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The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

699 points by Firebrand 9y ago

pacificleo11 9y ago
remind me of Whores of Mensa https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1974/12/16/the-whore-of-mensa https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1974/12/16/the-whore-of-m...
callesgg 9y ago
Sounds like the mind of psychopaths.
- jprissi 9y ago
  Obviously not, he's just pragmatic.
  - callesgg 9y ago
    He is building up a lie that if unleashed could destroy a person. If not the person, defensively the relationship between the kid and the mom that hired him.
hkmurakami 9y ago
Went into reading this article expecting it to be a one-off, rental boyfriend type deal (that kind of trope is used very frequently in movies/tv shows/manga there), but this way way deeper than I expected. I'm pretty mind blown at how far they are taking this fake/real replacements. Pretty close to some dystopian scifi actually. >If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the daughter gets married, I have to act as a father in that wedding, and then I have to be the grandfather. So, I always ask every client, “Are you prepared to sustain this lie?” It’s the most significant problem our company has. >Morin: You’re offering a more perfect form of reality? >Yuichi: More ideal. More clean. This is so Truman Show esque.
- moonka 9y ago
  Same here. I can't help but wonder about the ethical implications of lying to a child about something so fundamental for her entire lifetime.
  - thriftwy 9y ago
    It's not lie if everybody accepts and supports it, merely a convention. There's father-by-birth, and then father-by-adoption, and then father-by-convention.
    - kaeluka 9y ago
      The daughter doesn't support it
    - tyingq 9y ago
      Sorry, but it's just terrible. The mother is paying $200/month for a service that could disappear at any moment. The daughter thinks the rental is her real father. That's highly likely to unravel sometime in her life time. Certainly at his funeral...he is using a fake name and personna.
      - imustbeevil 9y ago
        > The mother is paying $200/month for a service that could disappear at any moment. The real father actually did disappear, after a history of abuse.
      - hrktb 9y ago
        I think the fact that the daughter or her surrounding world has troubles rooted in the lack of father representation is the terrible part. Not that someone has to be blamed, but it’s the shitty start of the story. From there if the mother can fake it until her daughter is in a better situation, I think it’s positive. Even if it doesn’t turn out that well, I am not sure it would much more devastating than having been bullied for all that time she was decieved, and it could a start for a discussion on how she deals with her father image.
pfisch 9y ago
This is sick. That girl is going to find out one day that he is not her father and she is going to be very fucked up when she realizes her entire life is a lie and she can't ever trust anyone. I can't believe someone would be willing to do that to someone for $50/hr.
- ZenoArrow 9y ago
  Services like the ones being described are a symptom of the underlying problems. Should these services exist? Probably not. However, it's more helpful to understand why they do. Why do you think these services exist?
  - visarga 9y ago
    Because people have high expectations from life but low willingness to accept and adapt. So they'll rent a fake to cut corners.
    - ZenoArrow 9y ago
      How does that explanation tie up with the example given in the article where a girl was being bullied for not having a father? Is that driven by willingness to cut corners?
      - visarga 9y ago
        In that case the mother wanted to give the girl a fake father experience, she should have tried to give her a real adoptive father instead. The mother wanted to have the perks of a real father without doing the hard work of entering a relation, like everyone does.
        ZenoArrow 9y ago
        Perhaps she wanted her girl to stop being bullied, have you considered that possibility?
- 9y ago
sdrothrock 9y ago
> There was one case of a man in his 60s. His wife died, and he wanted to order another copy of her. We provided that. This was incredibly poignant to me. Japanese society can be incredibly restrictive in its social circles; it's too simple for me to imagine a guy in his 60s with few friends, few opportunities to make more friends, and then his only friend and long-time partner dies. It's too easy to imagine how lost and desperate he might be, why he might want this kind of service to create a fake reality to live in. Some people might read this and think "wow, twisted that people can sell this kind of thing in Japan," but as someone who's lived here for a while, I think "wow, twisted that Japanese society forces people to feel like they need this kind of thing." I struggle to find any kind of up side to the fact that society enables this kind of service, or rather, that this kind of service is even made necessary. Does anyone else see one? Edit: To go into a bit more detail, my problems with society enabling this kind of service are really: 1. Social expectations and pressure 2. Lack of mental health care/counseling/options and awareness
- oh_sigh 9y ago
  What's stopping an otherwise normal late middle aged man from making friends?
  - sdrothrock 9y ago
    It's pretty hard to just up and make friends in Japan. People generally stick to social/activity circles, but even then, you have boundaries. For example, if you have a golfing group, you guys may go out for drinks but that would be that. You'd almost (key word) never go over to someone else's house, or go see movies together, or any of that -- they're your "golf people." But that's assuming that you do have a golf group or whatever. A large number of people just go through life with their friends from elementary, junior high, or high school... and then their friends from college. Then friends from the workplace, if you make any beyond the level of "drinks after work." I know a lot of people who have "drinking friends" from various adult social circles, but their only "real" friends (in the Western sense of people you can chat to about almost anything, do almost anything with, etc.) are a tiny handful of people they've known since junior high or high school. Loneliness is a huge problem in Japan.
thisisit 9y ago
Wow, feels straight out of a Black mirror episode. What really disturbs me is this: > With a burgeoning staff of 800 or so actors, ranging from infants to the elderly, the organization prides itself on being able to provide a surrogate for almost any conceivable situation. Infants!! Reminds me of a Jim Carrey movie - The Truman Show.
- dluan 9y ago
  https://www.marjorieprimethemovie.com/ https://www.marjorieprimethemovie.com/, or the trailer https://youtu.be/a7PtcOLJDco https://youtu.be/a7PtcOLJDco
- dgritsko 9y ago
  > Yuichi: We have a huge variation of employees and the dedication to create an experience that surpasses reality. That’s why our motto is “more than real.” We had a case recently where a dying man wanted to see his grandchild, but it would not have been born in time. His daughter was able to rent an infant for the day. This whole interview was way more gripping than I expected it to be.
- Savageman 9y ago
  Yes, I think it would make a really great plot for a Black Mirror episode!
- barbs 9y ago
  Reminds me a lot of the episode "Be Right Back", where a woman orders an android recreation of her recently dead boyfriend built from photographs and memories. Powerful stuff.
michaeltravis 9y ago
Is this the world that we're creating in modern life?
- FrozenVoid 9y ago
  The best world money can buy, with organic gluten-free interaction with real humans./s
Kiro 9y ago
Wow, I recommend everyone to read the whole piece. The title does not do the interview justice.
stickfigure 9y ago
Can someone confirm that this is real? It reads like (dismal) satire.
- q-base 9y ago
  Halfway through I can't avoid thinking the same - this really reads like an enhanced dystopian version of what may happen in the future.
- ribs 9y ago
  I also would like to see some corroboration. Like, really.
- knlam 9y ago
  Having been living in Japan for 4 years, i doubt this is fake. Loneliness is huge problems in Japan, you just can't become friends with stranger
  - batushka 9y ago
    Would a 1.9m blond bloke find a role or would be considered too foreign? Few gigs would help with travel budget.
    - Bjartr 9y ago
      Very possibly the opposite! Companies will hire westerners to pose (like, literally stand and smile and nothing else) as C-level execs because having foreign execs correlates with a successful international business and thus looks good to potential partners and the like.
      - logfromblammo 9y ago
        I thought that was more common in mainland China than in Japan. Rent-a-gweilo executive impersonation services.
  - gt2 9y ago
andischo 9y ago
This interview makes me wonder where we are heading as the human race. The Japanese society, so certainly very different in some aspects, does strike me as a glimpse into the future of western society. Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there and I believe that this is one of the main reasons, why (face-to-face) social interactions are becoming more infrequent. What struck me the most from the article was the impression that the customers of this service seem to feel especially lonely - or even more worrysome - that some of them view social interactions as hasselsome and being work. If that is the way humans as a whole start thinking than we will have a lot of problems in our future. > For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. > I don’t have a real girlfriend right now. Real dating feels like work. It feels like work to care for a real person.
- gkanai 9y ago
  > Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there Why do you say that? Fax machines are still in regular use in Japan, as are flip phones.
  - ekianjo 9y ago
    Flip phones are mostly reserved to seniors here. Smartphones are everywhere.
- astrange 9y ago
  > Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there Strange to say technology has no impact on American lives spent entirely in front of TVs and steering wheels.
- sdrothrock 9y ago
  > Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there I see this a lot and I'd like to see what kind of technology you think exists here and has an impact on daily life here that doesn't exist/have an impact elsewhere. Japanese technology that reaches the west is often the high-concept/prototype kind that definitely does not have any daily impact on anything, urban or rural. The most ubiquitous pieces of technology I can think of that exist here that do not exist elsewhere are: 1. washlets (fancy bidets) 2. suica (cashless payment via touching a card) and while neither of those exist as such elsewhere, similar things do... and neither of those really impact Japanese society to such a degree that I would consider Japanese society to be a "glimpse into the future of western society." To me, Western society seems to be much further along any curve of alienization, with automatic cars and outsourced phone support (Japanese being a niche language, you're almost guaranteed to be talking to a real Japanese person for phone support). One of the reasons I'm responding to this so strongly is that I dislike the continued "exotification" of Japan as some kind of strange, ineffable future-land and really strive to correct that kind of opinion wherever I can. It's nothing personal, but it only hurts all parties involved when Japan is seen in this light.
anonytrary 9y ago
Wow, this was a surprising article. I am shocked that they are renting themselves out and lying to children about who their parents are. It's unethical and he speaks about it as if it's just fine.
- renox 9y ago
  Except that it was presented as a reaction to other unfair situation: being refused the entrance to a school or being bullied because the father is not here..
gt2 9y ago
Reminds me of a flick called The Wedding Ringer.
cooervo 9y ago
Seems like a focus on money and everything fake has left us to this. This is very depressing.
wuch 9y ago
How wrong was Robet Nozick in his argument about the Experience Machine [0]. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine
anvandare 9y ago
>There are certain memories, yes. There’s a blank sheet, and the client writes the memories that he wants the wife to remember. >For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. There’s no conflict, no jealously, no bad habits. Everything is perfect. The fundamental problem with being human is that there are other humans. They're so unpredictable to deal with. Let's hope the AI finally comes soon, at least you can save/reload those.
cosmic_ape 9y ago
I think there are a couple of really different types of situations these actors resolve. The fake groom for a wedding is just a workaround for a cultural issue, maybe not uniquely Japanese. The society requires a groom, so here is one. I wonder how many politicians today have fake family lives due to similar reasons, for instance. But there are other situations, like fake boyfriends/girlfriends. What the company provides here is trust, sort or removing counter-party risk. The client needs to know that the friend will confirm to certain protocol, will be in a certain way. Many people would do that for free, but the actors are guaranteed to do that. If there was some mechanism to establish that kind of trust without the company, that would be nice. Without that trust, its just the usual dating, of course. And then, there is a commitment aspect. That man acted as a father for 8 years. The must have been growth in that relationship. The actor and the girl developed an inner world in which they exist, are part of each other's lives, and, the girl at least, relies on him to be there in the future. Many man could probably act as fathers for some time, but 8 years, they'd actually have to want to be fathers. edit: maybe its worth adding that this is not a suggestion that that business is a good thing overall. Just an attempt at the analysis of why it might be "booming" (if it indeed statistically is).
- sliverstorm 9y ago
  The fake groom for a wedding is just a workaround for a cultural issue, maybe not uniquely Japanese. The society requires a groom, so here is one. Am I missing something? Is this a typo? This isn't just cultural; how can there be a wedding, without a bride and groom?
  - Hasz 9y ago
    I think the fake groom was in the context of societal pressure to get married, or for a gay couple to marry opposite sex partners. Having a fake groom fulfills these obligations without actually having to live with the stand-in.
sersi 9y ago
This, especially the case of the grandfather who wanted to see his grandchild before dying reminds me of the game "To The Moon". Creating new memories, new reality because the one people are living is just not good enough....
- wrinkl3 9y ago
  The logistics also remind me of Joss Whedon's Dollhouse.
ewrcoffee 9y ago
There's a movie on business like this: The Bride of Rip Van Winkle by Shunji Iwai. But not sure if it is inspired by the exact same company.
wand3r 9y ago
I wonder if having your picture appear in a relatively high profile publication like this would be wise...
- kenning 9y ago
  It would be funny if he hired someone to take the picture for him
  - wand3r 9y ago
    haha someone from a competing firm
musage 9y ago
> the CEO predicts the exponential growth of his business and others like it, as à la carte human interaction becomes the new norm That's neither human nor interaction.
wrinkl3 9y ago
In Japanese business culture, there is a situation where you have to visit a company and say I’m deeply sorry for what I did and just bow and bow. <...> Usually, I accompany a salaryman who made a mistake. I take the identity of the salaryman myself, then I apologize profusely for his mistake. Have you seen the way we say sorry? You go have to down on your hands and knees on the floor. Your hands have to tremble. So, my client is there standing off to the side—the one who actually made the mistake—and I’m prostrate on the floor writhing around, and the boss is there red-faced as he hurls down abuse from above. Sometimes, I wonder to myself, “Am I actually doing this?” This actually sounds like something that could be spun into a separate startup in Japan - people who will pretend to be you in intense politeness-related scenarios.
- krapp 9y ago
  I understand within that culture an apology must be made, and there's a ritual to apology that has to be observed, but I don't understand why an employer would be willing to put up with the ruse. Is there really no social or cultural stigma involved with paying to have someone else to do it on your behalf?
  - novia 9y ago
    The implication I believe is that the company is large enough that the boss would not personally know all the employees. The actor is pretending to be an employee that is responsible for the mistake that the hiring party made, but is not pretending to actually BE the person who hired them.
    - derefr 9y ago
      Or, the client company never met the employee responsible for the service company’s error (they were just tracked down by an internal investigation in the service company) and so theoretically the service company could have sent anybody and the client company wouldn’t have known the difference. The service company wants to send the error-committer, because going through this process is a punishment of sorts; but the client company doesn’t know/hasn’t met who they’re being sent, so the error-committer can fake things along the way. They could probably correct the problem by just sending an escort along with the error-committer, but maybe this kind of thing doesn’t happen enough for them to really care.
chadash 9y ago
This reminds me of an episode of the podcast Weird Work where they interview someone who works as a bridesmaid for hire. For a fee, she'll help with wedding planning and go as far as flying out to act the part of bridesmaid in your wedding [1]. So this isn't just a Japanese thing. Just as I think that most people in the US would find hiring a bridesmaid in the US to be a little bit weird, I'm sure most people in Japan would feel the same way about the service described here. [1] https://bridesmaidforhire.com/ https://bridesmaidforhire.com/
- xkjkls 9y ago
  there was even a kevin hart movie about it
mac01021 9y ago
How can they possibly get anyone to do this job for $50 per hour?
11thEarlOfMar 9y ago
"In an increasingly isolated and entitled society..." If true, it seems an odd mix of outcomes for a national psyche, but perhaps it can be explained. How would a society become both isolated and entitled? Are they independent outcomes with independent causes? Correlated by some common cause? Or did one cause the other?
fnwx17 9y ago
top notch journalism, I couldn't stop until I read the entire article, not skipping any paragraph. the whole thing is just an interview/dialogue, but it's incredibly captivating also, you could make three separate movies on existentialism just with ideas from the article. lastly - the interviewee, he must have such strong philosophical dilemmas
- kenning 9y ago
  yeah, it's so simply written, but the most engaging thing i've seen in months.
- Eliezer 9y ago
  It is in fact a suspiciously perfect interview with a man who specializes in giving optimized impressions.
- jf 9y ago
  I suggest sending the author of the article a note with your complements!
- jdtang13 9y ago
  The article reminds me a lot of a Murakami novel.
Naushad 9y ago
Familia 1996 'Santiago wakes up like any other morning. He goes down to the kitchen and his whole family is waiting for him: it's his birthday. They all sing "Happy Birthday to You" and give him presents. But when he opens the present of his youngest son, he gets angry and says he doesn't like it. The boy starts crying and saying that he loves him, but Santiago answers that he doesn't believe him and he tells the boy that he is fired and that he wants another son, who is thinner, who doesn't need glasses and who resembles him more.'
billmalarky 9y ago
Fascinating. The level of dedication reminds me a bit of Christian Bale's character in The Prestige.
ghostbrainalpha 9y ago
The article is titled "Rent-a-Friend" but the whole story is about a "Rent-a-DAD" for a little girl. That is so much different than Renting a Friend....
itissid 9y ago
There is an industry in japan where people can get fake married[1]. Its very popular among women. Its a sad outcome of a country that penalizes marriage. I remember when a Goldman advisor told Japanese govt to make baby and child care easier to bringing more woman into economy, he quipped "But madam, thats why we are building a big robot industry"(presumably to solve the child care system which is heavily backlogged[2][3]). [1] https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B06Y1JVLD4 https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B06Y1JVLD4 [2] https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/04/17/national/day-care-crisis-stuck-vicious-cycle/#.WgR-l62ZNTY https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/04/17/national/day-ca... [3] https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2016/01/05/460801951/will-more-day-care-help-boost-japans-sluggish-economy https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2016/01/05/460801951/...
grondilu 9y ago
There is a lot of buzz around virtual reality, but it seems to me this kind of business is scarier than any head-mounted display.
jordache 9y ago
horrible interview. Who cares about actors playing as your spouse or whatever. Why didn't interviewer get into the logistics of being able to rent a human infant!? This is perhaps the most inconceivable aspect of this business. Any guesses on the logistics and safety protocols for renting one's infant?
- zimpenfish 9y ago
  Probably the same as already exist for when you rent* one's infant to modelling agencies or film sets?
  - jordache 9y ago
    the guardians can be on set while an infant is on the job. You can't have the real mom follow around while the fake mom is using the rental infant.
    - zimpenfish 9y ago
      A fair point, well made.
zumu 9y ago
Reminds me of one of the main plot lines of Noriko's Dinner Table http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468820/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468820/ The main character works for a similar company to the one mentioned in the article. Not sure if there was a precedent at the time of the film's writing. Looks like fiction has become reality.
z0r 9y ago
http://family-romance.com/index.html http://family-romance.com/index.html translated to english, you will find in the page: Establishment: April 1, 2009 the only reason i would consider this real at all is because "Japan", but i can't buy this this must be an (enjoyable) work of fiction
- clw8 9y ago
  I googled the Japanese name of the company and there are Yahoo Q&A threads about if it's awkward etc. so it is very real.
- gwilkes 9y ago
  The fiscal year in Japan starts April 1st, no relation to April fool's day. I live in Japan and have seen ads for these kinds of services, this is very real.
dbosch 9y ago
A danish director made a film on the topic: he follows a Rent-A-Friend business boss who hides what he is doing for a living to his own family Imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3242460/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3242460/
- pressanykey 9y ago
  A greek director also made a movie based a very similar idea http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1859446/?ref_=nv_sr_1 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1859446/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Also check out his newer movies like The Lobster... really good movies!
zbentley 9y ago
I really hope that employees of this company are provided with access to mental health services as one of their benefits. Without judgement one way or the other, in that line of work, you'd need it.
nabla9 9y ago
Trophy wife relationship might be not so different. We already have commercial close day to day relationships like daycare, teachers, taking care of elderly. Then we have therapists and prostitution. Many lonely people have only workplace friendships that are more artificial than the importance they have in the life of lonely people. But these are all fundamentally honest relationships with defined roles in the society. If a mother wants tho hire father figure for her child, I think the relationship should be honest towards the child and not based on lie. "Hired uncle" would be honest.
timthelion 9y ago
I'm pretty sure this company is real, but that the man being interviewed decided to have some fun and act as an unreliable narrator [1]. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unreliable_narrator https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unreliable_narrator
superb_herb 9y ago
"His daughter was able to rent an infant for the day." This is just astonishing.
jhiska 9y ago
The story seems fake. Does anyone have a link to this "Family Romance" corporation? Where is the proof? Why would the guy be so ruthlessly candid about his immoral failings? Why does he talk in a carefully manicured, but cruel and amoral way -- why is he dissing his own product? Why would he plaster his face on The Atlantic when he depends on anonymity? They have 800 employees -- that's large; why haven't we heard of this before? Why is he so knowledgeable about what English-speakers don't know about Japan and so able to help us understand -- has he lived and studied extensively abroad? Why is he able to understand what he does is immoral but is unwilling to change even as it affects him so deeply -- why doesn't he get a new job? What would happen to his clients if he decided to stop working for them -- how legally binding would his contract be? Is he legally obligated to keep lying even if he changes his job -- that's impossible, right? No one is legally obligated to lie. Is the business really "booming" when it seems to be so unknown -- and, in fact, relies on keeping a low-profile for maximum effectiveness? How did the clients find them -- and how did everyone else not find them? Where are other, reliable articles about this? The only other source I find is The Sun and people have mentioned Yahoo! Answers, which aren't reliable sources. Can someone in Japan confirm this? It screams of fictional writing.
- HHest 9y ago
  Link is provided in the article. Am also surprised that the actor allowed his photo to appear. In fact, the website, which is in Japanese, has many photos. I wonder if they are of employees who work there. That would seem counterproductive.
  - jhiska 9y ago
    You are indeed right that there is a website. A website could be manufactured if this is part of a clever viral campaign for some dystopian book or film. Where is reliable proof? Can someone in Japan confirm this?
- uremog 9y ago
  http://family-romance.com/ http://family-romance.com/
- 9y ago
pvelagal 9y ago
"booming" business ? Does it indicate something wrong with the society ?
austinhutch 9y ago
This book is very much aligned with the topic presented in the article if you want to examine how similar services are springing up in the west https://www.amazon.com/Outsourced-Self-Happens-Others-Lives/dp/1250024196 https://www.amazon.com/Outsourced-Self-Happens-Others-Lives/...
uremog 9y ago
Just imagine the cost for providing five-nines on that service.
LightWalnut 9y ago
Honestly on the issue of the mother renting a father for her daughter, I think what needs to be emphasized is that this issue is not black and white. I personally think that perhaps she ought to be more up front about this to her daughter. Even something like "this person is not your father, but you can think of him a father figure", is better than straight up concealing the truth. Although that's just what I think. No one is actually fit to judge the mother's actions because no one has been in her place or had the same, exact experience/situation. So it's unfair to simply accuse her actions of being "immoral" or calling her names. To be fair everyone has done things which wouldn't be considered "righteous" by other's standards. Only you can determine your actions. No one is not fit to judge others.
blablabla123 9y ago
This is so wrong on so many levels. A friend of mine (Germany) was told that the mother's boyfriend is her real father. When she was told that he is not, she started suffering from panic attacks. The article already describes the problem but not really the consequences which must be devastating. IMHO this practice should became illegal and if at all there should be programs or even companies to fix the actual problems.
ringaroundthetx 9y ago
> Yuichi: Sometimes we dine together. We’ve been to theme parks, like Disneyland. We go shopping in Harajuku once a month. The mother pays about 20,000 yen per four hours, plus expenses. That’s about $200. Nice, this looks like a great way to break even on your alimony and child support payments.
white-flame 9y ago
The first example is bringing on a fake husband because the private school doesn't accept children of single mothers. Regardless of the social weirdness, I wonder how often a service like this is used for straight-up fraud?
eric_khun 9y ago
If anyone of you reading this comment from Tokyo and want a buddy to work from cafes/co-working, hit me up :) same username on twitter
lawowners 9y ago
This concept has been explored in many sci-fi shows and movies. Example: "Be Right Back" (Black Mirror Season 2, Episode 1), "Dollhouse", "Robot", etc.
tai_hn 9y ago
Why is he showing his face by the way? What if his fake daughter find that out?
shanwang 9y ago
Sounds like the script of a Black Mirror episode.
cJ0th 9y ago
> For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. I fail to fully relate to this sentiment. I get that a failed relationship that you've invested huge amounts of time in is heart breaking. It seems logical (albeit unhealthy) to thus stop chasing real relationships. What I then don't understand: Why is having a fake relationship preferable to one that might go south? Either the "real" relationship turns out to be "fake". In that case the one that is "fake" from the beginning is no better. That is, the upshot is no true soulmate in both cases. Or, the "real" relationship turns out to be great. In that case the acceptance of uncertainty will pay dividends. To me it seems that these people don't actually want a real relationship because no real relationship can come with the limited amount of attributes they desire. It's like they're complaining about an awesome Italien Pizza because it doesn't match a frozen one.
24gttghh 9y ago
>Yuichi: There’s a manual for everything in this company. We use psychology to determine the optimal outcome. In this case, the standard tactic is to make me look like a yakuza [gangster]. Typically, I arrive with the wife, and the husband is there, and suddenly I will just bow then deeply apologize. Usually, the husband will berate me, but because I appear to be a yakuza, he won’t pursue the matter further. Ethical questions aside, this is dangerously brilliant. Better hope the actual Yakuza doesn't find out...
fogetti 9y ago
Unbelievable. I am shocked. This is so sad on so many levels.
sealthedeal 9y ago
this just f'ed me up a little bit
nictrix 9y ago
This seems to be one step away from The Island movie
fallingfrog 9y ago
This made me weep a little bit. Such loneliness in this world! I feel like this is what the logical endpoint of total capitalism would look like- things have been headed in this direction for a while with first the making of household items, and farming, then the preparation of food (restaurants) and the raising of children (schools) now performed by paid labor. I guess it could go even farther, one could imagine a future in which all relationships are mediated through money.. it's not a future I like.

699 points by Firebrand 9y ago

remind me of Whores of Mensa https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1974/12/16/the-whore-of-mensa https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1974/12/16/the-whore-of-m...

callesgg 9y ago

Sounds like the mind of psychopaths.

jprissi 9y ago
Obviously not, he's just pragmatic.
- callesgg 9y ago
  He is building up a lie that if unleashed could destroy a person. If not the person, defensively the relationship between the kid and the mom that hired him.

hkmurakami 9y ago

Went into reading this article expecting it to be a one-off, rental boyfriend type deal (that kind of trope is used very frequently in movies/tv shows/manga there), but this way way deeper than I expected. I'm pretty mind blown at how far they are taking this fake/real replacements. Pretty close to some dystopian scifi actually. >If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the daughter gets married, I have to act as a father in that wedding, and then I have to be the grandfather. So, I always ask every client, “Are you prepared to sustain this lie?” It’s the most significant problem our company has. >Morin: You’re offering a more perfect form of reality? >Yuichi: More ideal. More clean. This is so Truman Show esque.

moonka 9y ago
Same here. I can't help but wonder about the ethical implications of lying to a child about something so fundamental for her entire lifetime.
- thriftwy 9y ago
  It's not lie if everybody accepts and supports it, merely a convention. There's father-by-birth, and then father-by-adoption, and then father-by-convention.
  - kaeluka 9y ago
    The daughter doesn't support it
  - tyingq 9y ago
    Sorry, but it's just terrible. The mother is paying $200/month for a service that could disappear at any moment. The daughter thinks the rental is her real father. That's highly likely to unravel sometime in her life time. Certainly at his funeral...he is using a fake name and personna.
    - imustbeevil 9y ago
      > The mother is paying $200/month for a service that could disappear at any moment. The real father actually did disappear, after a history of abuse.
    - hrktb 9y ago
      I think the fact that the daughter or her surrounding world has troubles rooted in the lack of father representation is the terrible part. Not that someone has to be blamed, but it’s the shitty start of the story. From there if the mother can fake it until her daughter is in a better situation, I think it’s positive. Even if it doesn’t turn out that well, I am not sure it would much more devastating than having been bullied for all that time she was decieved, and it could a start for a discussion on how she deals with her father image.

pfisch 9y ago

This is sick. That girl is going to find out one day that he is not her father and she is going to be very fucked up when she realizes her entire life is a lie and she can't ever trust anyone. I can't believe someone would be willing to do that to someone for $50/hr.

ZenoArrow 9y ago
Services like the ones being described are a symptom of the underlying problems. Should these services exist? Probably not. However, it's more helpful to understand why they do. Why do you think these services exist?
- visarga 9y ago
  Because people have high expectations from life but low willingness to accept and adapt. So they'll rent a fake to cut corners.
  - ZenoArrow 9y ago
    How does that explanation tie up with the example given in the article where a girl was being bullied for not having a father? Is that driven by willingness to cut corners?
    - visarga 9y ago
      In that case the mother wanted to give the girl a fake father experience, she should have tried to give her a real adoptive father instead. The mother wanted to have the perks of a real father without doing the hard work of entering a relation, like everyone does.
      - ZenoArrow 9y ago
        Perhaps she wanted her girl to stop being bullied, have you considered that possibility?
9y ago

sdrothrock 9y ago

> There was one case of a man in his 60s. His wife died, and he wanted to order another copy of her. We provided that. This was incredibly poignant to me. Japanese society can be incredibly restrictive in its social circles; it's too simple for me to imagine a guy in his 60s with few friends, few opportunities to make more friends, and then his only friend and long-time partner dies. It's too easy to imagine how lost and desperate he might be, why he might want this kind of service to create a fake reality to live in. Some people might read this and think "wow, twisted that people can sell this kind of thing in Japan," but as someone who's lived here for a while, I think "wow, twisted that Japanese society forces people to feel like they need this kind of thing." I struggle to find any kind of up side to the fact that society enables this kind of service, or rather, that this kind of service is even made necessary. Does anyone else see one? Edit: To go into a bit more detail, my problems with society enabling this kind of service are really: 1. Social expectations and pressure 2. Lack of mental health care/counseling/options and awareness

oh_sigh 9y ago
What's stopping an otherwise normal late middle aged man from making friends?
- sdrothrock 9y ago
  It's pretty hard to just up and make friends in Japan. People generally stick to social/activity circles, but even then, you have boundaries. For example, if you have a golfing group, you guys may go out for drinks but that would be that. You'd almost (key word) never go over to someone else's house, or go see movies together, or any of that -- they're your "golf people." But that's assuming that you do have a golf group or whatever. A large number of people just go through life with their friends from elementary, junior high, or high school... and then their friends from college. Then friends from the workplace, if you make any beyond the level of "drinks after work." I know a lot of people who have "drinking friends" from various adult social circles, but their only "real" friends (in the Western sense of people you can chat to about almost anything, do almost anything with, etc.) are a tiny handful of people they've known since junior high or high school. Loneliness is a huge problem in Japan.

thisisit 9y ago

Wow, feels straight out of a Black mirror episode. What really disturbs me is this: > With a burgeoning staff of 800 or so actors, ranging from infants to the elderly, the organization prides itself on being able to provide a surrogate for almost any conceivable situation. Infants!! Reminds me of a Jim Carrey movie - The Truman Show.

dluan 9y ago
https://www.marjorieprimethemovie.com/ https://www.marjorieprimethemovie.com/, or the trailer https://youtu.be/a7PtcOLJDco https://youtu.be/a7PtcOLJDco
dgritsko 9y ago
> Yuichi: We have a huge variation of employees and the dedication to create an experience that surpasses reality. That’s why our motto is “more than real.” We had a case recently where a dying man wanted to see his grandchild, but it would not have been born in time. His daughter was able to rent an infant for the day. This whole interview was way more gripping than I expected it to be.
Savageman 9y ago
Yes, I think it would make a really great plot for a Black Mirror episode!
barbs 9y ago
Reminds me a lot of the episode "Be Right Back", where a woman orders an android recreation of her recently dead boyfriend built from photographs and memories. Powerful stuff.

michaeltravis 9y ago

Is this the world that we're creating in modern life?

FrozenVoid 9y ago
The best world money can buy, with organic gluten-free interaction with real humans./s

Kiro 9y ago

Wow, I recommend everyone to read the whole piece. The title does not do the interview justice.

stickfigure 9y ago

Can someone confirm that this is real? It reads like (dismal) satire.

q-base 9y ago
Halfway through I can't avoid thinking the same - this really reads like an enhanced dystopian version of what may happen in the future.
ribs 9y ago
I also would like to see some corroboration. Like, really.
knlam 9y ago
Having been living in Japan for 4 years, i doubt this is fake. Loneliness is huge problems in Japan, you just can't become friends with stranger
- batushka 9y ago
  Would a 1.9m blond bloke find a role or would be considered too foreign? Few gigs would help with travel budget.
  - Bjartr 9y ago
    Very possibly the opposite! Companies will hire westerners to pose (like, literally stand and smile and nothing else) as C-level execs because having foreign execs correlates with a successful international business and thus looks good to potential partners and the like.
    - logfromblammo 9y ago
      I thought that was more common in mainland China than in Japan. Rent-a-gweilo executive impersonation services.
- gt2 9y ago

andischo 9y ago

This interview makes me wonder where we are heading as the human race. The Japanese society, so certainly very different in some aspects, does strike me as a glimpse into the future of western society. Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there and I believe that this is one of the main reasons, why (face-to-face) social interactions are becoming more infrequent. What struck me the most from the article was the impression that the customers of this service seem to feel especially lonely - or even more worrysome - that some of them view social interactions as hasselsome and being work. If that is the way humans as a whole start thinking than we will have a lot of problems in our future. > For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. > I don’t have a real girlfriend right now. Real dating feels like work. It feels like work to care for a real person.

gkanai 9y ago
> Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there Why do you say that? Fax machines are still in regular use in Japan, as are flip phones.
- ekianjo 9y ago
  Flip phones are mostly reserved to seniors here. Smartphones are everywhere.
astrange 9y ago
> Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there Strange to say technology has no impact on American lives spent entirely in front of TVs and steering wheels.
sdrothrock 9y ago
> Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there I see this a lot and I'd like to see what kind of technology you think exists here and has an impact on daily life here that doesn't exist/have an impact elsewhere. Japanese technology that reaches the west is often the high-concept/prototype kind that definitely does not have any daily impact on anything, urban or rural. The most ubiquitous pieces of technology I can think of that exist here that do not exist elsewhere are: 1. washlets (fancy bidets) 2. suica (cashless payment via touching a card) and while neither of those exist as such elsewhere, similar things do... and neither of those really impact Japanese society to such a degree that I would consider Japanese society to be a "glimpse into the future of western society." To me, Western society seems to be much further along any curve of alienization, with automatic cars and outsourced phone support (Japanese being a niche language, you're almost guaranteed to be talking to a real Japanese person for phone support). One of the reasons I'm responding to this so strongly is that I dislike the continued "exotification" of Japan as some kind of strange, ineffable future-land and really strive to correct that kind of opinion wherever I can. It's nothing personal, but it only hurts all parties involved when Japan is seen in this light.

anonytrary 9y ago

Wow, this was a surprising article. I am shocked that they are renting themselves out and lying to children about who their parents are. It's unethical and he speaks about it as if it's just fine.

renox 9y ago
Except that it was presented as a reaction to other unfair situation: being refused the entrance to a school or being bullied because the father is not here..

gt2 9y ago

Reminds me of a flick called The Wedding Ringer.

cooervo 9y ago

Seems like a focus on money and everything fake has left us to this. This is very depressing.

wuch 9y ago

How wrong was Robet Nozick in his argument about the Experience Machine [0]. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine

anvandare 9y ago

>There are certain memories, yes. There’s a blank sheet, and the client writes the memories that he wants the wife to remember. >For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. There’s no conflict, no jealously, no bad habits. Everything is perfect. The fundamental problem with being human is that there are other humans. They're so unpredictable to deal with. Let's hope the AI finally comes soon, at least you can save/reload those.

cosmic_ape 9y ago

I think there are a couple of really different types of situations these actors resolve. The fake groom for a wedding is just a workaround for a cultural issue, maybe not uniquely Japanese. The society requires a groom, so here is one. I wonder how many politicians today have fake family lives due to similar reasons, for instance. But there are other situations, like fake boyfriends/girlfriends. What the company provides here is trust, sort or removing counter-party risk. The client needs to know that the friend will confirm to certain protocol, will be in a certain way. Many people would do that for free, but the actors are guaranteed to do that. If there was some mechanism to establish that kind of trust without the company, that would be nice. Without that trust, its just the usual dating, of course. And then, there is a commitment aspect. That man acted as a father for 8 years. The must have been growth in that relationship. The actor and the girl developed an inner world in which they exist, are part of each other's lives, and, the girl at least, relies on him to be there in the future. Many man could probably act as fathers for some time, but 8 years, they'd actually have to want to be fathers. edit: maybe its worth adding that this is not a suggestion that that business is a good thing overall. Just an attempt at the analysis of why it might be "booming" (if it indeed statistically is).

sliverstorm 9y ago
The fake groom for a wedding is just a workaround for a cultural issue, maybe not uniquely Japanese. The society requires a groom, so here is one. Am I missing something? Is this a typo? This isn't just cultural; how can there be a wedding, without a bride and groom?
- Hasz 9y ago
  I think the fake groom was in the context of societal pressure to get married, or for a gay couple to marry opposite sex partners. Having a fake groom fulfills these obligations without actually having to live with the stand-in.

sersi 9y ago

This, especially the case of the grandfather who wanted to see his grandchild before dying reminds me of the game "To The Moon". Creating new memories, new reality because the one people are living is just not good enough....

wrinkl3 9y ago
The logistics also remind me of Joss Whedon's Dollhouse.

ewrcoffee 9y ago

There's a movie on business like this: The Bride of Rip Van Winkle by Shunji Iwai. But not sure if it is inspired by the exact same company.

wand3r 9y ago

I wonder if having your picture appear in a relatively high profile publication like this would be wise...

kenning 9y ago
It would be funny if he hired someone to take the picture for him
- wand3r 9y ago
  haha someone from a competing firm

musage 9y ago

> the CEO predicts the exponential growth of his business and others like it, as à la carte human interaction becomes the new norm That's neither human nor interaction.

wrinkl3 9y ago

In Japanese business culture, there is a situation where you have to visit a company and say I’m deeply sorry for what I did and just bow and bow. <...> Usually, I accompany a salaryman who made a mistake. I take the identity of the salaryman myself, then I apologize profusely for his mistake. Have you seen the way we say sorry? You go have to down on your hands and knees on the floor. Your hands have to tremble. So, my client is there standing off to the side—the one who actually made the mistake—and I’m prostrate on the floor writhing around, and the boss is there red-faced as he hurls down abuse from above. Sometimes, I wonder to myself, “Am I actually doing this?” This actually sounds like something that could be spun into a separate startup in Japan - people who will pretend to be you in intense politeness-related scenarios.

krapp 9y ago
I understand within that culture an apology must be made, and there's a ritual to apology that has to be observed, but I don't understand why an employer would be willing to put up with the ruse. Is there really no social or cultural stigma involved with paying to have someone else to do it on your behalf?
- novia 9y ago
  The implication I believe is that the company is large enough that the boss would not personally know all the employees. The actor is pretending to be an employee that is responsible for the mistake that the hiring party made, but is not pretending to actually BE the person who hired them.
  - derefr 9y ago
    Or, the client company never met the employee responsible for the service company’s error (they were just tracked down by an internal investigation in the service company) and so theoretically the service company could have sent anybody and the client company wouldn’t have known the difference. The service company wants to send the error-committer, because going through this process is a punishment of sorts; but the client company doesn’t know/hasn’t met who they’re being sent, so the error-committer can fake things along the way. They could probably correct the problem by just sending an escort along with the error-committer, but maybe this kind of thing doesn’t happen enough for them to really care.

chadash 9y ago

This reminds me of an episode of the podcast Weird Work where they interview someone who works as a bridesmaid for hire. For a fee, she'll help with wedding planning and go as far as flying out to act the part of bridesmaid in your wedding [1]. So this isn't just a Japanese thing. Just as I think that most people in the US would find hiring a bridesmaid in the US to be a little bit weird, I'm sure most people in Japan would feel the same way about the service described here. [1] https://bridesmaidforhire.com/ https://bridesmaidforhire.com/

xkjkls 9y ago
there was even a kevin hart movie about it

mac01021 9y ago

How can they possibly get anyone to do this job for $50 per hour?

11thEarlOfMar 9y ago

"In an increasingly isolated and entitled society..." If true, it seems an odd mix of outcomes for a national psyche, but perhaps it can be explained. How would a society become both isolated and entitled? Are they independent outcomes with independent causes? Correlated by some common cause? Or did one cause the other?

fnwx17 9y ago

top notch journalism, I couldn't stop until I read the entire article, not skipping any paragraph. the whole thing is just an interview/dialogue, but it's incredibly captivating also, you could make three separate movies on existentialism just with ideas from the article. lastly - the interviewee, he must have such strong philosophical dilemmas

kenning 9y ago
yeah, it's so simply written, but the most engaging thing i've seen in months.
Eliezer 9y ago
It is in fact a suspiciously perfect interview with a man who specializes in giving optimized impressions.
jf 9y ago
I suggest sending the author of the article a note with your complements!
jdtang13 9y ago
The article reminds me a lot of a Murakami novel.

Naushad 9y ago

Familia 1996 'Santiago wakes up like any other morning. He goes down to the kitchen and his whole family is waiting for him: it's his birthday. They all sing "Happy Birthday to You" and give him presents. But when he opens the present of his youngest son, he gets angry and says he doesn't like it. The boy starts crying and saying that he loves him, but Santiago answers that he doesn't believe him and he tells the boy that he is fired and that he wants another son, who is thinner, who doesn't need glasses and who resembles him more.'

billmalarky 9y ago

Fascinating. The level of dedication reminds me a bit of Christian Bale's character in The Prestige.

ghostbrainalpha 9y ago

The article is titled "Rent-a-Friend" but the whole story is about a "Rent-a-DAD" for a little girl. That is so much different than Renting a Friend....

itissid 9y ago

There is an industry in japan where people can get fake married[1]. Its very popular among women. Its a sad outcome of a country that penalizes marriage. I remember when a Goldman advisor told Japanese govt to make baby and child care easier to bringing more woman into economy, he quipped "But madam, thats why we are building a big robot industry"(presumably to solve the child care system which is heavily backlogged[2][3]). [1] https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B06Y1JVLD4 https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B06Y1JVLD4 [2] https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/04/17/national/day-care-crisis-stuck-vicious-cycle/#.WgR-l62ZNTY https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/04/17/national/day-ca... [3] https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2016/01/05/460801951/will-more-day-care-help-boost-japans-sluggish-economy https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2016/01/05/460801951/...

grondilu 9y ago

There is a lot of buzz around virtual reality, but it seems to me this kind of business is scarier than any head-mounted display.

jordache 9y ago

horrible interview. Who cares about actors playing as your spouse or whatever. Why didn't interviewer get into the logistics of being able to rent a human infant!? This is perhaps the most inconceivable aspect of this business. Any guesses on the logistics and safety protocols for renting one's infant?

zimpenfish 9y ago
Probably the same as already exist for when you rent* one's infant to modelling agencies or film sets?
- jordache 9y ago
  the guardians can be on set while an infant is on the job. You can't have the real mom follow around while the fake mom is using the rental infant.
  - zimpenfish 9y ago
    A fair point, well made.

zumu 9y ago

Reminds me of one of the main plot lines of Noriko's Dinner Table http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468820/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468820/ The main character works for a similar company to the one mentioned in the article. Not sure if there was a precedent at the time of the film's writing. Looks like fiction has become reality.

z0r 9y ago

http://family-romance.com/index.html http://family-romance.com/index.html translated to english, you will find in the page: Establishment: April 1, 2009 the only reason i would consider this real at all is because "Japan", but i can't buy this this must be an (enjoyable) work of fiction

clw8 9y ago
I googled the Japanese name of the company and there are Yahoo Q&A threads about if it's awkward etc. so it is very real.
gwilkes 9y ago
The fiscal year in Japan starts April 1st, no relation to April fool's day. I live in Japan and have seen ads for these kinds of services, this is very real.

dbosch 9y ago

A danish director made a film on the topic: he follows a Rent-A-Friend business boss who hides what he is doing for a living to his own family Imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3242460/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3242460/

pressanykey 9y ago
A greek director also made a movie based a very similar idea http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1859446/?ref_=nv_sr_1 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1859446/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Also check out his newer movies like The Lobster... really good movies!

zbentley 9y ago

I really hope that employees of this company are provided with access to mental health services as one of their benefits. Without judgement one way or the other, in that line of work, you'd need it.

nabla9 9y ago

Trophy wife relationship might be not so different. We already have commercial close day to day relationships like daycare, teachers, taking care of elderly. Then we have therapists and prostitution. Many lonely people have only workplace friendships that are more artificial than the importance they have in the life of lonely people. But these are all fundamentally honest relationships with defined roles in the society. If a mother wants tho hire father figure for her child, I think the relationship should be honest towards the child and not based on lie. "Hired uncle" would be honest.

timthelion 9y ago

I'm pretty sure this company is real, but that the man being interviewed decided to have some fun and act as an unreliable narrator [1]. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unreliable_narrator https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unreliable_narrator

superb_herb 9y ago

"His daughter was able to rent an infant for the day." This is just astonishing.

jhiska 9y ago

The story seems fake. Does anyone have a link to this "Family Romance" corporation? Where is the proof? Why would the guy be so ruthlessly candid about his immoral failings? Why does he talk in a carefully manicured, but cruel and amoral way -- why is he dissing his own product? Why would he plaster his face on The Atlantic when he depends on anonymity? They have 800 employees -- that's large; why haven't we heard of this before? Why is he so knowledgeable about what English-speakers don't know about Japan and so able to help us understand -- has he lived and studied extensively abroad? Why is he able to understand what he does is immoral but is unwilling to change even as it affects him so deeply -- why doesn't he get a new job? What would happen to his clients if he decided to stop working for them -- how legally binding would his contract be? Is he legally obligated to keep lying even if he changes his job -- that's impossible, right? No one is legally obligated to lie. Is the business really "booming" when it seems to be so unknown -- and, in fact, relies on keeping a low-profile for maximum effectiveness? How did the clients find them -- and how did everyone else not find them? Where are other, reliable articles about this? The only other source I find is The Sun and people have mentioned Yahoo! Answers, which aren't reliable sources. Can someone in Japan confirm this? It screams of fictional writing.

HHest 9y ago
Link is provided in the article. Am also surprised that the actor allowed his photo to appear. In fact, the website, which is in Japanese, has many photos. I wonder if they are of employees who work there. That would seem counterproductive.
- jhiska 9y ago
  You are indeed right that there is a website. A website could be manufactured if this is part of a clever viral campaign for some dystopian book or film. Where is reliable proof? Can someone in Japan confirm this?
uremog 9y ago
http://family-romance.com/ http://family-romance.com/
9y ago

pvelagal 9y ago

"booming" business ? Does it indicate something wrong with the society ?

austinhutch 9y ago

This book is very much aligned with the topic presented in the article if you want to examine how similar services are springing up in the west https://www.amazon.com/Outsourced-Self-Happens-Others-Lives/dp/1250024196 https://www.amazon.com/Outsourced-Self-Happens-Others-Lives/...

uremog 9y ago

Just imagine the cost for providing five-nines on that service.

LightWalnut 9y ago

Honestly on the issue of the mother renting a father for her daughter, I think what needs to be emphasized is that this issue is not black and white. I personally think that perhaps she ought to be more up front about this to her daughter. Even something like "this person is not your father, but you can think of him a father figure", is better than straight up concealing the truth. Although that's just what I think. No one is actually fit to judge the mother's actions because no one has been in her place or had the same, exact experience/situation. So it's unfair to simply accuse her actions of being "immoral" or calling her names. To be fair everyone has done things which wouldn't be considered "righteous" by other's standards. Only you can determine your actions. No one is not fit to judge others.

blablabla123 9y ago

This is so wrong on so many levels. A friend of mine (Germany) was told that the mother's boyfriend is her real father. When she was told that he is not, she started suffering from panic attacks. The article already describes the problem but not really the consequences which must be devastating. IMHO this practice should became illegal and if at all there should be programs or even companies to fix the actual problems.

ringaroundthetx 9y ago

> Yuichi: Sometimes we dine together. We’ve been to theme parks, like Disneyland. We go shopping in Harajuku once a month. The mother pays about 20,000 yen per four hours, plus expenses. That’s about $200. Nice, this looks like a great way to break even on your alimony and child support payments.

white-flame 9y ago

The first example is bringing on a fake husband because the private school doesn't accept children of single mothers. Regardless of the social weirdness, I wonder how often a service like this is used for straight-up fraud?

eric_khun 9y ago

If anyone of you reading this comment from Tokyo and want a buddy to work from cafes/co-working, hit me up :) same username on twitter

lawowners 9y ago

This concept has been explored in many sci-fi shows and movies. Example: "Be Right Back" (Black Mirror Season 2, Episode 1), "Dollhouse", "Robot", etc.

tai_hn 9y ago

Why is he showing his face by the way? What if his fake daughter find that out?

shanwang 9y ago

Sounds like the script of a Black Mirror episode.

cJ0th 9y ago

> For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. I fail to fully relate to this sentiment. I get that a failed relationship that you've invested huge amounts of time in is heart breaking. It seems logical (albeit unhealthy) to thus stop chasing real relationships. What I then don't understand: Why is having a fake relationship preferable to one that might go south? Either the "real" relationship turns out to be "fake". In that case the one that is "fake" from the beginning is no better. That is, the upshot is no true soulmate in both cases. Or, the "real" relationship turns out to be great. In that case the acceptance of uncertainty will pay dividends. To me it seems that these people don't actually want a real relationship because no real relationship can come with the limited amount of attributes they desire. It's like they're complaining about an awesome Italien Pizza because it doesn't match a frozen one.

24gttghh 9y ago

>Yuichi: There’s a manual for everything in this company. We use psychology to determine the optimal outcome. In this case, the standard tactic is to make me look like a yakuza [gangster]. Typically, I arrive with the wife, and the husband is there, and suddenly I will just bow then deeply apologize. Usually, the husband will berate me, but because I appear to be a yakuza, he won’t pursue the matter further. Ethical questions aside, this is dangerously brilliant. Better hope the actual Yakuza doesn't find out...

fogetti 9y ago

Unbelievable. I am shocked. This is so sad on so many levels.

sealthedeal 9y ago

this just f'ed me up a little bit

nictrix 9y ago

This seems to be one step away from The Island movie

fallingfrog 9y ago

This made me weep a little bit. Such loneliness in this world! I feel like this is what the logical endpoint of total capitalism would look like- things have been headed in this direction for a while with first the making of household items, and farming, then the preparation of food (restaurants) and the raising of children (schools) now performed by paid labor. I guess it could go even farther, one could imagine a future in which all relationships are mediated through money.. it's not a future I like.