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Thank you for posting this. I've five weeks into working for myself and avoiding loneliness has become a key task for me every day. I wouldn't say I'm succeedi

Thank you for posting this. I've five weeks into working for myself and avoiding loneliness has become a key task for me every day. I wouldn't say I'm succeeding at it, to be honest. I know I could join a coworking space but I question whether it's worth $400+ a month when I wouldn't be able to attend the networking events since I have a family and need to be home at night. (And I don't need meeting space, and have a desk at home, and etc.) I've started going to Whole Foods to work during the day just to be around other people. Not that we necessarily interact, but, you know, it's something.

Waterluvian 9y ago
And with one comment on Hacker News I think I understand why people do work at Starbucks. Not sure why that never dawned on me.
- froindt 9y ago
  I've found being around others helps tremendously compared with working solo. I believe there have been academic studies into this as well. Being around other people who are "productive" (whether they really are or not) helps my mindset. I would study in the quiet chunks of the library with other people around me, particularly leading up to big exams.
- cylinder 9y ago
  So all those people sitting there because they're lonely and want to be around other people ... But they never talk to one another. Weird.
  - ci5er 9y ago
    Or ... maybe not lonely. But want to feel a lively "buzz" that isn't from music or putting on movies in the background. Maybe weird. But I don't like sitting in my quiet apartment alone working. (I'm not particularly lonely - I just like the energy better when I'm "out")
    - cylinder 9y ago
      I just wish we had something like this still - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_coffeehouses_in_the_17th_and_18th_centuries https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_coffeehouses_in_the_...
      - ci5er 9y ago
        I can't disagree. But in the absence of Ben Franklin, I still need to get out of the house to go find a place with "buzz" to work...
  - chipx86 9y ago
    I've been a regular at a couple of different Starbucks locations over the past few years, and surprisingly, communities of people do develop over time. There are other regulars that you start to recognize, say hi to as you stand in line, and catch up with. I've met fascinating people by working at Starbucks. Engineers, managers, musicians, nurses, all friendly and equally happy to have someone else to talk to. Plus, there's the baristas, who I've also found pleasant to talk to. Some days, though, you are alone at Starbucks, but it's a different kind of alone than working at home all day every day. You're surrounded by people, and when the alternative is zero social contact during your work day, it can make a difference.
  - exikyut 9y ago
    In some theoretical parallel universe somewhere, and maybe even in the future of this one, I'm imagining people with private (tiny) airplanes flying out to some backwater dot county nobody knows about, just to code at one of the coffee shops there. Because people are really forward in rural areas. Hm, now I see the bugs in this idea; poor internet speed for one, compounded by the fact that said person is likely going to want to move out there permanently...
  - herbst 9y ago
    For me personally it is just about beeing under people. I would hate if people think this invites them to talk
  - egypturnash 9y ago
    We are not solitary animals; we evolved to be part of tribes and bands. There's a part of us that's just not happy unless there's other humans around. And it's perfectly cool if we never interact with them. That's fine. Maybe sometimes all we want is to have someone around to be faster than when a lion comes out of the shadows and takes the slowest person down. Even if that, or some metaphorical equivalent of it, is exceedingly unlikely in a coffee shop.
- ci5er 9y ago
  I get up at 5am every day to go to Starbucks at 6am every day. The "stillness buzz" of my apartment bugs me. I go to Starbucks and ignore everyone - but I still feel part of the mix. I could, you know, go to the office, but everone interrupts me there. It's not lonely, but unproductive. The trick is to be productive, but to feel like a human in the mix. For me, Starbucks does that.
  - Eupolemos 9y ago
    For those bothered by silence but also - at times - annoyed by music: https://coffitivity.com/ https://coffitivity.com/ Some kind of optimized noise is a weird concept, but I've found that it really works, from time to time. Especially if I'm doing something that requires a great deal of concentration rather than just "production".
    - ci5er 9y ago
      Thanks!
    - erikbye 9y ago
      https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ambient+noise https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ambient+noise https://www.noisli.com/ https://www.noisli.com/
    - taylorjacobson 9y ago
      Focusmate is a middle ground of sorts - social but without leaving home. https://www.focusmate.com/ https://www.focusmate.com/ The core of the UX is the Focusmate session, a structured, 50-minute video interaction, where you and another user act as accountability partners for one another. You'll find lots of solopreneurs as well as a handful of sole founders, but above all, you get human interaction without compromising productivity. Disclaimer - I'm the founder. I was a sole founder for a lonnnng time and doing these sessions was my saving grace.
    - aryamaan 9y ago
      Brain.fm works for me.
- rokhayakebe 9y ago
  Not only SB, but that is a significant part of the WeWork business imo. I feel it myself.
georgiev 9y ago
I feel like good mental health and the side benefits of networking are totally worth the 400 dollars if it doesn’t put you in financial insecurity.
ggg9990 9y ago
If you fail at working from home it's going to cost you a hell of a lot more than $400 a month. Time to move on that ASAP. Later when you're in a better place you can think about alternatives.
- quickthrower2 9y ago
  What does this mean?
  - jack_pp 9y ago
    If you make 20 $/h and you can only work 80 a month because you're lonely but you would be able to work 160 at a coffee shop then 400 bucks turns into 1600
segmondy 9y ago
I did the coworking space thing a few years ago, it wasn't worth it. No one there was doing anything interesting. There really wasn't much conversion. It was a waste of money for me. I can work alone for a long time. It's just the loneliness that slowly builds up over a long time from not talking about the project with peers walking the same path that sucks.
- mjwhansen 9y ago
  A good friend of mine who is a solo entrepreneur (...in a different city) said this was their experience too. They recommended finding a good coffee shop. They've been going to the same one for months and said that it slowly builds a culture of accountability and familiarity among the regulars. Solves the socialization part, though not the lack of feedback and discussion.
- greggman 9y ago
  I think it probably really depends on the co-working space. I was at one for a few months that made a point of socializing. They had a portion of space dedicated to meetups from 7pm. They had 4-5 meetups a week. They organized dinner outings. One person organized a programmer meet up where he'd give out a short problem, have everyone solve it in their language of choice, then we'd have each person explain their solution, it was enlightening so see why each person made their choices. I don't know how to know beforehand if a co-working space has lots of social activities or not, maybe see if they have an event page or a FB page showing past events.
  - exikyut 9y ago
    Hmmmmm. It sounds like "coworking space" and "coder makespace" got lumped together, and need to be teased apart to clarify what to expect.
matwood 9y ago
When I worked from home full time for a few years I found the gym to be a great place for social interaction. I would work at home in the morning, then gym, and work in a coffee shop in the afternoon. If you keep a schedule you’ll see the same people and eventually have some people to randomly chat with.
mrhappyunhappy 9y ago
I’ve been solo for 4 years. I never once worked outside of my home office. At times it was very lonely but I didn’t do anything about it. I started a slack group for freelancers as a water cooler and advice type of place. It’s sometimes active but most of the time pretty quiet. Anyone looking for a place to just chat is welcome to join, founder or freelancer I don’t care, we are a mixed bunch: freelancehangout.com
lgats 9y ago
Sounds like my life. I'll wave to you next time I'm at whole foods.
telesilla 9y ago
For everyone commenting on going to a café every day, you'll end up spending the $400 on coffee, cakes whathaveyou and you won't have the guarantee of a quiet, thoughtful space when you need it. I needed some company some time ago and found a co-working space that I treated like a café - the coffee included, I brought my own lunch, and even though I'm not particularly sociable it was still much, much healthier than working alone and over time I got on fairly well with a group of people I still consider friends, though I've long since left. Have a look if there is something around you, you never know. And even just the looking gets you out of the house for a valid reason!
- ryandrake 9y ago
  Well, you don't have to constantly be buying coffee, or stay there the entire day. I find about 2 hours and a single $2 cup twice a day to be perfect for re-energizing and getting some human contact.
- linkmotif 9y ago
  This logic led me to join WeWork for a while and it was quite horrible. It was loud and WeWork didn’t care. Seemed like they need to provide a place for your average person, which makes sense, but that average person is a sale/marketing/design type who won’t be bothered by noise. Not a good option for people trying to focus. Not to mention the coffee type never changed.
Vinnl 9y ago
> I know I could join a coworking space but I question whether it's worth $400+ a month I'm not sure whether this is available in every country/big city, but I've been working from Seats2Meet [1]. You can work there for free, and although it can get noisy, for me, having some buzz around me helps against loneliness and doesn't impact my productivity that much. [1] http://seats2meet.com/ http://seats2meet.com/

Waterluvian 9y ago

And with one comment on Hacker News I think I understand why people do work at Starbucks. Not sure why that never dawned on me.

froindt 9y ago
I've found being around others helps tremendously compared with working solo. I believe there have been academic studies into this as well. Being around other people who are "productive" (whether they really are or not) helps my mindset. I would study in the quiet chunks of the library with other people around me, particularly leading up to big exams.
cylinder 9y ago
So all those people sitting there because they're lonely and want to be around other people ... But they never talk to one another. Weird.
- ci5er 9y ago
  Or ... maybe not lonely. But want to feel a lively "buzz" that isn't from music or putting on movies in the background. Maybe weird. But I don't like sitting in my quiet apartment alone working. (I'm not particularly lonely - I just like the energy better when I'm "out")
  - cylinder 9y ago
    I just wish we had something like this still - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_coffeehouses_in_the_17th_and_18th_centuries https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_coffeehouses_in_the_...
    - ci5er 9y ago
      I can't disagree. But in the absence of Ben Franklin, I still need to get out of the house to go find a place with "buzz" to work...
- chipx86 9y ago
  I've been a regular at a couple of different Starbucks locations over the past few years, and surprisingly, communities of people do develop over time. There are other regulars that you start to recognize, say hi to as you stand in line, and catch up with. I've met fascinating people by working at Starbucks. Engineers, managers, musicians, nurses, all friendly and equally happy to have someone else to talk to. Plus, there's the baristas, who I've also found pleasant to talk to. Some days, though, you are alone at Starbucks, but it's a different kind of alone than working at home all day every day. You're surrounded by people, and when the alternative is zero social contact during your work day, it can make a difference.
- exikyut 9y ago
  In some theoretical parallel universe somewhere, and maybe even in the future of this one, I'm imagining people with private (tiny) airplanes flying out to some backwater dot county nobody knows about, just to code at one of the coffee shops there. Because people are really forward in rural areas. Hm, now I see the bugs in this idea; poor internet speed for one, compounded by the fact that said person is likely going to want to move out there permanently...
- herbst 9y ago
  For me personally it is just about beeing under people. I would hate if people think this invites them to talk
- egypturnash 9y ago
  We are not solitary animals; we evolved to be part of tribes and bands. There's a part of us that's just not happy unless there's other humans around. And it's perfectly cool if we never interact with them. That's fine. Maybe sometimes all we want is to have someone around to be faster than when a lion comes out of the shadows and takes the slowest person down. Even if that, or some metaphorical equivalent of it, is exceedingly unlikely in a coffee shop.
ci5er 9y ago
I get up at 5am every day to go to Starbucks at 6am every day. The "stillness buzz" of my apartment bugs me. I go to Starbucks and ignore everyone - but I still feel part of the mix. I could, you know, go to the office, but everone interrupts me there. It's not lonely, but unproductive. The trick is to be productive, but to feel like a human in the mix. For me, Starbucks does that.
- Eupolemos 9y ago
  For those bothered by silence but also - at times - annoyed by music: https://coffitivity.com/ https://coffitivity.com/ Some kind of optimized noise is a weird concept, but I've found that it really works, from time to time. Especially if I'm doing something that requires a great deal of concentration rather than just "production".
  - ci5er 9y ago
    Thanks!
  - erikbye 9y ago
    https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ambient+noise https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ambient+noise https://www.noisli.com/ https://www.noisli.com/
  - taylorjacobson 9y ago
    Focusmate is a middle ground of sorts - social but without leaving home. https://www.focusmate.com/ https://www.focusmate.com/ The core of the UX is the Focusmate session, a structured, 50-minute video interaction, where you and another user act as accountability partners for one another. You'll find lots of solopreneurs as well as a handful of sole founders, but above all, you get human interaction without compromising productivity. Disclaimer - I'm the founder. I was a sole founder for a lonnnng time and doing these sessions was my saving grace.
  - aryamaan 9y ago
    Brain.fm works for me.
rokhayakebe 9y ago
Not only SB, but that is a significant part of the WeWork business imo. I feel it myself.

georgiev 9y ago

I feel like good mental health and the side benefits of networking are totally worth the 400 dollars if it doesn’t put you in financial insecurity.

ggg9990 9y ago

If you fail at working from home it's going to cost you a hell of a lot more than $400 a month. Time to move on that ASAP. Later when you're in a better place you can think about alternatives.

quickthrower2 9y ago
What does this mean?
- jack_pp 9y ago
  If you make 20 $/h and you can only work 80 a month because you're lonely but you would be able to work 160 at a coffee shop then 400 bucks turns into 1600

segmondy 9y ago

I did the coworking space thing a few years ago, it wasn't worth it. No one there was doing anything interesting. There really wasn't much conversion. It was a waste of money for me. I can work alone for a long time. It's just the loneliness that slowly builds up over a long time from not talking about the project with peers walking the same path that sucks.

mjwhansen 9y ago
A good friend of mine who is a solo entrepreneur (...in a different city) said this was their experience too. They recommended finding a good coffee shop. They've been going to the same one for months and said that it slowly builds a culture of accountability and familiarity among the regulars. Solves the socialization part, though not the lack of feedback and discussion.
greggman 9y ago
I think it probably really depends on the co-working space. I was at one for a few months that made a point of socializing. They had a portion of space dedicated to meetups from 7pm. They had 4-5 meetups a week. They organized dinner outings. One person organized a programmer meet up where he'd give out a short problem, have everyone solve it in their language of choice, then we'd have each person explain their solution, it was enlightening so see why each person made their choices. I don't know how to know beforehand if a co-working space has lots of social activities or not, maybe see if they have an event page or a FB page showing past events.
- exikyut 9y ago
  Hmmmmm. It sounds like "coworking space" and "coder makespace" got lumped together, and need to be teased apart to clarify what to expect.

matwood 9y ago

When I worked from home full time for a few years I found the gym to be a great place for social interaction. I would work at home in the morning, then gym, and work in a coffee shop in the afternoon. If you keep a schedule you’ll see the same people and eventually have some people to randomly chat with.

mrhappyunhappy 9y ago

I’ve been solo for 4 years. I never once worked outside of my home office. At times it was very lonely but I didn’t do anything about it. I started a slack group for freelancers as a water cooler and advice type of place. It’s sometimes active but most of the time pretty quiet. Anyone looking for a place to just chat is welcome to join, founder or freelancer I don’t care, we are a mixed bunch: freelancehangout.com

lgats 9y ago

Sounds like my life. I'll wave to you next time I'm at whole foods.

telesilla 9y ago

For everyone commenting on going to a café every day, you'll end up spending the $400 on coffee, cakes whathaveyou and you won't have the guarantee of a quiet, thoughtful space when you need it. I needed some company some time ago and found a co-working space that I treated like a café - the coffee included, I brought my own lunch, and even though I'm not particularly sociable it was still much, much healthier than working alone and over time I got on fairly well with a group of people I still consider friends, though I've long since left. Have a look if there is something around you, you never know. And even just the looking gets you out of the house for a valid reason!

ryandrake 9y ago
Well, you don't have to constantly be buying coffee, or stay there the entire day. I find about 2 hours and a single $2 cup twice a day to be perfect for re-energizing and getting some human contact.
linkmotif 9y ago
This logic led me to join WeWork for a while and it was quite horrible. It was loud and WeWork didn’t care. Seemed like they need to provide a place for your average person, which makes sense, but that average person is a sale/marketing/design type who won’t be bothered by noise. Not a good option for people trying to focus. Not to mention the coffee type never changed.

Vinnl 9y ago

> I know I could join a coworking space but I question whether it's worth $400+ a month I'm not sure whether this is available in every country/big city, but I've been working from Seats2Meet [1]. You can work there for free, and although it can get noisy, for me, having some buzz around me helps against loneliness and doesn't impact my productivity that much. [1] http://seats2meet.com/ http://seats2meet.com/