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Why is it hard to make friends? ---- Answer: You don't put effort into doing that.
by monksy 9y ago
Why is it hard to make friends?
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Answer: You don't put effort into doing that.
- asdsa5325 9y agoBut if you do put in effort, it's still hard
- monksy 9y agoWhen's the last time you invited someone out to lunch? When's the last time you invited people out for drinks or to your place? When's the last time you threw a party? That's literally how hard it is. Do stuff with people.
- your-nanny 9y agoIt's hard because they don't have the time either. Kids, soccer practice, gym, and so on. For a lot of people in a lot of places not called the bay area, people move to a town and find themselves a church. The church organizes provides all kinds of opportunities to socialize and make friends in a non competitive in-group sort of way. I'm not religious, and think that organizing life around church can promote certain myopic attitudes, but I can see how this kind of access to an egalitarian community of worship can really have benefits
- monksy 9y agoFind a way to involve the community in with your chores. You've mentioned one of the biggest values of churches. They still exist in the bay area even if they aren't "cool"
- pbhjpbhj 9y ago>I can see how this kind of access to an egalitarian community of worship / Lol, you can tell you're not a churchgoer ... /jk (but not entirely)
- your-nanny 9y agoYou are correct, but I wonder what about the quoted text made you laugh
- pbhjpbhj 9y agoChristians are still sinful, prone to pride and selfishness, egalitarianism is a central part of Christian doctrine but choosing to follow Jesus is a process ... and I have a weird sense of humour.
- Cthulhu_ 9y agoIt's hard because those are all organized events - in early years, you can just idk, throw some beer around and hang out, order a pizza, but as an adult there are Expectations that it's a set table, you cook yourself, you make sure your house is presentable, etc. When younger, you just hang out; as an adult it's almost like dating, you want to make an impression. It's a lot more formal because you're not poor anymore.
- monksy 9y agoNope. Not even close. The worst part of this is that you have to make sure your house is clean. Food, get people to chip in, alcohol get people to bring their own drinks. If you're having to bend over backwards to impress people, they're not your friends and they won't be.
- asdsa5325 8y agoI invite them out, they say they're busy. Adults are busy.
- stuartaxelowen 9y agoI see it happen first hand - the people that make friends are the ones that grab them, and don't let them go. If you push through the uncertainty and trepidation that happens early in every relationship, you'll find you've made friends thankful of your persistence.
- therealdrag0 9y agoPartly because, growing up you didn't have to put in effort. Later on in life there are different social mechanics that not everyone readily adjusts to.