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I took a couple days off when my children are born, but as any dad/husband knows, after mom is set up at home and extended family visit and leave, there isn't m

by rjohnk 7y ago

I took a couple days off when my children are born, but as any dad/husband knows, after mom is set up at home and extended family visit and leave, there isn't much to do. I was bored after a few days so didn't mind working. Baby eats, poops, and naps. Dad gets in the way. :)

40acres 7y ago
Pretty surprised to hear this to be honest, did your wife feel the same way? Any complications during the birth of afterwards?
- rjohnk 7y ago
  No complications. Wife wanted me to get out of her hair as well. I was always helpful of course. Just got back to my 9-5 after a few days at home.
cbsks 7y ago
As a counterpoint, my paternity leave was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. California provided 7 weeks; I took 3 weeks immediately after my daughter was born and the rest spread out over the first year of her life. My daughter was a relatively easy newborn to take care of, she didn’t have any serious health issues and she was (and still is, thankfully) a very good sleeper. Even so, being home the first 3 weeks was an invaluable help to my wife. My wife fed our daughter every 4-5 hours, so I helped do things like grocery shop, make food, change diapers, put the baby to sleep, do laundry, tidy the house, etc. so my wife could get some sleep in between feedings. I have very fond memories of my daughter falling asleep on my chest while swinging in our hammock. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.
- sqs 7y ago
  Agreed here. I have a 2-week-old and I (as a dad) found a ton of things to do to help.
  - cbsks 7y ago
    Happy Father’s Day!
nradov 7y ago
It's a shame people are down voting you for sharing a personal experience. Perhaps it's some sort of moral judgment? My experience was similar. When my children were born my in-laws came to visit for months and did almost everything. There wasn't much for me to do and I felt like I was mostly just in the way, so after a couple weeks I went back to work. Fortunately I had a short commute and a somewhat flexible schedule so I could come out and help when needed.
- treis 7y ago
  > It's a shame people are down voting you for sharing a personal experience. Perhaps it's some sort of moral judgment The "Dad just gets in the way" part earned my downvote. If that was his personal experience, well, there's no nice way to put this, but that means he's bad at being a dad/husband. Even if we accept that Dad has no role in breastfeeding, there's still diaper changes, laundry, baths, and cleaning up various messes. Then there's helping out mom recovering from child birth and all of the cooking/cleaning to support normal life. With all that needs to be done and the best you can do is just get in the way? Not a good look.
  - dragonsngoblins 7y ago
    Most of the cooking/cleaning can be done after work depending on your life style, so it seems a bit of a leap to suggest he wasn't doing that even if he was working.
    - rjohnk 7y ago
      Exactly. It wasn't like I wasn't around or did nothing. It's just from 9-5 I worked. Did chores / helped the wife out all other hours of the week. Not sure why it offended some. The traditional notion of nuclear family roles is really dying it appears.
  - rjohnk 7y ago
    Ha! Thanks for the judgement. I'm a very good dad/husband, and I never said I did nothing. I just stated i went back to work after a few days. I was always home in the evenings, weekends, mornings.
Impossible 7y ago
This works in families where the extended family is actually useful and or respectful. In my case I was the only person available to directly support my wife after child birth.

by rjohnk 7y ago

40acres 7y ago

Pretty surprised to hear this to be honest, did your wife feel the same way? Any complications during the birth of afterwards?

rjohnk 7y ago
No complications. Wife wanted me to get out of her hair as well. I was always helpful of course. Just got back to my 9-5 after a few days at home.

cbsks 7y ago

As a counterpoint, my paternity leave was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. California provided 7 weeks; I took 3 weeks immediately after my daughter was born and the rest spread out over the first year of her life. My daughter was a relatively easy newborn to take care of, she didn’t have any serious health issues and she was (and still is, thankfully) a very good sleeper. Even so, being home the first 3 weeks was an invaluable help to my wife. My wife fed our daughter every 4-5 hours, so I helped do things like grocery shop, make food, change diapers, put the baby to sleep, do laundry, tidy the house, etc. so my wife could get some sleep in between feedings. I have very fond memories of my daughter falling asleep on my chest while swinging in our hammock. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.

sqs 7y ago
Agreed here. I have a 2-week-old and I (as a dad) found a ton of things to do to help.
- cbsks 7y ago
  Happy Father’s Day!

nradov 7y ago

It's a shame people are down voting you for sharing a personal experience. Perhaps it's some sort of moral judgment? My experience was similar. When my children were born my in-laws came to visit for months and did almost everything. There wasn't much for me to do and I felt like I was mostly just in the way, so after a couple weeks I went back to work. Fortunately I had a short commute and a somewhat flexible schedule so I could come out and help when needed.

treis 7y ago
> It's a shame people are down voting you for sharing a personal experience. Perhaps it's some sort of moral judgment The "Dad just gets in the way" part earned my downvote. If that was his personal experience, well, there's no nice way to put this, but that means he's bad at being a dad/husband. Even if we accept that Dad has no role in breastfeeding, there's still diaper changes, laundry, baths, and cleaning up various messes. Then there's helping out mom recovering from child birth and all of the cooking/cleaning to support normal life. With all that needs to be done and the best you can do is just get in the way? Not a good look.
- dragonsngoblins 7y ago
  Most of the cooking/cleaning can be done after work depending on your life style, so it seems a bit of a leap to suggest he wasn't doing that even if he was working.
  - rjohnk 7y ago
    Exactly. It wasn't like I wasn't around or did nothing. It's just from 9-5 I worked. Did chores / helped the wife out all other hours of the week. Not sure why it offended some. The traditional notion of nuclear family roles is really dying it appears.
- rjohnk 7y ago
  Ha! Thanks for the judgement. I'm a very good dad/husband, and I never said I did nothing. I just stated i went back to work after a few days. I was always home in the evenings, weekends, mornings.

Impossible 7y ago

This works in families where the extended family is actually useful and or respectful. In my case I was the only person available to directly support my wife after child birth.