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I'm glad this is getting attention. I was vegan for a while, but couldn't handle the constant social pressures. However, I'm now mostly a home cook with basic n

I'm glad this is getting attention. I was vegan for a while, but couldn't handle the constant social pressures. However, I'm now mostly a home cook with basic non-processed ingredients, lots of veggies, and low fat protein -- I've taken this to the point where I make my own breads. I find if I eat too many processed foods my chronic depression comes back. So eating simply and regular exercise is how I stay off antidepressants and perform better at every aspect of my life.

Exuma 8y ago
Social pressures? You put other people's opinions over your own health? Honestly man, scuse my french but tell them to fuck off. I don't care if it's your own family, your wife, do whatever you want. Hearing stuff like that makes me sick, because you're basically saying you value other people more than you and you are who is most important. It's liberating to just not care.
- anonymous5133 8y ago
  Social acceptance is a very powerful tool to manipulate people to say the least but yeah, I agree overall, people need to grow up in terms of their anti-veganism.
- sokoloff 8y ago
  There are overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences to anyone on a non-mainstream or non-omnivore diet. "Hey wanna come over to a BBQ at our place on Saturday?" might be awkward for a vegan to respond to, just as "Hey, wanna come over for spaghetti night?" would be for someone on a low-carb diet without any specific disrespect or disapproval from the host about the particular diet. I'm assuming you wouldn't recommend telling someone to "fuck off" for inviting you to a BBQ.
  - arbitrary_name 8y ago
    I just show up with mushrooms, vegetable skewers, salad and high quality sourdough to share. Even at company picnics and other events. Rarely is there an issue and very often people are very complementary of my food. Don't make it other people's problem and they won't make it yours.
    - monksy 8y ago
      This is the correct answer right here. The only deviation of this is cooking services. When I did a cookout 2 weeks ago, I just told the vegan that she should be aware that the grill is heavily seasoned by meat. She used the stove and no one cared.
  - tomjakubowski 8y ago
    yes, exactly - social pressure hardly ever takes such an overt form. it's easy to dismiss a friend who tells you "veganism is stupid", not as easy to ignore a constant nagging feeling that your choices are inconveniencing friends or family.
    - Exuma 8y ago
      Start by being more selfish. The number of times I've had people store meat in my fridge that STINKS to high hell... or me going to steakhouses with a group of 3 people because they don't want to eat something healthy... it's just give and take. People should stop feeling bad or apologizing for how they live their life. Other people live their life, what doesn't give you the right to live yours exactly how YOU want to live it.
  - Exuma 8y ago
    > overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences That's what my original post was about. None of that stuff even matters. It's cliche to say but it's only awkward if you don't have true self-acceptance, THAT is what makes it awkward. Otherwise, its your reality against theirs, and if you bend to their reality it's basically telling your own self "that person's beliefs are more important than my own" If someone invites me to a BBQ I would just eat beforehand and then come over and socialize, have some water or carrots/hummus (if they have it), or nothing at all. If someone asked why I'm not eating I would just say I'm vegan (if they didn't already know) and I already ate for today. Anything beyond that conversation (i.e. making sarcastic jokes) I'm used to, I'd play along with it. There are rare times where the jokes get too much in which case I 100% ignore them so they get the idea that they should chill. Looking at people in the eye as they're talking, and then slowly looking away while they're mid sentence is a really good indicator that "ok... that's enough" without having to talk about it. For all the quarterly meetings at my old job, we would go to steak houses every single trip. The amount of times I've heard a waiter/waitress say something to the effect of "You're at a steakhouse pussy, you want a salad???" ... I dunno it just doesn't phase me. If they're a huge asshole I will be an asshole back... "Yeah did I stutter", but this is quite rare and usually only at really meat-centric places like Brazilian steakhouses etc. One memory I have was at this famous BBQ place in a basement in Memphis. He called 3 or 4 people around to have a 30 second comedy show at my expense, but I played along with it and shot remarks back, after which we all laughed and I ordered a water and a thing of potato salad. 99% of the time though, no one even cares, and people are polite.
- graylights 8y ago
  There are a lot of events that make being vegan inconvenient. I value myself by going out and having a good time with friends. Sure I can tell my friends and family to fuck off, but that sounds miserable.
  - matwood 8y ago
    Just don’t eat at the event. I’m not vegan, but I do eat fairly healthy. When I’m traveling and can’t find something that fits healthy I just go without. If your friends continue to bring it up and give you a hard time then they are not your friends.
  - Exuma 8y ago
    Well if they're REALLY your friends they shouldn't care to begin with. I'd say only 1-2% of interactions out of hundreds result in people saying anything. Not even that many people joke about it.
- stone-monkey 8y ago
  Social pressure is easy to write off in theory, but it can add extra friction to your life. You might be fine telling the first guy to fuck off, but after telling the hundredth person to fuck off, you might be a bit weary of telling people about your controversial life choice. Even if you don't give a fuck about others opinions, this added friction can wear you down over time - it's death by a thousand cuts. Not to mention the self reinforcing effects of social pressure - for example, if you're a vegan and you want to go out to eat with your friends, your options may likely be limited depending on the restaurant. If your friend group is considerate, they may take vegan options into account, or you might end up going out less with your friends as a result.
  - Exuma 8y ago
    I dunno I quite disagree. I get what you're saying, but I definitely don't experience it being vegetarian or vegan. In my other message I wrote in this thread, I'd say I get shit about... 1 out of 50 or 100 interactions dealing with food?
toasterlovin 8y ago
Are you sure you have the causality right? Based on my own experience, it seems possible that whatever causes you to start eating processed food also causes your depression. And that having the bandwidth to make your own food only happens when the thing that causes your depression is gone.
- Falling3 8y ago
  You're right but I also wouldn't be at all surprised if there were a feedback loop between eating junk food and feeling various kinds of bad. I usually feel my best physically eating mostly fruits and vegetables.
- was_boring 8y ago
  I had a longer post containing family history and how I believe mine to be more genetics oriented then anything else. I decided that was inappropriate. The tldr, however, is I only have one blood relative in the past 3 generations who hasn't been diagnosed with chronic depression or has substance abuse issues. Both killed all the men in the previous generation by the time they were 45.
windexh8er 8y ago
I've gone mostly plant based starting the first of the year. I haven't touched chicken or red meat thus far and don't plan on it. Per your social pressures statement, I found that most don't notice it. The only issue arises when dining with friends or family who serve a planned meal, which usually has some form of chicken or red meat - at least in the US. I do choose to randomly eat select fish or seafood, so that generally helps in those social situations, but my consumption level is once or twice a month at one meal - mainly if it sounds good My experience so far has been overly positive. After about 60 days I stopped considering it. After 90 days red and white meats started to no longer sound appetizing. Eating at home was a challenge, at first, to switch cooking styles and get used to new ingredients I hadn't cooked with as much. I cook quite a bit and I feel as though this was my highest point of frustration my first few weeks. I bought about a dozen plant focused cook books and cherry picked what looked good right away and have ventured into odd and more complex recipes over the months. It's been far more fun than I would have guessed as there are so many plants I knew nothing about. Healthwise I feel much better and blood tests have shown improvement over where I was at before (and I was probably above average compared to the average American at start). I'm about 5'11, started in the mid 170s and am now in the low to mid 160s. I noticed a significant improvement in my running. I'm averaging 8 minute miles on a 3-5 mile run a few times a week. I could probably run lower but I enjoy it and don't try to push it beyond that. Last year I was running mid to upper 8s for the same distance. Nothing has really changed outside diet. TL;DR - Went mostly plant based at the start of the year, enjoying it. Hasn't gotten in the way and have seen improvements making the change.

Exuma 8y ago

Social pressures? You put other people's opinions over your own health? Honestly man, scuse my french but tell them to fuck off. I don't care if it's your own family, your wife, do whatever you want. Hearing stuff like that makes me sick, because you're basically saying you value other people more than you and you are who is most important. It's liberating to just not care.

anonymous5133 8y ago
Social acceptance is a very powerful tool to manipulate people to say the least but yeah, I agree overall, people need to grow up in terms of their anti-veganism.
sokoloff 8y ago
There are overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences to anyone on a non-mainstream or non-omnivore diet. "Hey wanna come over to a BBQ at our place on Saturday?" might be awkward for a vegan to respond to, just as "Hey, wanna come over for spaghetti night?" would be for someone on a low-carb diet without any specific disrespect or disapproval from the host about the particular diet. I'm assuming you wouldn't recommend telling someone to "fuck off" for inviting you to a BBQ.
- arbitrary_name 8y ago
  I just show up with mushrooms, vegetable skewers, salad and high quality sourdough to share. Even at company picnics and other events. Rarely is there an issue and very often people are very complementary of my food. Don't make it other people's problem and they won't make it yours.
  - monksy 8y ago
    This is the correct answer right here. The only deviation of this is cooking services. When I did a cookout 2 weeks ago, I just told the vegan that she should be aware that the grill is heavily seasoned by meat. She used the stove and no one cared.
- tomjakubowski 8y ago
  yes, exactly - social pressure hardly ever takes such an overt form. it's easy to dismiss a friend who tells you "veganism is stupid", not as easy to ignore a constant nagging feeling that your choices are inconveniencing friends or family.
  - Exuma 8y ago
    Start by being more selfish. The number of times I've had people store meat in my fridge that STINKS to high hell... or me going to steakhouses with a group of 3 people because they don't want to eat something healthy... it's just give and take. People should stop feeling bad or apologizing for how they live their life. Other people live their life, what doesn't give you the right to live yours exactly how YOU want to live it.
- Exuma 8y ago
  > overt pressures and subtle social inconveniences That's what my original post was about. None of that stuff even matters. It's cliche to say but it's only awkward if you don't have true self-acceptance, THAT is what makes it awkward. Otherwise, its your reality against theirs, and if you bend to their reality it's basically telling your own self "that person's beliefs are more important than my own" If someone invites me to a BBQ I would just eat beforehand and then come over and socialize, have some water or carrots/hummus (if they have it), or nothing at all. If someone asked why I'm not eating I would just say I'm vegan (if they didn't already know) and I already ate for today. Anything beyond that conversation (i.e. making sarcastic jokes) I'm used to, I'd play along with it. There are rare times where the jokes get too much in which case I 100% ignore them so they get the idea that they should chill. Looking at people in the eye as they're talking, and then slowly looking away while they're mid sentence is a really good indicator that "ok... that's enough" without having to talk about it. For all the quarterly meetings at my old job, we would go to steak houses every single trip. The amount of times I've heard a waiter/waitress say something to the effect of "You're at a steakhouse pussy, you want a salad???" ... I dunno it just doesn't phase me. If they're a huge asshole I will be an asshole back... "Yeah did I stutter", but this is quite rare and usually only at really meat-centric places like Brazilian steakhouses etc. One memory I have was at this famous BBQ place in a basement in Memphis. He called 3 or 4 people around to have a 30 second comedy show at my expense, but I played along with it and shot remarks back, after which we all laughed and I ordered a water and a thing of potato salad. 99% of the time though, no one even cares, and people are polite.
graylights 8y ago
There are a lot of events that make being vegan inconvenient. I value myself by going out and having a good time with friends. Sure I can tell my friends and family to fuck off, but that sounds miserable.
- matwood 8y ago
  Just don’t eat at the event. I’m not vegan, but I do eat fairly healthy. When I’m traveling and can’t find something that fits healthy I just go without. If your friends continue to bring it up and give you a hard time then they are not your friends.
- Exuma 8y ago
  Well if they're REALLY your friends they shouldn't care to begin with. I'd say only 1-2% of interactions out of hundreds result in people saying anything. Not even that many people joke about it.
stone-monkey 8y ago
Social pressure is easy to write off in theory, but it can add extra friction to your life. You might be fine telling the first guy to fuck off, but after telling the hundredth person to fuck off, you might be a bit weary of telling people about your controversial life choice. Even if you don't give a fuck about others opinions, this added friction can wear you down over time - it's death by a thousand cuts. Not to mention the self reinforcing effects of social pressure - for example, if you're a vegan and you want to go out to eat with your friends, your options may likely be limited depending on the restaurant. If your friend group is considerate, they may take vegan options into account, or you might end up going out less with your friends as a result.
- Exuma 8y ago
  I dunno I quite disagree. I get what you're saying, but I definitely don't experience it being vegetarian or vegan. In my other message I wrote in this thread, I'd say I get shit about... 1 out of 50 or 100 interactions dealing with food?

toasterlovin 8y ago

Are you sure you have the causality right? Based on my own experience, it seems possible that whatever causes you to start eating processed food also causes your depression. And that having the bandwidth to make your own food only happens when the thing that causes your depression is gone.

Falling3 8y ago
You're right but I also wouldn't be at all surprised if there were a feedback loop between eating junk food and feeling various kinds of bad. I usually feel my best physically eating mostly fruits and vegetables.
was_boring 8y ago
I had a longer post containing family history and how I believe mine to be more genetics oriented then anything else. I decided that was inappropriate. The tldr, however, is I only have one blood relative in the past 3 generations who hasn't been diagnosed with chronic depression or has substance abuse issues. Both killed all the men in the previous generation by the time they were 45.

windexh8er 8y ago

I've gone mostly plant based starting the first of the year. I haven't touched chicken or red meat thus far and don't plan on it. Per your social pressures statement, I found that most don't notice it. The only issue arises when dining with friends or family who serve a planned meal, which usually has some form of chicken or red meat - at least in the US. I do choose to randomly eat select fish or seafood, so that generally helps in those social situations, but my consumption level is once or twice a month at one meal - mainly if it sounds good My experience so far has been overly positive. After about 60 days I stopped considering it. After 90 days red and white meats started to no longer sound appetizing. Eating at home was a challenge, at first, to switch cooking styles and get used to new ingredients I hadn't cooked with as much. I cook quite a bit and I feel as though this was my highest point of frustration my first few weeks. I bought about a dozen plant focused cook books and cherry picked what looked good right away and have ventured into odd and more complex recipes over the months. It's been far more fun than I would have guessed as there are so many plants I knew nothing about. Healthwise I feel much better and blood tests have shown improvement over where I was at before (and I was probably above average compared to the average American at start). I'm about 5'11, started in the mid 170s and am now in the low to mid 160s. I noticed a significant improvement in my running. I'm averaging 8 minute miles on a 3-5 mile run a few times a week. I could probably run lower but I enjoy it and don't try to push it beyond that. Last year I was running mid to upper 8s for the same distance. Nothing has really changed outside diet. TL;DR - Went mostly plant based at the start of the year, enjoying it. Hasn't gotten in the way and have seen improvements making the change.