I'm already nihilistic, or Stoic in any case. Already question every social construct; this started when I read the Illuminati trilogy. Fearful of what? My happ

I'm already nihilistic, or Stoic in any case. Already question every social construct; this started when I read the Illuminati trilogy. Fearful of what? My happiness and depression swing in roundabouts. I don't see any of this changing should I discover I'm in a simulation.