5 ms·

Your point #4 will be magnified to the extreme in Tokyo.

by GuiA 8y ago

linguae 8y ago
Interestingly enough, back when I lived in Tokyo, I seemed to get more attention from women there than I ever did in California, whether it was the Central Valley, the Bay Area, or the Central Coast. But I was pining for someone back at home while I was on my internship (spoiler alert: I was rejected as soon as I returned home), and so I ignored the attention I received. This has nothing to do with the dating scene, and I risk deviating from the topic, but I felt this indescribable, overwhelming sense of freedom as an African-American in Japan that I never felt in America. I felt the difference in treatment, where I was treated better in Japan than in America. Women in Japan wouldn't walk on the opposite side of an alley whenever I walked by, nor would they act scared whenever I was alone in an elevator with them (I had an incident in Sacramento as a teenager when a white woman refused to enter an elevator with me and another black guy.) I felt like I was in a place where I could finally be myself. To me, being a "gaijin" in Japan was an upgrade from being an African-American in America.
- veebat 8y ago
  That really speaks to the horrors of America, given that in Japan, as a white male foreigner with command of "hai", "arigato" and on good days, "ah, so desu ne", I definitely got the sense of being put up with - albeit more so in Tokyo than elsewhere. But at the same time I can sympathize in that street interactions in California have grown openly hostile across the board. The level of polite hospitality is so low and paranoia so high that it is actually hard to go outside and do business without ending up in a confrontation of some kind. Just the other week I was crossing the street in SF after seeing a movie[1] and a lady(a white lady) crossing the other direction gave me the finger and screamed "fuck you, fuck you" for no reason I could fathom. We passed, and then I had a feeling of deja vu and thought, "didn't that happen the last time I saw a movie here too? Does this woman just go around in the evening cursing out strangers for self-care?" And that is the kind of thing that sounds dreadfully believable for SF these days. The privilege spares me from most avenues of material loss, but that's hardly something to be proud of. [1] The film was Sorry to Bother You, if it matters. I enjoyed it
barry-cotter 8y ago
That’s true but he’ll be much, much more of a rarity in Tokyo. Trust me there are girls who have a thing for Americans and there are girls who have a thing for black guys and they have limited options. I sincerely doubt Tokyo is worse than Shanghai for xenophobia or racism and all the black guys I know here are dating or married to Chinese girls.
- seanmcdirmid 8y ago
  Beijing is great for dating from the foreign guy perspective also, regardless of ethnicity (black, Indian, white, ...). Now if you are a girl, things are actually tougher in Asia.

Your point #4 will be magnified to the extreme in Tokyo.

by GuiA 8y ago

Your point #4 will be magnified to the extreme in Tokyo.

Interestingly enough, back when I lived in Tokyo, I seemed to get more attention from women there than I ever did in California, whether it was the Central Valley, the Bay Area, or the Central Coast. But I was pining for someone back at home while I was on my internship (spoiler alert: I was rejected as soon as I returned home), and so I ignored the attention I received. This has nothing to do with the dating scene, and I risk deviating from the topic, but I felt this indescribable, overwhelming sense of freedom as an African-American in Japan that I never felt in America. I felt the difference in treatment, where I was treated better in Japan than in America. Women in Japan wouldn't walk on the opposite side of an alley whenever I walked by, nor would they act scared whenever I was alone in an elevator with them (I had an incident in Sacramento as a teenager when a white woman refused to enter an elevator with me and another black guy.) I felt like I was in a place where I could finally be myself. To me, being a "gaijin" in Japan was an upgrade from being an African-American in America.

veebat 8y ago
That really speaks to the horrors of America, given that in Japan, as a white male foreigner with command of "hai", "arigato" and on good days, "ah, so desu ne", I definitely got the sense of being put up with - albeit more so in Tokyo than elsewhere. But at the same time I can sympathize in that street interactions in California have grown openly hostile across the board. The level of polite hospitality is so low and paranoia so high that it is actually hard to go outside and do business without ending up in a confrontation of some kind. Just the other week I was crossing the street in SF after seeing a movie[1] and a lady(a white lady) crossing the other direction gave me the finger and screamed "fuck you, fuck you" for no reason I could fathom. We passed, and then I had a feeling of deja vu and thought, "didn't that happen the last time I saw a movie here too? Does this woman just go around in the evening cursing out strangers for self-care?" And that is the kind of thing that sounds dreadfully believable for SF these days. The privilege spares me from most avenues of material loss, but that's hardly something to be proud of. [1] The film was Sorry to Bother You, if it matters. I enjoyed it

barry-cotter 8y ago

That’s true but he’ll be much, much more of a rarity in Tokyo. Trust me there are girls who have a thing for Americans and there are girls who have a thing for black guys and they have limited options. I sincerely doubt Tokyo is worse than Shanghai for xenophobia or racism and all the black guys I know here are dating or married to Chinese girls.

seanmcdirmid 8y ago
Beijing is great for dating from the foreign guy perspective also, regardless of ethnicity (black, Indian, white, ...). Now if you are a girl, things are actually tougher in Asia.