4 ms·

Social pressures? You put other people's opinions over your own health? Honestly man, scuse my french but tell them to fuck off. I don't care if it's your own f

by Exuma 8y ago

Social pressures? You put other people's opinions over your own health? Honestly man, scuse my french but tell them to fuck off. I don't care if it's your own family, your wife, do whatever you want. Hearing stuff like that makes me sick, because you're basically saying you value other people more than you and you are who is most important. It's liberating to just not care.

anonymous5133 8y ago
Social acceptance is a very powerful tool to manipulate people to say the least but yeah, I agree overall, people need to grow up in terms of their anti-veganism.
sokoloff 8y ago
There are overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences to anyone on a non-mainstream or non-omnivore diet. "Hey wanna come over to a BBQ at our place on Saturday?" might be awkward for a vegan to respond to, just as "Hey, wanna come over for spaghetti night?" would be for someone on a low-carb diet without any specific disrespect or disapproval from the host about the particular diet. I'm assuming you wouldn't recommend telling someone to "fuck off" for inviting you to a BBQ.
- arbitrary_name 8y ago
  I just show up with mushrooms, vegetable skewers, salad and high quality sourdough to share. Even at company picnics and other events. Rarely is there an issue and very often people are very complementary of my food. Don't make it other people's problem and they won't make it yours.
  - monksy 8y ago
    This is the correct answer right here. The only deviation of this is cooking services. When I did a cookout 2 weeks ago, I just told the vegan that she should be aware that the grill is heavily seasoned by meat. She used the stove and no one cared.
- tomjakubowski 8y ago
  yes, exactly - social pressure hardly ever takes such an overt form. it's easy to dismiss a friend who tells you "veganism is stupid", not as easy to ignore a constant nagging feeling that your choices are inconveniencing friends or family.
  - Exuma 8y ago
    Start by being more selfish. The number of times I've had people store meat in my fridge that STINKS to high hell... or me going to steakhouses with a group of 3 people because they don't want to eat something healthy... it's just give and take. People should stop feeling bad or apologizing for how they live their life. Other people live their life, what doesn't give you the right to live yours exactly how YOU want to live it.
- Exuma 8y ago
  > overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences That's what my original post was about. None of that stuff even matters. It's cliche to say but it's only awkward if you don't have true self-acceptance, THAT is what makes it awkward. Otherwise, its your reality against theirs, and if you bend to their reality it's basically telling your own self "that person's beliefs are more important than my own" If someone invites me to a BBQ I would just eat beforehand and then come over and socialize, have some water or carrots/hummus (if they have it), or nothing at all. If someone asked why I'm not eating I would just say I'm vegan (if they didn't already know) and I already ate for today. Anything beyond that conversation (i.e. making sarcastic jokes) I'm used to, I'd play along with it. There are rare times where the jokes get too much in which case I 100% ignore them so they get the idea that they should chill. Looking at people in the eye as they're talking, and then slowly looking away while they're mid sentence is a really good indicator that "ok... that's enough" without having to talk about it. For all the quarterly meetings at my old job, we would go to steak houses every single trip. The amount of times I've heard a waiter/waitress say something to the effect of "You're at a steakhouse pussy, you want a salad???" ... I dunno it just doesn't phase me. If they're a huge asshole I will be an asshole back... "Yeah did I stutter", but this is quite rare and usually only at really meat-centric places like Brazilian steakhouses etc. One memory I have was at this famous BBQ place in a basement in Memphis. He called 3 or 4 people around to have a 30 second comedy show at my expense, but I played along with it and shot remarks back, after which we all laughed and I ordered a water and a thing of potato salad. 99% of the time though, no one even cares, and people are polite.
graylights 8y ago
There are a lot of events that make being vegan inconvenient. I value myself by going out and having a good time with friends. Sure I can tell my friends and family to fuck off, but that sounds miserable.
- matwood 8y ago
  Just don’t eat at the event. I’m not vegan, but I do eat fairly healthy. When I’m traveling and can’t find something that fits healthy I just go without. If your friends continue to bring it up and give you a hard time then they are not your friends.
- Exuma 8y ago
  Well if they're REALLY your friends they shouldn't care to begin with. I'd say only 1-2% of interactions out of hundreds result in people saying anything. Not even that many people joke about it.
stone-monkey 8y ago
Social pressure is easy to write off in theory, but it can add extra friction to your life. You might be fine telling the first guy to fuck off, but after telling the hundredth person to fuck off, you might be a bit weary of telling people about your controversial life choice. Even if you don't give a fuck about others opinions, this added friction can wear you down over time - it's death by a thousand cuts. Not to mention the self reinforcing effects of social pressure - for example, if you're a vegan and you want to go out to eat with your friends, your options may likely be limited depending on the restaurant. If your friend group is considerate, they may take vegan options into account, or you might end up going out less with your friends as a result.
- Exuma 8y ago
  I dunno I quite disagree. I get what you're saying, but I definitely don't experience it being vegetarian or vegan. In my other message I wrote in this thread, I'd say I get shit about... 1 out of 50 or 100 interactions dealing with food?

by Exuma 8y ago

anonymous5133 8y ago

Social acceptance is a very powerful tool to manipulate people to say the least but yeah, I agree overall, people need to grow up in terms of their anti-veganism.

sokoloff 8y ago

There are overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences to anyone on a non-mainstream or non-omnivore diet. "Hey wanna come over to a BBQ at our place on Saturday?" might be awkward for a vegan to respond to, just as "Hey, wanna come over for spaghetti night?" would be for someone on a low-carb diet without any specific disrespect or disapproval from the host about the particular diet. I'm assuming you wouldn't recommend telling someone to "fuck off" for inviting you to a BBQ.

arbitrary_name 8y ago
I just show up with mushrooms, vegetable skewers, salad and high quality sourdough to share. Even at company picnics and other events. Rarely is there an issue and very often people are very complementary of my food. Don't make it other people's problem and they won't make it yours.
- monksy 8y ago
  This is the correct answer right here. The only deviation of this is cooking services. When I did a cookout 2 weeks ago, I just told the vegan that she should be aware that the grill is heavily seasoned by meat. She used the stove and no one cared.
tomjakubowski 8y ago
yes, exactly - social pressure hardly ever takes such an overt form. it's easy to dismiss a friend who tells you "veganism is stupid", not as easy to ignore a constant nagging feeling that your choices are inconveniencing friends or family.
- Exuma 8y ago
  Start by being more selfish. The number of times I've had people store meat in my fridge that STINKS to high hell... or me going to steakhouses with a group of 3 people because they don't want to eat something healthy... it's just give and take. People should stop feeling bad or apologizing for how they live their life. Other people live their life, what doesn't give you the right to live yours exactly how YOU want to live it.
Exuma 8y ago
> overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences That's what my original post was about. None of that stuff even matters. It's cliche to say but it's only awkward if you don't have true self-acceptance, THAT is what makes it awkward. Otherwise, its your reality against theirs, and if you bend to their reality it's basically telling your own self "that person's beliefs are more important than my own" If someone invites me to a BBQ I would just eat beforehand and then come over and socialize, have some water or carrots/hummus (if they have it), or nothing at all. If someone asked why I'm not eating I would just say I'm vegan (if they didn't already know) and I already ate for today. Anything beyond that conversation (i.e. making sarcastic jokes) I'm used to, I'd play along with it. There are rare times where the jokes get too much in which case I 100% ignore them so they get the idea that they should chill. Looking at people in the eye as they're talking, and then slowly looking away while they're mid sentence is a really good indicator that "ok... that's enough" without having to talk about it. For all the quarterly meetings at my old job, we would go to steak houses every single trip. The amount of times I've heard a waiter/waitress say something to the effect of "You're at a steakhouse pussy, you want a salad???" ... I dunno it just doesn't phase me. If they're a huge asshole I will be an asshole back... "Yeah did I stutter", but this is quite rare and usually only at really meat-centric places like Brazilian steakhouses etc. One memory I have was at this famous BBQ place in a basement in Memphis. He called 3 or 4 people around to have a 30 second comedy show at my expense, but I played along with it and shot remarks back, after which we all laughed and I ordered a water and a thing of potato salad. 99% of the time though, no one even cares, and people are polite.

graylights 8y ago

There are a lot of events that make being vegan inconvenient. I value myself by going out and having a good time with friends. Sure I can tell my friends and family to fuck off, but that sounds miserable.

matwood 8y ago
Just don’t eat at the event. I’m not vegan, but I do eat fairly healthy. When I’m traveling and can’t find something that fits healthy I just go without. If your friends continue to bring it up and give you a hard time then they are not your friends.
Exuma 8y ago
Well if they're REALLY your friends they shouldn't care to begin with. I'd say only 1-2% of interactions out of hundreds result in people saying anything. Not even that many people joke about it.

stone-monkey 8y ago

Social pressure is easy to write off in theory, but it can add extra friction to your life. You might be fine telling the first guy to fuck off, but after telling the hundredth person to fuck off, you might be a bit weary of telling people about your controversial life choice. Even if you don't give a fuck about others opinions, this added friction can wear you down over time - it's death by a thousand cuts. Not to mention the self reinforcing effects of social pressure - for example, if you're a vegan and you want to go out to eat with your friends, your options may likely be limited depending on the restaurant. If your friend group is considerate, they may take vegan options into account, or you might end up going out less with your friends as a result.

Exuma 8y ago
I dunno I quite disagree. I get what you're saying, but I definitely don't experience it being vegetarian or vegan. In my other message I wrote in this thread, I'd say I get shit about... 1 out of 50 or 100 interactions dealing with food?