5 ms·

Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important. Check

Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important. Check out this YouTube video titled: How to stop people from talking over you. https://youtu.be/ikAfrKf5A8I https://youtu.be/ikAfrKf5A8I The YouTube channel Charisma on Command have a bunch of great videos on EQ.

oneepic 7y ago
I'm not really a huge fan of that channel in terms of the political content and overall presentation of each topic. But more to the point, this advice can really backfire -- maybe it will become a contest of who can speak the loudest, and you'll wind up confusing and pissing everyone off. I think I still lean towards talking to a manager as a more effective strategy, and a culture where management lets this kind of thing happen isn't really one I want to be a part of anyway.
- Blackstone4 7y ago
  I feel like it’s all about finishing what you are saying calmly and confidently without necessarily getting louder. It might mean everyone doesn’t hear you but that’s not the point. The point is to maintain a strong social position. I’m not sure going to a manager will work. That’s like saying: Rather than adapting my behaviour, I’d rather go to someone in the group who has power and ask them to defend me...I would rather improve my social skills and navigate the company myself. This would build my EQ and make promotions more likely.
- jtms 7y ago
  Hmm, I watched a few of his videos and just saw some really great advice on how to be a better, more empowered, stronger person - not sure what "political content" you are referring to.
godelski 7y ago
As a shy person this is what I had found has been effective. By shutting up you give that person dominance and they usually continue to do it more. If you continue talking they end up looking like the rude person. But this technique requires persistence and doesn't always work. Sometimes people are just jerks (or don't realize what they're doing)
- PeterisP 7y ago
  This technique also requires some actual authority. It may well be that the other person is interrupting intentionally and asserting (with authority) that your intended message will not be given any more time and attention and the meeting/discussion will proceed without it - which sometimes needs to be done; I've seen more than one such case happening in certain (non-internal) debates because it really needed to be done. You can escalate and re-assert that your point is valid, but that's just escalation that can go both ways, it can result in your message being heard and it can also result in you being physically removed from the discussion; so if you choose to escalate, then you need to be certain about who'll "win" the escalation. If it's an internal team meeting and the 'interrupter' is your peer, then it's one context; if it's a customer-vendor meeting and the 'interrupter' is your boss, then that's a quite different context, and you'd better stop making that point as soon as you get a hint that it's not where he wants to direct the conversation (with the other party); your point may be valid but if making it here and now would harm the company negotiating position, then he gets to decide that your message shouldn't be told here and now. A big aspect that's important is who's setting the topic of the discussion, and the limits of what's off-topic, disctracting or irrelevant? In an informal small discussion between peers usually that's everyone and includes you, but there are many cases where it's someone else. And in many cases that someone else should be interrupting people and ensuring that some things don't get listened to - moderating discussions is a valid need that's hard to do and often gets done less than it should, resulting in excessive ineffective long offtopic meetings.
bargl 7y ago
I find simply stating, "Excuse me but I wasn't finished." Is typically enough to get the point across. You can be polite and not allow people to railroad you.
mcguire 7y ago
"Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important." And after the two of you have talked over each other for a few seconds, they'll stop and say something like, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" You may think it's an invitation to explain what you were trying to say. It isn't. And if you're like me, at this point of what I laughingly call my career, your best move is to shrug and walk off.
- plutonorm 7y ago
  I used to try this with my manager when he would interrupt me. Sometimes we would go on talking over each other for a full 10 ish seconds. That's a really really long time for two people to talk over each other and not stop. So uncomfortable, but I found it so rude for him to talk over me and he did it so frequently that in the end I just refused to stop talking. I'm naturally shy and soft spoken, so it's not that I was going on too long! He never seemed to get the message, so I left. But I burned out at that company and have never been able to care about my job since. Now I hate everything about my job and can barely be bothered to touch the keyboard, that's what it has been like for the last 4 years.
  - Aeolun 7y ago
    Bad managers break people.
  - hyperpallium 7y ago
    IDK if this will help, but I hope it will: It sounds like you were forced into a fight with a manager over whether your opinions, ideas and thoughts were worth hearing - to him. Although he had an official position, he was not acting with decent authority: so his judgement of your ideas has no force or truth, but is just his. Your ideas, opinions and thoughts themselves were never at stake. They existed before that manager, and they existed after. They exist now.
voodootrucker 7y ago
I've tried that and had the other folks just keep talking too. It's horrible and doesn't work in my experience.
wst_ 7y ago
I find it extremely rude and aggressive. It's like shoving people off the way with your elbows because there's a crowd in front off you. I'd argue that much better way is to back off for a moment and try more diplomatic solution.

oneepic 7y ago

I'm not really a huge fan of that channel in terms of the political content and overall presentation of each topic. But more to the point, this advice can really backfire -- maybe it will become a contest of who can speak the loudest, and you'll wind up confusing and pissing everyone off. I think I still lean towards talking to a manager as a more effective strategy, and a culture where management lets this kind of thing happen isn't really one I want to be a part of anyway.

Blackstone4 7y ago
I feel like it’s all about finishing what you are saying calmly and confidently without necessarily getting louder. It might mean everyone doesn’t hear you but that’s not the point. The point is to maintain a strong social position. I’m not sure going to a manager will work. That’s like saying: Rather than adapting my behaviour, I’d rather go to someone in the group who has power and ask them to defend me...I would rather improve my social skills and navigate the company myself. This would build my EQ and make promotions more likely.
jtms 7y ago
Hmm, I watched a few of his videos and just saw some really great advice on how to be a better, more empowered, stronger person - not sure what "political content" you are referring to.

godelski 7y ago

As a shy person this is what I had found has been effective. By shutting up you give that person dominance and they usually continue to do it more. If you continue talking they end up looking like the rude person. But this technique requires persistence and doesn't always work. Sometimes people are just jerks (or don't realize what they're doing)

PeterisP 7y ago
This technique also requires some actual authority. It may well be that the other person is interrupting intentionally and asserting (with authority) that your intended message will not be given any more time and attention and the meeting/discussion will proceed without it - which sometimes needs to be done; I've seen more than one such case happening in certain (non-internal) debates because it really needed to be done. You can escalate and re-assert that your point is valid, but that's just escalation that can go both ways, it can result in your message being heard and it can also result in you being physically removed from the discussion; so if you choose to escalate, then you need to be certain about who'll "win" the escalation. If it's an internal team meeting and the 'interrupter' is your peer, then it's one context; if it's a customer-vendor meeting and the 'interrupter' is your boss, then that's a quite different context, and you'd better stop making that point as soon as you get a hint that it's not where he wants to direct the conversation (with the other party); your point may be valid but if making it here and now would harm the company negotiating position, then he gets to decide that your message shouldn't be told here and now. A big aspect that's important is who's setting the topic of the discussion, and the limits of what's off-topic, disctracting or irrelevant? In an informal small discussion between peers usually that's everyone and includes you, but there are many cases where it's someone else. And in many cases that someone else should be interrupting people and ensuring that some things don't get listened to - moderating discussions is a valid need that's hard to do and often gets done less than it should, resulting in excessive ineffective long offtopic meetings.

bargl 7y ago

I find simply stating, "Excuse me but I wasn't finished." Is typically enough to get the point across. You can be polite and not allow people to railroad you.

mcguire 7y ago

"Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important." And after the two of you have talked over each other for a few seconds, they'll stop and say something like, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" You may think it's an invitation to explain what you were trying to say. It isn't. And if you're like me, at this point of what I laughingly call my career, your best move is to shrug and walk off.

plutonorm 7y ago
I used to try this with my manager when he would interrupt me. Sometimes we would go on talking over each other for a full 10 ish seconds. That's a really really long time for two people to talk over each other and not stop. So uncomfortable, but I found it so rude for him to talk over me and he did it so frequently that in the end I just refused to stop talking. I'm naturally shy and soft spoken, so it's not that I was going on too long! He never seemed to get the message, so I left. But I burned out at that company and have never been able to care about my job since. Now I hate everything about my job and can barely be bothered to touch the keyboard, that's what it has been like for the last 4 years.
- Aeolun 7y ago
  Bad managers break people.
- hyperpallium 7y ago
  IDK if this will help, but I hope it will: It sounds like you were forced into a fight with a manager over whether your opinions, ideas and thoughts were worth hearing - to him. Although he had an official position, he was not acting with decent authority: so his judgement of your ideas has no force or truth, but is just his. Your ideas, opinions and thoughts themselves were never at stake. They existed before that manager, and they existed after. They exist now.

voodootrucker 7y ago

I've tried that and had the other folks just keep talking too. It's horrible and doesn't work in my experience.

wst_ 7y ago

I find it extremely rude and aggressive. It's like shoving people off the way with your elbows because there's a crowd in front off you. I'd argue that much better way is to back off for a moment and try more diplomatic solution.