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I really want to like this idea, I think the ideals behind it are laudable, and honestly I would fall well within its target market. There's zero chance I'd ev

I really want to like this idea, I think the ideals behind it are laudable, and honestly I would fall well within its target market. There's zero chance I'd ever sign up for such a service. It feels artificial (It's an internet friend you have to pay for!) and self-defeating (it's a platform for shared misery!) The idea of being paired up with some other lonely person so we can vent at each other empathetically about how lonely we both are doesn't sound like it'd be a support at all; it sounds like a burden. Best case scenario is we really hit it off, and then there's one more person I like but don't really get to ever connect with for real, because long-distance. Got plenty of those already, thanks.

amelius 9y ago
But what if this other person is on the company's payroll, and is/acts really cool? And perhaps they are being rated by other users, so you'd know in advance? EDIT: removed some ambiguity in wording.
- schtitt 9y ago
  I honestly think rating people in a service like this will make it feel even more artifical and 'disconnected'. Coolness is not a one-dimensional scale, and what is interesting to you might not be interesting to the next person. Such a system would just make some people try to optimize their score, i. e. not really caring about the relation in itself.
- outsidetheparty 9y ago
  > But what if this other person is really cool? That's the "best-case scenario" I was talking about. Still not great. > And perhaps they are being rated by other users, so you'd know in advance? Whaaaaaaaaat hell no kill that idea with fire. First off that implies that users are being paired up with many other users, not one-to-one (otherwise there's no way for a user to build up 'ratings') which makes it sound more like a subject-specific message board than a "pen-pal" service. More importantly, wtf? rating individual users? On a service whose purpose is for people to empathetically "be there" for one another? Seriously? "Bob's really lonely and hurting, but he's also kind of dull. One star." No. No no no no no.
  - amelius 9y ago
    Ok, I changed my wording a bit. What I meant is that the other person (the penpal) could be paid by the company. As such, I don't think it is bad if they are being rated.
    - outsidetheparty 9y ago
      That's even worse. I guess it solves the "Peeple" rating problem, but at the price of making the whole service transparently artificial. ("It's an internet friend you have to pay for! Also they're not really your friend, they're just paid to pretend they are!")
    - schoen 9y ago
      In this case I think you are effectively offering something like psychotherapy/counseling/coaching/advising. It's not necessarily bad if some these things are provided by people without certain kinds of training, although there are some serious and complex problems that really are best handled by a professional. I have three thoughts about this: * You should think carefully about your marketing about the nature of the service that you offer (as you can see that some people were really rubbed the wrong way by the original description). * Similarly, you should be sure to be clear about the scope and nature of the relationship. * You should consider the issue of things that "escalate quickly", e.g. customers who behave inappropriately toward your staff, or customers who threaten to harm themselves or other people, or who seem to be in need of more extensive professional help. You might think this is unlikely if your service isn't marketed as psychological counseling, but all of these things are going to come up eventually! Overall, I think it's pretty useful and valuable to have more places and options that people can turn to for conversation, interaction, and advice. I agree that it's really tough that so many people feel isolated and don't know where to turn for connection or how to talk about their experiences. (Edit: People in this thread seem really upset about describing the other person in this interaction as a "friend". And indeed, if I pay someone to interact with me for various purposes, I wouldn't describe that relationship as "friendship". It is a professional relationship, not a friendship. But it doesn't mean that the relationship isn't beneficial. There are all different kinds of relationships that involve payment that can be enormously beneficial. Maybe you can even develop some new ones!) (Edit 2: It doesn't have to be presented and marketed as something like psychotherapy. It can still just be corresponding about one's situation. But the parameters should still be as clear as possible.)
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- scottlocklin 9y ago
  C'mon this is emotional prostitution.

amelius 9y ago

But what if this other person is on the company's payroll, and is/acts really cool? And perhaps they are being rated by other users, so you'd know in advance? EDIT: removed some ambiguity in wording.

schtitt 9y ago
I honestly think rating people in a service like this will make it feel even more artifical and 'disconnected'. Coolness is not a one-dimensional scale, and what is interesting to you might not be interesting to the next person. Such a system would just make some people try to optimize their score, i. e. not really caring about the relation in itself.
outsidetheparty 9y ago
> But what if this other person is really cool? That's the "best-case scenario" I was talking about. Still not great. > And perhaps they are being rated by other users, so you'd know in advance? Whaaaaaaaaat hell no kill that idea with fire. First off that implies that users are being paired up with many other users, not one-to-one (otherwise there's no way for a user to build up 'ratings') which makes it sound more like a subject-specific message board than a "pen-pal" service. More importantly, wtf? rating individual users? On a service whose purpose is for people to empathetically "be there" for one another? Seriously? "Bob's really lonely and hurting, but he's also kind of dull. One star." No. No no no no no.
- amelius 9y ago
  Ok, I changed my wording a bit. What I meant is that the other person (the penpal) could be paid by the company. As such, I don't think it is bad if they are being rated.
  - outsidetheparty 9y ago
    That's even worse. I guess it solves the "Peeple" rating problem, but at the price of making the whole service transparently artificial. ("It's an internet friend you have to pay for! Also they're not really your friend, they're just paid to pretend they are!")
  - schoen 9y ago
    In this case I think you are effectively offering something like psychotherapy/counseling/coaching/advising. It's not necessarily bad if some these things are provided by people without certain kinds of training, although there are some serious and complex problems that really are best handled by a professional. I have three thoughts about this: * You should think carefully about your marketing about the nature of the service that you offer (as you can see that some people were really rubbed the wrong way by the original description). * Similarly, you should be sure to be clear about the scope and nature of the relationship. * You should consider the issue of things that "escalate quickly", e.g. customers who behave inappropriately toward your staff, or customers who threaten to harm themselves or other people, or who seem to be in need of more extensive professional help. You might think this is unlikely if your service isn't marketed as psychological counseling, but all of these things are going to come up eventually! Overall, I think it's pretty useful and valuable to have more places and options that people can turn to for conversation, interaction, and advice. I agree that it's really tough that so many people feel isolated and don't know where to turn for connection or how to talk about their experiences. (Edit: People in this thread seem really upset about describing the other person in this interaction as a "friend". And indeed, if I pay someone to interact with me for various purposes, I wouldn't describe that relationship as "friendship". It is a professional relationship, not a friendship. But it doesn't mean that the relationship isn't beneficial. There are all different kinds of relationships that involve payment that can be enormously beneficial. Maybe you can even develop some new ones!) (Edit 2: It doesn't have to be presented and marketed as something like psychotherapy. It can still just be corresponding about one's situation. But the parameters should still be as clear as possible.)
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
scottlocklin 9y ago
C'mon this is emotional prostitution.