4 ms·

But if you do put in effort, it's still hard

monksy 8y ago
When's the last time you invited someone out to lunch? When's the last time you invited people out for drinks or to your place? When's the last time you threw a party? That's literally how hard it is. Do stuff with people.
- your-nanny 8y ago
  It's hard because they don't have the time either. Kids, soccer practice, gym, and so on. For a lot of people in a lot of places not called the bay area, people move to a town and find themselves a church. The church organizes provides all kinds of opportunities to socialize and make friends in a non competitive in-group sort of way. I'm not religious, and think that organizing life around church can promote certain myopic attitudes, but I can see how this kind of access to an egalitarian community of worship can really have benefits
  - monksy 8y ago
    Find a way to involve the community in with your chores. You've mentioned one of the biggest values of churches. They still exist in the bay area even if they aren't "cool"
  - pbhjpbhj 8y ago
    >I can see how this kind of access to an egalitarian community of worship / Lol, you can tell you're not a churchgoer ... /jk (but not entirely)
    - your-nanny 8y ago
      You are correct, but I wonder what about the quoted text made you laugh
      - pbhjpbhj 8y ago
        Christians are still sinful, prone to pride and selfishness, egalitarianism is a central part of Christian doctrine but choosing to follow Jesus is a process ... and I have a weird sense of humour.
- Cthulhu_ 8y ago
  It's hard because those are all organized events - in early years, you can just idk, throw some beer around and hang out, order a pizza, but as an adult there are Expectations that it's a set table, you cook yourself, you make sure your house is presentable, etc. When younger, you just hang out; as an adult it's almost like dating, you want to make an impression. It's a lot more formal because you're not poor anymore.
  - monksy 8y ago
    Nope. Not even close. The worst part of this is that you have to make sure your house is clean. Food, get people to chip in, alcohol get people to bring their own drinks. If you're having to bend over backwards to impress people, they're not your friends and they won't be.
- asdsa5325 8y ago
  I invite them out, they say they're busy. Adults are busy.

When's the last time you invited someone out to lunch? When's the last time you invited people out for drinks or to your place? When's the last time you threw a party? That's literally how hard it is. Do stuff with people.

your-nanny 8y ago
It's hard because they don't have the time either. Kids, soccer practice, gym, and so on. For a lot of people in a lot of places not called the bay area, people move to a town and find themselves a church. The church organizes provides all kinds of opportunities to socialize and make friends in a non competitive in-group sort of way. I'm not religious, and think that organizing life around church can promote certain myopic attitudes, but I can see how this kind of access to an egalitarian community of worship can really have benefits
- monksy 8y ago
  Find a way to involve the community in with your chores. You've mentioned one of the biggest values of churches. They still exist in the bay area even if they aren't "cool"
- pbhjpbhj 8y ago
  >I can see how this kind of access to an egalitarian community of worship / Lol, you can tell you're not a churchgoer ... /jk (but not entirely)
  - your-nanny 8y ago
    You are correct, but I wonder what about the quoted text made you laugh
    - pbhjpbhj 8y ago
      Christians are still sinful, prone to pride and selfishness, egalitarianism is a central part of Christian doctrine but choosing to follow Jesus is a process ... and I have a weird sense of humour.
Cthulhu_ 8y ago
It's hard because those are all organized events - in early years, you can just idk, throw some beer around and hang out, order a pizza, but as an adult there are Expectations that it's a set table, you cook yourself, you make sure your house is presentable, etc. When younger, you just hang out; as an adult it's almost like dating, you want to make an impression. It's a lot more formal because you're not poor anymore.
- monksy 8y ago
  Nope. Not even close. The worst part of this is that you have to make sure your house is clean. Food, get people to chip in, alcohol get people to bring their own drinks. If you're having to bend over backwards to impress people, they're not your friends and they won't be.
asdsa5325 8y ago
I invite them out, they say they're busy. Adults are busy.