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Based on our historic experience with men, if they treat us like that over email, it is probable they will treat us like that in person. His behaviour made her

Based on our historic experience with men, if they treat us like that over email, it is probable they will treat us like that in person. His behaviour made her feel unsafe. Why would you knowing put yourself into an unsafe situation.

deleted 9y ago
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pfarnsworth 9y ago
Treat you like what? Where was the threat in the email? Did he call OP a "bitch", "slut", etc? Did he belittle her? He asked her for his share of the prize and said that if she didn't then he would pursue it unilaterally. Since when did that mean he was going to physically harm her? Sorry, I believe sexual harassment occurs in the tech industry and should be stamped out, but this is not a case of it.
- orwin 9y ago
  Tis is NOT a case of sexual harassment. He might be unknowingly threatening (best case scenario, the one i believe), or downright manipulative, either way she do not want to work with him. He joined her on the project and she offered to give him 2 of the 3 tickets then he started his passive-agressive emails. I got those from people i worked with too, every time i just left the project (mainly because it was never mine). This type of passive-agressive behaviour exist very much in tech, mainly because this behaviour is related with self-entitlment and goes well with smug personnalities.
Osseric 9y ago
Based on our historic experience with women, if they treat us like disposable collective garbage, it is probable that they will continue to do so. My point is that this inference of "always unsafe", and "always vigilant" is delusional. Sure, awful things happen constantly around the world, the probability of that at a hackathon related event? In a developed country? The only perceived threat is some emails? Do you not realize how silly it sounds to believe any of this is threatening? It just seems out of touch with actual victims.
pfarnsworth 9y ago
And let me guess: the fact that this post was downvoted is more proof that HN and the tech industry is sexist? Spoiler alert: No, it's because there's no evidence of sexism or harassment in the OP's own account.
graboy 9y ago
I don't believe that this is specific to men. If an individual is threatening over email then it is more probable that they will be threatening in person in general. If Mark's behavior made the author feel threatened then she has the right to avoid further interaction with him. But as others have pointed out, the emails sent are not threatening in the way that the author describes them, and there isn't really any evidence of "harassment". The author describes Mark's "intensity" while working with him at the Hackathon. It seems likely that this intensity carries over into the way he writes emails as well, which made the author feel unsafe.

deleted 9y ago

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pfarnsworth 9y ago

Treat you like what? Where was the threat in the email? Did he call OP a "bitch", "slut", etc? Did he belittle her? He asked her for his share of the prize and said that if she didn't then he would pursue it unilaterally. Since when did that mean he was going to physically harm her? Sorry, I believe sexual harassment occurs in the tech industry and should be stamped out, but this is not a case of it.

orwin 9y ago
Tis is NOT a case of sexual harassment. He might be unknowingly threatening (best case scenario, the one i believe), or downright manipulative, either way she do not want to work with him. He joined her on the project and she offered to give him 2 of the 3 tickets then he started his passive-agressive emails. I got those from people i worked with too, every time i just left the project (mainly because it was never mine). This type of passive-agressive behaviour exist very much in tech, mainly because this behaviour is related with self-entitlment and goes well with smug personnalities.

Osseric 9y ago

Based on our historic experience with women, if they treat us like disposable collective garbage, it is probable that they will continue to do so. My point is that this inference of "always unsafe", and "always vigilant" is delusional. Sure, awful things happen constantly around the world, the probability of that at a hackathon related event? In a developed country? The only perceived threat is some emails? Do you not realize how silly it sounds to believe any of this is threatening? It just seems out of touch with actual victims.

pfarnsworth 9y ago

And let me guess: the fact that this post was downvoted is more proof that HN and the tech industry is sexist? Spoiler alert: No, it's because there's no evidence of sexism or harassment in the OP's own account.

graboy 9y ago

I don't believe that this is specific to men. If an individual is threatening over email then it is more probable that they will be threatening in person in general. If Mark's behavior made the author feel threatened then she has the right to avoid further interaction with him. But as others have pointed out, the emails sent are not threatening in the way that the author describes them, and there isn't really any evidence of "harassment". The author describes Mark's "intensity" while working with him at the Hackathon. It seems likely that this intensity carries over into the way he writes emails as well, which made the author feel unsafe.