6 ms·

Four Minutes in the Morning

172 points by px 16y ago

captainbenis 16y ago
I've spent four minutes with myself every morning since I was 15. YARRR!
smoody 16y ago
I know Brad and I've honestly never met anyone more in love with a significant other than he is (and visa versa). I would strongly recommend taking any and all of his relationship advice (and finding the perfect mate for you also helps :-). I am going to start this ritual tomorrow.
- ptuzla 16y ago
  You may need to convince your significant other for that though.
tyng 16y ago
Thanks for sharing this. As entrepreneurs we (especially myself) tend to forget about the importance of the support we receive from our partners. But, life just isn't quite complete without spending quality time with our "other half". Four minutes a morning is definitely worth the effort!
michaelfairley 16y ago
Brad also has a policy of answering his phone when his wife calls, no matter what. (He checked his phone mid-sentence when it rang while he was speaking at Google I/O). I think it's awesome that he has his priorities in life set out so clearly.
- hugh3 16y ago
  Clever policy, cuz it'll stop his wife from calling him unless it's actually important.
- ggchappell 16y ago
  It's great that he places such a high priority on his relationship with his wife, but I'd say that answering no matter what is a bad idea. Being respectful of the people we deal with often requires us to give them distraction-free attention. And that can mean not answering the phone, no matter what.
  - theBobMcCormick 16y ago
    I think the point is that he's decided his wife is more important than anyone else he deals with, no matter what. I for one respect that.
    - RK 16y ago
      But it's kind of a fuck you to everyone else.
      - Groxx 16y ago
        Just to everyone else who's less important. So yes, everyone.
      - iamwil 16y ago
        That's fine. Will you be by his side on his sick bed? Will his wife? Whomever it is, I would think is more important.
      - patio11 16y ago
        Recently I went to Tokyo for some business, including a presentation. My brother is having a tough time at the moment. I told him to call me if he needed me. He asked if it wouldn't disrupt business. I told him that I didn't care if I was in front of two hundred people and the Emperor: if he needs me, I will walk out, because he is my brother. I do not feel that it is impolite to be very, very strict about keeping my commitments. Indeed, to the extent I successfully do so, that makes me a better person to do business with. And as an honest businessman, I'll tell you: there is no price, monetary or otherwise, at which I am willing to sell an SLA which trumps my family. If you require one, seek other providers.
- imack 16y ago
  When I was in my last year of school and attending a bunch of recruiting events there was one CEO from a mid-sized consultancy who impressed us all by taking a call from his wife in the middle of his presentation in front of couple hundred students. He'd get the whole group to say hi to her and then said he'd phone her back, hang up, and continue with his presentation. Gave a good sense for the work/life balance. Of course, we then heard that every term he gives that recruiting talk and every time his wife calls right in the middle... I kind of became enamoured with his evil genius ways.
  - cema 16y ago
    I kind of became enamoured with his evil genius ways. I think I would not. Screw manipulators.
    - Confusion 16y ago
      You have no reason to suppose he was being manipulative. You'll be happier thinking good things about people, instead of second-guessing everything they do.
      - pbhjpbhj 16y ago
        >>Of course, we then heard that every term he gives that recruiting talk and every time his wife calls right in the middle... >You have no reason to suppose he was being manipulative. Did you miss that bit?
        Confusion 16y ago
        No, but I rather believe he honestly feels such a thing should be possible and wished to demonstrate that such a thing was acceptable to him. The folks that didn't find out it was set up, may live happier lives because of that demonstration.
    - daniel-cussen 16y ago
      I'm hopeless at manipulation, but I know people who are really good at it. And like any skill one develops, one has a certain admiration for people who are good at it. Example: a friend was with his 10-year-old sister in a supermarket. He's in college. She wants junk food. He says, "No, we're having dinner soon." She starts screaming and pretending he's her father and doesn't ever give her or her mother any money. Everyone looks at him. He's like, OK, here's your junk food. And it was a good decision to manipulate him like this, because he ended up loving her more for it.
sandwich 16y ago
I don't think I understand. Is this the only time he spends with his wife? My S.O. gets upset if I don't spend at least an hour or two of quality time with them per day, let alone four minutes in the morning! If the only time we actually talked throughout the day to discuss our lives and problems was for a few minutes, I believe I'd find myself single. Am I in a weird relationship or something?
- michaelfairley 16y ago
  I think it's more that they have a bare minimum that they spend with each other, and only each other, with no exceptions. Too many couples spend hours together, but watching TV, or cooking, or any numerous other activities that distract them from just enjoying being with each other.
  - maukdaddy 16y ago
    I'd argue that watching TV together and cooking together are entirely different things. Passively watching TV and never talking is awful. Cooking together should involve interacting, talking, asking questions, conversation, etc.
- nwomack 16y ago
  I think it's not necessarily the only time he spends with his wife, except when he's travelling. I think the key words here are "morning" and "100% focused on each other".
  - pbhjpbhj 16y ago
    There's no way I'm 100% focussed on anything in the morning.
- tyng 16y ago
  It's about having a special moment with your partner, a moment that's devoted to nothing but each other.
samiq 16y ago
I just hang up on my gf who is, literally, in the other side of the world (i'm in seoul, she is in costa rica) and were discussing the same stuff. we work together, at the distance, she spent the first 7 months of this year here with me and now we have a few months aside... and quality time, distraction-free, thru skype makes wonders and is needed no matter what. when were together here we'd go to momments of solitud where we'd focus on each other, this not only made us relax and forget about all the project's stuff it nurtured our relationship. I don't know if Brad's policy of answering the phone is wrong or good, but seriously guys work is just a mean to be happy... been with ur SO is been happy. I think us as entrepreneurs will tend to let ourselves go with all the crazy stuff that goes on launching a project or staying ahead of the google's, apple's and facebook's stilling our thunder... but we cannot let all that take our life just as well. nice post and thanks for sharing!
- pbhjpbhj 16y ago
  >I just hang up on my gf who is, literally, in the other side of the world (i'm in seoul, she is in costa rica) and were discussing the same stuff. Hope you finished the conversation first. ;0)
JoeAltmaier 16y ago
Your spouse is (should be) your anchor, your foundation, your one trusted person in the world. You get to have a special relationship with that person. You get to give it priority over everything else, unconditionally. Other people, if they're wise, know this and make accomodation for it.
salemh 16y ago
Similar to his talk at TEDxBoulder, CO some weeks back (which I attended): Quarterly Week off the Grid. One solid week away with his wife: no cell, laptop, etc. http://www.feld.com/wp/archives/2009/03/the-rhythms-of-life.html http://www.feld.com/wp/archives/2009/03/the-rhythms-of-life.... http://boulderreporter.com/tedxboulder-lets-hear-it-for-the-creatives/ http://boulderreporter.com/tedxboulder-lets-hear-it-for-the-... Good prioritizing in a routine, but the argument becomes..is "4 minutes" (4, 15, 1hr) / 1 week a quarter adequate? How about daily several hours with the people you love? Her opinion?
- Revisor 16y ago
  I think it's understood that by these rules you ensure the minimal time spent with the important people. Neither the 4 minutes a day, nor the 1 week a quarter are adequate, they just build the low threshhold in stressful times.

172 points by px 16y ago

I've spent four minutes with myself every morning since I was 15. YARRR!

I know Brad and I've honestly never met anyone more in love with a significant other than he is (and visa versa). I would strongly recommend taking any and all of his relationship advice (and finding the perfect mate for you also helps :-). I am going to start this ritual tomorrow.

ptuzla 16y ago
You may need to convince your significant other for that though.

tyng 16y ago

Thanks for sharing this. As entrepreneurs we (especially myself) tend to forget about the importance of the support we receive from our partners. But, life just isn't quite complete without spending quality time with our "other half". Four minutes a morning is definitely worth the effort!

michaelfairley 16y ago

Brad also has a policy of answering his phone when his wife calls, no matter what. (He checked his phone mid-sentence when it rang while he was speaking at Google I/O). I think it's awesome that he has his priorities in life set out so clearly.

hugh3 16y ago
Clever policy, cuz it'll stop his wife from calling him unless it's actually important.
ggchappell 16y ago
It's great that he places such a high priority on his relationship with his wife, but I'd say that answering no matter what is a bad idea. Being respectful of the people we deal with often requires us to give them distraction-free attention. And that can mean not answering the phone, no matter what.
- theBobMcCormick 16y ago
  I think the point is that he's decided his wife is more important than anyone else he deals with, no matter what. I for one respect that.
  - RK 16y ago
    But it's kind of a fuck you to everyone else.
    - Groxx 16y ago
      Just to everyone else who's less important. So yes, everyone.
    - iamwil 16y ago
      That's fine. Will you be by his side on his sick bed? Will his wife? Whomever it is, I would think is more important.
    - patio11 16y ago
      Recently I went to Tokyo for some business, including a presentation. My brother is having a tough time at the moment. I told him to call me if he needed me. He asked if it wouldn't disrupt business. I told him that I didn't care if I was in front of two hundred people and the Emperor: if he needs me, I will walk out, because he is my brother. I do not feel that it is impolite to be very, very strict about keeping my commitments. Indeed, to the extent I successfully do so, that makes me a better person to do business with. And as an honest businessman, I'll tell you: there is no price, monetary or otherwise, at which I am willing to sell an SLA which trumps my family. If you require one, seek other providers.
imack 16y ago
When I was in my last year of school and attending a bunch of recruiting events there was one CEO from a mid-sized consultancy who impressed us all by taking a call from his wife in the middle of his presentation in front of couple hundred students. He'd get the whole group to say hi to her and then said he'd phone her back, hang up, and continue with his presentation. Gave a good sense for the work/life balance. Of course, we then heard that every term he gives that recruiting talk and every time his wife calls right in the middle... I kind of became enamoured with his evil genius ways.
- cema 16y ago
  I kind of became enamoured with his evil genius ways. I think I would not. Screw manipulators.
  - Confusion 16y ago
    You have no reason to suppose he was being manipulative. You'll be happier thinking good things about people, instead of second-guessing everything they do.
    - pbhjpbhj 16y ago
      >>Of course, we then heard that every term he gives that recruiting talk and every time his wife calls right in the middle... >You have no reason to suppose he was being manipulative. Did you miss that bit?
      - Confusion 16y ago
        No, but I rather believe he honestly feels such a thing should be possible and wished to demonstrate that such a thing was acceptable to him. The folks that didn't find out it was set up, may live happier lives because of that demonstration.
  - daniel-cussen 16y ago
    I'm hopeless at manipulation, but I know people who are really good at it. And like any skill one develops, one has a certain admiration for people who are good at it. Example: a friend was with his 10-year-old sister in a supermarket. He's in college. She wants junk food. He says, "No, we're having dinner soon." She starts screaming and pretending he's her father and doesn't ever give her or her mother any money. Everyone looks at him. He's like, OK, here's your junk food. And it was a good decision to manipulate him like this, because he ended up loving her more for it.

sandwich 16y ago

I don't think I understand. Is this the only time he spends with his wife? My S.O. gets upset if I don't spend at least an hour or two of quality time with them per day, let alone four minutes in the morning! If the only time we actually talked throughout the day to discuss our lives and problems was for a few minutes, I believe I'd find myself single. Am I in a weird relationship or something?

michaelfairley 16y ago
I think it's more that they have a bare minimum that they spend with each other, and only each other, with no exceptions. Too many couples spend hours together, but watching TV, or cooking, or any numerous other activities that distract them from just enjoying being with each other.
- maukdaddy 16y ago
  I'd argue that watching TV together and cooking together are entirely different things. Passively watching TV and never talking is awful. Cooking together should involve interacting, talking, asking questions, conversation, etc.
nwomack 16y ago
I think it's not necessarily the only time he spends with his wife, except when he's travelling. I think the key words here are "morning" and "100% focused on each other".
- pbhjpbhj 16y ago
  There's no way I'm 100% focussed on anything in the morning.
tyng 16y ago
It's about having a special moment with your partner, a moment that's devoted to nothing but each other.

samiq 16y ago

I just hang up on my gf who is, literally, in the other side of the world (i'm in seoul, she is in costa rica) and were discussing the same stuff. we work together, at the distance, she spent the first 7 months of this year here with me and now we have a few months aside... and quality time, distraction-free, thru skype makes wonders and is needed no matter what. when were together here we'd go to momments of solitud where we'd focus on each other, this not only made us relax and forget about all the project's stuff it nurtured our relationship. I don't know if Brad's policy of answering the phone is wrong or good, but seriously guys work is just a mean to be happy... been with ur SO is been happy. I think us as entrepreneurs will tend to let ourselves go with all the crazy stuff that goes on launching a project or staying ahead of the google's, apple's and facebook's stilling our thunder... but we cannot let all that take our life just as well. nice post and thanks for sharing!

pbhjpbhj 16y ago
>I just hang up on my gf who is, literally, in the other side of the world (i'm in seoul, she is in costa rica) and were discussing the same stuff. Hope you finished the conversation first. ;0)

JoeAltmaier 16y ago

Your spouse is (should be) your anchor, your foundation, your one trusted person in the world. You get to have a special relationship with that person. You get to give it priority over everything else, unconditionally. Other people, if they're wise, know this and make accomodation for it.

salemh 16y ago

Similar to his talk at TEDxBoulder, CO some weeks back (which I attended): Quarterly Week off the Grid. One solid week away with his wife: no cell, laptop, etc. http://www.feld.com/wp/archives/2009/03/the-rhythms-of-life.html http://www.feld.com/wp/archives/2009/03/the-rhythms-of-life.... http://boulderreporter.com/tedxboulder-lets-hear-it-for-the-creatives/ http://boulderreporter.com/tedxboulder-lets-hear-it-for-the-... Good prioritizing in a routine, but the argument becomes..is "4 minutes" (4, 15, 1hr) / 1 week a quarter adequate? How about daily several hours with the people you love? Her opinion?

Revisor 16y ago
I think it's understood that by these rules you ensure the minimal time spent with the important people. Neither the 4 minutes a day, nor the 1 week a quarter are adequate, they just build the low threshhold in stressful times.