4 ms·

All true and don't forget the sex with other people that everyone secretly wants at all times. Women are ready to "trade up" for another man, men just want to m

All true and don't forget the sex with other people that everyone secretly wants at all times. Women are ready to "trade up" for another man, men just want to mate with other women. Couples who have only slept with each other don't seem to suffer from this. Couples where one or both had a lot of sex before getting together will suffer and will usually end having affairs.

mercer 8y ago
Do you have any links to evidence for this being the case? Honestly curious.
- cup-of-tea 8y ago
  Evidence? Sure, I know many couples. The bit about differences between couples who have only slept with each other is my own theory based on my observations. But it seems this has been studied more rigorously, for example: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1741-3737... But this talks about marital dissolution, not simply affairs. Affairs are happening way more than you think.
  - kstenerud 8y ago
    Except that the study cited didn't take into account confounding factors (cohabitation in earlier decades was associated more strongly with lower socioeconomic status, for example). The study has since been replicated with more recent data, and shows a weakening correlation: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000053/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000053/
    - cup-of-tea 8y ago
      Well, they are still both talking about marriage dissolution. While dissolution surely implies an unhappy marriage, the reverse implication is most certainly not true. Many marriages stay official for reasons other than "love and happiness". Most affairs probably don't even come to light, let alone actually lead to marriage dissolution.
      - kstenerud 8y ago
        Which begs the question: "Why bring up this study at all?"
        cup-of-tea 8y ago
        Because it is still evidence for what I claimed and the best I could find. I couldn't find anything showing for or against what I claimed. I think that's because it would be really hard to get good data.
  - lordnacho 8y ago
    If were happy with anecdata my evidence is the exact opposite. The people who've had few partners get curious and are the ones who end up having affairs, the ones who had dozens and dozens keep on the straight and narrow. But of course that's just people for whom I have the data, very small sample.
    - cup-of-tea 8y ago
      There's a big difference between one and "few". There's also a very long tail of partner counts and if you're talking about people who have had dozens of partners those are outliers. The median is somewhere around 5-7 in a lifetime.
      - laythea 8y ago
        I agree, but median where? USA, Europe, Asia? I'm sure your figure is not the real Earth human population median. There is a huge gaping chasm between the family mentality of the western world and the rest.
  - laythea 8y ago
    Evidence is not needed for something that to me anyway, seems quite logical.
- jl2718 8y ago
  https://i.imgur.com/mPToGid.jpg https://i.imgur.com/mPToGid.jpg
  - liveoneggs 8y ago
    The title of that page doesn't give me tons of faith :) > Statistics show that feminists with multiple partners have a very high chance of divorce and lifetime alimony paid by a man lol
laythea 8y ago
This is a valid statement. I think it can only be told by the experienced. Mostly, others live in optimism.

mercer 8y ago

Do you have any links to evidence for this being the case? Honestly curious.

cup-of-tea 8y ago
Evidence? Sure, I know many couples. The bit about differences between couples who have only slept with each other is my own theory based on my observations. But it seems this has been studied more rigorously, for example: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1741-3737... But this talks about marital dissolution, not simply affairs. Affairs are happening way more than you think.
- kstenerud 8y ago
  Except that the study cited didn't take into account confounding factors (cohabitation in earlier decades was associated more strongly with lower socioeconomic status, for example). The study has since been replicated with more recent data, and shows a weakening correlation: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000053/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000053/
  - cup-of-tea 8y ago
    Well, they are still both talking about marriage dissolution. While dissolution surely implies an unhappy marriage, the reverse implication is most certainly not true. Many marriages stay official for reasons other than "love and happiness". Most affairs probably don't even come to light, let alone actually lead to marriage dissolution.
    - kstenerud 8y ago
      Which begs the question: "Why bring up this study at all?"
      - cup-of-tea 8y ago
        Because it is still evidence for what I claimed and the best I could find. I couldn't find anything showing for or against what I claimed. I think that's because it would be really hard to get good data.
- lordnacho 8y ago
  If were happy with anecdata my evidence is the exact opposite. The people who've had few partners get curious and are the ones who end up having affairs, the ones who had dozens and dozens keep on the straight and narrow. But of course that's just people for whom I have the data, very small sample.
  - cup-of-tea 8y ago
    There's a big difference between one and "few". There's also a very long tail of partner counts and if you're talking about people who have had dozens of partners those are outliers. The median is somewhere around 5-7 in a lifetime.
    - laythea 8y ago
      I agree, but median where? USA, Europe, Asia? I'm sure your figure is not the real Earth human population median. There is a huge gaping chasm between the family mentality of the western world and the rest.
- laythea 8y ago
  Evidence is not needed for something that to me anyway, seems quite logical.
jl2718 8y ago
https://i.imgur.com/mPToGid.jpg https://i.imgur.com/mPToGid.jpg
- liveoneggs 8y ago
  The title of that page doesn't give me tons of faith :) > Statistics show that feminists with multiple partners have a very high chance of divorce and lifetime alimony paid by a man lol

laythea 8y ago

This is a valid statement. I think it can only be told by the experienced. Mostly, others live in optimism.