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Feels like a slippery slope. Someone will always feel uncomfortable with something.
by sethammons 8y ago
Feels like a slippery slope. Someone will always feel uncomfortable with something.
- _jal 8y agoNo, it really isn't hard to avoid touching someone who doesn't like it. If simple accommodations like that are a "slippery slope", I'd suggest a little empathy.
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- sethammons 8y agoObviously, if you know someone doesn't like a thing, you can avoid doing that thing. It is quite common for some people who just met to clasp a shoulder or similar. It provides extra social comfort and connectivity. I'd suggest a little empathy for those seeking human connection in a socially positive way. Hmm. Seems that empathy thing goes both ways.
- _jal 8y agoTouch is a primal thing. There's a reason fights start over it. It can communicate a large range of things, including dominance and aggression. You don't go to the home of someone you just met and "make yourself at home" the same way you do with yours, and you don't touch without knowing how it will be received. You might pull back a stump.
- seba_dos1 8y ago> It provides extra social comfort and connectivity. It does, but not for "people who just met". For them it provides awkwardness and the feeling of being dominated.
- sethammons 8y agoWhen I talk to a little old lady in the grocery line and she touches my arm, I do not feel dominated, but to each their own I guess.
- ksaj 8y agoThis thread goes on indefinitely because of the lack of one word: context. You think of that little old lady one way. But if she was Queen Elizabeth, you would perceive something completely different in terms of power dynamics.
- sethammons 8y agoWhile I've yet to have Queen Elizabeth or some other high ranking official have some physical contact with me, pretty sure my first reaction would not to be thinking bout oppression.
- manicdee 8y agoProbably because you have always been the oppressor.
- sethammons 8y agoPoor kid, picked on quite a bit. Nerdy. Never been too good with people aside from being nice. Have had to work hard to understand normal conversation flow and such. Have never felt comfortable or natural with touch from strangers. You can write what ever narrative you like about me being an oppressor that makes your world view cogent. Doesn't make it right.
- manicdee 8y agoIf you are not comfortable with strangers touching you but you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with the little old lady in the grocer touching you, what’s actually happening there? Is it something to do with power dynamics, and perceived threat?
- frolig 8y agoI really don't like people who empathize, but I suggest we shake hands anyway.
- maxerickson 8y agoThe slippery slope towards consent? I think not touching strangers isn't really gonna pinch anyone's lifestyle real hard.
- Veen 8y agoMany things make some people uncomfortable: touching, making eye contact, being spoken to by strangers, being spoken to in a raised voice, being in the presence of a person dressed in a way that might be considered sexually provacative, or of a member of the opposite sex, or of someone who signals particular religious or political affiliations, and so on. Which of these are we to gain consent for in advance? No one is hurt by a casual touch to the hand or arm, any more than they are hurt by direct eye contact. But it can make some people just as uncomfortable.
- maxerickson 8y agoI like how you go on and on as if I hadn't written two paragraphs to begin with. I point out the costs of not touching being minimal exactly because I anticipated a tiresome argument whinging about all the other things we won't be able to do anymore.
- Veen 8y agoThe costs of avoiding direct eye contact are minimal. The cost of not wearing a crucifix are minimal. There are social benefits to touching, and most people are fine with casual touching. You have failed to demonstrate why touch is a special case. You can refer to my argument as whinging or tiresome if you like, but it that doesn't change its validity.
- frolig 8y agoI will testify that the cost of never leaving the house is exceedingly high.
- lmorchard 8y ago> most people are fine with casual touching That's a nice assumption. Are you sure about that? Have you asked most people? You might find that there are a lot of people who don't actually like it, but who find the consequences of making a fuss about it even worse.