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> [Subordinates] are used to being dominated and condescended. If you talk to them as respected individuals, you usually get respect back. It also gives more we
by SomeStupidPoint 9y ago
> [Subordinates] are used to being dominated and condescended. If you talk to them as respected individuals, you usually get respect back. It also gives more weight to the times you have to be more assertive.
This is actually pretty good advice for any time you're trying to manage people -- and kids are just little people.
- wasterone 9y agoYes and because children are people rather than intellectual abstractions they need authority (not domineering but authority backed up by force nonetheless). A developing mind is like a nation, with many strands. I live in a relatively peaceful and advanced country but I know that if the police had their weapons and handcuffs taken away tomorrow then evil strands would quickly rise up and destroy everything.
- wasterone 9y agohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murray-Hill_riot https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murray-Hill_riot
- notduncansmith 9y agoOne point of view I find helpful is the reverse, that people are just really old kids. It makes it easier to, within limits, accept and forgive irrational behavior (including my own!) while keeping a positive, growth-oriented mindset.
- corysama 9y agoThe Coding Horror blog has a great piece on how the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk helped him out with a lot more than just his kids. https://blog.codinghorror.com/how-to-talk-to-human-beings/ https://blog.codinghorror.com/how-to-talk-to-human-beings/
- SomeStupidPoint 9y agoExcellent blog post! And if anyone is looking for the book (like I was), this seems to be a more recent edition (with better availability): https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889/ https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/14516638...