7 ms·

This is something I sometimes think about. My parents were pretty strict and emphasized education but were not "tiger parent" strict. I did pretty well in schoo

This is something I sometimes think about. My parents were pretty strict and emphasized education but were not "tiger parent" strict. I did pretty well in school but not "straight-A valedictorian" well. I'm out of college now with a job at the big 5 but I wonder where I would be had I studied harder in school and gotten into a better college. And would I be "happier"?

magic_beans 8y ago
Welp, once you have kids you can tiger parent them if you want.
threatofrain 8y ago
Unless you're using yourself as a proxy for others, the question isn't whether you'd be happier, but whether a population engaging in a parenting style would render more desired results. I do believe in the value of an educated populace not just for jobs, but for democratic and civic strength.
seanmcdirmid 8y ago
My parents were divorced and, anyways, completely hands off when it came to my sister’s and my education. I got a PhD, worked for research labs, and so on; my sister is a waitress and a bartender. There is some nature to consider, not just nuture, I guess.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- haskellandchill 8y ago
  That’s a nice story. Thanks for sharing.
balls187 8y ago
What school did you attend?
haskellandchill 8y ago
I dream of a big 5 job. Big 10, 20, 100? It seems so safe and nice. But yeah I am happier, that one is up to me :)
anonnyj 8y ago
Happiness is an absurd goal anyhow, because it's unsustainable. Better to shoot for content (comfortable, healthy, engaged in creative/work/etc) than gasping for peaks in mood. Less wasteful, less disappointment at not being happy all the time.
triviatise 8y ago
happiness comes from within. There is no sense wondering about the past since it cant be changed. The question is what will bring you happiness today to the rest of your life. I graduated in the top 50% of my high school class and had a 3.2/4 GPA at a state EE program. I hear about high school kids studying 3 hours a day, I don't think I ever studied much more than 3 hours a week. Definitely not stellar academic credentials. I ended up entering an md phd program where I washed out after 5 years. Fast forward a few years (20...) and I have my own company and will make about $800k-$1M this year. Yet at no time was I unhappy, even when I was digging for change out of the couch to have enough money to buy food. I remember savoring the ridiculousness of the situation and reveling in it. Yet I'm no happier now than I was at that moment. Part of life is figuring out what truly makes you happy. For most of us it ends up being bringing happiness to others in some way, not achievement and material possessions.
gumby 8y ago
> I wonder where I would be had I studied harder in school and gotten into a better college One thing that became abundantly clear from watching my kid go through the college process was that "better" is highly student-dependent. I had a really really great time at university but was happy that my kid didn't even apply there as I think he wouldn't have enjoyed the experience and would not have flourished; in fact he did end up going to a school I could not have handled. Assuming you enjoy your job at the "big 5", is anything wrong? (Not to say that it's always useful to reflect on the path not taken once in a while in case it provides insights for the future! But tiger parenting -- as a recipient of it, though my parents tried to tone it down -- is predicated on there being a "way", which ultimately there isn't, at least in the USA).

magic_beans 8y ago

Welp, once you have kids you can tiger parent them if you want.

threatofrain 8y ago

Unless you're using yourself as a proxy for others, the question isn't whether you'd be happier, but whether a population engaging in a parenting style would render more desired results. I do believe in the value of an educated populace not just for jobs, but for democratic and civic strength.

seanmcdirmid 8y ago

My parents were divorced and, anyways, completely hands off when it came to my sister’s and my education. I got a PhD, worked for research labs, and so on; my sister is a waitress and a bartender. There is some nature to consider, not just nuture, I guess.

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
haskellandchill 8y ago
That’s a nice story. Thanks for sharing.

balls187 8y ago

What school did you attend?

haskellandchill 8y ago

I dream of a big 5 job. Big 10, 20, 100? It seems so safe and nice. But yeah I am happier, that one is up to me :)

anonnyj 8y ago

Happiness is an absurd goal anyhow, because it's unsustainable. Better to shoot for content (comfortable, healthy, engaged in creative/work/etc) than gasping for peaks in mood. Less wasteful, less disappointment at not being happy all the time.

triviatise 8y ago

happiness comes from within. There is no sense wondering about the past since it cant be changed. The question is what will bring you happiness today to the rest of your life. I graduated in the top 50% of my high school class and had a 3.2/4 GPA at a state EE program. I hear about high school kids studying 3 hours a day, I don't think I ever studied much more than 3 hours a week. Definitely not stellar academic credentials. I ended up entering an md phd program where I washed out after 5 years. Fast forward a few years (20...) and I have my own company and will make about $800k-$1M this year. Yet at no time was I unhappy, even when I was digging for change out of the couch to have enough money to buy food. I remember savoring the ridiculousness of the situation and reveling in it. Yet I'm no happier now than I was at that moment. Part of life is figuring out what truly makes you happy. For most of us it ends up being bringing happiness to others in some way, not achievement and material possessions.

gumby 8y ago

> I wonder where I would be had I studied harder in school and gotten into a better college One thing that became abundantly clear from watching my kid go through the college process was that "better" is highly student-dependent. I had a really really great time at university but was happy that my kid didn't even apply there as I think he wouldn't have enjoyed the experience and would not have flourished; in fact he did end up going to a school I could not have handled. Assuming you enjoy your job at the "big 5", is anything wrong? (Not to say that it's always useful to reflect on the path not taken once in a while in case it provides insights for the future! But tiger parenting -- as a recipient of it, though my parents tried to tone it down -- is predicated on there being a "way", which ultimately there isn't, at least in the USA).