4 ms·

> decades at a time I think we're seeing the result of the baby boomer generation, essentially. They rejected the old, as you put it -- stern way of parenting.

> decades at a time I think we're seeing the result of the baby boomer generation, essentially. They rejected the old, as you put it -- stern way of parenting. I'd argue, perhaps it wasn't so much stern as it was the structured. There was structure, expectations, and responsibilities. Things previous generates required to live. Since then, we've grown increasingly accustomed to insane amounts of wealth (or perhaps debt?). This enabled us to lax our expectations, because you didn't need to be super disciplined to make the wealth. The fact that we rebuffed the social norms has it's good and bad, unfortunately it does appear that we took it too far -- at least from a "you can do anything perspective". Yes, you can do anything, but you have to work to get there. It appears a lot of people forget that last part and feel entitled to their wealth / place in society.

api 8y ago
Social trends almost always overcorrect. I wouldn't be surprised if we overcorrect the other way in future generations, then back again, etc. People seem to have trouble with the idea that the optimum is not at an extreme.
- jmoss20 8y ago
  > "... the idea that the optimum is not an extreme." I'd put this as "not an extreme" /on any of the axes that we're considering/. Life has an awful lot of dimensions -- if you imagine a very high-dimensional hypercube and draw the optima randomly, the optima are almost guaranteed to be close to some surface (some "extreme"). To my eye, the real problem is finding the correct perspective -- the one at which an optimum lies at an extreme.
  - mismith 8y ago
    That’s a super deep comment; thanks for wording it so lucidly that I could connect my own thoughts on the matter to it
  - MRD85 8y ago
    >To my eye, the real problem is finding the correct perspective -- the one at which an optimum lies at an extreme. Something which has brought a lot of happiness to my life and dramatically changed the way I live is taking responsibility for my own happiness and life choices. I used to spin my wheels and drift through life but at 30 I was diagnosed with cancer. It's a long story and it turned out to not be serious, although I did have two surgeries. There was a time period where it seemed very serious, however, and this period completely changed how I view my own life. I didn't want to die with this sense of being so unfulfilled and I wished I had made better choices. Now I try to make these choices as I live.
    - pdimitar 8y ago
      I commend you for finding the way to live to the fullest. And I am envious. I have no impending doom looming above my head and I feel that this really makes me slow and feeling that I have time. I am 38 now and I am pretty aware that my time is ticking away. But there's always another crysis to salvage... I am trying my very best to crawl out of this hole but it's taking way too long. I feel I lack the very important perspective that you have but these things are profound epiphanies; you can't just talk somebody into having them. They are transformative experiences and the resulting change in you cannot be duplicated by just talking or reading others' stories... :(
      - MRD85 8y ago
        You definitely can't talk someone into having life-changing experiences. In the space of two years I went through: 1) Wife cheating on me 2) Divorce after a year of attempting to make it work 3) A clinically diagnosed major depressive episode (mainly brought on by the wife stuff but also some unresolved personal issues) 4) Cancer diagnosis These years were incredibly formative, despite happening at ~30 years of age. The years since have seen me take control of my own life in ways I would never have before. If I want something I find a way to make it work. One thing that helps me now is I don't worry about things. There is typically always a way out of a shit situation if you're willing to work for it. I don't know your personal situation but I recommend trying to be grateful for what you've got, set a 5-year plan for what you work and start doing the things you need to do for that 5-year plan (even if they're difficult and don't pay off for a long time). Treat your future self as someone to whom you're going to give a great gift.
- VLM 8y ago
  Demographic replacement in the sense of the original posts "American parents" vs "Immigrant parents" will put a natural damper on whatever oscillations "American parents" try to implement. The woman in the linked story will never have descendants to overcorrect.
- mar77i 8y ago
  Are you over-correcting towards a mean right there?
afarrell 8y ago
> There was structure, expectations, and responsibilities. jefftk makes this point in a reflection on raising his own child--that there is great value in providing an environment which is predictable: https://www.jefftk.com/p/how-to-parent-more-predictably https://www.jefftk.com/p/how-to-parent-more-predictably
kakarot 8y ago
[deleted]
- zorga 8y ago
  That's an anecdote, not data; boomers were the hippy generation, that doesn't mean all of them were hippies.

api 8y ago

Social trends almost always overcorrect. I wouldn't be surprised if we overcorrect the other way in future generations, then back again, etc. People seem to have trouble with the idea that the optimum is not at an extreme.

jmoss20 8y ago
> "... the idea that the optimum is not an extreme." I'd put this as "not an extreme" /on any of the axes that we're considering/. Life has an awful lot of dimensions -- if you imagine a very high-dimensional hypercube and draw the optima randomly, the optima are almost guaranteed to be close to some surface (some "extreme"). To my eye, the real problem is finding the correct perspective -- the one at which an optimum lies at an extreme.
- mismith 8y ago
  That’s a super deep comment; thanks for wording it so lucidly that I could connect my own thoughts on the matter to it
- MRD85 8y ago
  >To my eye, the real problem is finding the correct perspective -- the one at which an optimum lies at an extreme. Something which has brought a lot of happiness to my life and dramatically changed the way I live is taking responsibility for my own happiness and life choices. I used to spin my wheels and drift through life but at 30 I was diagnosed with cancer. It's a long story and it turned out to not be serious, although I did have two surgeries. There was a time period where it seemed very serious, however, and this period completely changed how I view my own life. I didn't want to die with this sense of being so unfulfilled and I wished I had made better choices. Now I try to make these choices as I live.
  - pdimitar 8y ago
    I commend you for finding the way to live to the fullest. And I am envious. I have no impending doom looming above my head and I feel that this really makes me slow and feeling that I have time. I am 38 now and I am pretty aware that my time is ticking away. But there's always another crysis to salvage... I am trying my very best to crawl out of this hole but it's taking way too long. I feel I lack the very important perspective that you have but these things are profound epiphanies; you can't just talk somebody into having them. They are transformative experiences and the resulting change in you cannot be duplicated by just talking or reading others' stories... :(
    - MRD85 8y ago
      You definitely can't talk someone into having life-changing experiences. In the space of two years I went through: 1) Wife cheating on me 2) Divorce after a year of attempting to make it work 3) A clinically diagnosed major depressive episode (mainly brought on by the wife stuff but also some unresolved personal issues) 4) Cancer diagnosis These years were incredibly formative, despite happening at ~30 years of age. The years since have seen me take control of my own life in ways I would never have before. If I want something I find a way to make it work. One thing that helps me now is I don't worry about things. There is typically always a way out of a shit situation if you're willing to work for it. I don't know your personal situation but I recommend trying to be grateful for what you've got, set a 5-year plan for what you work and start doing the things you need to do for that 5-year plan (even if they're difficult and don't pay off for a long time). Treat your future self as someone to whom you're going to give a great gift.
VLM 8y ago
Demographic replacement in the sense of the original posts "American parents" vs "Immigrant parents" will put a natural damper on whatever oscillations "American parents" try to implement. The woman in the linked story will never have descendants to overcorrect.
mar77i 8y ago
Are you over-correcting towards a mean right there?

afarrell 8y ago

> There was structure, expectations, and responsibilities. jefftk makes this point in a reflection on raising his own child--that there is great value in providing an environment which is predictable: https://www.jefftk.com/p/how-to-parent-more-predictably https://www.jefftk.com/p/how-to-parent-more-predictably

kakarot 8y ago

[deleted]

zorga 8y ago
That's an anecdote, not data; boomers were the hippy generation, that doesn't mean all of them were hippies.