4 ms·

This "must be busy" mindset and 50+ hour work weeks is so utterly alien and wrong to me, and I'm glad I feel this way. I would never let a job get in the way o

This "must be busy" mindset and 50+ hour work weeks is so utterly alien and wrong to me, and I'm glad I feel this way. I would never let a job get in the way of family and social experiences, in the way of my life. Relaxation and leisure time is absolutely non-negotiable for me, I would never give up on a concert or culinary experience or anything else for something as mundane as work. I think this mindset has also gifted me with more patience and more ability to not be bored, compared to most of my peers. Luckily, all of my friends share my mindset, anyone too work-obsessed simply doesn't fit in for long. I am a slacker, and I enjoy it very much.

roma1n 9y ago
Thanks so much for that :) I needed to hear that I'm not alone in this.
mrhappyunhappy 9y ago
Privelaged white older male identified. Not all of us find work mundane and not all of us can afford the luxury of leisure yet alone choice in friends. Congratulations and enjoying your laid back life!
- dang 9y ago
  Personal attacks aren't ok here. Whatever substantive point you want to make, I'm sure you can make it thoughtfully and without stooping to this if you want to. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
marak830 9y ago
I am the same as you, alas I cannot afford not to work the hours I do (for which I have copped quite a bit of flack on HN about). I do wonder why people who can afford to spend time with their family and not work 60-70 hours per week, actually do. I can only imagine it would be that they really enjoy their work that much, or their in a culture such as here in Japan where you stay until the boss leaves - or else. (Not my situation, I'm a chef, stupid hours in my industry).
- psyc 9y ago
  I'm terrified of letting people into my life, and the biggest reason is I'm afraid they'll cut into my work time. Now, sure, there's probably a bunch of Freudian damage that's gone into this. But however I got this way, I am this way, and I don't mind.
  - phkahler 9y ago
    >> But however I got this way, I am this way, and I don't mind. You might want to work on that stuff before it catches up to you in ways you don't anticipate.
  - KozmoNau7 9y ago
    I couldn't imagine living like that, with no room for friends and leisure.
  - wu-ikkyu 9y ago
    May I ask what you do for work? And how fulfilled you are by it?
    - psyc 9y ago
      Game programmer. 8/10 fulfillment and climbing.
      - wu-ikkyu 9y ago
        How is your relationship with your coworkers?
        psyc 9y ago
        I mostly work alone, as of the past few years. Occasionally take consulting work or contracts. When I do have coworkers, my relationship with them is typically good to very good.
- phkahler 9y ago
justaguyhere 9y ago
I guess people work long hours out of necessity. Where I work, there are people who regularly put in 12 hour days, and even work at the weekend. This puts pressure on other people and makes the overall culture bad. At least in software dev, we have some choices. There aren't that many choices for people in other professions. It is put up or leave situation, and people end up with long hours.
Aaargh20318 9y ago
> I would never let a job get in the way of family and social experiences, in the way of my life. For some people there is little choice. I have a limited mental budget for social experiences. Spending 40hr/week at the office already over-extends this budget, resulting in no social life whatsoever.
- reitanqild 9y ago
  That's actually a really unusual, interesting and maybe also useful way to look at it. Thanks!
phkahler 9y ago
My office recently moved across town so I started going in early to beat traffic. I also started leaving early. Leaving early felt strange until I made a conscious decision to embrace it as a sort of healthy difference between me and the others that stay until 5 or 6. Recently I've been slipping and staying longer for "work reasons". The negative impact on my drive and home life is obvious enough to get me back on track and out the door by 3 or 3:30.
api 9y ago
As mentioned elsewhere in this thread part of it is economic but part of it is also a macho business culture that views overwork as a status symbol. It's really bad in some professions. If we think engineers and tech businesspeople have it bad talk to an architect.
- KozmoNau7 9y ago
  Exactly, I think it's some sort of twisted pride — "I work more than you, so I'm superior to you" — and a remnant of Protestant work ethic. Work hard in this life, to be rewarded in the eternal afterlife. It has lost its religious connection, but the attitude remains. I'll stay half an hour or an hour beyond by nominal working hours, if I have a time critical task that depends on me, but I'll compensate for it the next day. And I won't do it if it conflicts with my life outside of work. Then the work will simply have to be delayed a bit. Luckily, I have only ever had colleagues and managers who understand this 100%. I've even had a few tell me directly that they wish they could have the same attitude and take better care of themselves.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
personlurking 9y ago
> I am a slacker, and I enjoy it very much. I like to say I'm discovery-oriented rather than goal-oriented. Being so means I also seek to avoid being overworked because I don't know how to not prioritize discovery. I've tried joining work with pleasure but I find it doesn't lead to good things.
- KozmoNau7 9y ago
  That is actually a very good way to describe it, thanks :)

roma1n 9y ago

Thanks so much for that :) I needed to hear that I'm not alone in this.

mrhappyunhappy 9y ago

Privelaged white older male identified. Not all of us find work mundane and not all of us can afford the luxury of leisure yet alone choice in friends. Congratulations and enjoying your laid back life!

dang 9y ago
Personal attacks aren't ok here. Whatever substantive point you want to make, I'm sure you can make it thoughtfully and without stooping to this if you want to. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

marak830 9y ago

I am the same as you, alas I cannot afford not to work the hours I do (for which I have copped quite a bit of flack on HN about). I do wonder why people who can afford to spend time with their family and not work 60-70 hours per week, actually do. I can only imagine it would be that they really enjoy their work that much, or their in a culture such as here in Japan where you stay until the boss leaves - or else. (Not my situation, I'm a chef, stupid hours in my industry).

psyc 9y ago
I'm terrified of letting people into my life, and the biggest reason is I'm afraid they'll cut into my work time. Now, sure, there's probably a bunch of Freudian damage that's gone into this. But however I got this way, I am this way, and I don't mind.
- phkahler 9y ago
  >> But however I got this way, I am this way, and I don't mind. You might want to work on that stuff before it catches up to you in ways you don't anticipate.
- KozmoNau7 9y ago
  I couldn't imagine living like that, with no room for friends and leisure.
- wu-ikkyu 9y ago
  May I ask what you do for work? And how fulfilled you are by it?
  - psyc 9y ago
    Game programmer. 8/10 fulfillment and climbing.
    - wu-ikkyu 9y ago
      How is your relationship with your coworkers?
      - psyc 9y ago
        I mostly work alone, as of the past few years. Occasionally take consulting work or contracts. When I do have coworkers, my relationship with them is typically good to very good.
phkahler 9y ago

justaguyhere 9y ago

I guess people work long hours out of necessity. Where I work, there are people who regularly put in 12 hour days, and even work at the weekend. This puts pressure on other people and makes the overall culture bad. At least in software dev, we have some choices. There aren't that many choices for people in other professions. It is put up or leave situation, and people end up with long hours.

Aaargh20318 9y ago

> I would never let a job get in the way of family and social experiences, in the way of my life. For some people there is little choice. I have a limited mental budget for social experiences. Spending 40hr/week at the office already over-extends this budget, resulting in no social life whatsoever.

reitanqild 9y ago
That's actually a really unusual, interesting and maybe also useful way to look at it. Thanks!

phkahler 9y ago

My office recently moved across town so I started going in early to beat traffic. I also started leaving early. Leaving early felt strange until I made a conscious decision to embrace it as a sort of healthy difference between me and the others that stay until 5 or 6. Recently I've been slipping and staying longer for "work reasons". The negative impact on my drive and home life is obvious enough to get me back on track and out the door by 3 or 3:30.

api 9y ago

As mentioned elsewhere in this thread part of it is economic but part of it is also a macho business culture that views overwork as a status symbol. It's really bad in some professions. If we think engineers and tech businesspeople have it bad talk to an architect.

KozmoNau7 9y ago
Exactly, I think it's some sort of twisted pride — "I work more than you, so I'm superior to you" — and a remnant of Protestant work ethic. Work hard in this life, to be rewarded in the eternal afterlife. It has lost its religious connection, but the attitude remains. I'll stay half an hour or an hour beyond by nominal working hours, if I have a time critical task that depends on me, but I'll compensate for it the next day. And I won't do it if it conflicts with my life outside of work. Then the work will simply have to be delayed a bit. Luckily, I have only ever had colleagues and managers who understand this 100%. I've even had a few tell me directly that they wish they could have the same attitude and take better care of themselves.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

personlurking 9y ago

> I am a slacker, and I enjoy it very much. I like to say I'm discovery-oriented rather than goal-oriented. Being so means I also seek to avoid being overworked because I don't know how to not prioritize discovery. I've tried joining work with pleasure but I find it doesn't lead to good things.

KozmoNau7 9y ago
That is actually a very good way to describe it, thanks :)