5 ms·

Everyone likes to blame loose VC money for silly stuff like this, but I have a slightly more nuanced theory about ridiculous office perks: Office managers/offi

Everyone likes to blame loose VC money for silly stuff like this, but I have a slightly more nuanced theory about ridiculous office perks: Office managers/office teams have very few concrete metrics. Beyond a binary "is the office functional" (e.g. are there enough desks, does the electricity work) there is pretty much no way to measure job performance. That's not to say their work doesn't have any impact. Anyone who has worked in a poorly laid out office has dealt with the corresponding productivity drain. However, it's really hard to measure that boost/loss and nearly impossible to accurately attribute it. The solution is for office managers to do ridiculous but easily quantifiable things like spend money on subscription water coolers, an on-demand smoothie blending machine [0], potted plants that cost $800 [1]. If you are an office worker frustrated by this trend, you should invent some performance metric for office managers and then sell something that improves it. You'll instantly suck up all the VC money going to these other startups. [0]http://getreplenish.com/#1 http://getreplenish.com/#1 [1] https://www.leonandgeorge.com/plants/large-desert-cactus/ https://www.leonandgeorge.com/plants/large-desert-cactus/

steviecleveland 8y ago
> you should invent some performance metric profitability and growth
- IshKebab 8y ago
  That's not something that is measurable for office managers. I don't think office managers need metrics - just a suggestion box. Most thinks are really obvious, especially if you let people tell you about them. I guarantee if the had a suggestion box nobody would suggest an IoT water cooler.
  - Gys 8y ago
    I gave some suggestions to the manager of the cowork space where I go. She was very friendly and said yes thank you, but it was clearly not what she thought to be important. So no real improvements. Even though others tell me the same (and also switch to the much cheaper plan because that is the more rational thing to do then). So suggestions only work if it clicks with the other person (people). One guy asking an IoT water cooler could do the trick ;-)
  - ehnto 8y ago
    I agree. Metrics have side effects as well. Optimizing for particular metrics can make an organisation incur tunnel vision, and leads to some really perverse and inefficient practices that don't really achieve the spirit of the metric. Think hard about what to measure and not measuring anything at all is totally valid. Just talk to the humans in your org to see if they're happy and if they need any particular changes.
  - freddie_mercury 8y ago
    I disagree. Have you ever done this? I've been on the other side of it. (I own my own company.) Get suggestions from staff & follow through. In the real world staff have lots of wants, nice ideas, and "wouldn't it be good if" suggestions. They have very little concept if other people are interested in their idea, if people would actually continue to use the idea once the novelty wears off, and so on. In my office here's a list of "staff ideas" and how they turned out: - "Let's have standing desks!" After the first six months, not a single person in the office has changed the height of their desk in over a year. - "Let's get a microwave, so people will start bringing their lunch from home." The microwave gets used once a week (by the person who requested) and now it is one more thing that needs to be cleaned weekly. - "Let's have couches, so people can work from places other than their desk!" The person who requested this used the couch every day. After he left the company, no one else has ever used it. - "Let's buy more whiteboards and put them up in various places so it is easy to have discussions anywhere!" Of the 6 whiteboards, 5 of them have had the same writing on them for over six months. One whiteboard has had the same project diagram for over a year. The ink is so set I couldn't even erase it last time I tried. Only one whiteboard ever gets used -- the one we had before the suggestion. - "Let's get croissants/yogurt/fresh fruit/whatever". In 90% of cases, the person who requested it is the only person who ever eats it. After a few months I have to discontinue ordering it because we are throwing away 90% of it.
    - owlsaway 8y ago
      Is there a way to have an anonymous voting system? I mean, not all suggestions by individuals have to be immediately implemented, do they? If no one else feels as enthusiastic on microwaves or couches or what have you, then wouldn't voting avoid the problems you describe?
    - ahmedfromtunis 8y ago
      A voting system (maybe on a Trello board, or something similar) may help gauge the requester-user problem.
    - burfog 8y ago
      I've seen lots of those work, more or less... standing desks: People who want to stand will normally put 8 concrete blocks under their desk, then get a tall chair for when they don't wish to stand. This is cheap and effective. microwave: Heh, we wore out many, and then got 4 restaurant-grade ones. We also have a couple toaster ovens. This is for a couple hundred people. For special occasions we also have a griddle, several 1-coil burners, and a propane grill. couches: They get some use, mainly during meetings and when people play video games. Some people sometimes sleep in them. whiteboards: The ones in weird places get used for polls, contests, etc. croissants/yogurt/fresh fruit/whatever: This gets eaten. Bananas seem to get ripe late on Friday though, which doesn't end well, but at least they are cheap.
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
  - manigandham 8y ago
    Office managers cant tell the company is doing better just by looking? How about asking for a simple report if it's really that hard. Or... they could just not change things and waste money unnecessarily because they feel they have to. If there's nothing else for them to do, then is there even a need for an office manager in the first place? I've seen way too many 20 person startups that have more HR/office staff than actual product related people.
  - speedplane 8y ago
    Love this post, for very personal reasons. My family were German Jews living in Germany for generations, and in the 1930s before it got really bad, they moved to the USA and started a water cooler business. Back in the day, water coolers were expensive to manufacture, roughly $500-1500 per unit. The company was ostensibly a water company, but would sell water with a minimal profit. Their real money renting out the water coolers at $10-20/month. Then in the late 1990s / early 200s China came online. Those $500 water coolers all of a sudden were being sold for $70. Obviously, it's pretty difficult to rent out a $70 piece of equipment for $10/mo. So the business had to shift from making money off of equipment to water, a much lower profit margin business. A few tips for any entrepreneur going into this business: - Obviously sell hard during the summer when it's hot - Asian folks often prefer hot water to cold, so have some solution that caters to them. - The bottles themselves can become a relatively large expense. Think about how to deal with them. - Moving heavy bottles of water is extremely labor intensive. Your workforce will eventually become unionized, build that into business plan. - Drinking spring and/or purified water is often subject to trends. Have a plan for when municipal water becomes "hip" or when customers demand that you reduce your carbon foot-print and stop shipping in water from out-of-state. - A common complaint about water coolers is that people find bugs in their water. More often than not, this has nothing to do with you water, and has everything to do with the location in which it's placed. You won't be able to fix every situation, have a plan for this. Good luck! You're up against some heavy-weights!
TylerE 8y ago
The pricing on that plant doesn't really seem that bad considering it includes delivery. Shipping alone on that is probably $200+.
mythrwy 8y ago
That $800 plant isn't even a cactus as advertised (much less a desert cactus). Cactus are native to the Americas. The plant in the photo is a Euphorbia (closely related to the poinsetta sold around Christmas) and is from Africa. It looks like a cactus but isn't related at all. One way to tell the difference between cactus and these "imposters" is that real cactus have spines protruding from a detachable pad that can be pulled cleanly off (the spines are an evolved leaf and detach in a similar way). The spines of the Euphorbia on the other hand are part of the main body of the plant and can't be cleanly detached. Probably only a few plant nerds really care, but for $800 they shouldn't call it something it manifestly isn't IMOP.
- sjcsjc 8y ago
  No doubt I'll feel silly for asking but what is IMOP? Google didn't provide any sensible answer.
  - zeta0134 8y ago
    Given the context, most likely "In my own opinion."
    - deleted 8y ago
      [deleted]
    - sjcsjc 8y ago
      Aha, thanks. Even though that would be IMOO, you switched the context for me. If the P had been omitted it would have been obvious to me. Perhaps it's just a typo.
  - John4234 8y ago
    The easy way to find such unknown jargons is to search google with "<jargon> internet slang".
microcolonel 8y ago
I don't think you necessarily even need to measure job performance, just ask some people what they think actually distracts or disturbs them, read some studies, try something, and see if it at least seems like it has some impact. Almost anything is better than buying and installing random leisure and refreshment equipment hoping for an effect you can't name or describe.

steviecleveland 8y ago

> you should invent some performance metric profitability and growth

IshKebab 8y ago
That's not something that is measurable for office managers. I don't think office managers need metrics - just a suggestion box. Most thinks are really obvious, especially if you let people tell you about them. I guarantee if the had a suggestion box nobody would suggest an IoT water cooler.
- Gys 8y ago
  I gave some suggestions to the manager of the cowork space where I go. She was very friendly and said yes thank you, but it was clearly not what she thought to be important. So no real improvements. Even though others tell me the same (and also switch to the much cheaper plan because that is the more rational thing to do then). So suggestions only work if it clicks with the other person (people). One guy asking an IoT water cooler could do the trick ;-)
- ehnto 8y ago
  I agree. Metrics have side effects as well. Optimizing for particular metrics can make an organisation incur tunnel vision, and leads to some really perverse and inefficient practices that don't really achieve the spirit of the metric. Think hard about what to measure and not measuring anything at all is totally valid. Just talk to the humans in your org to see if they're happy and if they need any particular changes.
- freddie_mercury 8y ago
  I disagree. Have you ever done this? I've been on the other side of it. (I own my own company.) Get suggestions from staff & follow through. In the real world staff have lots of wants, nice ideas, and "wouldn't it be good if" suggestions. They have very little concept if other people are interested in their idea, if people would actually continue to use the idea once the novelty wears off, and so on. In my office here's a list of "staff ideas" and how they turned out: - "Let's have standing desks!" After the first six months, not a single person in the office has changed the height of their desk in over a year. - "Let's get a microwave, so people will start bringing their lunch from home." The microwave gets used once a week (by the person who requested) and now it is one more thing that needs to be cleaned weekly. - "Let's have couches, so people can work from places other than their desk!" The person who requested this used the couch every day. After he left the company, no one else has ever used it. - "Let's buy more whiteboards and put them up in various places so it is easy to have discussions anywhere!" Of the 6 whiteboards, 5 of them have had the same writing on them for over six months. One whiteboard has had the same project diagram for over a year. The ink is so set I couldn't even erase it last time I tried. Only one whiteboard ever gets used -- the one we had before the suggestion. - "Let's get croissants/yogurt/fresh fruit/whatever". In 90% of cases, the person who requested it is the only person who ever eats it. After a few months I have to discontinue ordering it because we are throwing away 90% of it.
  - owlsaway 8y ago
    Is there a way to have an anonymous voting system? I mean, not all suggestions by individuals have to be immediately implemented, do they? If no one else feels as enthusiastic on microwaves or couches or what have you, then wouldn't voting avoid the problems you describe?
  - ahmedfromtunis 8y ago
    A voting system (maybe on a Trello board, or something similar) may help gauge the requester-user problem.
  - burfog 8y ago
    I've seen lots of those work, more or less... standing desks: People who want to stand will normally put 8 concrete blocks under their desk, then get a tall chair for when they don't wish to stand. This is cheap and effective. microwave: Heh, we wore out many, and then got 4 restaurant-grade ones. We also have a couple toaster ovens. This is for a couple hundred people. For special occasions we also have a griddle, several 1-coil burners, and a propane grill. couches: They get some use, mainly during meetings and when people play video games. Some people sometimes sleep in them. whiteboards: The ones in weird places get used for polls, contests, etc. croissants/yogurt/fresh fruit/whatever: This gets eaten. Bananas seem to get ripe late on Friday though, which doesn't end well, but at least they are cheap.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- manigandham 8y ago
  Office managers cant tell the company is doing better just by looking? How about asking for a simple report if it's really that hard. Or... they could just not change things and waste money unnecessarily because they feel they have to. If there's nothing else for them to do, then is there even a need for an office manager in the first place? I've seen way too many 20 person startups that have more HR/office staff than actual product related people.
- speedplane 8y ago
  Love this post, for very personal reasons. My family were German Jews living in Germany for generations, and in the 1930s before it got really bad, they moved to the USA and started a water cooler business. Back in the day, water coolers were expensive to manufacture, roughly $500-1500 per unit. The company was ostensibly a water company, but would sell water with a minimal profit. Their real money renting out the water coolers at $10-20/month. Then in the late 1990s / early 200s China came online. Those $500 water coolers all of a sudden were being sold for $70. Obviously, it's pretty difficult to rent out a $70 piece of equipment for $10/mo. So the business had to shift from making money off of equipment to water, a much lower profit margin business. A few tips for any entrepreneur going into this business: - Obviously sell hard during the summer when it's hot - Asian folks often prefer hot water to cold, so have some solution that caters to them. - The bottles themselves can become a relatively large expense. Think about how to deal with them. - Moving heavy bottles of water is extremely labor intensive. Your workforce will eventually become unionized, build that into business plan. - Drinking spring and/or purified water is often subject to trends. Have a plan for when municipal water becomes "hip" or when customers demand that you reduce your carbon foot-print and stop shipping in water from out-of-state. - A common complaint about water coolers is that people find bugs in their water. More often than not, this has nothing to do with you water, and has everything to do with the location in which it's placed. You won't be able to fix every situation, have a plan for this. Good luck! You're up against some heavy-weights!

TylerE 8y ago

The pricing on that plant doesn't really seem that bad considering it includes delivery. Shipping alone on that is probably $200+.

mythrwy 8y ago

That $800 plant isn't even a cactus as advertised (much less a desert cactus). Cactus are native to the Americas. The plant in the photo is a Euphorbia (closely related to the poinsetta sold around Christmas) and is from Africa. It looks like a cactus but isn't related at all. One way to tell the difference between cactus and these "imposters" is that real cactus have spines protruding from a detachable pad that can be pulled cleanly off (the spines are an evolved leaf and detach in a similar way). The spines of the Euphorbia on the other hand are part of the main body of the plant and can't be cleanly detached. Probably only a few plant nerds really care, but for $800 they shouldn't call it something it manifestly isn't IMOP.

sjcsjc 8y ago
No doubt I'll feel silly for asking but what is IMOP? Google didn't provide any sensible answer.
- zeta0134 8y ago
  Given the context, most likely "In my own opinion."
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
  - sjcsjc 8y ago
    Aha, thanks. Even though that would be IMOO, you switched the context for me. If the P had been omitted it would have been obvious to me. Perhaps it's just a typo.
- John4234 8y ago
  The easy way to find such unknown jargons is to search google with "<jargon> internet slang".

microcolonel 8y ago

I don't think you necessarily even need to measure job performance, just ask some people what they think actually distracts or disturbs them, read some studies, try something, and see if it at least seems like it has some impact. Almost anything is better than buying and installing random leisure and refreshment equipment hoping for an effect you can't name or describe.