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As someone that has been married for 16 years (and not looking for someone for considerably longer than that) this sounds like a giant leap for mankind. A marke

As someone that has been married for 16 years (and not looking for someone for considerably longer than that) this sounds like a giant leap for mankind. A market of other people who signal that they are also looking, but whom you are unlikely to ever interact with again if it doesn't work out.

village-idiot 8y ago
I’m in the opposite corner. Watching my single acquaintances try and fail with dating apps is kind of depressing.
- nradov 8y ago
  Why do you think they're failing?
  - LoSboccacc 8y ago
    Dunno about op but can tell what I see here: dating on tinder has become kinda an online shopping experience with a convenient return policy included. That's to say I see people just so focused to look for a prefer match that they forgot what a relationship and growing tougher is. There's far too romanticism and unrealistic expectations involved and too little effort and commitment put into it. Hard to quantify and pinpoint the issue exactly, but in general looking for that one love seems the issue.
  - village-idiot 8y ago
    I can only speak for the male side, since said acquaintances are male. Men almost never get matched back. Even moderate to moderate good looking men in stable careers get matched back ~10% of the time, and get fewer dates still.
    - ryandrake 8y ago
      If the number is as high as 10%, then they just need this automatic right-swiping device [1]. At 10% they wouldn't even need to run it overnight. 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaoDfOaYF4w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaoDfOaYF4w
      - pseudalopex 8y ago
        Users report that swiping right too often decreases your swipe limit and how often other users see your profile.
        village-idiot 8y ago
        Makes sense, they’d want to dissuade this exact behavior.
watwut 8y ago
Crucialy, you don't interact with them before attempting to date either. So the pre-selection one normally does, the one based on observing how the other person interacts with others when not trying to impress, is not available. I think I would expect more "did not worked out" outcomes without that pre-selection. I mean, that preselction is way more important when looking for potential long term partner and closer to how you will be treated then dating which is sort of artificial situation.
theoh 8y ago
Anecdotal evidence from smaller markets (city of just a million or so) is that online dating doesn't work, and you certainly can't be sure of not running into people again. Your comment evokes something like a tuple space, where people are essentially querying a database by uploading their dating profile. Tinder's "architecture", whereby only mutual matches are informed, is a bit like that in principle. In practice it means there is no way to message someone who hasn't matched with you, whether because they are not actively looking through matches or some other reason: there is no way for contact to be initiated unilaterally. This is a big change in the dynamics of the dating situation. I'd almost prefer a professional matchmaking service to the kind of "shadow labour" that's involved in swiping through Tinder profiles—particularly because of this problem of matches being, as it were, a passive/uncoordinated rather than active/coordinated phenomenon. Unfortunately, Tinder's interface encourages very superficial judgements based on appearance, and the way you are required to "flirt" by text with people you haven't met is absolutely a bad thing.
hopler 8y ago
That's a recipe for the destruction of society. It's a good thing that people development a reputation visible to would-be mates.

village-idiot 8y ago

I’m in the opposite corner. Watching my single acquaintances try and fail with dating apps is kind of depressing.

nradov 8y ago
Why do you think they're failing?
- LoSboccacc 8y ago
  Dunno about op but can tell what I see here: dating on tinder has become kinda an online shopping experience with a convenient return policy included. That's to say I see people just so focused to look for a prefer match that they forgot what a relationship and growing tougher is. There's far too romanticism and unrealistic expectations involved and too little effort and commitment put into it. Hard to quantify and pinpoint the issue exactly, but in general looking for that one love seems the issue.
- village-idiot 8y ago
  I can only speak for the male side, since said acquaintances are male. Men almost never get matched back. Even moderate to moderate good looking men in stable careers get matched back ~10% of the time, and get fewer dates still.
  - ryandrake 8y ago
    If the number is as high as 10%, then they just need this automatic right-swiping device [1]. At 10% they wouldn't even need to run it overnight. 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaoDfOaYF4w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaoDfOaYF4w
    - pseudalopex 8y ago
      Users report that swiping right too often decreases your swipe limit and how often other users see your profile.
      - village-idiot 8y ago
        Makes sense, they’d want to dissuade this exact behavior.

watwut 8y ago

Crucialy, you don't interact with them before attempting to date either. So the pre-selection one normally does, the one based on observing how the other person interacts with others when not trying to impress, is not available. I think I would expect more "did not worked out" outcomes without that pre-selection. I mean, that preselction is way more important when looking for potential long term partner and closer to how you will be treated then dating which is sort of artificial situation.

theoh 8y ago

Anecdotal evidence from smaller markets (city of just a million or so) is that online dating doesn't work, and you certainly can't be sure of not running into people again. Your comment evokes something like a tuple space, where people are essentially querying a database by uploading their dating profile. Tinder's "architecture", whereby only mutual matches are informed, is a bit like that in principle. In practice it means there is no way to message someone who hasn't matched with you, whether because they are not actively looking through matches or some other reason: there is no way for contact to be initiated unilaterally. This is a big change in the dynamics of the dating situation. I'd almost prefer a professional matchmaking service to the kind of "shadow labour" that's involved in swiping through Tinder profiles—particularly because of this problem of matches being, as it were, a passive/uncoordinated rather than active/coordinated phenomenon. Unfortunately, Tinder's interface encourages very superficial judgements based on appearance, and the way you are required to "flirt" by text with people you haven't met is absolutely a bad thing.

hopler 8y ago

That's a recipe for the destruction of society. It's a good thing that people development a reputation visible to would-be mates.