5 ms·

Long experience, observation and reading lead me to say that the pop-culture idea of "falling in love" is just hormones and curiosity and adventure. Real, true

by lcall 8y ago

Long experience, observation and reading lead me to say that the pop-culture idea of "falling in love" is just hormones and curiosity and adventure. Real, true love is a decision to faithfully be there and serve a person through thick and thin. It is best if that decision is well-made. Related to courtship and marriage, I have put many thoughts here (based on experience, research and lots of observation): http://lukecall.net/ http://lukecall.net/ (under "Life Lessons").

Invictus0 8y ago
You should really reconsider the UI for your site. Yours is the most aggressively hostile website I have encountered in recent memory.
- shrimp_emoji 8y ago
  I would say "spartan". "Aggressively hostile" more brings to mind the pop-up, notification-requesting, cookies-warning sites that don't render, double-render, or GIGANTICALLY-render elements when you (wisely) turn off JS that most web entities use. : P
  - Invictus0 8y ago
    True, those are worse. Maybe my eyes are shit but I just can't even read that page.
    - oftenwrong 8y ago
      This is why I set firefox to always show me my chosen font, with a minimum font size that is still easily readable. I know better than some web designer when it comes to what font I can read most easily.
- nitrogen 8y ago
  It looks like raw html styling. Maybe browsers' default stylesheets aren't keeping up with the needs of all users.
  - antidesitter 8y ago
    Agreed. Browsers need better default stylesheets so authors can focus on content.
- lcall 8y ago
  Thanks for your candor. I grant you it's not very prettified. For someone with my personality (sounds like not for yours, that's OK), that could be a good thing: I like text, lightweight and skimmable (though I know elegance and pictures are more popular and pleasing). I try to make it so someone can read a page, and click parts of interest for more details, something like an outline, to make it navigable & useful to different interests, even with large amounts of information eventually contained there. Also, it is generated from my OM organizer software, so each page is not designed separately. And I have to prioritize limited time & energy carefully. Having said that, specific suggestions are very welcome. It also has an email address for feedback (in the small footer). :) Edit: would a sans-serif font, and/or larger, help?
  - FR10 8y ago
    Check these websites [1][2][3][4] (in order) that makes fun of the design in modern websites, which I consider much "aggressive hostile" with cookies and trackers than your site [1] https://motherfuckingwebsite.com https://motherfuckingwebsite.com [2] http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com [3] https://evenbettermotherfucking.website https://evenbettermotherfucking.website [4] https://thebestmotherfucking.website https://thebestmotherfucking.website
  - Invictus0 8y ago
    I am no UX designer, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. I would suggest increasing the text size, increasing the spacing between lines, and maybe organizing things a little better. Clicking down a rabbit hole of links with no sense for where I am in your organizational scheme or when I'll actually arrive at the content I'm looking for feels very disconcerting. The actual content is a monospaced font text file which extends across my entire monitor because I'm browsing in full screen, which makes for an extremely bad reading experience. Lots of hate for Medium on HN but notice how text on Medium has a font that is easy on the eyes and the width of the reading window is not very wide; I would try and mimic that experience.
    - lcall 8y ago
      Thanks. As time permits I will plan to look at what you've said. I'd like to balance that with my desire for an "outline" so I can have large amounts of easily-navigable info without creating huge pages. I see what you mean about the text file: I just haven't evolved it into a web page yet, so I can shorten the lines easily enough, but not sure how to integrate it best into my organizer software beyond that. One idea is that, I can export content with the software into single-page (text) outlines of selected subsets of the content, showing the outline structure with indentation (just using white-space for indentation, like org-mode, only farther in, currently 6 space characters per level) or 1.1, 1.1.1, 2.1.3 -style numbering with some indentation, down to N levels at a time. Perhaps sometime I could automate linking pages to/from such text outlines (they are 80-columns by default), when I generate the site. At selected places, or through out. Hmm. If I drop off here for a while or you want to continue conversation later, feel to email per the bottom of each page. Thanks again for the suggestions. Edit: Another way to put the problem is this: I have enough content, with much more probably to come, that I want to make it useful while avoiding the whole "TL/DR" syncrome for someone who would only want to read some. And let them easily choose which "some", while skimming or skipping others, thus my thinking in terms of outline-like structure. I hope that makes sense.
fjsolwmv 8y ago
"Love" is a terribly overloaded word, perhaps because billions of people intentionally abuse its meaning. An aphorism I enjoy is "love is something you do, not something you feel". Also, "love is when you value someone (or sometimes some thing) else as much as you value yourself."
- lbotos 8y ago
  I've described it as such: Love is both the emotion and the action. As humans, we should expect love the emotion to wax and wane, and there is beauty in that ebb and flow. But love the action, is steadfast and true, as in we can always make choices to keep it as such.
ak39 8y ago
So basically?: “Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand'ring bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken." ~ Bill the Bard
ajross 8y ago
> Real, true love is So... no infatuated scotsmen then? That's a semantic evasion. In fact the linked article is surely talking about the hormone thing, which is a real behavior that deserves to be understood and discussed, not mocked.

by lcall 8y ago

Invictus0 8y ago

You should really reconsider the UI for your site. Yours is the most aggressively hostile website I have encountered in recent memory.

shrimp_emoji 8y ago
I would say "spartan". "Aggressively hostile" more brings to mind the pop-up, notification-requesting, cookies-warning sites that don't render, double-render, or GIGANTICALLY-render elements when you (wisely) turn off JS that most web entities use. : P
- Invictus0 8y ago
  True, those are worse. Maybe my eyes are shit but I just can't even read that page.
  - oftenwrong 8y ago
    This is why I set firefox to always show me my chosen font, with a minimum font size that is still easily readable. I know better than some web designer when it comes to what font I can read most easily.
nitrogen 8y ago
It looks like raw html styling. Maybe browsers' default stylesheets aren't keeping up with the needs of all users.
- antidesitter 8y ago
  Agreed. Browsers need better default stylesheets so authors can focus on content.
lcall 8y ago
Thanks for your candor. I grant you it's not very prettified. For someone with my personality (sounds like not for yours, that's OK), that could be a good thing: I like text, lightweight and skimmable (though I know elegance and pictures are more popular and pleasing). I try to make it so someone can read a page, and click parts of interest for more details, something like an outline, to make it navigable & useful to different interests, even with large amounts of information eventually contained there. Also, it is generated from my OM organizer software, so each page is not designed separately. And I have to prioritize limited time & energy carefully. Having said that, specific suggestions are very welcome. It also has an email address for feedback (in the small footer). :) Edit: would a sans-serif font, and/or larger, help?
- FR10 8y ago
  Check these websites [1][2][3][4] (in order) that makes fun of the design in modern websites, which I consider much "aggressive hostile" with cookies and trackers than your site [1] https://motherfuckingwebsite.com https://motherfuckingwebsite.com [2] http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com [3] https://evenbettermotherfucking.website https://evenbettermotherfucking.website [4] https://thebestmotherfucking.website https://thebestmotherfucking.website
- Invictus0 8y ago
  I am no UX designer, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. I would suggest increasing the text size, increasing the spacing between lines, and maybe organizing things a little better. Clicking down a rabbit hole of links with no sense for where I am in your organizational scheme or when I'll actually arrive at the content I'm looking for feels very disconcerting. The actual content is a monospaced font text file which extends across my entire monitor because I'm browsing in full screen, which makes for an extremely bad reading experience. Lots of hate for Medium on HN but notice how text on Medium has a font that is easy on the eyes and the width of the reading window is not very wide; I would try and mimic that experience.
  - lcall 8y ago
    Thanks. As time permits I will plan to look at what you've said. I'd like to balance that with my desire for an "outline" so I can have large amounts of easily-navigable info without creating huge pages. I see what you mean about the text file: I just haven't evolved it into a web page yet, so I can shorten the lines easily enough, but not sure how to integrate it best into my organizer software beyond that. One idea is that, I can export content with the software into single-page (text) outlines of selected subsets of the content, showing the outline structure with indentation (just using white-space for indentation, like org-mode, only farther in, currently 6 space characters per level) or 1.1, 1.1.1, 2.1.3 -style numbering with some indentation, down to N levels at a time. Perhaps sometime I could automate linking pages to/from such text outlines (they are 80-columns by default), when I generate the site. At selected places, or through out. Hmm. If I drop off here for a while or you want to continue conversation later, feel to email per the bottom of each page. Thanks again for the suggestions. Edit: Another way to put the problem is this: I have enough content, with much more probably to come, that I want to make it useful while avoiding the whole "TL/DR" syncrome for someone who would only want to read some. And let them easily choose which "some", while skimming or skipping others, thus my thinking in terms of outline-like structure. I hope that makes sense.

fjsolwmv 8y ago

"Love" is a terribly overloaded word, perhaps because billions of people intentionally abuse its meaning. An aphorism I enjoy is "love is something you do, not something you feel". Also, "love is when you value someone (or sometimes some thing) else as much as you value yourself."

lbotos 8y ago
I've described it as such: Love is both the emotion and the action. As humans, we should expect love the emotion to wax and wane, and there is beauty in that ebb and flow. But love the action, is steadfast and true, as in we can always make choices to keep it as such.

ak39 8y ago

So basically?: “Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand'ring bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken." ~ Bill the Bard

ajross 8y ago

> Real, true love is So... no infatuated scotsmen then? That's a semantic evasion. In fact the linked article is surely talking about the hormone thing, which is a real behavior that deserves to be understood and discussed, not mocked.