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As someone who went bald before I was 20 (Like you it sounds like), I'd say you're heavily generalizing. Sure, shaving your head worked for you and solved your

by DSMan195276 7y ago

As someone who went bald before I was 20 (Like you it sounds like), I'd say you're heavily generalizing. Sure, shaving your head worked for you and solved your problem, but that doesn't mean it is a solution that solves the problem for everybody, and claiming that it's not a "real" problem because you found a solution that works for you is a bit ridiculous. It's easy to say I should just completely shave my head and ignore what others think of me, but for me that's not a solution that has worked - it would be great if it did and I could just will myself to stop being self-conscious, but that hasn't worked that well for me. And if a "cure" for baldness would fix my problem then that's useful to me and a solution to a real problem I have - and it is something that would certainly improve my current quality of life.

phs318u 7y ago
As an almost-bald man myself (who shaves smooth twice a week; what a chore [0]), may I respectfully ask if you've considered treating the psychology of self-consciousness [1] rather than the hair loss? [0] Seriously, can someone please invent a a once-and-for-all hair removal process that means I never have to shave again? While losing my hair was the "problem" initially, the real problem has turned out to be that the balding stopped. I wish it had continued to completion. [1] Also, if you had say, implants, wouldn't it be possible that you'd still be self-conscious, but this time about whether the implants were detectable? EDITED to add [1].
- fiskeben 7y ago
  Shaving the head is zen :) But you're right, it is a lot of work that it would be nice to be without.
  - thetrainfold 7y ago
    Just imagine the work that haired people go through.. (sorry)
- hardlianotion 7y ago
  Shaving not for everyone. I clipper semi-regularly. Shaving tends to scar you up and some folk (including me) have major skin irritation that festers.
- kls 7y ago
  You can do waxing, a little painful but a lot less "Maintenance", also if you are sure you want to go the full Monty you can go laser hair removal (it's not totally permanent but it goes away for a long time).
nominated1 7y ago
Like you I began going bald before the age of 20. I was teased a bit in highschool but nothing that I let get to me enough to leave scars. I don’t know how old you are but until my late 20’s I’d wear a hat and preferred social scenes where it was appropriate. By the time I hit my mid 30’s I was more comfortable. Now in my 40’s it’s a non-issue. Meanwhile, friends of mine who began thinning in their 30’s are still fretting about it. I wonder if they’ll be comfortable by their the time they hit 50. Reasons I chose to go with a shaved head: My dad wore a toupee and nobody was allowed over after dad took it off (he’d take it off immediately after work, apparently they’re not very comfortable). My uncle tried every new cream/lotion that came on the market and was obsessed (he died of brain cancer at age 62 btw). My grandfather, was just bald. Of the three my grandfather was the most confident and comfortable in his on skin. I’m not telling you to just get over it, it’s demoralizing when you’re young. I just hope that with time you’ll become more comfortable with yourself. My wife and previous girlfriends never had a problem with it as many women don’t. At this point she tells me what length I should keep it and I just go with that.
- vonseel 7y ago
  I wonder if the cancer was related to the creams and stuff he tried though. Terrible way to go out. My mother died from glioblastomas. Completely random (as far as we know). She was a very healthy person and did not smoke or drink after her young 20s.
- puranjay 7y ago
  I would imagine it all depends on where you are in your romantic life. If you're 35 and happily married, I doubt you would fret way too much about balding. But if you're 25 and right in the middle of your dating life, balding is a handicap
  - mrhappyunhappy 7y ago
    I wouldn’t cal it a handicap. I think a lot of it comes down to confidence. Women can tell when a guy is not confident in himself / his appearance and that’s a turn off.
  - 7y ago
girvo 7y ago
Right; if I started going bald, I’d want a “cure” or treatment — I have a weirdly shaped head and it genuinely looks terrible with short cropped (or shaved) hair unfortunately! It doesn’t work for everyone, sadly.
- toyg 7y ago
  Same - I genuinely despise everything that has to do with hair maintenance, but I fully shaved once and I looked terrible. I don’t particularly care for baldness (my dating days are likely over), but shaving is just not a magic solution for everyone.
  - pbhjpbhj 7y ago
    >"I fully shaved once and I looked terrible." // So? Why is the aesthetics important to you? If it's functional and useful but looks ugly, then I consider it a mature and developed response to choose that nonetheless. Your, and others, preference for appearance doesn't need to be weighed into your decision, unless you wish it too.
    - girvo 7y ago
      > Why is the aesthetics important to you? Because I enjoy looking good, where looking good is defined by my own aesthetics. You are not the arbiter on what I get to spend my limited amount of "focus" credits on in life, and I find your insinuation that my caring about my appearance and style is "immature" a little offensive. Your life is not my life. Pretty straightforward.
      - pbhjpbhj 7y ago
        I think you've misunderstood. I don't care about what you look like. The point is _you_ have a choice what weight you give it, you can choose to care less or more about it (at some level). The reason to answer the "so?" question is to understand it for yourself, your answer doesn't matter to me in the slightest. > find your insinuation that my caring about my appearance and style is "immature" a little offensive. // I don't think it's immature to care about one's appearance; I do think it takes a particular development of character - that usually comes from maturity - to feel a desire to conform one's appearance to a particular pattern but look beyond that, and learn to accept it. Along with that I'd note that appearance is often all-consuming for teenagers, and less important for most people as they age (things like functionality and longevity, say, become higher priorities than the simple look of a thing). All that said, I'm not sure why you're so hostile to my opinion: as you say your life is not mine. If you're content in that then that's showing just the same sort of developed, mature, thinking. [TL;DR] So, I merely suggest you answer for yourself why "I enjoy looking good" and _consciously_ decide on the weighting that has in sartorial and other aesthetic decisions.
Josh379 7y ago
This site is about finding solutions to hard problems, not just throwing your hands up in the air and accepting them. There are other sires for that.
simonh 7y ago
I appreciate what works for one person won't necessarily work for another and sure, if if this is a real problem for you then anything that can help you is great. >and ignore what others think of me What others think of us is important, sure, we're social creatures. But do others really think anything negative of us if we have a number 2? There are loads of people either bald or with close cuts that are well respected and beloved. Even celebrities widely regarded as good looking. It's not like it's a universal sign of ugliness, nowadays anyway. My dad used to have a comb-over. Yeesh! I loved having hair, I like to think I was pretty good looking, but now I'm a slap-head and that's fine. One day I'll be dead. Eh. *hit happens.

phs318u 7y ago

As an almost-bald man myself (who shaves smooth twice a week; what a chore [0]), may I respectfully ask if you've considered treating the psychology of self-consciousness [1] rather than the hair loss? [0] Seriously, can someone please invent a a once-and-for-all hair removal process that means I never have to shave again? While losing my hair was the "problem" initially, the real problem has turned out to be that the balding stopped. I wish it had continued to completion. [1] Also, if you had say, implants, wouldn't it be possible that you'd still be self-conscious, but this time about whether the implants were detectable? EDITED to add [1].

fiskeben 7y ago
Shaving the head is zen :) But you're right, it is a lot of work that it would be nice to be without.
- thetrainfold 7y ago
  Just imagine the work that haired people go through.. (sorry)
hardlianotion 7y ago
Shaving not for everyone. I clipper semi-regularly. Shaving tends to scar you up and some folk (including me) have major skin irritation that festers.
kls 7y ago
You can do waxing, a little painful but a lot less "Maintenance", also if you are sure you want to go the full Monty you can go laser hair removal (it's not totally permanent but it goes away for a long time).

nominated1 7y ago

Like you I began going bald before the age of 20. I was teased a bit in highschool but nothing that I let get to me enough to leave scars. I don’t know how old you are but until my late 20’s I’d wear a hat and preferred social scenes where it was appropriate. By the time I hit my mid 30’s I was more comfortable. Now in my 40’s it’s a non-issue. Meanwhile, friends of mine who began thinning in their 30’s are still fretting about it. I wonder if they’ll be comfortable by their the time they hit 50. Reasons I chose to go with a shaved head: My dad wore a toupee and nobody was allowed over after dad took it off (he’d take it off immediately after work, apparently they’re not very comfortable). My uncle tried every new cream/lotion that came on the market and was obsessed (he died of brain cancer at age 62 btw). My grandfather, was just bald. Of the three my grandfather was the most confident and comfortable in his on skin. I’m not telling you to just get over it, it’s demoralizing when you’re young. I just hope that with time you’ll become more comfortable with yourself. My wife and previous girlfriends never had a problem with it as many women don’t. At this point she tells me what length I should keep it and I just go with that.

vonseel 7y ago
I wonder if the cancer was related to the creams and stuff he tried though. Terrible way to go out. My mother died from glioblastomas. Completely random (as far as we know). She was a very healthy person and did not smoke or drink after her young 20s.
puranjay 7y ago
I would imagine it all depends on where you are in your romantic life. If you're 35 and happily married, I doubt you would fret way too much about balding. But if you're 25 and right in the middle of your dating life, balding is a handicap
- mrhappyunhappy 7y ago
  I wouldn’t cal it a handicap. I think a lot of it comes down to confidence. Women can tell when a guy is not confident in himself / his appearance and that’s a turn off.
- 7y ago

girvo 7y ago

Right; if I started going bald, I’d want a “cure” or treatment — I have a weirdly shaped head and it genuinely looks terrible with short cropped (or shaved) hair unfortunately! It doesn’t work for everyone, sadly.

toyg 7y ago
Same - I genuinely despise everything that has to do with hair maintenance, but I fully shaved once and I looked terrible. I don’t particularly care for baldness (my dating days are likely over), but shaving is just not a magic solution for everyone.
- pbhjpbhj 7y ago
  >"I fully shaved once and I looked terrible." // So? Why is the aesthetics important to you? If it's functional and useful but looks ugly, then I consider it a mature and developed response to choose that nonetheless. Your, and others, preference for appearance doesn't need to be weighed into your decision, unless you wish it too.
  - girvo 7y ago
    > Why is the aesthetics important to you? Because I enjoy looking good, where looking good is defined by my own aesthetics. You are not the arbiter on what I get to spend my limited amount of "focus" credits on in life, and I find your insinuation that my caring about my appearance and style is "immature" a little offensive. Your life is not my life. Pretty straightforward.
    - pbhjpbhj 7y ago
      I think you've misunderstood. I don't care about what you look like. The point is _you_ have a choice what weight you give it, you can choose to care less or more about it (at some level). The reason to answer the "so?" question is to understand it for yourself, your answer doesn't matter to me in the slightest. > find your insinuation that my caring about my appearance and style is "immature" a little offensive. // I don't think it's immature to care about one's appearance; I do think it takes a particular development of character - that usually comes from maturity - to feel a desire to conform one's appearance to a particular pattern but look beyond that, and learn to accept it. Along with that I'd note that appearance is often all-consuming for teenagers, and less important for most people as they age (things like functionality and longevity, say, become higher priorities than the simple look of a thing). All that said, I'm not sure why you're so hostile to my opinion: as you say your life is not mine. If you're content in that then that's showing just the same sort of developed, mature, thinking. [TL;DR] So, I merely suggest you answer for yourself why "I enjoy looking good" and _consciously_ decide on the weighting that has in sartorial and other aesthetic decisions.

Josh379 7y ago

This site is about finding solutions to hard problems, not just throwing your hands up in the air and accepting them. There are other sires for that.

simonh 7y ago

I appreciate what works for one person won't necessarily work for another and sure, if if this is a real problem for you then anything that can help you is great. >and ignore what others think of me What others think of us is important, sure, we're social creatures. But do others really think anything negative of us if we have a number 2? There are loads of people either bald or with close cuts that are well respected and beloved. Even celebrities widely regarded as good looking. It's not like it's a universal sign of ugliness, nowadays anyway. My dad used to have a comb-over. Yeesh! I loved having hair, I like to think I was pretty good looking, but now I'm a slap-head and that's fine. One day I'll be dead. Eh. *hit happens.