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> My refusal to use Facebook means that I tend to miss out on a lot. Like what? I'm in my 20s-- I haven't used Facebook in 10 years and I have never once had t

> My refusal to use Facebook means that I tend to miss out on a lot. Like what? I'm in my 20s-- I haven't used Facebook in 10 years and I have never once had the feeling from my interactions with other people that I had missed out on something.

benburleson 7y ago
For example: I was invited to an event this week, and to participate, I need to RSVP on the Facebook event... I could ask how to get around that, but I'm actually not that interested. The point is, the process has put a roadblock in my participation. But to be honest, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.
- nicky0 7y ago
  Think of it as a useful filter. If the event isn't important enough to actually invite you in person, it probably isn't worth bothering with.
  - benburleson 7y ago
    In this case, I was invited in person, but the event is part of a larger process and they wanted accurate accounting because attendance included free beer :-)
mkoryak 7y ago
I'm in my 30s and have kids and no time, I don't see my friends very often because they are also in the same boat. So yeah, Facebook is a good place for me to keep up with people.
- asah 7y ago
  Can confirm
  - lagg 7y ago
    I like how this thread is at least partly confirming that Facebook has been taken over by parents sharing minion memes and shit, and this explains why. I mean no judgement here. If you can get your social jollies co-existing with dumb kids (the only ones that haven't migrated from Mom & Dad's new Minion meme deposit that facebook has become) and dumber parents pushing each other anti-vax propaganda- well all the more power to you I suppose. Really though I think people are too cowardly to just ask each other to hang out in real life. I'm that way myself and miss social cues when people are asking me to hang out constantly. I guess I can see it working for that kind of mindset. Really though, easier to delete all that social media and shit. I'd recommend it. Not that I used facebook, but did use twitter and a few others for a while. I'm on a continual mission to try to delete my HN account. But I don't think the Hacker News admins have the technical knowledge to understand what I mean by "add a delete button". It is a high level UX concept I know. P.S. I assume this is the part where the offended parents will be all like "WELL IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE ALL THAT TIME TO HANG OUT" and then I laugh at their facebook-idling asses.
ajross 7y ago
My whole extended family all use Facebook to post notes and pictures of kids and cousins, ask questions, say hi, and plan events. I have a clear feeling I would miss out on something if I refused to use the product. What, you say? They don't have to use Facebook to do that? Of course they don't. But they do, and I can't fix that. Your cohort seemingly doesn't, or the members that do aren't members you care about. That's what network effects are all about. "Facebook" isn't a product or a feature list in this context, it's a community. They have it, Google didn't, and that's what the linked article is about.
- iamtheworstdev 7y ago
  I have this same problem. I solve it by calling them or texting them and asking for updates.
smudgymcscmudge 7y ago
As a parent, one kid is involved with a theater group that organizes shows through facebook. School parents tend to communicate through facebook too. Of smaller significance, my regular poker game organizes games over facebook too. All that added up to me begrudgingly returning to facebook.
GarrisonPrime 7y ago
Are you in school or training? And/or do you work with members of your social circle? And/or does family live close? If any of these are true, I can see how Facebook offers little value. But the older you get, the fewer people you tend to have around. My social life is easily 30 times harder to maintain now than it was when I was in college. Work was also an easy place to find friends and kindred spirits. At first. But now, more and more, my coworkers are younger than me and even if we enjoy each other’s company there is simply less and less we have in common. Family starts dying off, or gradually moves over time to where everyone is scattered across the globe. Same with friends. Or they get married, have kids, get busy with careers, etc. New friends and family enter ones life of course, but they come fewer and farther between, and never feel quite as deep as those early life relationships. Many other platforms offer a way to stay connected, of course. But many of them are either too superficial to feel worthwhile, or have too few people on them, or have too much friction to be consistently used. I agree most of what is on Facebook is rather irrelevant, and I basically ignore 99% of what people post. But for those of us whose social lives have been scattered to the wind, nothing else out there comes close to Facebook’s utility.
- ablation 7y ago
  I don't have Facebook, and all of these needs for connectivity are taken care of by WhatsApp group chats, essentially. It feels far more intimate and immediate than Facebook ever did too.
  - zepto 7y ago
    WhatsApp is Facebook
    - ablation 7y ago
      Yes, I'm aware who owns WhatsApp. I was talking about the functionality aspect, I apologise if that wasn't clear enough in my initial post. I don't miss any functionality that Facebook offers because WhatsApp effectively does away with things I don't care about by providing me with highly curated groups of conversation and sharing, without the cruft. I am fully aware it's a part of the Facebook ecosystem.
ericabiz 7y ago
I've been out of high school for 20 years now, but a high school friend reached out to me on Facebook and let me know he and his wife were going to be in town for the weekend. We went out with them a few times and had a blast! He then let me know that another high school friend of mine had just moved a few miles away from me (I live thousands of miles away from where I went to high school, so this was news to me.) I went to her housewarming party--invited through Facebook--and now she and I have reconnected too. I am in several Facebook groups for our industry (cell phone repair) and it's how I've made friends, learned about new developments in our industry, and found vendors who are awesome. I am by no means a huge Facebook fan; the article yesterday about how they treat their outsourced content moderation teams was appalling. However, I acknowledge its utility for both business and personal uses.

benburleson 7y ago

For example: I was invited to an event this week, and to participate, I need to RSVP on the Facebook event... I could ask how to get around that, but I'm actually not that interested. The point is, the process has put a roadblock in my participation. But to be honest, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

nicky0 7y ago
Think of it as a useful filter. If the event isn't important enough to actually invite you in person, it probably isn't worth bothering with.
- benburleson 7y ago
  In this case, I was invited in person, but the event is part of a larger process and they wanted accurate accounting because attendance included free beer :-)

mkoryak 7y ago

I'm in my 30s and have kids and no time, I don't see my friends very often because they are also in the same boat. So yeah, Facebook is a good place for me to keep up with people.

asah 7y ago
Can confirm
- lagg 7y ago
  I like how this thread is at least partly confirming that Facebook has been taken over by parents sharing minion memes and shit, and this explains why. I mean no judgement here. If you can get your social jollies co-existing with dumb kids (the only ones that haven't migrated from Mom & Dad's new Minion meme deposit that facebook has become) and dumber parents pushing each other anti-vax propaganda- well all the more power to you I suppose. Really though I think people are too cowardly to just ask each other to hang out in real life. I'm that way myself and miss social cues when people are asking me to hang out constantly. I guess I can see it working for that kind of mindset. Really though, easier to delete all that social media and shit. I'd recommend it. Not that I used facebook, but did use twitter and a few others for a while. I'm on a continual mission to try to delete my HN account. But I don't think the Hacker News admins have the technical knowledge to understand what I mean by "add a delete button". It is a high level UX concept I know. P.S. I assume this is the part where the offended parents will be all like "WELL IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE ALL THAT TIME TO HANG OUT" and then I laugh at their facebook-idling asses.

ajross 7y ago

My whole extended family all use Facebook to post notes and pictures of kids and cousins, ask questions, say hi, and plan events. I have a clear feeling I would miss out on something if I refused to use the product. What, you say? They don't have to use Facebook to do that? Of course they don't. But they do, and I can't fix that. Your cohort seemingly doesn't, or the members that do aren't members you care about. That's what network effects are all about. "Facebook" isn't a product or a feature list in this context, it's a community. They have it, Google didn't, and that's what the linked article is about.

iamtheworstdev 7y ago
I have this same problem. I solve it by calling them or texting them and asking for updates.

smudgymcscmudge 7y ago

As a parent, one kid is involved with a theater group that organizes shows through facebook. School parents tend to communicate through facebook too. Of smaller significance, my regular poker game organizes games over facebook too. All that added up to me begrudgingly returning to facebook.

GarrisonPrime 7y ago

Are you in school or training? And/or do you work with members of your social circle? And/or does family live close? If any of these are true, I can see how Facebook offers little value. But the older you get, the fewer people you tend to have around. My social life is easily 30 times harder to maintain now than it was when I was in college. Work was also an easy place to find friends and kindred spirits. At first. But now, more and more, my coworkers are younger than me and even if we enjoy each other’s company there is simply less and less we have in common. Family starts dying off, or gradually moves over time to where everyone is scattered across the globe. Same with friends. Or they get married, have kids, get busy with careers, etc. New friends and family enter ones life of course, but they come fewer and farther between, and never feel quite as deep as those early life relationships. Many other platforms offer a way to stay connected, of course. But many of them are either too superficial to feel worthwhile, or have too few people on them, or have too much friction to be consistently used. I agree most of what is on Facebook is rather irrelevant, and I basically ignore 99% of what people post. But for those of us whose social lives have been scattered to the wind, nothing else out there comes close to Facebook’s utility.

ablation 7y ago
I don't have Facebook, and all of these needs for connectivity are taken care of by WhatsApp group chats, essentially. It feels far more intimate and immediate than Facebook ever did too.
- zepto 7y ago
  WhatsApp is Facebook
  - ablation 7y ago
    Yes, I'm aware who owns WhatsApp. I was talking about the functionality aspect, I apologise if that wasn't clear enough in my initial post. I don't miss any functionality that Facebook offers because WhatsApp effectively does away with things I don't care about by providing me with highly curated groups of conversation and sharing, without the cruft. I am fully aware it's a part of the Facebook ecosystem.

ericabiz 7y ago

I've been out of high school for 20 years now, but a high school friend reached out to me on Facebook and let me know he and his wife were going to be in town for the weekend. We went out with them a few times and had a blast! He then let me know that another high school friend of mine had just moved a few miles away from me (I live thousands of miles away from where I went to high school, so this was news to me.) I went to her housewarming party--invited through Facebook--and now she and I have reconnected too. I am in several Facebook groups for our industry (cell phone repair) and it's how I've made friends, learned about new developments in our industry, and found vendors who are awesome. I am by no means a huge Facebook fan; the article yesterday about how they treat their outsourced content moderation teams was appalling. However, I acknowledge its utility for both business and personal uses.