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I so agree with this. The whole "does it make my life happier" is such a shallow consumer thing. When I was younger I led an interesting life in many ways but

I so agree with this. The whole "does it make my life happier" is such a shallow consumer thing. When I was younger I led an interesting life in many ways but I have never had the intensity of experience I have with and about my children. Another really surprising thing was finding out how much I connect back with society - I want to be part of society and change it and make it better - I get what it is for. Children are not a lifestyle accessory and as the poster above says they push you into all sorts of aspects of your self in all sorts of interesting ways. The mixture of a startup and three small children has certainly been entertaining and there have been times when I am so exhausted I have nothing else to give but then to go and do something simple - like bathing the children or doing something in the garden with them and it makes it all worth while. As I frequently find myself telling my children: Things in life that aren't challenging aren't worth while (possibly hyperbole but you get my point)

pavel_lishin 16y ago
Really? Happiness is shallow and consumeristic?
- junklight 16y ago
  That isn't quite what I am saying. I am saying that buying something - or in this case having children - and expecting instant happiness is shallow and consumeristic. Proper happiness comes from deeper things and while this probably isn't the place to go into it I would argue that its not quite what you should be aiming for - depth of experience and quality of experience are better things to be aiming for to my mind.
- gcheong 16y ago
  The consumeristic version of happiness is.
- jimbokun 16y ago
  It is if you're dumb enough to have this as your definition of "happiness": 'When I mention this to Daniel Gilbert, he hardly disputes that meaning is important. But he does wonder how prominently it should figure into people’s decisions to have kids. “When you pause to think what children mean to you, of course they make you feel good,” he says. “The problem is, 95 percent of the time, you’re not thinking about what they mean to you. You’re thinking that you have to take them to piano lessons. So you have to think about which kind of happiness you’ll be consuming most often. Do you want to maximize the one you experience almost all the time”—moment-to-moment happiness—“or the one you experience rarely?”' I mean, why let a little thing like "meaning" affect the decisions you make in life, right? We all know how well focusing on immediate pleasure works in areas such as dieting, exercise, finance, career, etc. Why not apply the same logic to having kids, right?
  - ashot 16y ago
    it seems quite logical to me.

pavel_lishin 16y ago

Really? Happiness is shallow and consumeristic?

junklight 16y ago
That isn't quite what I am saying. I am saying that buying something - or in this case having children - and expecting instant happiness is shallow and consumeristic. Proper happiness comes from deeper things and while this probably isn't the place to go into it I would argue that its not quite what you should be aiming for - depth of experience and quality of experience are better things to be aiming for to my mind.
gcheong 16y ago
The consumeristic version of happiness is.
jimbokun 16y ago
It is if you're dumb enough to have this as your definition of "happiness": 'When I mention this to Daniel Gilbert, he hardly disputes that meaning is important. But he does wonder how prominently it should figure into people’s decisions to have kids. “When you pause to think what children mean to you, of course they make you feel good,” he says. “The problem is, 95 percent of the time, you’re not thinking about what they mean to you. You’re thinking that you have to take them to piano lessons. So you have to think about which kind of happiness you’ll be consuming most often. Do you want to maximize the one you experience almost all the time”—moment-to-moment happiness—“or the one you experience rarely?”' I mean, why let a little thing like "meaning" affect the decisions you make in life, right? We all know how well focusing on immediate pleasure works in areas such as dieting, exercise, finance, career, etc. Why not apply the same logic to having kids, right?
- ashot 16y ago
  it seems quite logical to me.