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> "It might be interesting to collate a compendium of strange child behaviors with simple explanations, and other problems to watch out for." I couldn't disagr

by warent 8y ago

> "It might be interesting to collate a compendium of strange child behaviors with simple explanations, and other problems to watch out for." I couldn't disagree more. This seems like a step in the wrong direction. The last thing we need to do is label even more human behaviors than we already do into the bucket of "strange." Actually, even saying that parents need to "debug" these problems may be going too far. Humans are much more complicated than a machine that must work "just so."

Faark 8y ago
> The last thing we need to do is label even more human behaviors than we already do into the bucket of "strange." I couldn't disagree more. Having had a proper manual for my human body would have been amazing. I had a less intense but somewhat similar issue to OP's child. I was licking my lips and therefor got bullied for using "lipstick". Both stopped only after on one of those occasions a kid in their mentioned licking can cause it, while i pretended to ignore them. I'm quite thankful to him and wish i could help others just like that. Another is being lactose-intolerant. No idea when I became that, must have happened quite late. But it took me embarrassingly long (mid twenties) to figure out, change my diet and thus get rid of those messy bowel movements. I see little value in not having those kind of knowledge available and instead having to find out yourself. And parenting would hardly be possible without understanding your child's behavior. If you have a problem with calling it "strange" or "debug", I'm fine with calling it something else. But i doub't many here care about (those) labels.
- gugagore 8y ago
  I don't believe you replied to the spirit of the parent comment, since having red lips, and having messy bowel movements are not human behaviors, but are symptoms. I bet what the parent has in mind is, for example, behaviors such as stimming.
  - pbhjpbhj 8y ago
    Stimming = self-stimulating. I didn't know that word (but knew the sorts of [repititive] behaviours -- like rocking, hand waving -- as an indicator for ASD.
JoBrad 8y ago
Humans are definitely more complex than machines. But that complexity often causes people to jump to incorrect assumptions, or even just shut down in the face of that complexity. Breaking the problem down into what you know and then solving for what you don’t is an incredibly helpful method for addressing issues that can be fraught with emotion.
bitexploder 8y ago
Yet, many human behaviors are simple cause and effect. You don’t have to label it and the random things kids do would end up quite extensive. However, there is a definite need for parents to understand and help kids with detrimental behaviors. It is possible to do this without pressuring kids. When you are staring down a behavior like the author was and you have reached your capacity as a parent it can be very demoralizing. So, safe to say, parents need a “debugging” skill and human consciousness, especially at younger ages, while very vivid and complex, is also shockingly simple. Cause, effect, response from kid. Dry air, hands dry;hurt, make them not dry. I could go on, but, I think the spirit of the idea is correct. At times you just need to detach and analyze to help your kids out. Other times being organic and experimenting are great.
PhasmaFelis 8y ago
I think it's a fallacy that labeling and categorizing automatically implies judgment and condemnation. Some weird child behaviors are harmless and should be ignored; some (like the one in the article!) may indicate actual problems that should be addressed. Either way, it doesn't seem obviously bad to give parents diagnostic information.
sriram_sun 8y ago
We already apply this technique to medical issues. Currently if we Google around we will find the answer if the symptom is common enough. A "WebMD" for a range children's behavior seems to be what OP is getting yet. Not such a bad idea. However, I agree that labelling them and treating them as a "disease" is going overboard.
manmal 8y ago
I think you misunderstood GP. Knowing the cause of a previously "strange" behavior makes it relatable and discussable. Being able to explain a behavior is beneficial even to kids themselves, because it allows the kid introspection, and, ultimately, a chance to disarm triggers that lead to the behavior. This gives a bit of control back to the kid, as she no longer has to rely on adults to tell her off.
cryptonector 8y ago
Who said anything about labeling anything??

by warent 8y ago

Faark 8y ago

> The last thing we need to do is label even more human behaviors than we already do into the bucket of "strange." I couldn't disagree more. Having had a proper manual for my human body would have been amazing. I had a less intense but somewhat similar issue to OP's child. I was licking my lips and therefor got bullied for using "lipstick". Both stopped only after on one of those occasions a kid in their mentioned licking can cause it, while i pretended to ignore them. I'm quite thankful to him and wish i could help others just like that. Another is being lactose-intolerant. No idea when I became that, must have happened quite late. But it took me embarrassingly long (mid twenties) to figure out, change my diet and thus get rid of those messy bowel movements. I see little value in not having those kind of knowledge available and instead having to find out yourself. And parenting would hardly be possible without understanding your child's behavior. If you have a problem with calling it "strange" or "debug", I'm fine with calling it something else. But i doub't many here care about (those) labels.

gugagore 8y ago
I don't believe you replied to the spirit of the parent comment, since having red lips, and having messy bowel movements are not human behaviors, but are symptoms. I bet what the parent has in mind is, for example, behaviors such as stimming.
- pbhjpbhj 8y ago
  Stimming = self-stimulating. I didn't know that word (but knew the sorts of [repititive] behaviours -- like rocking, hand waving -- as an indicator for ASD.

JoBrad 8y ago

Humans are definitely more complex than machines. But that complexity often causes people to jump to incorrect assumptions, or even just shut down in the face of that complexity. Breaking the problem down into what you know and then solving for what you don’t is an incredibly helpful method for addressing issues that can be fraught with emotion.

bitexploder 8y ago

Yet, many human behaviors are simple cause and effect. You don’t have to label it and the random things kids do would end up quite extensive. However, there is a definite need for parents to understand and help kids with detrimental behaviors. It is possible to do this without pressuring kids. When you are staring down a behavior like the author was and you have reached your capacity as a parent it can be very demoralizing. So, safe to say, parents need a “debugging” skill and human consciousness, especially at younger ages, while very vivid and complex, is also shockingly simple. Cause, effect, response from kid. Dry air, hands dry;hurt, make them not dry. I could go on, but, I think the spirit of the idea is correct. At times you just need to detach and analyze to help your kids out. Other times being organic and experimenting are great.

PhasmaFelis 8y ago

I think it's a fallacy that labeling and categorizing automatically implies judgment and condemnation. Some weird child behaviors are harmless and should be ignored; some (like the one in the article!) may indicate actual problems that should be addressed. Either way, it doesn't seem obviously bad to give parents diagnostic information.

sriram_sun 8y ago

We already apply this technique to medical issues. Currently if we Google around we will find the answer if the symptom is common enough. A "WebMD" for a range children's behavior seems to be what OP is getting yet. Not such a bad idea. However, I agree that labelling them and treating them as a "disease" is going overboard.

manmal 8y ago

I think you misunderstood GP. Knowing the cause of a previously "strange" behavior makes it relatable and discussable. Being able to explain a behavior is beneficial even to kids themselves, because it allows the kid introspection, and, ultimately, a chance to disarm triggers that lead to the behavior. This gives a bit of control back to the kid, as she no longer has to rely on adults to tell her off.

cryptonector 8y ago

Who said anything about labeling anything??