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A few female entrepreneurs, however, explicitly reject the values pushed by businessmen. “One of my husband’s business friends got married just two years ago,”
by PakG1 8y ago
A few female entrepreneurs, however, explicitly reject the values pushed by businessmen. “One of my husband’s business friends got married just two years ago,” explained Li, in her early 40s, who co-owns a steel business with her husband, “We went to his wedding. But when we hosted an event last year, he came with a young girl who was obviously his mistress. I told my husband that if he cheats on his wife only after a year, he will cheat us. He said no way, he’s a good guy, we can trust him!” She looked a little smug. “Now this man owes us a lot of money that he won’t pay.”
As women get more powerful in society, they'll stand up a bit more for themselves and their gender. I recall reading an article that I can't find about women working in South Korea. It's difficult for them to get promoted to senior positions because they're often not interested in bringing their customers or business partners to strip clubs and the like, as it makes for an uncomfortable work experience. But the same article quotes men who say they're more comfortable working with people with whom they share dark secrets and experiences.
You can totally see that reason not flying over time if women become more powerful, similar to the woman surnamed Li. After some time, Li probably won't only speak up, she'll probably have more influence over decisions too.
- 2muchcoffeeman 8y agoI would not trust any person who cheated on their spouse either. Nor would I want to hang out with colleagues at a strip club if we were not friends outside of work. I don’t think this is some gender thing. Maybe be men are more likely to be coerced into doing these things. But I think they’re having fun.
- tarsinge 8y agoCompletely agree on this. Cheating on someone (be it a spouse or a business partner) is the definition of being untrustworthy. To be clear, obviously I don’t mind how and with who people are spending their nights, as long as they are not deceiving someone. It’s a shame that open relationships are not more accepted, but that’s not an excuse because nobody forced a cheating person to take an engagement in the first time.
- Consultant32452 8y ago>I would not trust any person who cheated on their spouse either. I would be careful about that, because that group includes the likes of Martin Luther King, Jr., Stephen Hawking, Einstein, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm inclined to feel the same way, and have ended personal relationships when I found out someone had cheated on their spouse, but some of history's greatest figures cheated on their spouse.
- cm2012 8y agoTrustworthy =/ World changing. People can have a net positive on the world and still regularly backstab acquaintances. See Steve Jobs.
- Consultant32452 8y agoI think, generally speaking, there are very few people who would consider Martin Luther King Jr., George Washington, etc. as "untrustworthy." Some historians suggest that "Honest Abe Lincoln" cheated on his wife with two men. What could trustworthy mean if historical archetypes of honesty and great morality are not considered trustworthy?
- refoundglory 8y agoIt means you can trust them to do things like not lie to you. What do you want it to mean?
- bmarkovic 8y ago> What could trustworthy mean if historical archetypes of honesty and great morality are not considered trustworthy? What do the two concepts have in common at all? Trustworthy means he will not screw me over if, say, I were to borrow him money. That simply has nothing to do with "who the person" is but only with "what he is like in his personal relationships". Business relationships are very personal and greatly dependent on one's personality. In fact, the "greater" the person (in those historical, societal senses of the word) I'd actually be biased to trust them less even without any knowledge of their otherwise untrustiness.
- merinowool 8y agoIt is easy to take moral high ground if one has never been in such situation. Those things are complicated.
- PakG1 8y agoThere are plenty of people who have been in that situation and have regrets. They themselves take the moral high ground in condemning themselves. Hopefully, they heal by also forgiving themselves. People who refuse to admit wrong are more on the sociopathic side of the psychological spectrum.
- rimliu 8y ago> I would not trust any person who cheated on their spouse > either. In personal relationships—by all means. In business matters—it depends, unless you think that someones views about family directly transfers to the business world. If anything I'd speculate there should be an inverse correlation: the more seriously someone treats their business the more sloppy they can be about personal relationships. I would not be surprised if workaholism caused more divorces than cheating.
- user5994461 8y ago>>> I would not be surprised if workaholism caused more divorces than cheating. Doubtful. The man is traditionally expected to have the job and provide for the family, while the woman can take care of the children at home. It's somewhat assumed that the man will spend a lot of time at work.
- zaphirplane 8y agoSuch an absolute and unconditional statement can’t ever be right, Never say never
- 2muchcoffeeman 8y agoRelationship not working for you? Tell them. I’d love to hear a logical reason to cheat. I suppose at the same time you shouldn’t jump to conclusions. But if I knew someone was cheating. Definitely trusting them much less.
- mettamage 8y agoI was just skimming the comment (didn't read the article yet). But to me this feels a lot like Mad Men. In those series similar dark secrets were shared. And to me it seems to be good depiction of sexism in the 1960s in New York. I'm just noting this since I know that I would have had much less of an image of a quote like this in your ocmment without having seen the series.
- dsfdsfsd423423 8y agoHave you been around in the 1960s in New York, or how do you know it is a good depiction of sexism in the 1960s in New York?
- mettamage 8y agoI'm sorry I communicated it too unclearly to you. I italicized the word seems on purpose, and for this reason. I did this to communicate that I don't know whether it actually is a good depiction but it seems to be. If I would have known, then I would not have used that word.
- dsfdsfsd423423 8y agoOK, sorry, I didn't notice that it was italicized. That hint was too subtle. Maybe dependent on screen.
- bpizzi 8y agoA bit off-topic - well, to be fair, it may have been the other way: the man could have been the one saying "he'll cheat on us", and the women telling him "it's ok". Women are as prone to cheating as men. Women are not inherently faultless just because of their gender.
- yomly 8y agoPower and opportunity corrupt - my sample size of one anecdata is that when a bunch of female magic circle solicitors were away on secondments they held a competition for who could cheat the most on their boyfriends at home. Humans are flawed
- SolarNet 8y agoIn a more equal world like the western one we both (probably) live in, absolutely. In a place with strong gender roles (like the one in the article), being successful and female means being purposefully contrarian and acutely aware of gender roles; hence I would trust a female Chinese businesswoman more by default than their male counterparts because she operates in a gendered society. My point is we have strong evidence people's behavior is effected by society. So in a society with strong gender roles its easier to make assertions about specific genders with less information because of how gender roles operate.
- bpizzi 8y agoThank you for the nuances, I wanted to spell it somehow, but didn't find the words (westerner too but not native english speaker).
- orwin 8y agoYou are probably right, with the same opportunities and power, women should cheat as much as men. But if it was the wife cheating in public, i'm pretty sure no one would have made a deal with her and her husband would have been warned within the hour. Women are not faultless, but those in power have to hide their faults and vulnerabilities harder than men.
- minikomi 8y ago“One of my husband’s business friends got married just two years ago,” explained Li, in her early 40s, who co-owns a steel business with her husband, “We went to his wedding. But when we hosted an event last year, he came with a young girl who was obviously his mistress. We discussed it with him, and discovered that the nuances of marriage and relationships in other countries might not comply to our narrow points of view. I told my husband that we should have a more open mind about the kind of relationships people have. He agreed -- he’s a good guy, we can trust him! Now this man owes us a lot of money that he won’t pay. But, really, it has nothing to do with how he chooses to live and love.”
- yorwba 8y ago> the nuances of marriage and relationships in other countries might not comply to our narrow points of view Except Li is from the same country, so your attempt at writing her story off as a foreigner's biased view doesn't really work.
- erikb 8y ago> As women get more powerful in society Probably not gonna happen in China. Just google around to see how #metoo was turned down in mainland at least.