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> He felt we were interfering with his solution to his problem, not helping him. He was too young to understand the cause and effect relationship, and the way t
by n4r9 8y ago
> He felt we were interfering with his solution to his problem, not helping him. He was too young to understand the cause and effect relationship, and the way the adults around him had handled it just ensured that he would never come to us to ask for help with his real problem.
This passage really resonated with me. I fall into the same cognitive trap as that kid on a fairly regular basis. It happened between me and my parents until well after I left home, and it still happens between me and my wife and close friends. I've been aware of it for a while but have never seen it so clearly articulated. This has motivated me to redouble my efforts to take a more mature approach internally.
- api 8y agoI feel like the same phenomenon sometimes happens with adults at the scale of civil society. People start doing strange things like believing silly "alternative" conspiracy theories, withdrawing from society into online alternate realties, etc., and instead of trying to communicate and figure out why we just insult them and call them stupid and crazy. Humans are not perfectly rational and they are not always able to even understand let alone communicate their problems or motives. This is especially true if they're under stress or suffering from mental illness, addiction, or abuse.