5 ms·

I wonder which one is better: 1) Quit Porn 2) Stop Masturbation Any ideas?

pornthrow2018 9y ago
I've tried quitting either for years, very much addicted. Or at least a very strong coping mechanism. If you're anything like me, it's more or less impossible to quit one and have the other. Watching porn will eventually lead to masturbation and vice versa. I've recently tried taking the half-measure of exclusively audio pornography (/r/gonewildaudio) - in an effort to see if I notice any changes in my perception of women or anything. Been on it exclusively for a few weeks now and I feel the same. If anything, I'm more tired since it takes much longer without the visual stimulation.
- mattmanser 9y ago
  I am curious, having recently found out I am not able to visualize in my head, "see with my mind's eye", are you similarly unable to see pictures in your head? When reading about Aphantasia[1], one of the questions people with Aphantasia get is "how do you masturbate?". My main motivation has been because of doing the course Learning How to Learn and Barbara Oakley talking about visualization being an effective study tool and I finally realized other people can really summon flying donkeys in their head with air sounds, which I cannot. That they really picture these moving scenes in their heads. But it occurs to me this might drive some people to use more porn than others. [1] which I don't have, I can very, very occasionally summon extremely brief pictures and with some practice I seem to be starting to get somewhere.
- ovao 9y ago
  My approach to quitting porn is (relatively) simple: mentally decouple porn from masturbation. Excessive consumption of the former leads, usually, to excessive acts of the latter, and to a link between the two, but after some time without it, porn simply becomes unnecessary for masturbation. I can watch porn now without feeling compelled to masturbate to it, but after a while it loses an incredible amount of its appeal. You can re-align your thinking in a way that sexual fantasy becomes just as effective as porn, and, eventually, you may find that you’re able to masturbate without fantasy either.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
Altimos 9y ago
In the case of #1, you start to lose your association of fake or staged sex acts with real sex acts, and hopefully are able to re-educate yourself on what real sex is actually like. In the case of #2, you deprive yourself of a completely natural pleasure. I would put my bets behind quitting porn over stopping masturbation if the goal is to develop a healthy outlook on sex. I'd love to hear someone on the other side's thoughts though.
sexoffender 9y ago
Why not both? Let your SO be the only one who pleases you on this level, physically, mentally and emotionally. Ignore those voices that try to tell you that you can't be happy without these old ways of pleasing yourself. Your relationship will improve 100x, I speak from experience.
- yorwba 9y ago
  That only works if you have a SO, which isn't even necessarily what everyone wants.
  - sexoffender 9y ago
    Well sex kind of inherently requires an SO (however you choose to define "significant"), and porn inherently has to do with sex. Masturbation is trying to be your own SO, but sex inherently is a two-person job. I know these things are controversial these days, but they're pretty obvious and self-evident if you ignore recent ideologies and politics.
    - ggggtez 9y ago
      Ignoring your distasteful name for a moment; you have a very black-and-white view. 2 person job? Said who? 1 person sex, or 3 person sex, or more... Who says 2 is the only or even the best way?
      - sexoffender 9y ago
        The physical nature of human beings: a single penis fits into a single vagina, and that's how babies are made. It takes exactly two people for this to work. Sex can be done in other ways but this is the magic formula for sex to make a baby, and making babies seems to be the primary purpose of sex within nature. And my name isn't meant to be tasteful, it's meant to be honest. I committed the crime of public indecency and am a sex offender for life.
        9y ago
joncrane 9y ago
Quit porn for sure.
jeeyoungk 9y ago
https://reddit.com/r/nofap https://reddit.com/r/nofap is a community dedicated for (2).

pornthrow2018 9y ago

I've tried quitting either for years, very much addicted. Or at least a very strong coping mechanism. If you're anything like me, it's more or less impossible to quit one and have the other. Watching porn will eventually lead to masturbation and vice versa. I've recently tried taking the half-measure of exclusively audio pornography (/r/gonewildaudio) - in an effort to see if I notice any changes in my perception of women or anything. Been on it exclusively for a few weeks now and I feel the same. If anything, I'm more tired since it takes much longer without the visual stimulation.

mattmanser 9y ago
I am curious, having recently found out I am not able to visualize in my head, "see with my mind's eye", are you similarly unable to see pictures in your head? When reading about Aphantasia[1], one of the questions people with Aphantasia get is "how do you masturbate?". My main motivation has been because of doing the course Learning How to Learn and Barbara Oakley talking about visualization being an effective study tool and I finally realized other people can really summon flying donkeys in their head with air sounds, which I cannot. That they really picture these moving scenes in their heads. But it occurs to me this might drive some people to use more porn than others. [1] which I don't have, I can very, very occasionally summon extremely brief pictures and with some practice I seem to be starting to get somewhere.
ovao 9y ago
My approach to quitting porn is (relatively) simple: mentally decouple porn from masturbation. Excessive consumption of the former leads, usually, to excessive acts of the latter, and to a link between the two, but after some time without it, porn simply becomes unnecessary for masturbation. I can watch porn now without feeling compelled to masturbate to it, but after a while it loses an incredible amount of its appeal. You can re-align your thinking in a way that sexual fantasy becomes just as effective as porn, and, eventually, you may find that you’re able to masturbate without fantasy either.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

Altimos 9y ago

In the case of #1, you start to lose your association of fake or staged sex acts with real sex acts, and hopefully are able to re-educate yourself on what real sex is actually like. In the case of #2, you deprive yourself of a completely natural pleasure. I would put my bets behind quitting porn over stopping masturbation if the goal is to develop a healthy outlook on sex. I'd love to hear someone on the other side's thoughts though.

sexoffender 9y ago

Why not both? Let your SO be the only one who pleases you on this level, physically, mentally and emotionally. Ignore those voices that try to tell you that you can't be happy without these old ways of pleasing yourself. Your relationship will improve 100x, I speak from experience.

yorwba 9y ago
That only works if you have a SO, which isn't even necessarily what everyone wants.
- sexoffender 9y ago
  Well sex kind of inherently requires an SO (however you choose to define "significant"), and porn inherently has to do with sex. Masturbation is trying to be your own SO, but sex inherently is a two-person job. I know these things are controversial these days, but they're pretty obvious and self-evident if you ignore recent ideologies and politics.
  - ggggtez 9y ago
    Ignoring your distasteful name for a moment; you have a very black-and-white view. 2 person job? Said who? 1 person sex, or 3 person sex, or more... Who says 2 is the only or even the best way?
    - sexoffender 9y ago
      The physical nature of human beings: a single penis fits into a single vagina, and that's how babies are made. It takes exactly two people for this to work. Sex can be done in other ways but this is the magic formula for sex to make a baby, and making babies seems to be the primary purpose of sex within nature. And my name isn't meant to be tasteful, it's meant to be honest. I committed the crime of public indecency and am a sex offender for life.
      - 9y ago

joncrane 9y ago

Quit porn for sure.

jeeyoungk 9y ago

https://reddit.com/r/nofap https://reddit.com/r/nofap is a community dedicated for (2).