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Once he started doing it, everything in his life declined. He stopped having healthy relationships with his siblings and his friends at school. He started to be

Once he started doing it, everything in his life declined. He stopped having healthy relationships with his siblings and his friends at school. He started to be much more angry and even sometimes violent, and when we examine the situations in detail, we see that none of it is justified, and he's always the one saying everyone is out to get him when he is actually the one doing wrong. He's become a lot more arrogant and a lot more reserved at school and obnoxious at home. His grades at school declined sharply. He's developing a narcissistic personality, and won't participate in things that he doesn't personally see any value or benefit in, even when everyone around him tries to convince him it's a good or worthwhile activity. Overall he's declining in mental and emotional health.

ceejayoz 9y ago
It's possible you're mixing up cause and effect here. The hormonal changes that tend to cause kids to become interested in porn can cause those other elements as well. It's not unusual for even a teenager with no interest in porn to be quick to anger, feel persecuted, be arrogant, etc. "Won't participate in things that he doesn't personally see any value or benefit in" probably describes 98% of high school students.
- rayiner 9y ago
  Teenage boys get more angry and introverted at the same time that they become interested in porn? It must be the porn I tell you!!
Spellman 9y ago
First, how are you sure it's correlation and not causation? Perhaps he's being driven to porn/developing the habit as self-medication? Also, as to your previous point that it will lead to "harder" stuff, a recent study says no. Yes, there will be more opportunity and exploration of the topic, but that's something that will happen eventually to all individuals. It isn't studied very well, but at least this initial one says we don't naturally become more tolerant and require "harder" pornography over time. https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2018/2/5/can-you-build-up-a-tolerance-to-porn https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2018/2/5/can-you-build-up-a-t...
- sexoffender 9y ago
  There is more to it, and it's hard to pinpoint cause and effect. He did have issues that existed before the pornography habit. But they worsened significantly since the month he started looking at pornography regularly. I do believe that his pornography habit has lowered his mental and emotional intelligence by a noticeable factor. I also look back at when I was his same age, and see my own struggles as very similar to his. So I could be mistaken with some of the internal presumptions I've made about him, but the external ones match up almost exactly.
  - Spellman 9y ago
    OK, fair enough. Hope you guys figure out an appropriate intervention plan then. Is going to a therapist on the table? Sounds like there's something deeper going on and just cutting off the porn doesn't usually solve it in my experience.
    - deleted 9y ago
      [deleted]
beaner 9y ago
This is probably honestly just be puberty, and porn may actually be a release that helps with this stage in his life and all of the unseen anxieties he has right now. There may be a correlation but you really have no idea what the cause is. You shouldn't assume it's this one thing. It may prevent you from being able to offer more meaningful help.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
mattmanser 9y ago
Sounds more like he's becoming a teenager.
ravenstine 9y ago
How do you know that this isn't correlation as opposed to causation? Addictive practices are common avoidance strategies.
ameister14 9y ago
Is he anywhere between 13 and 17? Because that behavior sounds like about 60% of boys between those ages. Testosterone makes people quick to anger, often unjustifiably, and until they learn to control it they aren't fun to be around. Teenagers are also famously self-absorbed, and this age is also marked with a shift from reliance on parents for guidance to outside sources like peers. This was all the case before the internet, before video, before printed media. Porn isn't the cause.

ceejayoz 9y ago

It's possible you're mixing up cause and effect here. The hormonal changes that tend to cause kids to become interested in porn can cause those other elements as well. It's not unusual for even a teenager with no interest in porn to be quick to anger, feel persecuted, be arrogant, etc. "Won't participate in things that he doesn't personally see any value or benefit in" probably describes 98% of high school students.

rayiner 9y ago
Teenage boys get more angry and introverted at the same time that they become interested in porn? It must be the porn I tell you!!

Spellman 9y ago

First, how are you sure it's correlation and not causation? Perhaps he's being driven to porn/developing the habit as self-medication? Also, as to your previous point that it will lead to "harder" stuff, a recent study says no. Yes, there will be more opportunity and exploration of the topic, but that's something that will happen eventually to all individuals. It isn't studied very well, but at least this initial one says we don't naturally become more tolerant and require "harder" pornography over time. https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2018/2/5/can-you-build-up-a-tolerance-to-porn https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2018/2/5/can-you-build-up-a-t...

sexoffender 9y ago
There is more to it, and it's hard to pinpoint cause and effect. He did have issues that existed before the pornography habit. But they worsened significantly since the month he started looking at pornography regularly. I do believe that his pornography habit has lowered his mental and emotional intelligence by a noticeable factor. I also look back at when I was his same age, and see my own struggles as very similar to his. So I could be mistaken with some of the internal presumptions I've made about him, but the external ones match up almost exactly.
- Spellman 9y ago
  OK, fair enough. Hope you guys figure out an appropriate intervention plan then. Is going to a therapist on the table? Sounds like there's something deeper going on and just cutting off the porn doesn't usually solve it in my experience.
  - deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]

beaner 9y ago

This is probably honestly just be puberty, and porn may actually be a release that helps with this stage in his life and all of the unseen anxieties he has right now. There may be a correlation but you really have no idea what the cause is. You shouldn't assume it's this one thing. It may prevent you from being able to offer more meaningful help.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

mattmanser 9y ago

Sounds more like he's becoming a teenager.

ravenstine 9y ago

How do you know that this isn't correlation as opposed to causation? Addictive practices are common avoidance strategies.

ameister14 9y ago

Is he anywhere between 13 and 17? Because that behavior sounds like about 60% of boys between those ages. Testosterone makes people quick to anger, often unjustifiably, and until they learn to control it they aren't fun to be around. Teenagers are also famously self-absorbed, and this age is also marked with a shift from reliance on parents for guidance to outside sources like peers. This was all the case before the internet, before video, before printed media. Porn isn't the cause.