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Paul Graham has a great article about how high schoolers are basically stuck in a situation of no responsibility, no consequences. And, so naturally they fall b

Paul Graham has a great article about how high schoolers are basically stuck in a situation of no responsibility, no consequences. And, so naturally they fall back on cliques and highly elevated social consequences for inconsequential issues just to have something at all matter in their lives. The same thing happens in prisons, for example. He points out that a young (white male because of the times) would be responsible for a trade or even land by the time he was 20 in medieval times. But, today we expect “kids” to basically be babysat until they are 21. No wonder they rebel.

KozmoNau7 8y ago
Rebellion and questioning authority is also a vital part of growing up.
- badpun 8y ago
  I'm not sure if that's not a modern concept. I can't imagine that much rebelling going on in pre-modern times. Back then, father of the family was the ultimate authority, and also one of the few sources of knowledge about life skills that was actually available for children to learn from (unlike now, when the world changes so fast that parents' knowledge can be obsotele and even counterproductive for children, and they know that).
- Broken_Hippo 8y ago
  Not really - not everyone feels like they have things to rebel against. My spouse was one of those. He never really felt like he had anything to rebel against. By the time he was a teenager, it had been established that his limits were reasonable. Sure, he questioned why something was so, but always got an actual reason. Sure, he says he was a jerk and stuff, but that's immaturity. Rebellion? No need. One of the things we got taught in civics classes after I moved to Norway was that parents had no right to choose a child's friends/boyfriend/girlfriend nor what they'll study in the last few years of school. On the other hand, I lied to my mother regularly just to do normal stuff. If I left the mall to eat at a place that sat in the parking lot, I was supposed to call to get permission first. I wasn't allowed to go to anyone's house without my mother talking to their parents to make sure it was OK. I had to quit a job because my parents didn't want me working every weekend and had no choice but to go to church on sundays and many times, the reason for a limit was "because I said so". MY father was much more lenient: He'd ask some basic questions and tell me what time to be home, giving me a chance to ask for a later time dependent on plans (he'd let me stay later for a later movie, for example, if I had a way home). It all depends on what sorts of limits you have and how reasonable they are. Even to a teenager.
  - KozmoNau7 8y ago
    I also had a very open and rather permissive childhood. Of course my parents set limits, but they seemed logical most of the time. They encouraged me to engage in various activities and were supportive of my choice of activity, even if it was just trying out football (soccer) a single time, simply to see whether I'd like it. When I told them afterwards that it wasn't for me anyway, they supported my decision. I feel that because I struck out on my own somewhat later than a lot of my peers, it took somewhat longer for me to be actually independent and my own person, realizing that what my parents or other people in a position of authority says, is not always correct. I don't think everyone should actively distrust your parents, but I do feel that it's important to be independent and your own person, instead of relying on your parents' values and judgments.
    - wilkommen 8y ago
      I feel like I had a similar experience. I'm just now starting the process of building an independent headspace. Thanks for sharing your story!

KozmoNau7 8y ago

Rebellion and questioning authority is also a vital part of growing up.

badpun 8y ago
I'm not sure if that's not a modern concept. I can't imagine that much rebelling going on in pre-modern times. Back then, father of the family was the ultimate authority, and also one of the few sources of knowledge about life skills that was actually available for children to learn from (unlike now, when the world changes so fast that parents' knowledge can be obsotele and even counterproductive for children, and they know that).
Broken_Hippo 8y ago
Not really - not everyone feels like they have things to rebel against. My spouse was one of those. He never really felt like he had anything to rebel against. By the time he was a teenager, it had been established that his limits were reasonable. Sure, he questioned why something was so, but always got an actual reason. Sure, he says he was a jerk and stuff, but that's immaturity. Rebellion? No need. One of the things we got taught in civics classes after I moved to Norway was that parents had no right to choose a child's friends/boyfriend/girlfriend nor what they'll study in the last few years of school. On the other hand, I lied to my mother regularly just to do normal stuff. If I left the mall to eat at a place that sat in the parking lot, I was supposed to call to get permission first. I wasn't allowed to go to anyone's house without my mother talking to their parents to make sure it was OK. I had to quit a job because my parents didn't want me working every weekend and had no choice but to go to church on sundays and many times, the reason for a limit was "because I said so". MY father was much more lenient: He'd ask some basic questions and tell me what time to be home, giving me a chance to ask for a later time dependent on plans (he'd let me stay later for a later movie, for example, if I had a way home). It all depends on what sorts of limits you have and how reasonable they are. Even to a teenager.
- KozmoNau7 8y ago
  I also had a very open and rather permissive childhood. Of course my parents set limits, but they seemed logical most of the time. They encouraged me to engage in various activities and were supportive of my choice of activity, even if it was just trying out football (soccer) a single time, simply to see whether I'd like it. When I told them afterwards that it wasn't for me anyway, they supported my decision. I feel that because I struck out on my own somewhat later than a lot of my peers, it took somewhat longer for me to be actually independent and my own person, realizing that what my parents or other people in a position of authority says, is not always correct. I don't think everyone should actively distrust your parents, but I do feel that it's important to be independent and your own person, instead of relying on your parents' values and judgments.
  - wilkommen 8y ago
    I feel like I had a similar experience. I'm just now starting the process of building an independent headspace. Thanks for sharing your story!