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I went to college in the Bay Area and to a small private college with significant portion of very wealthy. Some in the private college concealed their wealth, s

I went to college in the Bay Area and to a small private college with significant portion of very wealthy. Some in the private college concealed their wealth, some didn't. The thing is, most middle or above folks with an once of sophistication can sense the trust fund kid a mile away - most working class can sense something too, just maybe don't know the middle-class from the trust funders. I'm shocked the author was shocked to discover someone, at Yale, who spent their time in self-absorbed, non-survival-oriented activity was very wealthy. I guess some at the Ivy League spend their time learning to act wealthy without realizing that's what they're doing (I think the 2% of actually poor who get into the Ivy Leagues tend to be "hard working rules followers", who by this tend to not notice the obvious about people). But given the real wealthy folks signal who they are, whether they like it or not, all day long, the situation makes your point about "they have to conceal it to be treated as human" ring totally false. Nah, they can't conceal it, not to very many, and most know it. I've met some who didn't know but they were sad and I assume there are others who go in for much deeper cover but that's a small minority.

nyxxie 7y ago
> the situation makes your point about "they have to conceal it to be treated as human" ring totally false They can smell it sure, but their reaction is proportional to some product of distance between their socioeconomic positions and how much shame the other party signals. Pretending to be poor is demonstrating shame of one's higher position. In your case, this seems to have been enough to placate their less privileged peers.
- joe_the_user 7y ago
  But it really occurs to me, the rich aren't acting poor to fool the poor. The rich don't care about the poor and don't encounter them that much. The rich act "poor" to fool themselves or just flatter themselves, to tell themselves they face challenges or just because their idea of the poor is romantic. Back in college X, lots of folks dressed vaguely dock workers, with lots of plaid and such, but no one trying to actually seem a dock worker. It was just a starting off point for a pose. No, the rich are ashamed but aren't ashamed to you, they're ashamed to themselves.
  - shadowbanme 7y ago
    I think you’re forgetting the two rules of fashion: 1. Do what those above you do. 2. Whatever you do, do not do what those below you do. If rich people act poor, it’s because they’re trying to avoid being mistaken for middle-class kids who are trying to be mistaken for rich kids. When all the middle class kids start wearing Armani, it’s time to start dressing like the lower class (knowing that the Middle Class kids can’t possibly follow you there because they’re too scared of being confused with actual lower class people).
- jayd16 7y ago
  Calloquially this is known as humility.
gnicholas 7y ago
> the thing is, most middle or above folks with an once of sophistication can sense the trust fund kid a mile away My experience has been the same as the author's. My college classmates (at Swarthmore) and I were repeatedly surprised when we learned that our friends were trust fund kids. I remember junior year we found out that one kid was super wealthy because he bought a last-minute cross-country plane ticket, first class. Even his roommates, who had lived with him for years, had no clue he was wealthy. Another time, I learned that a girl was wealthy because she bought an iPod ($400 in 2004!) on a whim. I'd previously thought she was upper-middle class because she drove a Honda CR-V and didn't have any other trappings of wealth.
- goatinaboat 7y ago
  Both of those examples are put-it-on-a-card-and-worry-about-it-later territory for even normal, middle-class people. Super-wealthy is buying a yacht on a whim.
  - gnicholas 7y ago
    First class round-trip tickets across the US? Thats a thousand bucks. And $400 for a music player? Those are not normal expenditures for middle-class 20-year-olds (in 2007, before MP3 players were ubiquitous and inexpensive). Regardless, I’m not saying these are only ever purchased by the ultra-wealthy. I’m saying this was the first sign anyone had that these kids had any money whatsoever. It turned out both have trust funds and are extraordinarily wealthy.
    - goatinaboat 7y ago
      That particular example resonated with me. I'm not super-rich, far from it, I certainly wasn't even earning much in that time-frame. And I did a similar thing because it was the last ticket left and I had to get to a funeral. There must have been other clues that lead to the conclusion that they were trust fund kids!
      - ikeyany 7y ago
austhrow743 7y ago
A thing being known secretly and a thing being known openly are two very different scenarios. That they can't completely conceal their wealth and that they know that, is not a reason to believe they're trying to conceal their wealth.

nyxxie 7y ago

> the situation makes your point about "they have to conceal it to be treated as human" ring totally false They can smell it sure, but their reaction is proportional to some product of distance between their socioeconomic positions and how much shame the other party signals. Pretending to be poor is demonstrating shame of one's higher position. In your case, this seems to have been enough to placate their less privileged peers.

joe_the_user 7y ago
But it really occurs to me, the rich aren't acting poor to fool the poor. The rich don't care about the poor and don't encounter them that much. The rich act "poor" to fool themselves or just flatter themselves, to tell themselves they face challenges or just because their idea of the poor is romantic. Back in college X, lots of folks dressed vaguely dock workers, with lots of plaid and such, but no one trying to actually seem a dock worker. It was just a starting off point for a pose. No, the rich are ashamed but aren't ashamed to you, they're ashamed to themselves.
- shadowbanme 7y ago
  I think you’re forgetting the two rules of fashion: 1. Do what those above you do. 2. Whatever you do, do not do what those below you do. If rich people act poor, it’s because they’re trying to avoid being mistaken for middle-class kids who are trying to be mistaken for rich kids. When all the middle class kids start wearing Armani, it’s time to start dressing like the lower class (knowing that the Middle Class kids can’t possibly follow you there because they’re too scared of being confused with actual lower class people).
jayd16 7y ago
Calloquially this is known as humility.

gnicholas 7y ago

> the thing is, most middle or above folks with an once of sophistication can sense the trust fund kid a mile away My experience has been the same as the author's. My college classmates (at Swarthmore) and I were repeatedly surprised when we learned that our friends were trust fund kids. I remember junior year we found out that one kid was super wealthy because he bought a last-minute cross-country plane ticket, first class. Even his roommates, who had lived with him for years, had no clue he was wealthy. Another time, I learned that a girl was wealthy because she bought an iPod ($400 in 2004!) on a whim. I'd previously thought she was upper-middle class because she drove a Honda CR-V and didn't have any other trappings of wealth.

goatinaboat 7y ago
Both of those examples are put-it-on-a-card-and-worry-about-it-later territory for even normal, middle-class people. Super-wealthy is buying a yacht on a whim.
- gnicholas 7y ago
  First class round-trip tickets across the US? Thats a thousand bucks. And $400 for a music player? Those are not normal expenditures for middle-class 20-year-olds (in 2007, before MP3 players were ubiquitous and inexpensive). Regardless, I’m not saying these are only ever purchased by the ultra-wealthy. I’m saying this was the first sign anyone had that these kids had any money whatsoever. It turned out both have trust funds and are extraordinarily wealthy.
  - goatinaboat 7y ago
    That particular example resonated with me. I'm not super-rich, far from it, I certainly wasn't even earning much in that time-frame. And I did a similar thing because it was the last ticket left and I had to get to a funeral. There must have been other clues that lead to the conclusion that they were trust fund kids!
    - ikeyany 7y ago

austhrow743 7y ago

A thing being known secretly and a thing being known openly are two very different scenarios. That they can't completely conceal their wealth and that they know that, is not a reason to believe they're trying to conceal their wealth.