6 ms·

As somebody who doesn't use Facebook, it's going to be damned annoying if everyone disappears off the existing dating apps and into the Facebook ecosystem. It's

As somebody who doesn't use Facebook, it's going to be damned annoying if everyone disappears off the existing dating apps and into the Facebook ecosystem. It's becoming an evolutionary disadvantage to be off Facebook.

ikeyany 8y ago
As is Facebook's intention.
elsonrodriguez 8y ago
> It's becoming an evolutionary disadvantage to be off Facebook. This is the most chilling thing I've read in a while.
- bigphishy 8y ago
  The only evolutionary disadvantage is your attitude. Time spent thumbing through selfies on a dating app on a 2.5" by 5" screen, is less effective ( from a sexually reproductive standpoint ) than going up and introducing yourself to members of the opposite sex. But then again, we can throw any biological theories of evolution out the windows, because you're more than likely using contraceptives at any rate.
  - batiudrami 8y ago
    except that with a facebook account you can do both
  - toxik 8y ago
    Honestly though who goes up to women and asks their number in this day and age? I'm sure it happens but these kinds of interactions have moved into the phone.
    - rxhernandez 8y ago
      Are you really serious? People who leave their homes on weekends and enjoy a nightlife? I mean, what do you think happens at clubs and bars; do you think they've emptied out because of dating apps?
      - toxik 8y ago
        I think most people who go out to those places do so with friends, not as an alternative to dating. The question is, do you think people only go out to bars and clubs to find a partner or one night stand?
  - leadingthenet 8y ago
    That kind of interaction just doesn’t happen in Europe, for instance.
godelski 8y ago
My real fear is that Facebook is starting to look a lot like WeChat. There are certainly advantages to such mega apps, but I think more danger.
adrianratnapala 8y ago
If it makes you feel better, I am not on any existing dating app. I met the love of my life last year, on email.
- mynegation 8y ago
  Email? Do tell!
- always_good 8y ago
  Well, I know people who met on World of Warcraft and Tibia. But there are obviously more efficient ways to meet people who may be interested in you.
  - adrianratnapala 8y ago
    Don't be too sure. WoW is probably a great place to meet potential friends, because of a commonality of thought. Dates might not be common, but I am thinking of compatibility once it does happen. If two people are out on a first date who met over WoW, they probably have better long term chances than people who met on a real dating site. (Admittedly, people who met on Tinder might have excellent chances of getting what they want; assuming that's nothing to do with the long term).
    - komali2 8y ago
      Using tinder / bumble / coffee meets bagel, you can easily and quickly cycle through lots of coffee dates until you meet someone worth moving forward with. The bandwidth is so much higher than anything we've had before, including video games. My partner and I met via Tinder after both of us had cycled through a lot of dates, and we catch ourselves saying "god damn are we lucky" over and over and over again. They say you make your own luck by increasing your surface area, yea?
      - whatshisface 8y ago
        The idea of scanning the crowd for your final soulmate is very specific to our culture. I have to ask, if that's the right model, then why doesn't it seem to have been the case that the massive migrations to cities over the past century spawned a never-before-seen blossoming of more perfect love? Surely, if the number of strangers someone meets in a lifetime has been skyrocketing, the number of people who had found perfect partners would have gone up with it. We'd be living in times that'd make us look back on romantic poets as stodgy. Sometimes, I wonder if the whole "we got lucky," thing was just that they did get lucky, but only for long enough to bootstrap them into having spent enough time around each other to get attached. My experience of human nature is that everyone is actually really, really close to the same once you get to know them.
Thriptic 8y ago
I hadn't thought about it like that, but there is truth to this. Even many third party online dating services (CMB for example) explicitly require Facebook accounts currently.
- brian-armstrong 8y ago
  Yeah but fake accounts have always worked in that case
hrktb 8y ago
If we’re talking evolution, it just means other dating apps will become more and more specialized niches. Just as there is a dozen of hyperactive “technology” subreddits and I don’t know what’s the equivalent on facebook (communities), but we’re still discussing it on HN.
mythrwy 8y ago
It's a selection signal for sure. One I'd personally select against. If you are advertising your mating availability on Facebook, we probably aren't compatible. But that's not to say this won't do well. It probably will.
jehlakj 8y ago
It’s disadvantageous even if you do have Facebook based on a number of factors. 1. You gotta be pretty photogenic. This is a very strange one because I find more people more attractive in real life than in photos. The people who do look appealing in photos tend to have more angular faces and better proportions, but honestly in the end what matters most is how we look in real life. 2. You’re at an advantage if you’re extroverted and have pictures of you attending many social events. A good number of “friends” that you randomly hang out with helps too. 3. If you want to stand out, you better hope you have a close friend who is at least a hobby level photographer and goes out to most places with you. Yea, I’m screwed. I never prepared myself to have an outstanding social presence, and it’s too late at this point.
- sp3000 8y ago
  It's never too late for anything, my friend. You can be in an even worse situation a few years from now or you can decide to start making some changes today.
- neumann 8y ago
  That's what http://lifefaker.com http://lifefaker.com is for!
  - dest 8y ago
    Amazing link, thanks!
  - midasz 8y ago
    This could be straight off an in-game GTA website, brilliant.
    - zerostar07 8y ago
      that one is LifeInvader i think
gamw_mana_sou 8y ago
I don't use a smartphone so it's not easy to use tinder et al. I feel apps or websites which are exclusive to dating have something weird about them. Facebook tries to become the kitchen sink of the internet, like that company from China.

ikeyany 8y ago

As is Facebook's intention.

elsonrodriguez 8y ago

> It's becoming an evolutionary disadvantage to be off Facebook. This is the most chilling thing I've read in a while.

bigphishy 8y ago
The only evolutionary disadvantage is your attitude. Time spent thumbing through selfies on a dating app on a 2.5" by 5" screen, is less effective ( from a sexually reproductive standpoint ) than going up and introducing yourself to members of the opposite sex. But then again, we can throw any biological theories of evolution out the windows, because you're more than likely using contraceptives at any rate.
- batiudrami 8y ago
  except that with a facebook account you can do both
- toxik 8y ago
  Honestly though who goes up to women and asks their number in this day and age? I'm sure it happens but these kinds of interactions have moved into the phone.
  - rxhernandez 8y ago
    Are you really serious? People who leave their homes on weekends and enjoy a nightlife? I mean, what do you think happens at clubs and bars; do you think they've emptied out because of dating apps?
    - toxik 8y ago
      I think most people who go out to those places do so with friends, not as an alternative to dating. The question is, do you think people only go out to bars and clubs to find a partner or one night stand?
- leadingthenet 8y ago
  That kind of interaction just doesn’t happen in Europe, for instance.

godelski 8y ago

My real fear is that Facebook is starting to look a lot like WeChat. There are certainly advantages to such mega apps, but I think more danger.

adrianratnapala 8y ago

If it makes you feel better, I am not on any existing dating app. I met the love of my life last year, on email.

mynegation 8y ago
Email? Do tell!
always_good 8y ago
Well, I know people who met on World of Warcraft and Tibia. But there are obviously more efficient ways to meet people who may be interested in you.
- adrianratnapala 8y ago
  Don't be too sure. WoW is probably a great place to meet potential friends, because of a commonality of thought. Dates might not be common, but I am thinking of compatibility once it does happen. If two people are out on a first date who met over WoW, they probably have better long term chances than people who met on a real dating site. (Admittedly, people who met on Tinder might have excellent chances of getting what they want; assuming that's nothing to do with the long term).
  - komali2 8y ago
    Using tinder / bumble / coffee meets bagel, you can easily and quickly cycle through lots of coffee dates until you meet someone worth moving forward with. The bandwidth is so much higher than anything we've had before, including video games. My partner and I met via Tinder after both of us had cycled through a lot of dates, and we catch ourselves saying "god damn are we lucky" over and over and over again. They say you make your own luck by increasing your surface area, yea?
    - whatshisface 8y ago
      The idea of scanning the crowd for your final soulmate is very specific to our culture. I have to ask, if that's the right model, then why doesn't it seem to have been the case that the massive migrations to cities over the past century spawned a never-before-seen blossoming of more perfect love? Surely, if the number of strangers someone meets in a lifetime has been skyrocketing, the number of people who had found perfect partners would have gone up with it. We'd be living in times that'd make us look back on romantic poets as stodgy. Sometimes, I wonder if the whole "we got lucky," thing was just that they did get lucky, but only for long enough to bootstrap them into having spent enough time around each other to get attached. My experience of human nature is that everyone is actually really, really close to the same once you get to know them.

Thriptic 8y ago

I hadn't thought about it like that, but there is truth to this. Even many third party online dating services (CMB for example) explicitly require Facebook accounts currently.

brian-armstrong 8y ago
Yeah but fake accounts have always worked in that case

hrktb 8y ago

If we’re talking evolution, it just means other dating apps will become more and more specialized niches. Just as there is a dozen of hyperactive “technology” subreddits and I don’t know what’s the equivalent on facebook (communities), but we’re still discussing it on HN.

mythrwy 8y ago

It's a selection signal for sure. One I'd personally select against. If you are advertising your mating availability on Facebook, we probably aren't compatible. But that's not to say this won't do well. It probably will.

jehlakj 8y ago

It’s disadvantageous even if you do have Facebook based on a number of factors. 1. You gotta be pretty photogenic. This is a very strange one because I find more people more attractive in real life than in photos. The people who do look appealing in photos tend to have more angular faces and better proportions, but honestly in the end what matters most is how we look in real life. 2. You’re at an advantage if you’re extroverted and have pictures of you attending many social events. A good number of “friends” that you randomly hang out with helps too. 3. If you want to stand out, you better hope you have a close friend who is at least a hobby level photographer and goes out to most places with you. Yea, I’m screwed. I never prepared myself to have an outstanding social presence, and it’s too late at this point.

sp3000 8y ago
It's never too late for anything, my friend. You can be in an even worse situation a few years from now or you can decide to start making some changes today.
neumann 8y ago
That's what http://lifefaker.com http://lifefaker.com is for!
- dest 8y ago
  Amazing link, thanks!
- midasz 8y ago
  This could be straight off an in-game GTA website, brilliant.
  - zerostar07 8y ago
    that one is LifeInvader i think

gamw_mana_sou 8y ago

I don't use a smartphone so it's not easy to use tinder et al. I feel apps or websites which are exclusive to dating have something weird about them. Facebook tries to become the kitchen sink of the internet, like that company from China.