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My hacks: * Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. * Expectations: don't care about the

My hacks: * Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. * Expectations: don't care about the outcome of your work, as long as you tried to put a lot of good efforts into it. Focus on trying to do the thing instead of focusing on the result it will have, or what people will think. * Stress: instead of being preoccupied about things, try to take care of them. During stressful situations, enjoy the small things of life, like eating or drinking a glass of wine, or playing with your daughter. * Socialization: let your inner person go out in every occasion in order to immediately push away people that don't like you. Never try to fake being different (compared to what you are). This way you don't have any filter, which is great, nor you have any doubt about people staying around having different expectations. * Life: it's too short to hang out with people you don't like or doing activities you don't like. Focus on what you want.

lcfcjs2 8y ago
I like the idea of this: Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. But a bit confused on the "measurable" piece, if you write code, make a new feature or fix a bug, how can it be measurable?
- mongol 8y ago
  It is measurable in that you can show it and somehow "count" it. Compare with a day if you just discussed back and forth what you should do or how to do it. If there is nothing concrete to show for it, it is not measurable. At least take notes in that case.
drpgq 8y ago
I found for my PhD thesis that getting one thing done a day even if small was a big help, along with not beating yourself up if you didn’t get a lot done.
- frob 8y ago
  100% agree. I had a rule that I needed to write at least 1 page a day. 1 page sometimes became 10, but it always started with 1.
chess44 8y ago
What if I don't want to be who I am and I want to change myself? Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.
- antirez 8y ago
  Well there were and still are many things I don't like about myself and I tried to change myself over time.
- gnulinux 8y ago
  I had the same problem for about 20 years of my life until I decided being alone is actually ok if you're ok with it. Have realistic expectations of yourself. If you can't stand people, then just don't. This doesn't mean you have to isolate yourself. You can still work, and if you find the right person, you can have one or two friends.
- alan_wade 8y ago
  Replace "being yourself" with "being your best self". You can still try to improve according to your own values, but don't change who you are just to please others. Being your best self has nothing to do with socializing by the way, hopefully you would be doing that even if you were alone in your room.
- RickS 8y ago
  The other reply about "best self" is apt. It is perfectly reasonable, and at times even necessary, to not want to be yourself. For example, if the OP advice of "let your inner person go out in every occasion in order to immediately push away people that don't like you" leads to a bunch of mean shit that alienates women, that's probably a thing worth changing. The advice in that sentence is more for people who have fears like "I don't want to talk about my hobbies because I'm scared people won't respect me". All advice isn't right for all people, here's one of my favorite articles about that: http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery-debates/ http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery... My advice is to examine why you don't want to be yourself: if you're living in a way that's incongruent with your values, or values that you want to have because you believe they would make your life and the world genuinely better, then yeah, start making changes in pursuit of those values. If people are treating you badly for ways that you are, and, were you not being mistreated, you'd be okay staying the way you are? And nobody claims to be harmed by the way you are (highly unlikely, from the sound of it)? Stay you. Find new people. It is crazy how varied, and how sandboxed, groups of people are. The subculture switching cost is very nearly zero, and you'll never bump into the last batch once you make the jump. Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat, it's in my profile.
wwarner 8y ago
Really sharp. Will you please by my guru?
paulvorobyev 8y ago
I don't necessarily agree with your expectations bullet point. I feel that human beings are inherently focused on results/value. Instead of not caring about the result, I consider what the result is (or what it could be). In a less roundabout way -- I am always thinking about what I am getting out of the current moment. Be it measurable impact or some sort of insight/learning. That way, even the most abject failures have value to me.

lcfcjs2 8y ago

I like the idea of this: Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. But a bit confused on the "measurable" piece, if you write code, make a new feature or fix a bug, how can it be measurable?

mongol 8y ago
It is measurable in that you can show it and somehow "count" it. Compare with a day if you just discussed back and forth what you should do or how to do it. If there is nothing concrete to show for it, it is not measurable. At least take notes in that case.

drpgq 8y ago

I found for my PhD thesis that getting one thing done a day even if small was a big help, along with not beating yourself up if you didn’t get a lot done.

frob 8y ago
100% agree. I had a rule that I needed to write at least 1 page a day. 1 page sometimes became 10, but it always started with 1.

chess44 8y ago

What if I don't want to be who I am and I want to change myself? Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.

antirez 8y ago
Well there were and still are many things I don't like about myself and I tried to change myself over time.
gnulinux 8y ago
I had the same problem for about 20 years of my life until I decided being alone is actually ok if you're ok with it. Have realistic expectations of yourself. If you can't stand people, then just don't. This doesn't mean you have to isolate yourself. You can still work, and if you find the right person, you can have one or two friends.
alan_wade 8y ago
Replace "being yourself" with "being your best self". You can still try to improve according to your own values, but don't change who you are just to please others. Being your best self has nothing to do with socializing by the way, hopefully you would be doing that even if you were alone in your room.
RickS 8y ago
The other reply about "best self" is apt. It is perfectly reasonable, and at times even necessary, to not want to be yourself. For example, if the OP advice of "let your inner person go out in every occasion in order to immediately push away people that don't like you" leads to a bunch of mean shit that alienates women, that's probably a thing worth changing. The advice in that sentence is more for people who have fears like "I don't want to talk about my hobbies because I'm scared people won't respect me". All advice isn't right for all people, here's one of my favorite articles about that: http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery-debates/ http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery... My advice is to examine why you don't want to be yourself: if you're living in a way that's incongruent with your values, or values that you want to have because you believe they would make your life and the world genuinely better, then yeah, start making changes in pursuit of those values. If people are treating you badly for ways that you are, and, were you not being mistreated, you'd be okay staying the way you are? And nobody claims to be harmed by the way you are (highly unlikely, from the sound of it)? Stay you. Find new people. It is crazy how varied, and how sandboxed, groups of people are. The subculture switching cost is very nearly zero, and you'll never bump into the last batch once you make the jump. Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat, it's in my profile.

wwarner 8y ago

Really sharp. Will you please by my guru?

paulvorobyev 8y ago

I don't necessarily agree with your expectations bullet point. I feel that human beings are inherently focused on results/value. Instead of not caring about the result, I consider what the result is (or what it could be). In a less roundabout way -- I am always thinking about what I am getting out of the current moment. Be it measurable impact or some sort of insight/learning. That way, even the most abject failures have value to me.