7 ms·

This is becoming a common thread these days; assuming the male is the aggressor. I've heard stories of girlfriends beating their boyfriend so bad as to have hi

This is becoming a common thread these days; assuming the male is the aggressor. I've heard stories of girlfriends beating their boyfriend so bad as to have him visibly bleeding, yet when the he calls 911, he is the one that gets arrested with the police saying something along the lines of, "Yeah, there's no way a little girl like that beat you up." I would venture to guess that the majority of domestic violence is male against female, but we have to start recognizing and allowing for the fact that it happens the other way around more often than we might be willing to think.

dexen 8y ago
The police doesn't have much of discretion on the subject according to common training material. Consider the following points selected from Stop Violence Against Women website[1]: To determine the predominant aggressor, police must consider: The seriousness of injuries received by each party The height and weight of the parties Which party has the potential to seriously injure the other party Orders for protection that have been filed by a party Whether a party has a fearful demeanor Whether a party has a controlling demeanor -- [1] http://www.stopvaw.org/determining_the_predominant_aggressor http://www.stopvaw.org/determining_the_predominant_aggressor
wallace_f 8y ago
Apparently abusive mothers are more common than abusive fathers: https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/kids/why-arent-we-talking-about-abusive-mums/news-story/629b48b93abd22be2b63f1344c0c5de6 https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/kids/why-arent-w...
sheepmullet 8y ago
> I would venture to guess that the majority of domestic violence is male against female Why? The data suggests it’s close to 50-50.
- Zelphyr 8y ago
  Really? Wow. I didn't realize that. Are there good sources for this kind of information you can refer me to?
  - balls187 8y ago
    "Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively)." More numbers here: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/
  - tomp 8y ago
    Abusers are about equally men and women. A surprisingly large percentage of those partners are mutually abusive (I forgot if it's more like 25% or more like 50% but both are high IMO). Men hurt women more because men are, duh, stronger.
    - balls187 8y ago
      In an abusive relationship, there is always a dominant abuser.
balls187 8y ago
Only 15% of men who are abused ever report it. There is also more to DV than just physical violence. https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/ https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/
placeholderNam 8y ago
I can't find the source right now, but I've read the male victims of DV are more likely to be arrested themselves when the call the police on the female perpetrator.
derangedHorse 8y ago
In Kevin Hart's audiobook he talks about how his ex-wife beat him until he was visibly damaged. When he called the cops the first thing they did was ask his ex-wife "Is everything ok?" Keep in mind, Kevin was the one who called the cops!

dexen 8y ago

The police doesn't have much of discretion on the subject according to common training material. Consider the following points selected from Stop Violence Against Women website[1]: To determine the predominant aggressor, police must consider: The seriousness of injuries received by each party The height and weight of the parties Which party has the potential to seriously injure the other party Orders for protection that have been filed by a party Whether a party has a fearful demeanor Whether a party has a controlling demeanor -- [1] http://www.stopvaw.org/determining_the_predominant_aggressor http://www.stopvaw.org/determining_the_predominant_aggressor

wallace_f 8y ago

Apparently abusive mothers are more common than abusive fathers: https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/kids/why-arent-we-talking-about-abusive-mums/news-story/629b48b93abd22be2b63f1344c0c5de6 https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/kids/why-arent-w...

sheepmullet 8y ago

> I would venture to guess that the majority of domestic violence is male against female Why? The data suggests it’s close to 50-50.

Zelphyr 8y ago
Really? Wow. I didn't realize that. Are there good sources for this kind of information you can refer me to?
- balls187 8y ago
  "Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively)." More numbers here: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/
- tomp 8y ago
  Abusers are about equally men and women. A surprisingly large percentage of those partners are mutually abusive (I forgot if it's more like 25% or more like 50% but both are high IMO). Men hurt women more because men are, duh, stronger.
  - balls187 8y ago
    In an abusive relationship, there is always a dominant abuser.

balls187 8y ago

Only 15% of men who are abused ever report it. There is also more to DV than just physical violence. https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/ https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

placeholderNam 8y ago

I can't find the source right now, but I've read the male victims of DV are more likely to be arrested themselves when the call the police on the female perpetrator.

derangedHorse 8y ago

In Kevin Hart's audiobook he talks about how his ex-wife beat him until he was visibly damaged. When he called the cops the first thing they did was ask his ex-wife "Is everything ok?" Keep in mind, Kevin was the one who called the cops!