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In my life some of the most interesting lasting friendships were made with strangers I met in hostels while traveling and at weddings. But my recent experience

In my life some of the most interesting lasting friendships were made with strangers I met in hostels while traveling and at weddings. But my recent experiences with hostels and weddings and bus stops and pretty much everywhere (even in remote areas in the third world) is that instead of talking to each other everyone is giving their attention to their smartphones. Social media needs to start making its emphasis the creation of more real world social interaction. What about an opt-in geoaware app tied into or within FB (or other) that runs in the background and when it notes a critical mass of people nearby looks for common friends and interests in the crowd and after appropriate reactions to prompts, makes introductions or even proposes a flashmob activity from among those that some of these people have stored (in the app or somewhere that the app can access) in the hopes that just such a moment would arrive.

d33 9y ago
That would have some pretty interesting privacy implications, not to mention the room for manipulation...
- en-us 9y ago
  Current social media has those exact same problems. Corporations violate our privacy daily and successfully work to manipulate the population. We already crossed that bridge unfortunately.
kristiandupont 9y ago
Perhaps. But I would never activate such a thing. I'd expect to run into weirdos that are impossible to get rid of. It's a cliché to say that we as engineers look to solve all problems with more tech, even the problem of too much tech. But in this case I think it's really warranted. I've had two experiences here in Copenhagen that were interesting to me. Once, I was on a bus that got stuck in a pile of snow. Everybody got out and helped push it. Another time, the ATM's collectively stopped working for a half hour or so. In both instances, people were almost delighted to have a reason to speak to strangers around them. The bus ride turned into a small party, and with the ATM situation I saw a person giving a stranger cash (not a lot, but completely out of the blue). Both times I had the feeling that it was like people were waking up from a zombie-sleep and I wonder if things were more like this in villages in the old days.
- shrimp_emoji 9y ago
  It seems true that comfort breeds alienation while adversity encourages interaction and interdependence, and, being that that's what we evolved for, many people seem to enjoy the latter. For my part, though, I'd like that limited to WoW guilds; communication greatly disrupts my comfort unless done in the most abstract and expedient environments possible, like cyberspace. The smartphone has done wonders to make meatspace more bearable for me.
  - michaelchisari 9y ago
    There's a fantastic quote from Orwell about Hitler's rise that points out that the appeal of fascism was struggle and conflict itself. I'l see if I can find it, but it is something I wonder about from a sociological standpoint: When we have our basic needs met, how do we deal with the alienation that results? If we don't deal with that alienation, can we expect someone who promises adversity to arise? Being poor, lacking healthcare, experiencing violence, etc are all terrible things, but overcoming them often strongly informs our identities. If we manage, through politics and technology, to achieve a safe, post-scarcity society with all basic needs met, will we have to deal with a collective identity crisis (or millions of individual crises) and if so, how do we deal with it? Found the Orwell quote: “[Hitler] has grasped the falsity of the hedonistic attitude to life. Nearly all western thought since the last war, certainly all “progressive” thought, has assumed tacitly that human beings desire nothing beyond ease, security, and avoidance of pain. In such a view of life there is no room, for instance, for patriotism and the military virtues. Hitler, because in his own joyless mind he feels it with exceptional strength, knows that human beings don’t only want comfort, safety, short working-hours, hygiene, birth-control and, in general, common sense; they also, at least intermittently, want struggle and self-sacrifice, not to mention drums, flag and loyalty-parades ... Whereas Socialism, and even capitalism in a grudging way, have said to people “I offer you a good time,” Hitler has said to them “I offer you struggle, danger and death,” and as a result a whole nation flings itself at his feet”
    - watwut 9y ago
      Hitler promised a lot more and did not arise to power in the situation of good economy. He promised new land under theory that Germany is overcrowded, he promised power and went up as capitalism/democracy seemed to be failing. Hitlers popularity went down when economy was better and up when it crashed. Another thing that played against socialists in Germany was knowledge of purge in Russia. Germans were scared that something like that will happen there unless there is strongman in lead. And to be fair, communists getting power would likely mean danger and killings. People also hoped that Hitler in power will cause street violence go down. People will trade identity and purpose for comfort, but in Germany it did not happened out of comfort. And it happened in violent already militaristic state that valued military a lot long before Hitler.
notacoward 9y ago
It really is sad that public spaces are now full of people doing private things. Yes, they're often being social in a way, but in most of those cases they're interacting with people they already know at the expense of getting to know the new people around them. That impedes the formation of the broad and diverse web of relationships important to civic community. I don't think there's a simple answer to this. There just needs to be more of an understanding that mobile devices and social media can either enhance or detract from real human interaction, and that using them in ways that detract is rude.
- tomjen3 9y ago
  That is one social norm. My norm is that I don't owe people my time, which you may consider rude.
  - wutbrodo 9y ago
    I don't think anyone is suggesting that people owe anything: it was possible to keep to oneself in public spaces even pre smartphones. At the population level though, a shift in norms and behavior means that even two people who would be fine engaging with a stranger now do so less. To be concrete, it has less to do with forcing anyone to do anything than with changing the environment such that, across the population, it's harder for those on the margin to interact socially.
  - notacoward 9y ago
    If there wasn't going to be any social interaction anyway, there's nothing to detract from. I read books on my phone in public places - e.g. subway stations and trains - all the time. But some places and times are intended to be more social. If you're at an explicitly social gathering, at a party or happy hour, dining with friends, etc., and your face is buried in your phone the whole time, that's rude. You don't owe others your time, but neither do you have the right to turn a shared social space into something else for your own benefit. If you want to be alone, get to a less social space. Everyone including you will be happier for it.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
jamesrcole 9y ago
> Social media needs to start making its emphasis the creation of more real world social interaction. They could also try to do better at fostering more-meaningful online interactions.
samschooler 9y ago
The Couchsurfing [1] app has something similar to this! You just say you want to hang out, say what you want to do (grab drinks, etc.) and people can see you if you're nearby and message you. I used it to find friends to go out with in Romania last month. [1]: https://couchsurfing.com https://couchsurfing.com

d33 9y ago

That would have some pretty interesting privacy implications, not to mention the room for manipulation...

en-us 9y ago
Current social media has those exact same problems. Corporations violate our privacy daily and successfully work to manipulate the population. We already crossed that bridge unfortunately.

kristiandupont 9y ago

Perhaps. But I would never activate such a thing. I'd expect to run into weirdos that are impossible to get rid of. It's a cliché to say that we as engineers look to solve all problems with more tech, even the problem of too much tech. But in this case I think it's really warranted. I've had two experiences here in Copenhagen that were interesting to me. Once, I was on a bus that got stuck in a pile of snow. Everybody got out and helped push it. Another time, the ATM's collectively stopped working for a half hour or so. In both instances, people were almost delighted to have a reason to speak to strangers around them. The bus ride turned into a small party, and with the ATM situation I saw a person giving a stranger cash (not a lot, but completely out of the blue). Both times I had the feeling that it was like people were waking up from a zombie-sleep and I wonder if things were more like this in villages in the old days.

shrimp_emoji 9y ago
It seems true that comfort breeds alienation while adversity encourages interaction and interdependence, and, being that that's what we evolved for, many people seem to enjoy the latter. For my part, though, I'd like that limited to WoW guilds; communication greatly disrupts my comfort unless done in the most abstract and expedient environments possible, like cyberspace. The smartphone has done wonders to make meatspace more bearable for me.
- michaelchisari 9y ago
  There's a fantastic quote from Orwell about Hitler's rise that points out that the appeal of fascism was struggle and conflict itself. I'l see if I can find it, but it is something I wonder about from a sociological standpoint: When we have our basic needs met, how do we deal with the alienation that results? If we don't deal with that alienation, can we expect someone who promises adversity to arise? Being poor, lacking healthcare, experiencing violence, etc are all terrible things, but overcoming them often strongly informs our identities. If we manage, through politics and technology, to achieve a safe, post-scarcity society with all basic needs met, will we have to deal with a collective identity crisis (or millions of individual crises) and if so, how do we deal with it? Found the Orwell quote: “[Hitler] has grasped the falsity of the hedonistic attitude to life. Nearly all western thought since the last war, certainly all “progressive” thought, has assumed tacitly that human beings desire nothing beyond ease, security, and avoidance of pain. In such a view of life there is no room, for instance, for patriotism and the military virtues. Hitler, because in his own joyless mind he feels it with exceptional strength, knows that human beings don’t only want comfort, safety, short working-hours, hygiene, birth-control and, in general, common sense; they also, at least intermittently, want struggle and self-sacrifice, not to mention drums, flag and loyalty-parades ... Whereas Socialism, and even capitalism in a grudging way, have said to people “I offer you a good time,” Hitler has said to them “I offer you struggle, danger and death,” and as a result a whole nation flings itself at his feet”
  - watwut 9y ago
    Hitler promised a lot more and did not arise to power in the situation of good economy. He promised new land under theory that Germany is overcrowded, he promised power and went up as capitalism/democracy seemed to be failing. Hitlers popularity went down when economy was better and up when it crashed. Another thing that played against socialists in Germany was knowledge of purge in Russia. Germans were scared that something like that will happen there unless there is strongman in lead. And to be fair, communists getting power would likely mean danger and killings. People also hoped that Hitler in power will cause street violence go down. People will trade identity and purpose for comfort, but in Germany it did not happened out of comfort. And it happened in violent already militaristic state that valued military a lot long before Hitler.

notacoward 9y ago

It really is sad that public spaces are now full of people doing private things. Yes, they're often being social in a way, but in most of those cases they're interacting with people they already know at the expense of getting to know the new people around them. That impedes the formation of the broad and diverse web of relationships important to civic community. I don't think there's a simple answer to this. There just needs to be more of an understanding that mobile devices and social media can either enhance or detract from real human interaction, and that using them in ways that detract is rude.

tomjen3 9y ago
That is one social norm. My norm is that I don't owe people my time, which you may consider rude.
- wutbrodo 9y ago
  I don't think anyone is suggesting that people owe anything: it was possible to keep to oneself in public spaces even pre smartphones. At the population level though, a shift in norms and behavior means that even two people who would be fine engaging with a stranger now do so less. To be concrete, it has less to do with forcing anyone to do anything than with changing the environment such that, across the population, it's harder for those on the margin to interact socially.
- notacoward 9y ago
  If there wasn't going to be any social interaction anyway, there's nothing to detract from. I read books on my phone in public places - e.g. subway stations and trains - all the time. But some places and times are intended to be more social. If you're at an explicitly social gathering, at a party or happy hour, dining with friends, etc., and your face is buried in your phone the whole time, that's rude. You don't owe others your time, but neither do you have the right to turn a shared social space into something else for your own benefit. If you want to be alone, get to a less social space. Everyone including you will be happier for it.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

jamesrcole 9y ago

> Social media needs to start making its emphasis the creation of more real world social interaction. They could also try to do better at fostering more-meaningful online interactions.

samschooler 9y ago

The Couchsurfing [1] app has something similar to this! You just say you want to hang out, say what you want to do (grab drinks, etc.) and people can see you if you're nearby and message you. I used it to find friends to go out with in Romania last month. [1]: https://couchsurfing.com https://couchsurfing.com