25 ms·

I’m 35 and I may suddenly have lost the rest of my life

354 points by fhrow4484 9y ago

deleted 9y ago
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maxerickson 9y ago
Any amount of unexplained rectal bleeding is reason enough to schedule an appointment with a doctor. The doctor is likely to recommend a colonoscopy. Removal of polyps (a likely source of bleeding) reduces the chances of cancer developing and can only be done during a colonoscopy.
- damnfine 9y ago
  Agreed. First thing I thought when I read that. To anyone reading, there is no OK amount of bleeding there, excepting some aggressive tp, and even that can lead to issues. If you have this issue, it is not likely cancer, but many of the causes are deadly if not addressed. Please see a doc.
  - ada1981 9y ago
    Fuck. For what seems like years I occasionally have some bright red blood on the TP and occasionally the toilet is red. I don't know why I never thought to go to a doctor. I figured it was from hemorrhoids or something. Generally though, I don't get sick, unless of course I have been and just ignored it. The last several years I was working to develop a workable "cure" for bipolar (Which it seems I have, but which took a lot of research time and emotional energy.) Perhaps I ignored these things because I couldn't stand the idea of something more. If there is anything the journey to healing from so called "Bipolar" taught me it was that I have a robust nervous system and can look this stuff head on if I have to. I'll go get checked out this week if not tomorrow. Thanks for posting this. Oh, also. I have a friend who recovered from multiple bouts of cancer by eventually for going western medicine and doing vegan diet and reversed everything. I'd also suggest looking into some sort of psychedelic therapy, perhaps ayahuasca -- the emotional system is the immune system and it really wouldn't hurt. Also, may help with the psychological experience you are having now. Grateful that you are here and reporting back from the front lines.
    - gt2 9y ago
      Can you comment more about the cure for bipolar disorder?
      - ada1981 9y ago
        I began writing up a reply for you, but realized the comments might get turned off before I have a chance to post it. You can email me anthony@175g.com if you like. I will post here too when it's ready.
- Bowelthrowaway 9y ago
  Had forgotten about two experiences I had in roughly three months ago. Stiffer feces lead to "tight squeeze" and then bleeding to the point of dripping in the toilet. True red blood. This happened twice within a week, feeling around in shower discovered pain on surface of recturm. I was eating terribly at the time. It went away and I went on with life. Reading this today is a billboard reminder to get colonoscopy and clear myself ASAP.
  - zoom6628 9y ago
    Many experiences of that. The chinese TCM call that 热气 ("heatiness"). Excess of fried food, toasted stuff etc likely to cause it. BUT...General message to everyone....anything that seems not normal, and persist more than a few days.... GO SEE A DOCTOR. What is the cost of a visit vs the value of your life? In any case go visit every year to get a checkout if you can afford so. Its a duty to those your care for and to those you care about.
    - Bowelthrowaway 9y ago
      Thank you for chiming in.
- soft_serve 9y ago
  True, but the most likely cause is hemorrhoids! Still, this should never, ever, be ignored.
- koolba 9y ago
  I'm almost ashamed to ask but what's "explained rectal bleeding"? An unusually large/solid movement causing direct damage?
  - jacalata 9y ago
    It's possible to swallow something indigestible that then comes out in poop - sometimes this could cause bleeding. If you have anything inserted in your anus for any reason this could also cause bleeding.
  - dbenhur 9y ago
    If someone stabbed you in the rectum, the bleeding is explained. You should still probably get it looked at.
  - maxerickson 9y ago
    Say someone recently had a colonoscopy and the doctor told them they had hemorrhoids.
- dom96 9y ago
  I was incredibly surprised how the author dismissed this symptom. Maybe I am just paranoid but if something like that happened to me I would go to the doctor's immediately.
- 55555 9y ago
  Bright red blood is generally not a big problem as it just means hemorrhoids or a cut on the anus. If you EVER see DARK RED blood you should go get a colonoscopy immediately. There is no good reason for that to ever happen.
- greedo 9y ago
  I had rectal bleeding similar to the OP. My GP dismissed this as probably just a hemorrhoid, and due to my age at the time (42) didn't refer me to a gastroenterologist. Almost cost me my life. A year later, the symptoms persisted and he finally made the referral. The gastro doc knew instantly upon exam that I was in serious trouble. A scope turned up a 5cm tumor that required a full resection. Luckily I survived to write this post; 12 years that have been a blessing. To anyone with rectal bleeding of any type, see your GP and ask for a referral to a specialist, regardless of age!
rcarrigan87 9y ago
My brother was diagnosed with a rare form of sarcoma (cancer) at age 35. Basically was given about a 10% to live. 180 servings of chemo/radiation later we started lining up hospice and he prepared to say goodbye to his 2 young kids and wife. Last ditch effort was an experimental drug. Out of 150 people in the trial, he's the only one alive 12 years later. 6 years ago he started a company that is about to hit 8 figures in revenue and over 300 employees. Life can definitely have a lot of swings.
- Xeoncross 9y ago
  > Last ditch effort was an experimental drug... he's the only one alive I assume it wasn't the drug then but some other factor that was either missed or underestimated in his actual recovery. Wish more of these missing-pieces were known.
  - andrewem 9y ago
    It's entirely possible that it was the drug, but there was some factor that led his tumor to be susceptible to it, most likely a DNA mutation in the tumor. That's what "personalized medicine" or "precision medicine" is all about for cancer.
  - koonsolo 9y ago
    I might get downvoted for this, so please do your own research first before just dismissing it. There is this cheap thing of Vitamin C injections staight into the blood. A cure that has been "well known" for centuries, but dismissed because oral intake studies weren't promising. I love science, but in studies where a lot of money is made or can be lost, there is so much manipulation going on it makes you sick. I'm talking about pharmacy and food industry here. Loads of money are made with chemo and cancer research. If Vitamin C injections really are better way to treat cancer, can you imagine how many billions will be lost?
    - davymac 9y ago
      Let me be your quack susceptibilibuddy: http://www.quackwatch.org http://www.quackwatch.org The "Vitamin C cure" has been soundly debunked.
deleted 9y ago
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jacquesm 9y ago
That's so terribly sad. That highlit bit should be tattooed on everybody's forehead at birth so you see it every day. Lots of wisdom in there.
theklub 9y ago
I'm sorry, I hope you get through it.
sp821543 9y ago
Scott, I'm sorry about this. Why isn't the medical community looking for early warnings? relatively cheap tests for hs-crp, IL-6, TNF-alpha could be helpful. Inflammation is the precursor to disease. Do yourselves a favor & ask your doctor for the hs-crp test to measure inflammation.
- refurb 9y ago
  What makes you think scientists aren't doing that type of research?
- stordoff 9y ago
  OTHT, testing without reason will give you a lot of false positives that then have to be dealt with. It's a difficult thing to balance.
  - kerbalspacepro 9y ago
    I feel like the cost of a false positive in medicine is lower than the cost of a false negative.
    - jetti 9y ago
      That entirely depends on the condition being tested and how many other ways there are available to test for that condition.
    - stordoff 9y ago
      That entirely depends on, e.g., the false positive rate and the specificity of the test. Couple of quick examples of the top of my head: * A false positive for a terminal condition or cancer may have a poor effect on the patient's mental well-being AND make them less likely to submit to testing in the future (see e.g. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23540978 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23540978 - "We conclude that the experience of having a false-positive screening mammogram can cause breast cancer-specific psychological distress that may endure for up to 3 years, and reduce the likelihood that women will return for their next round of mammography screening."). Depending on your false positive rate, that may result in worse outcomes overall. * I had an MRI on my head a few years ago, and a _very_ small growth (<2mm IIRC, small enough that some future scans weren't even certain it was there) was identified. Everyone involved is certain that it is an irrelevant finding, but I'm now stuck with yearly MRIs - both a cost to the NHS and a nightmare for me (it sets off an anxiety disorder). * Parent suggests getting a hsCRP test. Whilst potentially useful, it's also non-specific - it'll be raised by pretty much any recent illness/injury/general inflammation, and will always be raised if, e.g., you have arthritis. You would likely need further testing to determine the cause (not necessarily free of risk/cost), and your false positive rate is likely to be higher if you are testing without other reasons to suspect it will be useful. That's not to say all preemptive tests are a bad idea -- that's clearly not the case -- but as I initially said, it's a balancing act. Blindly added more early testing will not necessarily improve patient outcomes overall; they may in fact have a detrimental effect.
dvt 9y ago
My grandmother had breast cancer about a decade ago and it was grueling for the whole family. She went into remission after aggressive chemo, but I pray every day no one else in my family will be afflicted with this terrible disease and that the hard working scientists and researchers out there will soon find a cure. This puts my own trivial problems into perspective. I hope you make it. God bless.
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davidreiss 9y ago
My uncle was diagnosed with cancer last july and died 3 months later. Left behind a wife and two kids. The holidays was rather depressing last year. He was an athlete who ran in marathons. Never smoked or drank. But cancer still took him. Such a terrible disease.
Mz 9y ago
PSA for anyone reading this: Colorectal cancer for younger people seems to be on the rise. They don't seem to know why. My father had colon cancer and was not expected to survive it. I think he was 69 when he was finally diagnosed. He had put off seeing a doctor because he thought it was "just old age" and it was quite advanced by the time he was diagnosed. He did survive it and died, iirc, just short of his 89th or 90th birthday. A lot of my relatives have had cancer, some of them more than once. Few of them have died from it. So, I tend to be biased in assuming that it can be conquered, even when the doctors say the odds are long against. I know I have seen quotes on HN about how the odds are long against startups and other things, but how you can work to overcome those odds. I think it is a bit like that. Good luck in your journey. Best wishes on your outcome.
- deleted 9y ago
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- soft_serve 9y ago
  Oh we know why! It's just not acceptable to talk about it: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3311490/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3311490/ Asking people to take responsibility for this one simple thing is taboo. (I have a Colonoscopy just last week as part of a routine exam at my age. The procedure really isn't that bad. A couple hours on the toilet during the prep, and that's about the worst of it).
  - Mz 9y ago
    Obesity is merely one factor. I have read a number of articles on this and even written at least one (I get paid to ghost write health articles). My understanding is, no, they don't really know why. Furthermore, how to not be obese is not really a solved problem. Suggesting that fat people are merely irresponsible is pretty lousy. Most fat people have tried to lose the weight. Some have tried incredibly hard and done rather crazy-sounding things, to no avail. We don't really understand that problem space either. Some people are able to lose the weight and keep it off. Others fail and fail and fail while trying like hell.
Raed667 9y ago
I'm sorry about this, really hope you will get through it. But this gets me thinking about a couple of bleedings I had a few months ago and totally dismissed. I will definitively see a doctor soon.
faragon 9y ago
Don't surrender, Scott.
lgessler 9y ago
With much sensitivity to the physical and emotional turmoil the author must be experiencing right now, I disagree with his advice: > Stop just assuming you have a full lifetime to do whatever it is you dream of doing. Rare and catastrophic events like this that can severely shorten your life are ones you should not plan for. If they occur, that's very unfortunate, and maybe you'll still have a contingency plan that can rearrange your plans to fit the remainder of your life, but he was still right to have arranged his life from the start to maximize his expected (in the statistical sense) impact: > Before this diagnosis I’d been thinking of my 1st 35 years — aside from being a ton of fun and travel — as preparation. I felt like I was building a platform (savings, networks, skills, experience) that I could then use in my second act to make a real contribution, to “make my mark” "Most of the time", he would have been right to use the early part of his life to make long-term investments in his development. It's just that this time it turned out to be the wrong choice.
- aaron-lebo 9y ago
  Your odds of being the 0.00001% are very low, but someone has to be it. He's just saying recognize that. Recognize that all your hopes, dreams, fears, assumptions, etc. can literally be gone in an instant and live accordingly. I know it sounds ridiculously cliched, and of course you never think it will happen to you, but let me assure you that life really can be taken from you at any time, so live it with that reality in mind.
  - setr 9y ago
    Right; the problem being with a rate that low is that there really isn't much to do about it, unless you pretend its much more likely than it actually is. Living accordingly, given all other potential for error in your life that actually is likely to occur, is really to change nothing at all.
  - copperx 9y ago
    About 1 in 3 persons develop cancer in their lives. I don't know where you get the 0.000001 from.
luckydude 9y ago
Do your research. I'm not an expert, not even close, but a buddy of mine pushed his wife's curve way, way out. Maybe you can too. She has stage 4 lung cancer, it's spread to her brain. If she gone to Stanford, like she wanted, they would have done whole brain radiation to try and blast the brain tumors. The problem with brain tumors is that there is that barrier that keeps bad stuff out of the brain and it only lets small stuff through, chemo tends to be large. My buddy started researching and asking questions (he's business/sales but I think he's an engineer). The 5 year survival rate is less than 1% for stage 4 lung cancer. So he started asking doctors and hospitals "what's your 5 year survival rate". Everyone pointed him to national stats and he said "no, I know those numbers, what are yours?". El Camino Hospital publishes their numbers because they are much, much better: 15%. I know, 15% isn't great but it is a boat load better than under 1%. So they went there. El Camino has a different approach to this sort of situation, they use some chemo (avastin maybe?) that is small celled and gets through the brain barrier. They also did pin point radiation. The results: it's 2 years out, I think 2 years and 1 month, and my buddy's wife isn't fine but she's damn close. She's on an every 3 week chemo cycle, she typically gets 11 good days and 10 crappy-bad days. They both retired (I still pay his health insurance which is a big deal) and bought a travel trailer, do 2-5 days trips up and down California. They are fully aware that they are trying to cram all of their retirement into a few years and so far are doing a great job, their doctor loves it (apparently a lot of cancer patients sit on their butt, just waiting for the next chemo session). If she had gone to Stanford, while the radiation would have likely wiped out the tumors, it also has this little side effect called dementia, happens very quickly. So this outcome is much, much better and it only happened because my buddy did his homework. And one sort of cool thing happened: this all started before my company imploded and I gathered the team and said "I want to send Bob on vacation. We've only got so much runway left so if you don't want to use some of that money on Bob, I get it, I won't judge, I'll pay for the vacation myself." It was unanimous, they wanted the vacation to be from the team (I was so proud of them, that's the team I wanted). So we sent them back east to see the fall colors, they had a great time. It's worth stating that I've watched my mother-in-law and my father die of cancer (and while my love for my dad is pretty obvious, I loved my mother-in-law as well, we got along great). The thing that I've learned is the second you know you have something that is life threatening do whatever you want to do RIGHT NOW. I pushed for the vacation thing for Bob because my mother-in-law didn't want to have friends over "until she was better". I deeply regret not just arranging to have all her friends come in. She died pretty quickly. So I don't want to be morbid, or show any lack of hope, but there is the possibility that OP is in the best shape he's gonna be. So use that time to have some fun, build some memories, whatever you think is good. If you kick cancer's ass you'll have some memories to look back on, if you don't, your family will have some to hold onto. Do not listen to the doctors, they tend to be overly hopeful and give you a false sense of hope (I get it, it's kind of all they can do, but we would have liked a more realistic view. They let my mother-in-law think she was going back to work). Good luck, cancer sucks. Edit: explain that lots of patients don't live between chemo sessions and a typo.
imaginenore 9y ago
Lie, cheat, and steal if you have to. I'd bribe medical staff just to get the best experimental treatments if you can't get there via legal means.
- contingencies 9y ago
  Often you can get your hands on the medical supply chain easier in other countries, eg. China / Thailand. I've seen hospital employees create fake patients to dole out medicine on the sly.
tarr11 9y ago
Colonoscopy was a pretty fast and painless experience for me. The prep drink I had to take the day before was the worst part. Being worried is definitely not a reason to put it off!
- michaeldorian 9y ago
  Did you ask to have a colonoscopy done? I had some bleeding but my doctor seems to just dismiss it as standard eat more fiber Hemorrhoids etc.
  - PhantomGremlin 9y ago
    Everything I've read says that all bleeding should be checked out. Even if you're not willing/able to get a colonoscopy, it's easy for a specialist to check for hemorrhoids. If the hemorrhoids are internal (not all are) they use a little fiberscope that only needs to go in for an inch or so. It takes a minute to do at the office. I wound up having some internal hemorrhoids surgically repaired. Not a big deal at all. The bad news is that the prep for that surgery is pretty much the same as the prep for a colonoscopy. IIRC (it's been over 10 years) I think the doctor first did a colonoscopy and then repaired the hemorrhoids, all in the same operation. Sheesh, the things we type on HN. Without a throwaway even.
ringaroundthetx 9y ago
> Don't assume you have a lifetime to pursue your dreams. But will this change our perception of people in their 20s-30s that do pursue their dreams and are behind in their careers and finances? At what point is a quarter/mid-life crisis not just an acceptable adult YOLO? The author has some initial regrets on building up their savings and network, and I wonder if additional perspectives will be made by me posting this
spraak 9y ago
It's never too late to turn to the Dharma. I lost a child recently and the only hope I can find out of it has been to study what the Buddha taught. > if we start thinking about impermanence now, while we still have time to find skillful means to deal with it, then later we will not be caught unaware. Even though in the short term the contemplation of death and impermanence might cause discomfort, in the long term it will actually save us from greater suffering. [1] 1. http://rinpoche.com/teachings/sevenpoints.htm http://rinpoche.com/teachings/sevenpoints.htm
- dodododo 9y ago
  This seems so predatory. Instead of proselytizing, why not just hold off and try to understand what this person is going through? Practicing your own human empathy on human terms is far more important than whatever list of teachings you might find out there.
  - mythrwy 9y ago
    That's one way to look at it. A more charitable view is perhaps they found something that helped and wanted to pass it along.
  - spraak 9y ago
    Firstly I'm really sorry you felt I was being pushy. I don't feel I have anything to gain from what I shared, which is how I interpret proselytizing: my child died. Six weeks ago. So yeah, I'm on a lot of pain, and reading these texts are what have helped me through weeks of tears. Maybe it's inappropriate for me to share that so casually here, but I truly hoped it may help someone else going through death, or being around it. And you're right, I can continue to practice empathy. And for me, these texts point to how to do that... maybe someone else would find it helpful too.
    - MGuznoyzner 9y ago
      From the perspective of this impartial atheist you didn't come off as pushy. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace.
LordHumungous 9y ago
Visited a GP about a year ago due to blood in my stool, and he said it was hemorrhoids, but it hasn't gone away since. Going to schedule another appointment this week thanks to this article.
superobserver 9y ago
Stop eating anything grown in the US or under the domain of corporate farming, anything grown with chemical (Monsanto/Bayer) pesticides, and look for as much communally, organic grown food as you can. Why has IBS exploded in recent decades? Miracle grow for cancer is literally being added to the food supply.
- cylinder 9y ago
  No surprise this has been downvoted. Apparently if you can't get a 50-year study to prove otherwise, we should assume any chemical added to our food is A-OK. Common sense be damned, we have money to make! That's America for you.
  - qntty 9y ago
    Reading this article make me seriously contemplate my own mortality. The last thing you want to do after doing this is get angry at someone. I downvoted because this isn't the time for a discussion like this.
  - superobserver 9y ago
    Just an FYI: Bayer is not an American company. They're also coordinating a buyout of Monsanto.
andreasgonewild 9y ago
I'm sorry to hear that; if you let them in there with their gadgets; they will find a reason to cut, medicate and radiate; that's unfortunately just the way things are. These are not the only options, not even the best options, for patients. Get a second opinion, and a third; preferably from outside of Big Pharma. You might have to make some tough lifestyle choices; like seriously cutting down on meat, alcohol, sugar and stress; but your body has an unlimited potential to heal itself when given the chance. Be well and don't panic; remember, mind over matter; how you feel will affect the outcome more than anything they could come up with.
- brianwawok 9y ago
  Hey i hear the Steve Jobs fruit diet is fantastic. So is taking medical advice from hacker news.
  - fb03 9y ago
    Maybe he could eat only fruit while reading Hacker News Medical Doctors from a reading nook or abode. Mind over matter, bro.
    - andreasgonewild 9y ago
      Can't be that easy, right? Has to involve nasty chemicals, radiation and flesh-cutting if it's going to work. Because, erm, that's what the profiteering psychos running this world are saying. Is that the best you're capable of? Have you actually seen people in cancer "treatment"? What about your brain, what are you using it for instead?
      - fb03 9y ago
        Thank you for this amusing reply. You really believe all this :-)
        andreasgonewild 9y ago
lohankin 9y ago
Had same thing at age 44. Stage 2.5, was given 60% chance. Had chemo and radiation. There's something I can share with you if you write to tatumizer at gmail dot com. I really hope I can help. I'm 60 now, still working as a programmer.
- lohankin 9y ago
  Forgot to mention most important tidbit I learned. Normally, you need to have your first colonoscopy at the age of 50. Mo matter if you have symptoms or not. But for certain ethnic groups, the probability is much higher. Your doctor may, or may not, tell you this (political correctness? Illiteracy? Not sure. In my case, family doctor was in denial even when he saw it), you need to do your own research. Find out where you belong, you may need it at age 30.
cicero 9y ago
I'm praying for you, Scott.
kobeya 9y ago
OP, consider cryonics for the sake of your children -- at least they will have a chance to know you in he future.
zocoi 9y ago
Just out of curiosity, what can an average Joe do to protect his legacy and ensure good outcome for his family? Cancer insurance, any other options?
- PhantomGremlin 9y ago
  Cancer insurance I don't think it's cost effective to buy insurance for individual maladies. If you do, the perhaps logical conclusion is to include coverage against robot attacks: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/old-glory-insurance/n10766?snl=1 http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/old-glory-insur...
zoom6628 9y ago
Best wishes. Be positive. Love your kids and family - the best legacy is what they keep in their hearts.
Viper007Bond 9y ago
Last fall at the age of 32, I was diagnosed with leukemia (ALL). I went from a completely normal life to being in the ER in just a week (thought I just had the flu in between). My life has been completely on hold for the past 10 months while I deal with this and the resulting bone marrow transplant. Thankfully ALL has a very high success rate for treatment and long term survival, but it has certainly made me realize how unpredictable life can be. I was putting things off that I wanted to do with my life and once I finish recovering, I certainly will work to correct that. Don't wait until tomorrow.
RickJWag 9y ago
So sorry to read that. Good luck to the author. I'd love to read a happy follow-up in 10 years.
open_bear 9y ago
See significant change in 'going to toilet' procedure or blood in stool? Go to the doctor! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIHJmvnzwg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIHJmvnzwg
Balgair 9y ago
Allow me to be profane for a moment: FUCK CANCER https://clinicaltrials.gov https://clinicaltrials.gov Start Here, please!
neilwilson 9y ago
Remember that the anecdotes on here serve two purposes. (i) to show that the aggregate does not inform the individual. As a species we are too influenced by aggregate stats. There is huge variation in individual responses. (ii) history is written by the winners. Those people who did not survive cancer are not here to write about it and those surrounding them tend to want to forget and move on. Survivor bias is a real thing. Not only is this story a reminder that life is short, but also that we must battle each day to keep perspective when the world and our human limitations are always trying to skew our views. Given the tensions in the world, seeing things from the other points of view has never been more important.
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aiyodev 9y ago
Every time I read a story like this it makes me angry that $700 million were wasted on Theranos instead of being invested in cancer research. Why isn't Elizabeth Holmes in prison yet?
sAbakumoff 9y ago
why did it bring so much attention? Some guy has been diagnosed with cancer, that happens every day.
- EADGBE 9y ago
  I'm not sure you'd understand. The first time you realize your mortality, it can really throw perspective at you. Much more of a slap in the face than whatever hottest trending framework happens to be on Front Page HN.
  - sAbakumoff 9y ago
    Well, 1 month ago I hit a car on my bike[0] and was close to meet full consequences of it. Less experienced cyclist would be seriously injured or dead, I believe. Though it was kind of a slap in the face, I don't feel that I need to change anything. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUY7psClcbQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUY7psClcbQ
asldfkweiorz 9y ago
Good luck with that. Shit happens; my wife was stabbed on the way back home at 29 and has been in a coma and now vegetative state since. If someone has a good way to deal with this crap, please do let me know.
- cpete 9y ago
  Really sorry to read that. Hope things improve for you. My wife attempted suicide a few times last year. Thankfully things have stabilized since, but I had been contingency planning for life afterwards just to stay sane. I don't think there's a good way to deal with the crap...
rockit 9y ago
It took a case of endocarditis, a 30% chance of survival, two heart valves being replaced, a pacemaker installed, and another brush with death during the 6 month recovery, all at age 24, to wake me up. Ever since then, one thing I've really wanted, with all of my heart, is for people to wake up - see that this is not forever and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Listen to me, listen to the author - please, do what you need to do to enable yourself to pursue the dreams you really have, stop "just getting by".
_rockit_ 9y ago
It took a case of endocarditis, a 30% chance of survival, two heart valves being replaced, a pacemaker installed, and another brush with death during the 6 month recovery, all at age 24, to wake me up. Ever since then, one thing I've really wanted, with all of my heart, is for people to wake up - see that this is not forever and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Listen to me, listen to the author - please, do what you need to do to enable yourself to pursue the dreams you really have, stop "just getting by".
deleted 9y ago
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lhuser123 9y ago
Life is a strange thing. One day you can have everything and the next nothing. Then, answers are never enough. And you're left with the option to do the best with what you still have.
pcunite 9y ago
Make yourself ready, before you die. http://youarehere.place http://youarehere.place

354 points by fhrow4484 9y ago

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

Any amount of unexplained rectal bleeding is reason enough to schedule an appointment with a doctor. The doctor is likely to recommend a colonoscopy. Removal of polyps (a likely source of bleeding) reduces the chances of cancer developing and can only be done during a colonoscopy.

damnfine 9y ago
Agreed. First thing I thought when I read that. To anyone reading, there is no OK amount of bleeding there, excepting some aggressive tp, and even that can lead to issues. If you have this issue, it is not likely cancer, but many of the causes are deadly if not addressed. Please see a doc.
- ada1981 9y ago
  Fuck. For what seems like years I occasionally have some bright red blood on the TP and occasionally the toilet is red. I don't know why I never thought to go to a doctor. I figured it was from hemorrhoids or something. Generally though, I don't get sick, unless of course I have been and just ignored it. The last several years I was working to develop a workable "cure" for bipolar (Which it seems I have, but which took a lot of research time and emotional energy.) Perhaps I ignored these things because I couldn't stand the idea of something more. If there is anything the journey to healing from so called "Bipolar" taught me it was that I have a robust nervous system and can look this stuff head on if I have to. I'll go get checked out this week if not tomorrow. Thanks for posting this. Oh, also. I have a friend who recovered from multiple bouts of cancer by eventually for going western medicine and doing vegan diet and reversed everything. I'd also suggest looking into some sort of psychedelic therapy, perhaps ayahuasca -- the emotional system is the immune system and it really wouldn't hurt. Also, may help with the psychological experience you are having now. Grateful that you are here and reporting back from the front lines.
  - gt2 9y ago
    Can you comment more about the cure for bipolar disorder?
    - ada1981 9y ago
      I began writing up a reply for you, but realized the comments might get turned off before I have a chance to post it. You can email me anthony@175g.com if you like. I will post here too when it's ready.
Bowelthrowaway 9y ago
Had forgotten about two experiences I had in roughly three months ago. Stiffer feces lead to "tight squeeze" and then bleeding to the point of dripping in the toilet. True red blood. This happened twice within a week, feeling around in shower discovered pain on surface of recturm. I was eating terribly at the time. It went away and I went on with life. Reading this today is a billboard reminder to get colonoscopy and clear myself ASAP.
- zoom6628 9y ago
  Many experiences of that. The chinese TCM call that 热气 ("heatiness"). Excess of fried food, toasted stuff etc likely to cause it. BUT...General message to everyone....anything that seems not normal, and persist more than a few days.... GO SEE A DOCTOR. What is the cost of a visit vs the value of your life? In any case go visit every year to get a checkout if you can afford so. Its a duty to those your care for and to those you care about.
  - Bowelthrowaway 9y ago
    Thank you for chiming in.
soft_serve 9y ago
True, but the most likely cause is hemorrhoids! Still, this should never, ever, be ignored.
koolba 9y ago
I'm almost ashamed to ask but what's "explained rectal bleeding"? An unusually large/solid movement causing direct damage?
- jacalata 9y ago
  It's possible to swallow something indigestible that then comes out in poop - sometimes this could cause bleeding. If you have anything inserted in your anus for any reason this could also cause bleeding.
- dbenhur 9y ago
  If someone stabbed you in the rectum, the bleeding is explained. You should still probably get it looked at.
- maxerickson 9y ago
  Say someone recently had a colonoscopy and the doctor told them they had hemorrhoids.
dom96 9y ago
I was incredibly surprised how the author dismissed this symptom. Maybe I am just paranoid but if something like that happened to me I would go to the doctor's immediately.
55555 9y ago
Bright red blood is generally not a big problem as it just means hemorrhoids or a cut on the anus. If you EVER see DARK RED blood you should go get a colonoscopy immediately. There is no good reason for that to ever happen.
greedo 9y ago
I had rectal bleeding similar to the OP. My GP dismissed this as probably just a hemorrhoid, and due to my age at the time (42) didn't refer me to a gastroenterologist. Almost cost me my life. A year later, the symptoms persisted and he finally made the referral. The gastro doc knew instantly upon exam that I was in serious trouble. A scope turned up a 5cm tumor that required a full resection. Luckily I survived to write this post; 12 years that have been a blessing. To anyone with rectal bleeding of any type, see your GP and ask for a referral to a specialist, regardless of age!

rcarrigan87 9y ago

My brother was diagnosed with a rare form of sarcoma (cancer) at age 35. Basically was given about a 10% to live. 180 servings of chemo/radiation later we started lining up hospice and he prepared to say goodbye to his 2 young kids and wife. Last ditch effort was an experimental drug. Out of 150 people in the trial, he's the only one alive 12 years later. 6 years ago he started a company that is about to hit 8 figures in revenue and over 300 employees. Life can definitely have a lot of swings.

Xeoncross 9y ago
> Last ditch effort was an experimental drug... he's the only one alive I assume it wasn't the drug then but some other factor that was either missed or underestimated in his actual recovery. Wish more of these missing-pieces were known.
- andrewem 9y ago
  It's entirely possible that it was the drug, but there was some factor that led his tumor to be susceptible to it, most likely a DNA mutation in the tumor. That's what "personalized medicine" or "precision medicine" is all about for cancer.
- koonsolo 9y ago
  I might get downvoted for this, so please do your own research first before just dismissing it. There is this cheap thing of Vitamin C injections staight into the blood. A cure that has been "well known" for centuries, but dismissed because oral intake studies weren't promising. I love science, but in studies where a lot of money is made or can be lost, there is so much manipulation going on it makes you sick. I'm talking about pharmacy and food industry here. Loads of money are made with chemo and cancer research. If Vitamin C injections really are better way to treat cancer, can you imagine how many billions will be lost?
  - davymac 9y ago
    Let me be your quack susceptibilibuddy: http://www.quackwatch.org http://www.quackwatch.org The "Vitamin C cure" has been soundly debunked.

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jacquesm 9y ago

That's so terribly sad. That highlit bit should be tattooed on everybody's forehead at birth so you see it every day. Lots of wisdom in there.

theklub 9y ago

I'm sorry, I hope you get through it.

sp821543 9y ago

Scott, I'm sorry about this. Why isn't the medical community looking for early warnings? relatively cheap tests for hs-crp, IL-6, TNF-alpha could be helpful. Inflammation is the precursor to disease. Do yourselves a favor & ask your doctor for the hs-crp test to measure inflammation.

refurb 9y ago
What makes you think scientists aren't doing that type of research?
stordoff 9y ago
OTHT, testing without reason will give you a lot of false positives that then have to be dealt with. It's a difficult thing to balance.
- kerbalspacepro 9y ago
  I feel like the cost of a false positive in medicine is lower than the cost of a false negative.
  - jetti 9y ago
    That entirely depends on the condition being tested and how many other ways there are available to test for that condition.
  - stordoff 9y ago
    That entirely depends on, e.g., the false positive rate and the specificity of the test. Couple of quick examples of the top of my head: * A false positive for a terminal condition or cancer may have a poor effect on the patient's mental well-being AND make them less likely to submit to testing in the future (see e.g. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23540978 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23540978 - "We conclude that the experience of having a false-positive screening mammogram can cause breast cancer-specific psychological distress that may endure for up to 3 years, and reduce the likelihood that women will return for their next round of mammography screening."). Depending on your false positive rate, that may result in worse outcomes overall. * I had an MRI on my head a few years ago, and a _very_ small growth (<2mm IIRC, small enough that some future scans weren't even certain it was there) was identified. Everyone involved is certain that it is an irrelevant finding, but I'm now stuck with yearly MRIs - both a cost to the NHS and a nightmare for me (it sets off an anxiety disorder). * Parent suggests getting a hsCRP test. Whilst potentially useful, it's also non-specific - it'll be raised by pretty much any recent illness/injury/general inflammation, and will always be raised if, e.g., you have arthritis. You would likely need further testing to determine the cause (not necessarily free of risk/cost), and your false positive rate is likely to be higher if you are testing without other reasons to suspect it will be useful. That's not to say all preemptive tests are a bad idea -- that's clearly not the case -- but as I initially said, it's a balancing act. Blindly added more early testing will not necessarily improve patient outcomes overall; they may in fact have a detrimental effect.

dvt 9y ago

My grandmother had breast cancer about a decade ago and it was grueling for the whole family. She went into remission after aggressive chemo, but I pray every day no one else in my family will be afflicted with this terrible disease and that the hard working scientists and researchers out there will soon find a cure. This puts my own trivial problems into perspective. I hope you make it. God bless.

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davidreiss 9y ago

My uncle was diagnosed with cancer last july and died 3 months later. Left behind a wife and two kids. The holidays was rather depressing last year. He was an athlete who ran in marathons. Never smoked or drank. But cancer still took him. Such a terrible disease.

Mz 9y ago

PSA for anyone reading this: Colorectal cancer for younger people seems to be on the rise. They don't seem to know why. My father had colon cancer and was not expected to survive it. I think he was 69 when he was finally diagnosed. He had put off seeing a doctor because he thought it was "just old age" and it was quite advanced by the time he was diagnosed. He did survive it and died, iirc, just short of his 89th or 90th birthday. A lot of my relatives have had cancer, some of them more than once. Few of them have died from it. So, I tend to be biased in assuming that it can be conquered, even when the doctors say the odds are long against. I know I have seen quotes on HN about how the odds are long against startups and other things, but how you can work to overcome those odds. I think it is a bit like that. Good luck in your journey. Best wishes on your outcome.

deleted 9y ago
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soft_serve 9y ago
Oh we know why! It's just not acceptable to talk about it: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3311490/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3311490/ Asking people to take responsibility for this one simple thing is taboo. (I have a Colonoscopy just last week as part of a routine exam at my age. The procedure really isn't that bad. A couple hours on the toilet during the prep, and that's about the worst of it).
- Mz 9y ago
  Obesity is merely one factor. I have read a number of articles on this and even written at least one (I get paid to ghost write health articles). My understanding is, no, they don't really know why. Furthermore, how to not be obese is not really a solved problem. Suggesting that fat people are merely irresponsible is pretty lousy. Most fat people have tried to lose the weight. Some have tried incredibly hard and done rather crazy-sounding things, to no avail. We don't really understand that problem space either. Some people are able to lose the weight and keep it off. Others fail and fail and fail while trying like hell.

Raed667 9y ago

I'm sorry about this, really hope you will get through it. But this gets me thinking about a couple of bleedings I had a few months ago and totally dismissed. I will definitively see a doctor soon.

faragon 9y ago

Don't surrender, Scott.

lgessler 9y ago

With much sensitivity to the physical and emotional turmoil the author must be experiencing right now, I disagree with his advice: > Stop just assuming you have a full lifetime to do whatever it is you dream of doing. Rare and catastrophic events like this that can severely shorten your life are ones you should not plan for. If they occur, that's very unfortunate, and maybe you'll still have a contingency plan that can rearrange your plans to fit the remainder of your life, but he was still right to have arranged his life from the start to maximize his expected (in the statistical sense) impact: > Before this diagnosis I’d been thinking of my 1st 35 years — aside from being a ton of fun and travel — as preparation. I felt like I was building a platform (savings, networks, skills, experience) that I could then use in my second act to make a real contribution, to “make my mark” "Most of the time", he would have been right to use the early part of his life to make long-term investments in his development. It's just that this time it turned out to be the wrong choice.

aaron-lebo 9y ago
Your odds of being the 0.00001% are very low, but someone has to be it. He's just saying recognize that. Recognize that all your hopes, dreams, fears, assumptions, etc. can literally be gone in an instant and live accordingly. I know it sounds ridiculously cliched, and of course you never think it will happen to you, but let me assure you that life really can be taken from you at any time, so live it with that reality in mind.
- setr 9y ago
  Right; the problem being with a rate that low is that there really isn't much to do about it, unless you pretend its much more likely than it actually is. Living accordingly, given all other potential for error in your life that actually is likely to occur, is really to change nothing at all.
- copperx 9y ago
  About 1 in 3 persons develop cancer in their lives. I don't know where you get the 0.000001 from.

luckydude 9y ago

Do your research. I'm not an expert, not even close, but a buddy of mine pushed his wife's curve way, way out. Maybe you can too. She has stage 4 lung cancer, it's spread to her brain. If she gone to Stanford, like she wanted, they would have done whole brain radiation to try and blast the brain tumors. The problem with brain tumors is that there is that barrier that keeps bad stuff out of the brain and it only lets small stuff through, chemo tends to be large. My buddy started researching and asking questions (he's business/sales but I think he's an engineer). The 5 year survival rate is less than 1% for stage 4 lung cancer. So he started asking doctors and hospitals "what's your 5 year survival rate". Everyone pointed him to national stats and he said "no, I know those numbers, what are yours?". El Camino Hospital publishes their numbers because they are much, much better: 15%. I know, 15% isn't great but it is a boat load better than under 1%. So they went there. El Camino has a different approach to this sort of situation, they use some chemo (avastin maybe?) that is small celled and gets through the brain barrier. They also did pin point radiation. The results: it's 2 years out, I think 2 years and 1 month, and my buddy's wife isn't fine but she's damn close. She's on an every 3 week chemo cycle, she typically gets 11 good days and 10 crappy-bad days. They both retired (I still pay his health insurance which is a big deal) and bought a travel trailer, do 2-5 days trips up and down California. They are fully aware that they are trying to cram all of their retirement into a few years and so far are doing a great job, their doctor loves it (apparently a lot of cancer patients sit on their butt, just waiting for the next chemo session). If she had gone to Stanford, while the radiation would have likely wiped out the tumors, it also has this little side effect called dementia, happens very quickly. So this outcome is much, much better and it only happened because my buddy did his homework. And one sort of cool thing happened: this all started before my company imploded and I gathered the team and said "I want to send Bob on vacation. We've only got so much runway left so if you don't want to use some of that money on Bob, I get it, I won't judge, I'll pay for the vacation myself." It was unanimous, they wanted the vacation to be from the team (I was so proud of them, that's the team I wanted). So we sent them back east to see the fall colors, they had a great time. It's worth stating that I've watched my mother-in-law and my father die of cancer (and while my love for my dad is pretty obvious, I loved my mother-in-law as well, we got along great). The thing that I've learned is the second you know you have something that is life threatening do whatever you want to do RIGHT NOW. I pushed for the vacation thing for Bob because my mother-in-law didn't want to have friends over "until she was better". I deeply regret not just arranging to have all her friends come in. She died pretty quickly. So I don't want to be morbid, or show any lack of hope, but there is the possibility that OP is in the best shape he's gonna be. So use that time to have some fun, build some memories, whatever you think is good. If you kick cancer's ass you'll have some memories to look back on, if you don't, your family will have some to hold onto. Do not listen to the doctors, they tend to be overly hopeful and give you a false sense of hope (I get it, it's kind of all they can do, but we would have liked a more realistic view. They let my mother-in-law think she was going back to work). Good luck, cancer sucks. Edit: explain that lots of patients don't live between chemo sessions and a typo.

imaginenore 9y ago

Lie, cheat, and steal if you have to. I'd bribe medical staff just to get the best experimental treatments if you can't get there via legal means.

contingencies 9y ago
Often you can get your hands on the medical supply chain easier in other countries, eg. China / Thailand. I've seen hospital employees create fake patients to dole out medicine on the sly.

tarr11 9y ago

Colonoscopy was a pretty fast and painless experience for me. The prep drink I had to take the day before was the worst part. Being worried is definitely not a reason to put it off!

michaeldorian 9y ago
Did you ask to have a colonoscopy done? I had some bleeding but my doctor seems to just dismiss it as standard eat more fiber Hemorrhoids etc.
- PhantomGremlin 9y ago
  Everything I've read says that all bleeding should be checked out. Even if you're not willing/able to get a colonoscopy, it's easy for a specialist to check for hemorrhoids. If the hemorrhoids are internal (not all are) they use a little fiberscope that only needs to go in for an inch or so. It takes a minute to do at the office. I wound up having some internal hemorrhoids surgically repaired. Not a big deal at all. The bad news is that the prep for that surgery is pretty much the same as the prep for a colonoscopy. IIRC (it's been over 10 years) I think the doctor first did a colonoscopy and then repaired the hemorrhoids, all in the same operation. Sheesh, the things we type on HN. Without a throwaway even.

ringaroundthetx 9y ago

> Don't assume you have a lifetime to pursue your dreams. But will this change our perception of people in their 20s-30s that do pursue their dreams and are behind in their careers and finances? At what point is a quarter/mid-life crisis not just an acceptable adult YOLO? The author has some initial regrets on building up their savings and network, and I wonder if additional perspectives will be made by me posting this

spraak 9y ago

It's never too late to turn to the Dharma. I lost a child recently and the only hope I can find out of it has been to study what the Buddha taught. > if we start thinking about impermanence now, while we still have time to find skillful means to deal with it, then later we will not be caught unaware. Even though in the short term the contemplation of death and impermanence might cause discomfort, in the long term it will actually save us from greater suffering. [1] 1. http://rinpoche.com/teachings/sevenpoints.htm http://rinpoche.com/teachings/sevenpoints.htm

dodododo 9y ago
This seems so predatory. Instead of proselytizing, why not just hold off and try to understand what this person is going through? Practicing your own human empathy on human terms is far more important than whatever list of teachings you might find out there.
- mythrwy 9y ago
  That's one way to look at it. A more charitable view is perhaps they found something that helped and wanted to pass it along.
- spraak 9y ago
  Firstly I'm really sorry you felt I was being pushy. I don't feel I have anything to gain from what I shared, which is how I interpret proselytizing: my child died. Six weeks ago. So yeah, I'm on a lot of pain, and reading these texts are what have helped me through weeks of tears. Maybe it's inappropriate for me to share that so casually here, but I truly hoped it may help someone else going through death, or being around it. And you're right, I can continue to practice empathy. And for me, these texts point to how to do that... maybe someone else would find it helpful too.
  - MGuznoyzner 9y ago
    From the perspective of this impartial atheist you didn't come off as pushy. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace.

LordHumungous 9y ago

Visited a GP about a year ago due to blood in my stool, and he said it was hemorrhoids, but it hasn't gone away since. Going to schedule another appointment this week thanks to this article.

superobserver 9y ago

Stop eating anything grown in the US or under the domain of corporate farming, anything grown with chemical (Monsanto/Bayer) pesticides, and look for as much communally, organic grown food as you can. Why has IBS exploded in recent decades? Miracle grow for cancer is literally being added to the food supply.

cylinder 9y ago
No surprise this has been downvoted. Apparently if you can't get a 50-year study to prove otherwise, we should assume any chemical added to our food is A-OK. Common sense be damned, we have money to make! That's America for you.
- qntty 9y ago
  Reading this article make me seriously contemplate my own mortality. The last thing you want to do after doing this is get angry at someone. I downvoted because this isn't the time for a discussion like this.
- superobserver 9y ago
  Just an FYI: Bayer is not an American company. They're also coordinating a buyout of Monsanto.

andreasgonewild 9y ago

I'm sorry to hear that; if you let them in there with their gadgets; they will find a reason to cut, medicate and radiate; that's unfortunately just the way things are. These are not the only options, not even the best options, for patients. Get a second opinion, and a third; preferably from outside of Big Pharma. You might have to make some tough lifestyle choices; like seriously cutting down on meat, alcohol, sugar and stress; but your body has an unlimited potential to heal itself when given the chance. Be well and don't panic; remember, mind over matter; how you feel will affect the outcome more than anything they could come up with.

brianwawok 9y ago
Hey i hear the Steve Jobs fruit diet is fantastic. So is taking medical advice from hacker news.
- fb03 9y ago
  Maybe he could eat only fruit while reading Hacker News Medical Doctors from a reading nook or abode. Mind over matter, bro.
  - andreasgonewild 9y ago
    Can't be that easy, right? Has to involve nasty chemicals, radiation and flesh-cutting if it's going to work. Because, erm, that's what the profiteering psychos running this world are saying. Is that the best you're capable of? Have you actually seen people in cancer "treatment"? What about your brain, what are you using it for instead?
    - fb03 9y ago
      Thank you for this amusing reply. You really believe all this :-)
      - andreasgonewild 9y ago

lohankin 9y ago

Had same thing at age 44. Stage 2.5, was given 60% chance. Had chemo and radiation. There's something I can share with you if you write to tatumizer at gmail dot com. I really hope I can help. I'm 60 now, still working as a programmer.

lohankin 9y ago
Forgot to mention most important tidbit I learned. Normally, you need to have your first colonoscopy at the age of 50. Mo matter if you have symptoms or not. But for certain ethnic groups, the probability is much higher. Your doctor may, or may not, tell you this (political correctness? Illiteracy? Not sure. In my case, family doctor was in denial even when he saw it), you need to do your own research. Find out where you belong, you may need it at age 30.

cicero 9y ago

I'm praying for you, Scott.

kobeya 9y ago

OP, consider cryonics for the sake of your children -- at least they will have a chance to know you in he future.

zocoi 9y ago

Just out of curiosity, what can an average Joe do to protect his legacy and ensure good outcome for his family? Cancer insurance, any other options?

PhantomGremlin 9y ago
Cancer insurance I don't think it's cost effective to buy insurance for individual maladies. If you do, the perhaps logical conclusion is to include coverage against robot attacks: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/old-glory-insurance/n10766?snl=1 http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/old-glory-insur...

zoom6628 9y ago

Best wishes. Be positive. Love your kids and family - the best legacy is what they keep in their hearts.

Viper007Bond 9y ago

Last fall at the age of 32, I was diagnosed with leukemia (ALL). I went from a completely normal life to being in the ER in just a week (thought I just had the flu in between). My life has been completely on hold for the past 10 months while I deal with this and the resulting bone marrow transplant. Thankfully ALL has a very high success rate for treatment and long term survival, but it has certainly made me realize how unpredictable life can be. I was putting things off that I wanted to do with my life and once I finish recovering, I certainly will work to correct that. Don't wait until tomorrow.

RickJWag 9y ago

So sorry to read that. Good luck to the author. I'd love to read a happy follow-up in 10 years.

open_bear 9y ago

See significant change in 'going to toilet' procedure or blood in stool? Go to the doctor! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIHJmvnzwg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIHJmvnzwg

Balgair 9y ago

Allow me to be profane for a moment: FUCK CANCER https://clinicaltrials.gov https://clinicaltrials.gov Start Here, please!

neilwilson 9y ago

Remember that the anecdotes on here serve two purposes. (i) to show that the aggregate does not inform the individual. As a species we are too influenced by aggregate stats. There is huge variation in individual responses. (ii) history is written by the winners. Those people who did not survive cancer are not here to write about it and those surrounding them tend to want to forget and move on. Survivor bias is a real thing. Not only is this story a reminder that life is short, but also that we must battle each day to keep perspective when the world and our human limitations are always trying to skew our views. Given the tensions in the world, seeing things from the other points of view has never been more important.

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aiyodev 9y ago

Every time I read a story like this it makes me angry that $700 million were wasted on Theranos instead of being invested in cancer research. Why isn't Elizabeth Holmes in prison yet?

sAbakumoff 9y ago

why did it bring so much attention? Some guy has been diagnosed with cancer, that happens every day.

EADGBE 9y ago
I'm not sure you'd understand. The first time you realize your mortality, it can really throw perspective at you. Much more of a slap in the face than whatever hottest trending framework happens to be on Front Page HN.
- sAbakumoff 9y ago
  Well, 1 month ago I hit a car on my bike[0] and was close to meet full consequences of it. Less experienced cyclist would be seriously injured or dead, I believe. Though it was kind of a slap in the face, I don't feel that I need to change anything. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUY7psClcbQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUY7psClcbQ

asldfkweiorz 9y ago

Good luck with that. Shit happens; my wife was stabbed on the way back home at 29 and has been in a coma and now vegetative state since. If someone has a good way to deal with this crap, please do let me know.

cpete 9y ago
Really sorry to read that. Hope things improve for you. My wife attempted suicide a few times last year. Thankfully things have stabilized since, but I had been contingency planning for life afterwards just to stay sane. I don't think there's a good way to deal with the crap...

rockit 9y ago

It took a case of endocarditis, a 30% chance of survival, two heart valves being replaced, a pacemaker installed, and another brush with death during the 6 month recovery, all at age 24, to wake me up. Ever since then, one thing I've really wanted, with all of my heart, is for people to wake up - see that this is not forever and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Listen to me, listen to the author - please, do what you need to do to enable yourself to pursue the dreams you really have, stop "just getting by".

_rockit_ 9y ago

deleted 9y ago

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lhuser123 9y ago

Life is a strange thing. One day you can have everything and the next nothing. Then, answers are never enough. And you're left with the option to do the best with what you still have.

pcunite 9y ago

Make yourself ready, before you die. http://youarehere.place http://youarehere.place