11 ms·
Looking at a young woman and the first thing that clicks on my head its asking and answering "is she attractive?" in a matter of milliseconds; its annoying as h
by notgood 9y ago
Looking at a young woman and the first thing that clicks on my head its asking and answering "is she attractive?" in a matter of milliseconds; its annoying as hell... why can't my first through be something more interesting? or at least why can't it be nothing at all so it doesn't interrupt my thinking? but I have come to realize that this is a more of a hormonal reflex than what we usually consider "a thought"; an annoying reflex which exists in a lot of other species as well, not just humans. I have noticed this reflex only weakens when I'm feeling depressed or other strong negative emotions; which I guess makes a lot of sense in an evolutionary context.
- davidreiss 9y agoWhy is it annoying? Who told you that you need to feel bad?
- tpallarino 9y agoI understand why you're getting downvoted but I think this is a really good point.
- rtpg 9y agoBy having those sorts of thoughts, you are privileging that aspect of them over any other sort of accomplishments they might have. They have less opportunity to present themselves in the way they would like to. Imagine if everyone around you in your workplace would think about how you're dressed instead of what you're actually trying to talk to them about.
- 3131s 9y agoWomen have the same instinctive reaction to attractive men though. I do agree everyone should be aware of how attractiveness can influence their perception of another person, but I don't feel guilty about noticing whether a woman is attractive or not and I definitely am not going to make a futile attempt to prevent it.
- rtpg 9y agoWe live in a society where this issue affects women way more than it does men (see Clinton getting lectured at about not constantly smiling). Bringing this up is part of a fight to reduce systemic bias.
- Boothroid 9y agoI think you are arguing for denial of a fundamental aspect of human nature.
- wox 9y agoI suspect you're missing the point of the parent comment, and the post itself. Regardless of whether these thoughts are wrong or oppressive, is it useful to fight or deny them? Is it helpful to chastise ourselves or feel guilty for having them?
- Lewton 9y ago> Why is it annoying? Because it affects his concentration? He already expressed that in his post " or at least why can't it be nothing at all so it doesn't interrupt my thinking"
- Banthum 9y agoRadical feminist, or hyper-devout Christian? I can't even conclusively tell the difference any more.
- vanderreeah 9y agoOr perhaps someone who doesn't want their valuation of other human beings to be solely based on criteria which are instilled by a mixture of: a) a centuries-long ingrained conception of women as possessions and b) (if you insist) evolutionary priorities.
- Banthum 9y agoThese two things are not the same. A) Noticing a woman's beauty when you first encounter her. B) Making a 'valuation' of a woman 'solely' based on her looks. What's really deeply disturbing about the above is the mind-control aspect, driven by shame. Not only must you censor your words, but you must also hate yourself for your involuntary thoughts. This is total ideological possession, as Peterson puts it. And it's so, so familiar. I swear, soon enough progressive men will be wearing chastity belts to help banish impure thoughts, or hair shirts to make up for their privilege. I am not even sure I'm joking.
- vanderreeah 9y agoOk, let's set aside the object of this "mind-control", i.e. the whole theme around men's attitudes to women, because we're not going to agree on that I guess. This is to be expected. But what I don't understand is your unwillingness to accept that it's sometimes ok to feel shame or the need to self-censor when one has certain thoughts. Is "mind-control", as you put it, always bad? Is one not allowed sometimes (not always) to attempt to regulate one's thoughts according to the guidance of a sector of society one respects (whoever that may be)? Indeed (though this is extreme) can one not even sometimes hate oneself for one's involuntary thoughts (depending on what they are, of course)? I understand you're linking this to the case of finding women attractive, but your post also seems to suggest that any kind of self-regulation, second-thoughts, self-criticism, is "ideological possession". Surely you don't believe that.
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- olau 9y agoI can understand why you find it annoying. Instead of being annoyed, perhaps you can find joy in watching what your mind perceives as beauty, just like people look at cars or sunsets? My grandmother always used to live up when she saw us and complimented us on our looks, although I'm sure they were nothing spectacular. After having children myself, I'm beginning to understand her - there's something satisfying watching other people. I think we should accept those joys we receive for free here in life.
- amelius 9y agoWomen can enter into a friendship with a man perfectly well, but to maintain it - a little physical antipathy is required. -- Friedrich Nietzsche