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0) Keeping one's mouth shut. Trying to not have an opinion until a) having enough information b) only voicing it if it is important. I am trying to spend more t

0) Keeping one's mouth shut. Trying to not have an opinion until a) having enough information b) only voicing it if it is important. I am trying to spend more time perceiving instead of broadcasting.

nugator 8y ago
Amen to that! I often end up in discussions and decision making at work were I haven't even scratched the surface with my knowledge of the problem. Trying to listen and absorb as much information from the people that know most about the problem is my way of trying to quickly be able to make a decision (if that's needed).
- nerpderp82 8y ago
  Agreed. And the harder aspect of this is to actively listen to all parties at the same time holding the questions in my mind and allowing time in the discussion for them to get answered. Notes really help here. Watch women and men in a meeting, men will talk over people, interject wisdoms, either comments or questions. While women will sit back and let the questions get answered, and then when enough time will go by will ask the unaswered questions. One of the hardest things for a group to do is leave enough dead air so that others can speak, esp over remote connections.
agumonkey 8y ago
unless you try to tap into xkcd effect if you see what I mean "precher le faux" as they say in France
ruytlm 8y ago
Per Baltasar Gracian: "The greatest form of knowledge is, on occasion, not to know, or to affect not to know."
Retra 8y ago
A corollary: if something is true, but not relevant, then why should anybody care if it is true? Know when you're putting your efforts into things that can't pay off.
tootie 8y ago
You should avoid voicing a judgment, but you can certainly air your thoughts and opinions as they arise. Just be open to being convinced.
- m-localhost 8y ago
  exactly. if everyone is just in "absorbing" mode, who to listen to.
sizzle 8y ago
I do this too and it works great in personal contexts cause people love sharing their opinions and hearing themselves talk generally speaking. This is in stark contrast to the workplace where I've experienced that keeping my mouth shut in a meeting to gather my thoughts before contributing a well informed opinion, the loudest person in the room has already spoken a handful of times and left their mark and then continues to speak over people and dominate the conversation for better or worse (usually the latter unless they are a SME). I'm then forced to revert to speaking ASAP to get a word in so I don't walk away from a meeting being perceived as contributing little cause I was getting enough words. Maybe it's all in my head cause I'm an introvert and meetings drain my energy. Anyone else experience this? Got any tips?
- tome 8y ago
  (SME = Subject Matter Expert, presumably)
  - sizzle 8y ago
    Yeah that's it, I'll spell it out next time for those who don't know.
- barrystaes 8y ago
  > Anyone else experience this? Got any tips? Sometimes. Some things i do to ensure correct question-answer contexts: - When in a meeting with (loud person pushing) wrong answers, ask the right questions. - People dont understand the answer if they dont understand the question. - Use the above to give the obvious correct solution within their context.
arendtio 8y ago
Listening is an important skill. To avoid being perceived as passive or absent, "active listening" [1] can be helpful. Just remember that you are communicating via a shared medium (half-duplex) so sending should be kept to the necessary minimum ;-) [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening

0) Keeping one's mouth shut. Trying to not have an opinion until a) having enough information b) only voicing it if it is important. I am trying to spend more time perceiving instead of broadcasting.

nugator 8y ago

Amen to that! I often end up in discussions and decision making at work were I haven't even scratched the surface with my knowledge of the problem. Trying to listen and absorb as much information from the people that know most about the problem is my way of trying to quickly be able to make a decision (if that's needed).

nerpderp82 8y ago
Agreed. And the harder aspect of this is to actively listen to all parties at the same time holding the questions in my mind and allowing time in the discussion for them to get answered. Notes really help here. Watch women and men in a meeting, men will talk over people, interject wisdoms, either comments or questions. While women will sit back and let the questions get answered, and then when enough time will go by will ask the unaswered questions. One of the hardest things for a group to do is leave enough dead air so that others can speak, esp over remote connections.

agumonkey 8y ago

unless you try to tap into xkcd effect if you see what I mean "precher le faux" as they say in France

ruytlm 8y ago

Per Baltasar Gracian: "The greatest form of knowledge is, on occasion, not to know, or to affect not to know."

Retra 8y ago

A corollary: if something is true, but not relevant, then why should anybody care if it is true? Know when you're putting your efforts into things that can't pay off.

tootie 8y ago

You should avoid voicing a judgment, but you can certainly air your thoughts and opinions as they arise. Just be open to being convinced.

m-localhost 8y ago
exactly. if everyone is just in "absorbing" mode, who to listen to.

sizzle 8y ago

I do this too and it works great in personal contexts cause people love sharing their opinions and hearing themselves talk generally speaking. This is in stark contrast to the workplace where I've experienced that keeping my mouth shut in a meeting to gather my thoughts before contributing a well informed opinion, the loudest person in the room has already spoken a handful of times and left their mark and then continues to speak over people and dominate the conversation for better or worse (usually the latter unless they are a SME). I'm then forced to revert to speaking ASAP to get a word in so I don't walk away from a meeting being perceived as contributing little cause I was getting enough words. Maybe it's all in my head cause I'm an introvert and meetings drain my energy. Anyone else experience this? Got any tips?

tome 8y ago
(SME = Subject Matter Expert, presumably)
- sizzle 8y ago
  Yeah that's it, I'll spell it out next time for those who don't know.
barrystaes 8y ago
> Anyone else experience this? Got any tips? Sometimes. Some things i do to ensure correct question-answer contexts: - When in a meeting with (loud person pushing) wrong answers, ask the right questions. - People dont understand the answer if they dont understand the question. - Use the above to give the obvious correct solution within their context.

arendtio 8y ago

Listening is an important skill. To avoid being perceived as passive or absent, "active listening" [1] can be helpful. Just remember that you are communicating via a shared medium (half-duplex) so sending should be kept to the necessary minimum ;-) [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening