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"... there’s a deeper reason, I’ve come to think, that so many people don’t have hobbies: We’re afraid of being bad at them. Or rather, we are intimidated by th

"... there’s a deeper reason, I’ve come to think, that so many people don’t have hobbies: We’re afraid of being bad at them. Or rather, we are intimidated by the expectation — itself a hallmark of our intensely public, performative age — that we must actually be skilled at what we do in our free time." Yep.

matwood 8y ago
I have a lot of hobbies, some are team competitive and some are only competitive with myself. If I enjoy doing something, I don't care how bad I am at it when I start. I do like to see improvement though.
jarsin 8y ago
I love tennis and anytime someone finds out I spend money on lessons etc the response is typically Them: you know your not 20 anymore so you have no chance of going pro right? Me: Yep Them: (stares dumbfounded)
- ghaff 8y ago
  That seems weird. I haven’t taken skiing lessons in years but I certainly took them, as many friends did, long after the time there would have been any chance of pro. And I find it hard to believe tennis is much different. Lots of people take lessons who don’t have personal coaches in many sports.
  - chongli 8y ago
    I think people give skiing lessons a pass because you can break your neck if you make a mistake on the hill. You're a lot less likely to die while playing tennis.
    - ghaff 8y ago
      Downhill skiing isn't really dangerous although you may fall a lot. We're not talking skydiving which you probably want some instruction with. I've taken lessons for skiing but to improve technique and enjoy the sport more, never because I was concerned about safety. Country Clubs and other places where people play sports like tennis and golf have regular lessons. It's not at all unusual for casual players. I'd add that I'm an instructor/leader for hiking courses with a local club that gets a few hundred people in programs in a typical year.
- RankingMember 8y ago
  Damn, you might want to not hang around that kind of negativity. Talk about a wet blanket.
gnarcoregrizz 8y ago
Heh. I don't disagree with that. I go full fledged hobby mode in most of the stuff I do, but I like competition. Unfortunately, I'll never be the best at anything I do. I have the 10% theory. That is, you can be top 10% in anything with deliberate practice and a really solid effort. After that, it gets exponentially harder, and natural ability plays a larger and larger effect. I'm really into cycling. I've been doing it all my life, but I broke into the top 10% with relative ease (judging by Strava). It took me a lot more consistent effort to break into the 5%, and a whole lot more effort (and some luck) to break into the 1-3%. Beyond that, there are some serious outliers who are just so much faster than even the 1%ers. Who knows though, maybe they're car KOMs or on e-bikes. In any case, I enjoy the competitive aspects of Strava, but some people think it ruins cycling.
- Xcelerate 8y ago
  I have the same theory, except that hard work can get about anyone into the top 1-2% instead of top 10% (well, except maybe for income. I’m talking strictly about hobbies).
  - photojosh 8y ago
    >> I broke into the top 10% with relative ease (judging by Strava) > except that hard work can get about anyone into the top 1-2% instead of top 10% Keep in mind that people on Strava are already self-selecting out of the general population, it is instead that 10% who are interested in measuring their performance compared to other cyclists/runners. So these claims are equivalent. Top 10% of the 10% = 1%.
raister 8y ago
I used to brew beer... Man, I sucked... A lot... Mainly due to high expectations set by my family, my friends, my co-workers, and so on. I ended up selling everything and going for bike riding - no one expects nothing from me now...
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
mszcz 8y ago
Same thought here. I've been playing squash for like 4 years and I still very much suck at it. The reason I stuck with it soo long is that we don't count points when we play. It's just for the fun of it, for the running, the goofy plays etc. Recently though I'm not enjoying it as much as I used to. What I realised is that, because of the way we've been playing it, I also have the mental comfort of just walking away from it the second it stops being enjoyable without the feeling of "wasting" a couple of years.
- dv35z 8y ago
  Hah! Surprised to see squash mentioned here - such a great game. Similar to you, I love it, but am fairly bad at it (compared to the “average” person I see on the courts). That said, I’ve recently got a resurgence of excitement out of it by: (1) paying for lessons once a week (I committed an pre-paid for 20 lessons) (2) Attending the weekly/bi-weekly round-robins; playing/meeting people there. Anyone who I have fun, spirited rallies with, I get their contact info (3) once a week (I put a calendar reminder), I look at my next two weeks, and I email blast my list of squash contacts and get games scheduled in (4) my gym uses ClubLocker, which has a ranking system. Sometimes I try to “gamify” the sport by looking up people just above me in ranking, and seeing if I can beat them. (5) once in awhile, I’ll try to turn some of the squash buddies into “real” friends - suggesting a post-squash beer, etc. It’s been really fun, and made a few real friends this way! Nothing groundbreaking, but it’s been fun lately. Happy squashing!
devmacrile 8y ago
Keith Johnstone has a nice passage in his book Impro where he likens adults to atrophied children (which applies to hobbies of a more artistic bent): "If he believed he was a transmitter, rather than a creator, then we'd be able to see what his talents really were." "We have an idea that art is self-expression - which historically is weird... Once we believe that art is self-expression, then the individual can be criticized not only for his lack of skill, but for simply being what he is."

matwood 8y ago

I have a lot of hobbies, some are team competitive and some are only competitive with myself. If I enjoy doing something, I don't care how bad I am at it when I start. I do like to see improvement though.

jarsin 8y ago

I love tennis and anytime someone finds out I spend money on lessons etc the response is typically Them: you know your not 20 anymore so you have no chance of going pro right? Me: Yep Them: (stares dumbfounded)

ghaff 8y ago
That seems weird. I haven’t taken skiing lessons in years but I certainly took them, as many friends did, long after the time there would have been any chance of pro. And I find it hard to believe tennis is much different. Lots of people take lessons who don’t have personal coaches in many sports.
- chongli 8y ago
  I think people give skiing lessons a pass because you can break your neck if you make a mistake on the hill. You're a lot less likely to die while playing tennis.
  - ghaff 8y ago
    Downhill skiing isn't really dangerous although you may fall a lot. We're not talking skydiving which you probably want some instruction with. I've taken lessons for skiing but to improve technique and enjoy the sport more, never because I was concerned about safety. Country Clubs and other places where people play sports like tennis and golf have regular lessons. It's not at all unusual for casual players. I'd add that I'm an instructor/leader for hiking courses with a local club that gets a few hundred people in programs in a typical year.
RankingMember 8y ago
Damn, you might want to not hang around that kind of negativity. Talk about a wet blanket.

gnarcoregrizz 8y ago

Heh. I don't disagree with that. I go full fledged hobby mode in most of the stuff I do, but I like competition. Unfortunately, I'll never be the best at anything I do. I have the 10% theory. That is, you can be top 10% in anything with deliberate practice and a really solid effort. After that, it gets exponentially harder, and natural ability plays a larger and larger effect. I'm really into cycling. I've been doing it all my life, but I broke into the top 10% with relative ease (judging by Strava). It took me a lot more consistent effort to break into the 5%, and a whole lot more effort (and some luck) to break into the 1-3%. Beyond that, there are some serious outliers who are just so much faster than even the 1%ers. Who knows though, maybe they're car KOMs or on e-bikes. In any case, I enjoy the competitive aspects of Strava, but some people think it ruins cycling.

Xcelerate 8y ago
I have the same theory, except that hard work can get about anyone into the top 1-2% instead of top 10% (well, except maybe for income. I’m talking strictly about hobbies).
- photojosh 8y ago
  >> I broke into the top 10% with relative ease (judging by Strava) > except that hard work can get about anyone into the top 1-2% instead of top 10% Keep in mind that people on Strava are already self-selecting out of the general population, it is instead that 10% who are interested in measuring their performance compared to other cyclists/runners. So these claims are equivalent. Top 10% of the 10% = 1%.

raister 8y ago

I used to brew beer... Man, I sucked... A lot... Mainly due to high expectations set by my family, my friends, my co-workers, and so on. I ended up selling everything and going for bike riding - no one expects nothing from me now...

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

mszcz 8y ago

Same thought here. I've been playing squash for like 4 years and I still very much suck at it. The reason I stuck with it soo long is that we don't count points when we play. It's just for the fun of it, for the running, the goofy plays etc. Recently though I'm not enjoying it as much as I used to. What I realised is that, because of the way we've been playing it, I also have the mental comfort of just walking away from it the second it stops being enjoyable without the feeling of "wasting" a couple of years.

dv35z 8y ago
Hah! Surprised to see squash mentioned here - such a great game. Similar to you, I love it, but am fairly bad at it (compared to the “average” person I see on the courts). That said, I’ve recently got a resurgence of excitement out of it by: (1) paying for lessons once a week (I committed an pre-paid for 20 lessons) (2) Attending the weekly/bi-weekly round-robins; playing/meeting people there. Anyone who I have fun, spirited rallies with, I get their contact info (3) once a week (I put a calendar reminder), I look at my next two weeks, and I email blast my list of squash contacts and get games scheduled in (4) my gym uses ClubLocker, which has a ranking system. Sometimes I try to “gamify” the sport by looking up people just above me in ranking, and seeing if I can beat them. (5) once in awhile, I’ll try to turn some of the squash buddies into “real” friends - suggesting a post-squash beer, etc. It’s been really fun, and made a few real friends this way! Nothing groundbreaking, but it’s been fun lately. Happy squashing!

devmacrile 8y ago

Keith Johnstone has a nice passage in his book Impro where he likens adults to atrophied children (which applies to hobbies of a more artistic bent): "If he believed he was a transmitter, rather than a creator, then we'd be able to see what his talents really were." "We have an idea that art is self-expression - which historically is weird... Once we believe that art is self-expression, then the individual can be criticized not only for his lack of skill, but for simply being what he is."