5 ms·

But it's kind of a fuck you to everyone else.

by RK 16y ago

Groxx 16y ago
Just to everyone else who's less important. So yes, everyone.
iamwil 16y ago
That's fine. Will you be by his side on his sick bed? Will his wife? Whomever it is, I would think is more important.
patio11 16y ago
Recently I went to Tokyo for some business, including a presentation. My brother is having a tough time at the moment. I told him to call me if he needed me. He asked if it wouldn't disrupt business. I told him that I didn't care if I was in front of two hundred people and the Emperor: if he needs me, I will walk out, because he is my brother. I do not feel that it is impolite to be very, very strict about keeping my commitments. Indeed, to the extent I successfully do so, that makes me a better person to do business with. And as an honest businessman, I'll tell you: there is no price, monetary or otherwise, at which I am willing to sell an SLA which trumps my family. If you require one, seek other providers.
- BvS 16y ago
  I agree you did the right thing especially because you mentioned him having a bad time, but allways taking any call from a special person no matter what... Imagine if you are talking to a good friend who is having a hard time and are interrupted because your brothers calls to aks if you want to come the game next sunday?
- Poiesis 16y ago
  I'm sure you are familiar with the idea that family members often don't know your schedule, so they can't/don't, say, decide not to call just to shoot the breeze in the middle of your presentation. Do you handle this by letting every call from family interrupt whatever you're doing, however important? It's mostly impossible to determine the importance of a call before answering it in my experience.
  - patio11 16y ago
    I let them make the call (literally). I have a phone secretary (Twilio app). It parcels the day out into ... and you just got bumped by Mom in the middle of this post... times when I'm available, sleeping, and busy. If I'm available, it puts the caller through to my house or cell as appropriate. If I'm sleeping, it gently reminds them what time it is in Japan and asks if I should get woken up. If I am at work/etc, it tells them and asks if I should get taken out of whatever I'm doing. v1.0 of this app was on my blog a long time ago. I've enhanced it a little bit over the last couple of months, but as a tech demo for the phenomenal life-enhancing power of Twilio it still works: http://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/01/15/deploying-sinatra-on-ubuntu-in-which-i-employ-a-secretary/ http://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/01/15/deploying-sinatra-on-ubu...
smartrly 16y ago
It's only a 'fuck you' if you truly believe that you deserve priority over my wife.
- pbhjpbhj 16y ago
  If I'm brokering a multi-billion pound deal with you to relieve hunger in half the third world and your wife is ringing to ask when the dogs appointment to be wormed is .. then yes. It's not about priority. If someone stops talking to their partner to talk to their boss it's not because they love their boss more.
  - smartrly 16y ago
    It's all about trusting that other people have decent understanding of whether or not an interruption is warranted. I don't have the sort of wife who interrupts me during work hours or whilst on business trips with trivial things, so I can trust that if she initiated such a call she believes that I'll be glad I was interrupted. The question about the dog would most certainly arrive via email. As to your other point, I worked with a lot of people over the years, and if I trusted their judgment then I picked up their calls whilst at home. If they had a track record of calling me with non-urgent items that would've been better dealt with at a later point in time, they went to voicemail which I listened to at my convenience. So truly, if you're offended when I answer my wife's calls, that's your problem. ---- edit: real life addendum. When my wife's father died while I was on a business trip, she not only didn't call me, she tried to pretend nothing was wrong when we talked that night, because she felt it was more important that I be 100% on my game for the final day of my trip, than that she have my comfort a day early. There are some people who are thoughtless about the impact they have on their partner's careers. My wife is not one of them. If she called me during your utterly ridiculous hypothetical scenario, it would be because of something equally ridiculous. Perhaps she found out you're a hitman. So again... if you're bothered by my wife calling you, that's your problem. Deal with it.
    - pbhjpbhj 16y ago
      >Perhaps she found out you're a hitman. It was the moustache wasn't it .. can't believe she saw through it.
lelele 16y ago
Another person being more important is not a "fuck you".
deleted 16y ago
[deleted]
weego 16y ago
Surely "I don't take you for granted" is a more important message to your other half than what someone else might think. When I first started out in business I always noticed how guys at the office would be sorting out doing something for Valentines and then the day after would be complaining how expensive everything was. I have never done anything for Valentines in the 7 years I've been with my better half. Every day I appreciate her being there and make sure she knows it. If I felt the need to make an effort once a year, surely instead of feeling good about it I should be feeling guilty about clearly not having done enough for the rest of the year...

But it's kind of a fuck you to everyone else.

by RK 16y ago

But it's kind of a fuck you to everyone else.

Groxx 16y ago

Just to everyone else who's less important. So yes, everyone.

iamwil 16y ago

That's fine. Will you be by his side on his sick bed? Will his wife? Whomever it is, I would think is more important.

patio11 16y ago

Recently I went to Tokyo for some business, including a presentation. My brother is having a tough time at the moment. I told him to call me if he needed me. He asked if it wouldn't disrupt business. I told him that I didn't care if I was in front of two hundred people and the Emperor: if he needs me, I will walk out, because he is my brother. I do not feel that it is impolite to be very, very strict about keeping my commitments. Indeed, to the extent I successfully do so, that makes me a better person to do business with. And as an honest businessman, I'll tell you: there is no price, monetary or otherwise, at which I am willing to sell an SLA which trumps my family. If you require one, seek other providers.

BvS 16y ago
I agree you did the right thing especially because you mentioned him having a bad time, but allways taking any call from a special person no matter what... Imagine if you are talking to a good friend who is having a hard time and are interrupted because your brothers calls to aks if you want to come the game next sunday?
Poiesis 16y ago
I'm sure you are familiar with the idea that family members often don't know your schedule, so they can't/don't, say, decide not to call just to shoot the breeze in the middle of your presentation. Do you handle this by letting every call from family interrupt whatever you're doing, however important? It's mostly impossible to determine the importance of a call before answering it in my experience.
- patio11 16y ago
  I let them make the call (literally). I have a phone secretary (Twilio app). It parcels the day out into ... and you just got bumped by Mom in the middle of this post... times when I'm available, sleeping, and busy. If I'm available, it puts the caller through to my house or cell as appropriate. If I'm sleeping, it gently reminds them what time it is in Japan and asks if I should get woken up. If I am at work/etc, it tells them and asks if I should get taken out of whatever I'm doing. v1.0 of this app was on my blog a long time ago. I've enhanced it a little bit over the last couple of months, but as a tech demo for the phenomenal life-enhancing power of Twilio it still works: http://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/01/15/deploying-sinatra-on-ubuntu-in-which-i-employ-a-secretary/ http://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/01/15/deploying-sinatra-on-ubu...

smartrly 16y ago

It's only a 'fuck you' if you truly believe that you deserve priority over my wife.

pbhjpbhj 16y ago
If I'm brokering a multi-billion pound deal with you to relieve hunger in half the third world and your wife is ringing to ask when the dogs appointment to be wormed is .. then yes. It's not about priority. If someone stops talking to their partner to talk to their boss it's not because they love their boss more.
- smartrly 16y ago
  It's all about trusting that other people have decent understanding of whether or not an interruption is warranted. I don't have the sort of wife who interrupts me during work hours or whilst on business trips with trivial things, so I can trust that if she initiated such a call she believes that I'll be glad I was interrupted. The question about the dog would most certainly arrive via email. As to your other point, I worked with a lot of people over the years, and if I trusted their judgment then I picked up their calls whilst at home. If they had a track record of calling me with non-urgent items that would've been better dealt with at a later point in time, they went to voicemail which I listened to at my convenience. So truly, if you're offended when I answer my wife's calls, that's your problem. ---- edit: real life addendum. When my wife's father died while I was on a business trip, she not only didn't call me, she tried to pretend nothing was wrong when we talked that night, because she felt it was more important that I be 100% on my game for the final day of my trip, than that she have my comfort a day early. There are some people who are thoughtless about the impact they have on their partner's careers. My wife is not one of them. If she called me during your utterly ridiculous hypothetical scenario, it would be because of something equally ridiculous. Perhaps she found out you're a hitman. So again... if you're bothered by my wife calling you, that's your problem. Deal with it.
  - pbhjpbhj 16y ago
    >Perhaps she found out you're a hitman. It was the moustache wasn't it .. can't believe she saw through it.

lelele 16y ago

Another person being more important is not a "fuck you".

deleted 16y ago

[deleted]

weego 16y ago

Surely "I don't take you for granted" is a more important message to your other half than what someone else might think. When I first started out in business I always noticed how guys at the office would be sorting out doing something for Valentines and then the day after would be complaining how expensive everything was. I have never done anything for Valentines in the 7 years I've been with my better half. Every day I appreciate her being there and make sure she knows it. If I felt the need to make an effort once a year, surely instead of feeling good about it I should be feeling guilty about clearly not having done enough for the rest of the year...