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While I agree with your general desire to teach/learn leadership, I don't think true Leadership can be codified as easily as other skills/qualities can. As Sieb

While I agree with your general desire to teach/learn leadership, I don't think true Leadership can be codified as easily as other skills/qualities can. As Siebel says at the end of the interview, the single biggest trait he looks for in a good leader is communication. How do you teach good communication? Is the combination of empathy, wit, general+specific knowledge, active listening, etc etc something you can really teach someone so they communicate better? I'd argue these traits, if teachable at all, are developed at a young age. I've frankly never seen an adult evolve from a bad communicator to a good one. And that's just one quality of a good leader. Now try to codify, much less teach, something like charisma. Or likeability. These things, while nebulous, are definitely part of the leadership equation. This becomes even more complicated in a tech setting, where the 0s and 1s of computers clash fundamentally with the nuanced requisites of a good leader. They're not mutually exclusive, of course, but what we're talking about now is a true left brain/right brain individual with a healthy dose of X factor that makes him/her someone that developers, sales folk, and office managers alike trust and get behind. I wish I were wrong. I wish you could teach these things, but I really don't think you can. Otherwise we'd be living in a much different world.

munchbunny 8y ago
How do you teach good communication? Is the combination of empathy, wit, general+specific knowledge, active listening, etc etc something you can really teach someone so they communicate better? I'd argue these traits, if teachable at all, are developed at a young age. They are definitely teachable. I had to learn them. I won't say I'm great at it, but there was a drastic difference between my effectiveness as a leader early on vs. later on. Just like technical acumen, you have to start with building low level muscles, and then you build on top of that to develop increasingly complex, integrated skills. Here's an example breakdown of how to build communication skills from a set of low level skills. I've seen adults (including engineers) improve dramatically with direction and practice: 1. Learning to tell when you are getting angry and building the habit of stepping away instead of escalating 2. Learning to tell when you are reacting in the moment vs. analyzing, and practicing the habit of moving to analysis during tense conversations 3. Learning to stop automatically attributing bad motives to things other people say that you dislike 4. Learning the formula for conflict handling: (1) acknowledging their point, (2) repeating it back with a charitable interpretation, then (3) responding with your point 5. Learning to make exploratory statements and ask questions to establish common understanding 6. Learning to identify and not make overconfident/dismissive/glib statements
- jakegarelick 8y ago
  I really enjoy your comments. Would you be open to me reaching out to you? My email is also in my profile, if that’s easier.
  - munchbunny 8y ago
    Sure, I'll send you an email.
- rorykoehler 8y ago
  I think I've reached acceptable level in all 6 categories however I definitely feel my communication skills could improve drastically.
  - munchbunny 8y ago
    Oh for sure there's much more after that, but I wanted to show that you can actually break down soft skills into teachable pieces.
    - rorykoehler 8y ago
      Ah gotcha. I think the one skill that makes the difference is being able to communicate more with less words. Essentially mastering the elevator pitch technique.
- matwood 8y ago
  One is so critical for people. Stepping back, even something as simple as just pushing away from the table, can help you see the situation in a clearer light. Many of the rest can be summed as check your ego, and be humble. Check out Jocko Willinks podcast sometime if you're into leadership. He talks about all of these things using examples from his life when he led Navy Seal teams.
mr-ron 8y ago
I think the book How to Win Friends and Influence People can go a very long way to teaching people communication skills.
nf05papsjfVbc 8y ago
In the spirit of the comment with the quote which includes this part: "teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea", I think a lot of what you suggest can be learnt if one adopts a different mindset while communicating. I learnt a lot just by consciously practicing "what set of assumptions or circumstances would make this person's statements correct/valid" instead of "let me see how I can explain to this person that s/he is wrong". Even if the other person is holding on to a position which is objectively incorrect, it makes it much easier to see how s/he came to that position. Anyway, the gist of what I'm trying to say is that without a change in mindset, there is no motivation to function in a different manner. So, it might appear that some people will always work in a certain way but I think if they are motivated to change, then it's not really an extraordinary thing for them to undergo a notable transformation.

munchbunny 8y ago

How do you teach good communication? Is the combination of empathy, wit, general+specific knowledge, active listening, etc etc something you can really teach someone so they communicate better? I'd argue these traits, if teachable at all, are developed at a young age. They are definitely teachable. I had to learn them. I won't say I'm great at it, but there was a drastic difference between my effectiveness as a leader early on vs. later on. Just like technical acumen, you have to start with building low level muscles, and then you build on top of that to develop increasingly complex, integrated skills. Here's an example breakdown of how to build communication skills from a set of low level skills. I've seen adults (including engineers) improve dramatically with direction and practice: 1. Learning to tell when you are getting angry and building the habit of stepping away instead of escalating 2. Learning to tell when you are reacting in the moment vs. analyzing, and practicing the habit of moving to analysis during tense conversations 3. Learning to stop automatically attributing bad motives to things other people say that you dislike 4. Learning the formula for conflict handling: (1) acknowledging their point, (2) repeating it back with a charitable interpretation, then (3) responding with your point 5. Learning to make exploratory statements and ask questions to establish common understanding 6. Learning to identify and not make overconfident/dismissive/glib statements

jakegarelick 8y ago
I really enjoy your comments. Would you be open to me reaching out to you? My email is also in my profile, if that’s easier.
- munchbunny 8y ago
  Sure, I'll send you an email.
rorykoehler 8y ago
I think I've reached acceptable level in all 6 categories however I definitely feel my communication skills could improve drastically.
- munchbunny 8y ago
  Oh for sure there's much more after that, but I wanted to show that you can actually break down soft skills into teachable pieces.
  - rorykoehler 8y ago
    Ah gotcha. I think the one skill that makes the difference is being able to communicate more with less words. Essentially mastering the elevator pitch technique.
matwood 8y ago
One is so critical for people. Stepping back, even something as simple as just pushing away from the table, can help you see the situation in a clearer light. Many of the rest can be summed as check your ego, and be humble. Check out Jocko Willinks podcast sometime if you're into leadership. He talks about all of these things using examples from his life when he led Navy Seal teams.

mr-ron 8y ago

I think the book How to Win Friends and Influence People can go a very long way to teaching people communication skills.

nf05papsjfVbc 8y ago

In the spirit of the comment with the quote which includes this part: "teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea", I think a lot of what you suggest can be learnt if one adopts a different mindset while communicating. I learnt a lot just by consciously practicing "what set of assumptions or circumstances would make this person's statements correct/valid" instead of "let me see how I can explain to this person that s/he is wrong". Even if the other person is holding on to a position which is objectively incorrect, it makes it much easier to see how s/he came to that position. Anyway, the gist of what I'm trying to say is that without a change in mindset, there is no motivation to function in a different manner. So, it might appear that some people will always work in a certain way but I think if they are motivated to change, then it's not really an extraordinary thing for them to undergo a notable transformation.