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> No one has ever shamed me or even said anything about the fact that I had a glass or bottle of water instead of a drink. That's nice for you, but based on th

> No one has ever shamed me or even said anything about the fact that I had a glass or bottle of water instead of a drink. That's nice for you, but based on the article it's clearly not universal.

andonisus 8y ago
Even if someone were to shame you, what's to stop you from ignoring them? So what if other people have opinions about your behavior; just acknowledge them and move on.
- ablation 8y ago
  I'm not sure the shaming or even the people is the biggest issue with alcoholism and the issues raised in the article. It's more the almost overwhelming temptation - the need, even - to consume alcohol. It's not an issue I face, as I'm not an alcoholic, but I'm sympathetic to those who do suffer from this disease and face a less than equal footing in their professional lives as a result. I don't have a solution for the problem.
- PhasmaFelis 8y ago
  These are important networking events, as the article mentions. Making a bad impression could potentially impact your career. (Aside from the fact that humans are social animals wired to experience discomfort when snubbed. "Grow a thicker skin" is sometimes necessary, but it shouldn't have to be the default.)
nostrebored 8y ago
If as an academic you can't handle joking criticism, you've chosen the wrong field.
- PhasmaFelis 8y ago
  https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18885333 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18885333 And, again, this is about industry networking opportunities. It's not just social awkwardness at stake.
  - nostrebored 8y ago
    Drink virgin drinks. I go through frequent periods of not drinking that don't inhibit me from going to bars or going on business lunches. It doesn't escape me that these people are women. My wife has had similar experience in literally every other opt in social activity in our field. Have you considered that maybe it's not a hazard of not drinking, but rather a consequence of being a woman in a professional world that is hostile to them?
    - PhasmaFelis 8y ago
      I would be rather surprised if women didn't get more stick for teetotaling than men do. I'm not sure why you think that's a refutation of anything.
darkpuma 8y ago
Shame them for shaming you. Considering the majority of people in this world are sympathetic to the problems of alcoholism, your shaming will almost certainly find more purchase. Comparatively, almost nobody is sympathetic to cannabis addiction. Many will mock you for even believing such a thing exists, but five years after quitting it still strains my willpower. Finding somebody who earnestly believes alcoholism doesn't exist is rare (typically you only hear it from hardcore alcoholics deep in denial.)

> No one has ever shamed me or even said anything about the fact that I had a glass or bottle of water instead of a drink. That's nice for you, but based on the article it's clearly not universal.

andonisus 8y ago

Even if someone were to shame you, what's to stop you from ignoring them? So what if other people have opinions about your behavior; just acknowledge them and move on.

ablation 8y ago
I'm not sure the shaming or even the people is the biggest issue with alcoholism and the issues raised in the article. It's more the almost overwhelming temptation - the need, even - to consume alcohol. It's not an issue I face, as I'm not an alcoholic, but I'm sympathetic to those who do suffer from this disease and face a less than equal footing in their professional lives as a result. I don't have a solution for the problem.
PhasmaFelis 8y ago
These are important networking events, as the article mentions. Making a bad impression could potentially impact your career. (Aside from the fact that humans are social animals wired to experience discomfort when snubbed. "Grow a thicker skin" is sometimes necessary, but it shouldn't have to be the default.)

nostrebored 8y ago

If as an academic you can't handle joking criticism, you've chosen the wrong field.

PhasmaFelis 8y ago
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18885333 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18885333 And, again, this is about industry networking opportunities. It's not just social awkwardness at stake.
- nostrebored 8y ago
  Drink virgin drinks. I go through frequent periods of not drinking that don't inhibit me from going to bars or going on business lunches. It doesn't escape me that these people are women. My wife has had similar experience in literally every other opt in social activity in our field. Have you considered that maybe it's not a hazard of not drinking, but rather a consequence of being a woman in a professional world that is hostile to them?
  - PhasmaFelis 8y ago
    I would be rather surprised if women didn't get more stick for teetotaling than men do. I'm not sure why you think that's a refutation of anything.

darkpuma 8y ago

Shame them for shaming you. Considering the majority of people in this world are sympathetic to the problems of alcoholism, your shaming will almost certainly find more purchase. Comparatively, almost nobody is sympathetic to cannabis addiction. Many will mock you for even believing such a thing exists, but five years after quitting it still strains my willpower. Finding somebody who earnestly believes alcoholism doesn't exist is rare (typically you only hear it from hardcore alcoholics deep in denial.)