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Honest question: What's the logic behind being so utterly rude from the first moment to someone you find attractive? Is it supposed to attract them back somehow

Honest question: What's the logic behind being so utterly rude from the first moment to someone you find attractive? Is it supposed to attract them back somehow?

dazc 9y ago
Just guessing based on behaviours I have witnessed amongst school friends and work colleagues. If you're not an attractive person yourself there are women and girls who are out of your reach. This breeds resentment at an early age, and a weapon of choice, for some, is derogatory language. Why, because what else can you do to hurt someone so easily without fear of repercussion? The problem is not just confined to misogynists btw. If you're a man and have an attractive wife or girlfriend the insulting behaviour still goes on, but usually behind your back - these people are generally cowards after all.
jamra 9y ago
I don't have an answer based on any kind of scientific information, but I have a theory about this. I think that young boys who are learning how to behave towards women test their boundaries. Since they are anonymous, they go way too far into aggression. So I think the combination of being at the bottom of the food chain in terms of being a mate combines with their anonymity and their lack of actual social skills in behaving towards women.
- mentos 9y ago
  Ha maybe the response to this type of abuse is to link the offender to research like that
InclinedPlane 9y ago
Objectification. Performative masculinity.
guitarbill 9y ago
Sour grapes. If you know you can't have or get something, pretend you never wanted it. Thus your ego is preserved.
- nukeop 9y ago
  I don't think anybody thinks in these terms about an internet chatbot.
guy98238710 9y ago
Actually, people are colder and more abusive towards those less good-looking. The case described in the article is not due to beauty. It's because people think it's a bot or at least a fake photo. That's what irritates them.
- throwaway613834 9y ago
  Ahh, yes, that would explain it. I guess the next step here would be to put a note that says this is a human and see how people respond!
  - bloak 9y ago
    Yes! They should definitely try that experiment! When reading the article my first questions were: do these people think there is a real human at the other end, and, if so, do they think the photo is of that human? It's probably impossible to answer that question directly, but putting up a notice similar to "you are talking to a real person, not a bot" and seeing how that affects the behaviour would give some indication, perhaps.
- AnsisMalins 9y ago
  But then why would you harass a bot?
  - guy98238710 9y ago
    Because it's safer than harassing a human. Perfectly reasonable people will be abusive to a bot, because they assume the bot cannot feel it.
  - deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]
  - akkat 9y ago
    Maybe for the same reason that I drown or starve my Sims characters
  - Slansitartop 9y ago

Honest question: What's the logic behind being so utterly rude from the first moment to someone you find attractive? Is it supposed to attract them back somehow?

dazc 9y ago

Just guessing based on behaviours I have witnessed amongst school friends and work colleagues. If you're not an attractive person yourself there are women and girls who are out of your reach. This breeds resentment at an early age, and a weapon of choice, for some, is derogatory language. Why, because what else can you do to hurt someone so easily without fear of repercussion? The problem is not just confined to misogynists btw. If you're a man and have an attractive wife or girlfriend the insulting behaviour still goes on, but usually behind your back - these people are generally cowards after all.

jamra 9y ago

I don't have an answer based on any kind of scientific information, but I have a theory about this. I think that young boys who are learning how to behave towards women test their boundaries. Since they are anonymous, they go way too far into aggression. So I think the combination of being at the bottom of the food chain in terms of being a mate combines with their anonymity and their lack of actual social skills in behaving towards women.

mentos 9y ago
Ha maybe the response to this type of abuse is to link the offender to research like that

InclinedPlane 9y ago

Objectification. Performative masculinity.

guitarbill 9y ago

Sour grapes. If you know you can't have or get something, pretend you never wanted it. Thus your ego is preserved.

nukeop 9y ago
I don't think anybody thinks in these terms about an internet chatbot.

guy98238710 9y ago

Actually, people are colder and more abusive towards those less good-looking. The case described in the article is not due to beauty. It's because people think it's a bot or at least a fake photo. That's what irritates them.

throwaway613834 9y ago
Ahh, yes, that would explain it. I guess the next step here would be to put a note that says this is a human and see how people respond!
- bloak 9y ago
  Yes! They should definitely try that experiment! When reading the article my first questions were: do these people think there is a real human at the other end, and, if so, do they think the photo is of that human? It's probably impossible to answer that question directly, but putting up a notice similar to "you are talking to a real person, not a bot" and seeing how that affects the behaviour would give some indication, perhaps.
AnsisMalins 9y ago
But then why would you harass a bot?
- guy98238710 9y ago
  Because it's safer than harassing a human. Perfectly reasonable people will be abusive to a bot, because they assume the bot cannot feel it.
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- akkat 9y ago
  Maybe for the same reason that I drown or starve my Sims characters
- Slansitartop 9y ago