5 ms·

Ask HN: My asshole tech lead steals my ideas

9 points by starapetarda 8y ago

It usually goes like this: 1. I have an improvement idea (architecture, code organization, dependency handling, code checkers, etc.). 2. I propose it to the tech lead (he's not actually a lead, but works at the company the longest and is most knowledgeable and has most influence on decision making). 3. He doesn't accept it. I ran-out-of-arguments/cannot convince him. 4. A few weeks, even months, pass. 5. He proposes the idea as his own. 6. The manager accepts it. I kinda furious at the moment because it happened again today. I think it's just weird to go to my manager and say it was my idea in the first place. Why he should believe me? Any ideas how to handle it?

mindcrime 8y ago
Any ideas how to handle it? Quit, find a job working with people who aren't assholes.
- bbcbasic 8y ago
  Get a job at a company with a no asshole policy
joezydeco 8y ago
Why he should believe me? Because you documented the idea and either copied the manager on the initial proposal to your lead, or you mailed it to yourself so that you could pull up the email and show it to him in a situation like this.
- arayh 8y ago
  Yes, copying the manager seems to be a means to keep people honest in the workplace, although I find that it breeds passive aggressiveness.
  - joezydeco 8y ago
    Like others in the thread have said, maybe it's something that can be discussed with the manager and he can be blind-copied so that he has a record if something like that happens in the future. As the saying goes, you can change your organization or you can change your organization.
  - iamNumber4 8y ago
    If you’re using tasking/ project management system just create the task with your ideas moving forward, keep track of your task numbers. Whenever the a-hole try’s to steal it, and he makes a task, make sure to update his task as a duplicate of your task. My other suggestion is keep things close to your vest. If you have the power to implement changes just start doing it. If you don’t, start making branches and developing proof of concepts. Start showing your manager before including the a-hole in the ideas. So that if he try’s to steal it, then your manager has already seen it from you. Also if he’s doing it to you, your not alone he’s doing it to others too. Whatever you decide to do, if you can get a trusted coworker to also do it. Then there is a pattern of behavior that can’t be ignored. My other suggestion is, get your resume in order, start interviewing. Forget the a-holes name the instance you walk out the door.
- starapetarda 8y ago
  I wish I was doing that. At previous jobs it didn't happen so I was just using the lead as a sounding board for my ideas. We only talked and he turned me down. Also, it doesn't seem right that I cannot freely discuss ideas with him and I must document them first.
- mindcrime 8y ago
  copied the manager on the initial proposal to your lead That was going to be my original suggestion as well, and I think it might work (for some value of "work"). But honestly, if you're working with somebody / in a situation where you have to resort to this kind of stuff, it's probably better to just go work somewhere else.
arayh 8y ago
I've seen this happen before. It's a sign of a toxic work environment. I would either let it go and just make fewer suggestions, or find a better place to work.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
ggregoire 8y ago
Talk with your manager. Explain him the problem, give him examples, tell him that it frustrates you that your work is not rewarded. Also that it's difficult to work in these conditions since you feel that you can't trust this guy. If you don't have regular 1:1s with your manager, tell him you would like to speak about something that bothers you. He's your manager, it's his job. If your manager doesn't do anything or refuses to meet you, you should start looking for another job.
dmikor 8y ago
Find a new company
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
baldfat 8y ago
I can tell you from experience that this actually can be 100% unintentional. I had a friend and he was the king of telling you a problem and knowing that you would have a solution that he wanted fix his way, but make you think it was your own. Then I noticed people would just not accept something as a solution but it turns into their own idea after a while. It's their subconscious working things out. I just did a quick google fu and yup it is actually a thing. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/give-and-take/201412/the-biggest-reason-we-steal-other-people-s-ideas https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/give-and-take/201412...
- starapetarda 8y ago
  Well this is really interesting. I wasn't expecting this. Are you suggesting it takes my lead time to digest the problem and the proposed solutions (maybe subconsciously)? I don't think that I'm making him believe it's his solution tough. Quite the opposite.
  - chudi 8y ago
    I use this analogy, you plant seeds in people's minds with your ideas, the ideas grow into their heads and then they realize that it's a good idea. This happens to me a lot with people that doesn't have full expertise in the problem you are trying to solve. As a suggestion try to be accountable for your ideas in an email or something like that, and when your lead revives the idea refloat your past email.
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    Most people are busy, short of sleep, etc. They honestly don't remember every little conversation they had. If you have a good memory for such things, you will routinely feel like people are liars who don't keep their word etc. I did some volunteer work with a gifted organization and homeschooled my gifted kids. People with good memories often get bent out of shape feeling like other people are lying to them, jerking them around etc when the truth is the other person just doesn't remember the conversation, doesn't remember making a promise, etc. Put it in writing if you feel you need credit. Don't count on people to remember every little thing or to be perfect about giving credit.
throwaway5250 8y ago
Honestly, this seems pretty typical to me. If you want the idea implemented, you might have to accept the situation. Alternatively, you could make your proposals directly to the manager, or just sit on them. Obligatory quote: "Don't worry about someone stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to shove them down people's throats."
- starapetarda 8y ago
  Yeah... but I still don't like that he takes credit for them and is seen as the guy who improves the code base/organisation the most.
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
ithilglin909 8y ago
1) Propose your ideas in an email, preferable with someone else cc’d on it. 2) Propose your ideas to several people on your team at once. 3) Find someone more trustworthy if you need a sounding board. 4) Talk to your manager. 5) If you don’t have good relationship with your manager AND your tech lead, it’s pretty clearly time to find a new job.
MarkCole 8y ago
Is the tech lead actually proposing it as his idea? As in "Last night I had this idea x, we should do that". Or is he saying to the manager "We should implement x now because..." but leaving out who had the idea? If it's the latter, he may be doing it unintentionally. I've known devs that don't have the best social skills, and they maybe don't realise that people would like to have credit for their ideas. It may just be that they mulled it over for some time and came to the conclusion it was a good idea. They may have even forgot who gave them the original idea. It may then be a good idea to talk with them and ask why they didn't give you credit. Moving forward, my suggestion would be to have an email with others copied in. At most places I've worked we've had a developers@ / team.xy@ email. Maybe an email to that address with the idea, and asking for everyones feedback?
amorphous 8y ago
> Any ideas how to handle it? Umm... the obvious one: have you talked to the tech lead? "Hey, I suggested this idea to you months ago!" There is a good chance he is not even aware of that he got this idea from you.
- bjourne 8y ago
  Normally that is great advice. But the title of the post is "My asshole tech lead ..." so it probably isn't applicable to the situation. :) At least for me, avoidance is the only strategy that works for assholes.
hluska 8y ago
Have you tried talking to the tech lead and asking him what gives? There is a very high chance that he doesn't even realize what he's doing. Be charitable - give him the benefit of the doubt and be non confrontational.

9 points by starapetarda 8y ago

mindcrime 8y ago

Any ideas how to handle it? Quit, find a job working with people who aren't assholes.

bbcbasic 8y ago
Get a job at a company with a no asshole policy

joezydeco 8y ago

Why he should believe me? Because you documented the idea and either copied the manager on the initial proposal to your lead, or you mailed it to yourself so that you could pull up the email and show it to him in a situation like this.

arayh 8y ago
Yes, copying the manager seems to be a means to keep people honest in the workplace, although I find that it breeds passive aggressiveness.
- joezydeco 8y ago
  Like others in the thread have said, maybe it's something that can be discussed with the manager and he can be blind-copied so that he has a record if something like that happens in the future. As the saying goes, you can change your organization or you can change your organization.
- iamNumber4 8y ago
  If you’re using tasking/ project management system just create the task with your ideas moving forward, keep track of your task numbers. Whenever the a-hole try’s to steal it, and he makes a task, make sure to update his task as a duplicate of your task. My other suggestion is keep things close to your vest. If you have the power to implement changes just start doing it. If you don’t, start making branches and developing proof of concepts. Start showing your manager before including the a-hole in the ideas. So that if he try’s to steal it, then your manager has already seen it from you. Also if he’s doing it to you, your not alone he’s doing it to others too. Whatever you decide to do, if you can get a trusted coworker to also do it. Then there is a pattern of behavior that can’t be ignored. My other suggestion is, get your resume in order, start interviewing. Forget the a-holes name the instance you walk out the door.
starapetarda 8y ago
I wish I was doing that. At previous jobs it didn't happen so I was just using the lead as a sounding board for my ideas. We only talked and he turned me down. Also, it doesn't seem right that I cannot freely discuss ideas with him and I must document them first.
mindcrime 8y ago
copied the manager on the initial proposal to your lead That was going to be my original suggestion as well, and I think it might work (for some value of "work"). But honestly, if you're working with somebody / in a situation where you have to resort to this kind of stuff, it's probably better to just go work somewhere else.

arayh 8y ago

I've seen this happen before. It's a sign of a toxic work environment. I would either let it go and just make fewer suggestions, or find a better place to work.

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]

ggregoire 8y ago

Talk with your manager. Explain him the problem, give him examples, tell him that it frustrates you that your work is not rewarded. Also that it's difficult to work in these conditions since you feel that you can't trust this guy. If you don't have regular 1:1s with your manager, tell him you would like to speak about something that bothers you. He's your manager, it's his job. If your manager doesn't do anything or refuses to meet you, you should start looking for another job.

dmikor 8y ago

Find a new company

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

baldfat 8y ago

I can tell you from experience that this actually can be 100% unintentional. I had a friend and he was the king of telling you a problem and knowing that you would have a solution that he wanted fix his way, but make you think it was your own. Then I noticed people would just not accept something as a solution but it turns into their own idea after a while. It's their subconscious working things out. I just did a quick google fu and yup it is actually a thing. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/give-and-take/201412/the-biggest-reason-we-steal-other-people-s-ideas https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/give-and-take/201412...

starapetarda 8y ago
Well this is really interesting. I wasn't expecting this. Are you suggesting it takes my lead time to digest the problem and the proposed solutions (maybe subconsciously)? I don't think that I'm making him believe it's his solution tough. Quite the opposite.
- chudi 8y ago
  I use this analogy, you plant seeds in people's minds with your ideas, the ideas grow into their heads and then they realize that it's a good idea. This happens to me a lot with people that doesn't have full expertise in the problem you are trying to solve. As a suggestion try to be accountable for your ideas in an email or something like that, and when your lead revives the idea refloat your past email.
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  Most people are busy, short of sleep, etc. They honestly don't remember every little conversation they had. If you have a good memory for such things, you will routinely feel like people are liars who don't keep their word etc. I did some volunteer work with a gifted organization and homeschooled my gifted kids. People with good memories often get bent out of shape feeling like other people are lying to them, jerking them around etc when the truth is the other person just doesn't remember the conversation, doesn't remember making a promise, etc. Put it in writing if you feel you need credit. Don't count on people to remember every little thing or to be perfect about giving credit.

throwaway5250 8y ago

Honestly, this seems pretty typical to me. If you want the idea implemented, you might have to accept the situation. Alternatively, you could make your proposals directly to the manager, or just sit on them. Obligatory quote: "Don't worry about someone stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to shove them down people's throats."

starapetarda 8y ago
Yeah... but I still don't like that he takes credit for them and is seen as the guy who improves the code base/organisation the most.

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

ithilglin909 8y ago

1) Propose your ideas in an email, preferable with someone else cc’d on it. 2) Propose your ideas to several people on your team at once. 3) Find someone more trustworthy if you need a sounding board. 4) Talk to your manager. 5) If you don’t have good relationship with your manager AND your tech lead, it’s pretty clearly time to find a new job.

MarkCole 8y ago

Is the tech lead actually proposing it as his idea? As in "Last night I had this idea x, we should do that". Or is he saying to the manager "We should implement x now because..." but leaving out who had the idea? If it's the latter, he may be doing it unintentionally. I've known devs that don't have the best social skills, and they maybe don't realise that people would like to have credit for their ideas. It may just be that they mulled it over for some time and came to the conclusion it was a good idea. They may have even forgot who gave them the original idea. It may then be a good idea to talk with them and ask why they didn't give you credit. Moving forward, my suggestion would be to have an email with others copied in. At most places I've worked we've had a developers@ / team.xy@ email. Maybe an email to that address with the idea, and asking for everyones feedback?

amorphous 8y ago

> Any ideas how to handle it? Umm... the obvious one: have you talked to the tech lead? "Hey, I suggested this idea to you months ago!" There is a good chance he is not even aware of that he got this idea from you.

bjourne 8y ago
Normally that is great advice. But the title of the post is "My asshole tech lead ..." so it probably isn't applicable to the situation. :) At least for me, avoidance is the only strategy that works for assholes.

hluska 8y ago

Have you tried talking to the tech lead and asking him what gives? There is a very high chance that he doesn't even realize what he's doing. Be charitable - give him the benefit of the doubt and be non confrontational.