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We've done all these things. It's a great list and I would only add one more item, to be used sparingly, and that is to give 'em a small dose of familial cultur

We've done all these things. It's a great list and I would only add one more item, to be used sparingly, and that is to give 'em a small dose of familial culture motivation. Saying things like, "Pearces learn to read, and read a lot. You will. It's the only way to be smart." The purpose is just to cover all the motivational bases. Usually they'll want to read for fun or due to their inquisitive nature, but sometimes, my kids would give me lip about how they never wanted to learn to read or how they can just listen to audio. At those times, I just gently plant the cultural seed and let it go to work in their head, motivating them with a sense of duty.

pbhjpbhj 16y ago
>Saying things like, "Pearces learn to read, and read a lot. You will. It's the only way to be smart." I'm a reader, at least when I've time for leisure I'll read pretty much anything but gravitate towards international espionage and SciFi. My mother reads fiction vociferously. However, "it's the only way to be smart" seems too much; the suggestion that 'members of this family read a lot' seems too much like undue psychological pressure. As if you'll disown them if they don't read as much as you. If my sons choose not to carry on reading at the pace I've set them off at I won't necessarily think it's bad. One can learn as much from people IMO. If they dissociate from all avenues of learning then yes it'll be a major problem. Indeed, there are many subjects where, wrt books, direct interaction with people and materials are far better for learning. >"motivating them with a sense of duty"? Huh? Duty to whom?
- deleted 16y ago
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- euroclydon 16y ago
  We'll probably say something like this to our kids two or three time in their lifetimes. Listen, a family culture exists whether you acknowledge it and actively try to create it or not. What I'm saying, is that one of the many tools available to a parent is to motivate their children by encouraging them to be a part of that culture. Obviously, it doesn't work or is psychologically damaging if the culture sucks. There are plenty of examples of this tactic being abused, which is why I state it has to be used sparingly, and I'll add by parents who've really thought it through, love their children, and are training them to be independent thinkers. I'm raising kids who will tell me, at an early age, if they think our family culture sucks. Duty to whom? To the family and their way of thinking, of course.
  - pbhjpbhj 16y ago
    >Listen, a family culture exists whether you acknowledge it and actively try to create it or not. >Duty to whom? To the family and their way of thinking, of course. I think that our family "culture" is simply emergent out of the interplay of our individual characters; the kids are obviously part of that culture whether they're pulling in the direction you want/hoped/prefer/demand or not. I'm in for a chat over a couple of cold ones on these things but it's a bit too OT for here I think. Thanks for the thought-fodder I'll find a proxy for you and see how it all goes.

pbhjpbhj 16y ago

>Saying things like, "Pearces learn to read, and read a lot. You will. It's the only way to be smart." I'm a reader, at least when I've time for leisure I'll read pretty much anything but gravitate towards international espionage and SciFi. My mother reads fiction vociferously. However, "it's the only way to be smart" seems too much; the suggestion that 'members of this family read a lot' seems too much like undue psychological pressure. As if you'll disown them if they don't read as much as you. If my sons choose not to carry on reading at the pace I've set them off at I won't necessarily think it's bad. One can learn as much from people IMO. If they dissociate from all avenues of learning then yes it'll be a major problem. Indeed, there are many subjects where, wrt books, direct interaction with people and materials are far better for learning. >"motivating them with a sense of duty"? Huh? Duty to whom?

deleted 16y ago
[deleted]
euroclydon 16y ago
We'll probably say something like this to our kids two or three time in their lifetimes. Listen, a family culture exists whether you acknowledge it and actively try to create it or not. What I'm saying, is that one of the many tools available to a parent is to motivate their children by encouraging them to be a part of that culture. Obviously, it doesn't work or is psychologically damaging if the culture sucks. There are plenty of examples of this tactic being abused, which is why I state it has to be used sparingly, and I'll add by parents who've really thought it through, love their children, and are training them to be independent thinkers. I'm raising kids who will tell me, at an early age, if they think our family culture sucks. Duty to whom? To the family and their way of thinking, of course.
- pbhjpbhj 16y ago
  >Listen, a family culture exists whether you acknowledge it and actively try to create it or not. >Duty to whom? To the family and their way of thinking, of course. I think that our family "culture" is simply emergent out of the interplay of our individual characters; the kids are obviously part of that culture whether they're pulling in the direction you want/hoped/prefer/demand or not. I'm in for a chat over a couple of cold ones on these things but it's a bit too OT for here I think. Thanks for the thought-fodder I'll find a proxy for you and see how it all goes.