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If there's one thing to learn I think it's that men can do far far more (like the intervening guys in the article) to step in and be far less tolerant of such g
by dhruvp 9y ago
If there's one thing to learn I think it's that men can do far far more (like the intervening guys in the article) to step in and be far less tolerant of such grotesque behavior. Most men here (of which I'm one) have all probably witnessed some creepy comments and acts from our guy friends or colleagues and let it go. I think that has to come to an end. I know personally I can do better and would hope that if anything, we all demand more from each other.
- 0ioI0j-o 9y agoI 100% agree. I also felt compelled to mention that I've witnessed men making what I have felt are creepy comments / moves on women and they've actually worked (in that they received positive responses from the woman). Life is complex.
- Mz 9y agoAbusive men often target women who have been previously abused. A woman who has been previously treated badly may not readily recognize a nicer expression of sexual interest. They still have sexual and emotional needs. So, they hook up with the men that they are able to comprehend as actively interested. Yes, it is complicated. But, the receptivity of some women mostly goes to show how deep the problem goes and how pervasive it is.
- fgjjgutjvnu 9y agoSo basically, you know better than those other people (women) what is good for them. Sure thing.
- Yizahi 9y agoIf you are attractive(1) and treat women badly vs. if you are not attractive and has "normal" personality - guess whom women will choose. :) (1) meaning whole person - physical appearance, voice, gestures etc.
- Frondo 9y agoYou see a guy making a creepy move, you call him out. Simple as that. You don't know if it's "working" because she's trying to keep him at ease til she can dash for the door, or why. See shitty, harassing, abusive behavior, call it out. For too long, we all let this stand. No more. Risk your job, risk short-term awkwardness, risk whatever because the women in the world deserve better than being targets while we stand around like cowards.
- EwanToo 9y agoPretty sad that you've been voted down for this...
- rimliu 9y agoAfter #meetoo I was thinking how many someones' "how we met" stories would be #metoo stories, if parties had different view about each other. Alas, sometimes a difference between creepy and cute depends solely if the guy is attractive or not.
- jacalata 9y agoIt is certainly possible to meet women in a way that is unambiguously not creepy, and you could always aim for that if you have trouble with where the line is.
- rimliu 9y ago> in a way that is unambiguously not creepy Alas, no. When even simply looking (and I mean it, looking, not staring) can be classified as creepy you cannot be sure any more.
- Frondo 9y agoIt's not, and that's a bullshit response. No woman is saying "a man glanced at me and I felt harassed". They're asking not to be groped, not to have kisses forced on them, not to be raped. This "simply looking" comment is fucking garbage, and you need to readjust your perspective and attitudes.
- fgjjgutjvnu 9y agoReally? I am not personally acquainted with any rapists or creeps (not knowingly, anyway). Why would anyone be? Intervening all the time whenever somebody says something silly to a woman could also be very patronizing. Exactly the thing feminists then claim they don't want, because it makes the assumption women are weak and unable to speak for themselves. As for this current "men could do more" meme: lets compare it to theft. I think theft is more common than sexual assault. Could men to more to prevent theft? Does every man know somebody who is a thief and lets it slide? I don't think so. Likewise, the idea that most men stand by why their fellows abuse is nonsense.
- exclusiv 9y agoI agree but I'll take it a step further. My nephew was telling a story about how he and his friend made fun of a classmate, calling him Pinocchio. My nephew expected me to laugh but I didn't and told him that it wasn't cool and that he should protect those being bullied. It's really easy to laugh when kids are laughing but we must take notice and act on these things because they learn bad habits early.
- gist 9y ago> that he should protect those being bullied Do you think he should do that even if at personal harm to himself (physical or otherwise but mainly physical)?
- scott_karana 9y agoProbably. Particularly if the harm to himself is smaller than the harm already inflicted to the other person (which is likely), or if the good his actions will cause exceeds either.
- exclusiv 9y agoYes esp. since many times there's little to no risk since it's standing up to friends.
- jochung 9y agoWhy is it up to men? Why not just people? Oh right, because women are fragile and incapable of agency, I keep forgetting that's what's progressive nowadays.