5 ms·
At 47 it is a bit of the explore/exploit paradox for me - an optimal stopping problem. As an introvert social interaction drains my mental energy so at some po
by scardine 9y ago
At 47 it is a bit of the explore/exploit paradox for me - an optimal stopping problem.
As an introvert social interaction drains my mental energy so at some point you start investing more energy into enjoying your best friends than into making new friends.
- cheschire 9y agoAs an extrovert, social interaction still drains my mental energy. If anything I find myself even more obligated than you do to hold up my end of the conversation because that's the social expectation. This can be horribly exhausting when I'm simply not in the mood.
- trowway21 9y agoTextbook introvert. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversio...
- cheschire 9y agoThe extent of your personality test for me was reading my post on mobile.
- trowway21 9y agoI was simply pointing out that what you had typed in the comment that I replied to, is exactly what the dude who came up with those 'types' wrote down as definitions.
- cheschire 9y agoContext helps, thanks. Your other post felt more like you were throwing your knowledge in my face and calling me wrong.
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- ryeguy_24 9y agoThe extroverts I’ve known all thrive and get energy in social situations. I use this now as my deciding factor for introversion and extroversion. Are you sure you aren’t an introvert with extrovert skills. That’s what I am. I can talk to anyone easily but it drains me.
- cheschire 9y agoYeah, I had some leadership training last year that involved multiple personality tests. I'm absolutely an extrovert. It wasn't even an "on the fence" kind of result. I'm not an expert on psychological motivations, so I can't speak to the feelings or motivations of others, just myself. Most of the time these results are things I find during introspection after social events are over. I can spend 4 hours in a social situation and be one of the drivers that keeps things going. It's later, when I'm alone and meditating, that I discover just how exhausted I was.
- powvans 9y agoAs an extrovert, my experience is that I pick up on another people's emotions and that colors my mood. If everyone is sort of uncomfortable and struggling through and eyeing the door, then I pick up on that and it saps my energy. If I find myself talking to a half dozen people who are in great moods and having an exciting conversation, I can get so carried away that I will feel a sort of buzzing high. Whether I go home tired or go home buzzing with energy very much depends on the event. My wife is an introvert and is highly skilled at chit chat. She can work a room better than anyone but the most gregarious salesman types. She will remember the names of people that she met 10 years ago, details about their careers, their children's names and what their children studied in college. Doesn't matter if it's a professional event, a wedding, or a funeral, she is always on her game. BUT, she always goes home exhausted.
- scardine 9y agoPeople take me by an extrovert all the time. I learned to look less nerdy by mimicking my extrovert twin brother. I was the weirdest guy of the school and he was the most popular. Have you ever wondered if deep inside you are an introvert that just got very good at pretending to be an extrovert at early age due to social pressure? Western society rewards extroverts.
- jbverschoor 9y agoIntrovert/extravert is how you recover your energy. You can perfectly be sociable and an introvert.
- shrimp_emoji 9y agoI thought both introverts and extraverts get energy by digesting food!
- tessierashpool 9y agoWestern society rewards extroverts. Are you sure about that? I get the impression that the English culture regards extroverts as freaks of nature and terrifying monsters.
- ionised 9y agoHow do you figure?
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- dmichulke 9y ago1. I only ever heard of this as a dilemma and not a paradox 2. There is this recruiting problem where you have to decide which secretary to hire before having seen all of them. The optimal solution is to see the first 37% (1/e) and then hire the first that is better than the previously seen best. Putting that into lifespan of ~75 ys and assuming we don't really start sampling until we are 15, we end up with an optimal stopping (= exploitation) age of 32.07. Surprisingly close to the 30 mentioned. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem
- thecrazyone 9y agoOh! I used a similar mathematical model while finding a spouse. I figured, that for me, 37% (1/e) worked out to 13 people. This (finding people) is a space I've spent a lot of time doing, planning, understanding, and thinking about :) Also, there are a lot of scientific papers on how to model these in scholar.google.com (sorry that I don't have links that I can give right now)
- TorKlingberg 9y agoIt's the optimal solution if you wan to optimize the probability of hiring the one best secretary out of all the candidates. When hiring you usually care more about maximizing the expected "goodness", hiring someone in the top X%, or anyone who meets a certain bar.