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Any alternatives for maintaining remote friendships? EDIT: with passive updates.

by zerr 7y ago

chii 7y ago
email and video calls every now and then.
tadzik_ 7y ago
Any other form of communication – email, IMs, phones etc. If you're not having a conversation but just "like" each other's photos it's not "maintaining a remote friendship" anyway.
- zerr 7y ago
  Passively receiving some updates, i.e. where they've checked in, some new photos, posts/comments, etc... is also useful I think.
  - megous 7y ago
    Blogs used to be/are good for that.
  - tadzik_ 7y ago
    Yeah, good point. I often find myself wanting to follow what some people are up to (friends or not), and it's always frustrating how it requires you to be a part of a certain platform to do that – you can't follow anyone's instagram, facebook, twitter etc without an account, and even then you still need to go on instagram/facebook/twitter to actually check it out. I recently created myself a Pixelfed (a federated instagram, basically) and was pleasantly surprised how my profile has a plain, old RSS feed, so that anyone can "track" me without ever visiting a website (which is something that ActivityPub itself also allows, but AP still forces you to be a part of the "system", so to say). I'd much prefer that kind of Federated world, but I don't see how we can get there in any other way than spreading awareness about it and basically nagging our friends (at the risk of isolating ourselves) – “I wish I could follow your adventures and thoughts, but I don't want a facebook account”. This of course requires a critical mass for basically each person, and probably a way of automatically updating the locked-in platforms (for each post you push to pixelfed/blog it updates your instagram/facebook) so that the ones who take a step out don't need to leave their locked-in friends behind.
    - ubercow13 7y ago
      How is using ActivityPub any more being part of the system than having to use the RSS 'system'?
      - tadzik_ 7y ago
        ActivityPub requires an account on a server of some sort. RSS is client-only, so the "friction" is much lower. Of all the people who listen to podcasts through some kind of an app, how many of them have created an account anywhere?
        deleted 7y ago
        [deleted]
- raverbashing 7y ago
  None are passive
Fnoord 7y ago
https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2549 https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2549 On a serious note, all the tools from before Facebook existed still work. If you need Facebook/Twitter alternative consider Mastodon or Diaspora.
mrmanner 7y ago
I’m still a Facebook user, but I’m thinking more and more about leaving. Not so much because of the tracking as for the expectation of maintaining tens of hundreds of “friendships”. Keeping track of what former colleagues are up to, meeting someone at a conference every other year and the conversation is 90% “I saw online that you (...)”, and having less time for proper conversations with actual remote friends. I don’t know how it will end, but I’m confident that I’ll keep in touch with the friends that are actually important. Not staying in semi-touch with people I don’t feel the urge to call, send a mail, or invite/travel to is something I look forward to :)
- astura 7y ago
  Why not just unfriend or unfollow former colleagues and people that you met at conferences?
progval 7y ago
Email, forums, the Fediverse (Mastodon/Pleroma/...), Twitter
6gvONxR4sf7o 7y ago
Since leaving facebook, I've found the lack of passive interactions has increased the number of active interactions I have with my friends. Leaving facebook has strengthened a number of my friendships.

Any alternatives for maintaining remote friendships? EDIT: with passive updates.

by zerr 7y ago

Any alternatives for maintaining remote friendships? EDIT: with passive updates.

chii 7y ago

email and video calls every now and then.

tadzik_ 7y ago

Any other form of communication – email, IMs, phones etc. If you're not having a conversation but just "like" each other's photos it's not "maintaining a remote friendship" anyway.

zerr 7y ago
Passively receiving some updates, i.e. where they've checked in, some new photos, posts/comments, etc... is also useful I think.
- megous 7y ago
  Blogs used to be/are good for that.
- tadzik_ 7y ago
  Yeah, good point. I often find myself wanting to follow what some people are up to (friends or not), and it's always frustrating how it requires you to be a part of a certain platform to do that – you can't follow anyone's instagram, facebook, twitter etc without an account, and even then you still need to go on instagram/facebook/twitter to actually check it out. I recently created myself a Pixelfed (a federated instagram, basically) and was pleasantly surprised how my profile has a plain, old RSS feed, so that anyone can "track" me without ever visiting a website (which is something that ActivityPub itself also allows, but AP still forces you to be a part of the "system", so to say). I'd much prefer that kind of Federated world, but I don't see how we can get there in any other way than spreading awareness about it and basically nagging our friends (at the risk of isolating ourselves) – “I wish I could follow your adventures and thoughts, but I don't want a facebook account”. This of course requires a critical mass for basically each person, and probably a way of automatically updating the locked-in platforms (for each post you push to pixelfed/blog it updates your instagram/facebook) so that the ones who take a step out don't need to leave their locked-in friends behind.
  - ubercow13 7y ago
    How is using ActivityPub any more being part of the system than having to use the RSS 'system'?
    - tadzik_ 7y ago
      ActivityPub requires an account on a server of some sort. RSS is client-only, so the "friction" is much lower. Of all the people who listen to podcasts through some kind of an app, how many of them have created an account anywhere?
      - deleted 7y ago
        [deleted]
raverbashing 7y ago
None are passive

Fnoord 7y ago

https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2549 https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2549 On a serious note, all the tools from before Facebook existed still work. If you need Facebook/Twitter alternative consider Mastodon or Diaspora.

mrmanner 7y ago

I’m still a Facebook user, but I’m thinking more and more about leaving. Not so much because of the tracking as for the expectation of maintaining tens of hundreds of “friendships”. Keeping track of what former colleagues are up to, meeting someone at a conference every other year and the conversation is 90% “I saw online that you (...)”, and having less time for proper conversations with actual remote friends. I don’t know how it will end, but I’m confident that I’ll keep in touch with the friends that are actually important. Not staying in semi-touch with people I don’t feel the urge to call, send a mail, or invite/travel to is something I look forward to :)

astura 7y ago
Why not just unfriend or unfollow former colleagues and people that you met at conferences?

progval 7y ago

Email, forums, the Fediverse (Mastodon/Pleroma/...), Twitter

6gvONxR4sf7o 7y ago

Since leaving facebook, I've found the lack of passive interactions has increased the number of active interactions I have with my friends. Leaving facebook has strengthened a number of my friendships.