4 ms·

I hate to admit it, but I fall into the resentment camp. I don't belittle others, but I do envy their success. I know this attitude is counterproductive, but th

I hate to admit it, but I fall into the resentment camp. I don't belittle others, but I do envy their success. I know this attitude is counterproductive, but that doesn't motivate me to change. I suppose this is one of the many reasons the author is successful, and I am not.

justonepost 9y ago
Oh the resentment is perfectly natural, but it's pretty easy to overcome. It's like skipping the third beer or not buying the chocolate bar when you walk past it.
- pidge 9y ago
  Yet plenty of people struggle with alcoholism and obesity.
- ada1981 9y ago
  One of the best ways to heal this aspect of yourself is to actually expand the feelings of resentment in a safe therapeutic setting (possibly with a psychedelic or equivalent, i.e. Breathwork) and to get to the root of where your sense of survival was threatened by another's success. This is quite common in the current us school system where children are routinely pitted against one another for the love of a proxy parent, aka teacher.
- electric_sheep 9y ago
  Skipping the third beer is easy. Just jump straight into number four.
- adrianratnapala 9y ago
  I think you are dead on that about the similarity between these different things. But such temptations are not easy to overcome. Or at least just about everyone will have a weakeness for some such thing, and if yours happens to be resentment -- then it will be hard to get over. But you rinsight is still valuable: if you have difficulty getting over something, then remind yourself that you are being a like a drunk.
rajangdavis 9y ago
At least you are aware of this. What's worse is dealing with someone resentful that isn't aware of their toxic behavior... you can change, nobody's perfect.
ewanmcteagle 9y ago
As Charlie Munger says, envy is the only one of the seven deadly sins that has no upside (isn't even fun).
- rorosaurus 9y ago
  Devil's Advocate: Envy can be a powerful motivator which can empower you to strive to achieve what you desire.
  - adventured 9y ago
    Devil's Advocate on that: if you pursue something out of envy, it's very unlikely you're going to enjoy it nearly as much as anticipated, after acquisition. There's a difference between pursuing what you want independent of particular concern for what others have, and pursuing something because someone else has it. The end result upon acquisition is entirely different. It's similar to fame or prestige in that sense, which are given to you by other people's often fleeting opinions, and are frequently torturous accordingly to the extent one cares about such.
- ramblerman 9y ago
  Buffet has spoken out on it as well, saying envy is what really drives the world, not greed. Most people don't really want things until they think they are getting the short end of the stick.
jamesrcole 9y ago
> ...I do envy their success. I know this attitude is counterproductive... I don't think it's necessarily counterproductive. Of course an all-consuming envy isn't good, but I think some degree of envy is human nature and not a big deal as long as you don't take it too seriously. It can have an upside, if it becomes fuel to push yourself to work harder.

justonepost 9y ago

Oh the resentment is perfectly natural, but it's pretty easy to overcome. It's like skipping the third beer or not buying the chocolate bar when you walk past it.

pidge 9y ago
Yet plenty of people struggle with alcoholism and obesity.
ada1981 9y ago
One of the best ways to heal this aspect of yourself is to actually expand the feelings of resentment in a safe therapeutic setting (possibly with a psychedelic or equivalent, i.e. Breathwork) and to get to the root of where your sense of survival was threatened by another's success. This is quite common in the current us school system where children are routinely pitted against one another for the love of a proxy parent, aka teacher.
electric_sheep 9y ago
Skipping the third beer is easy. Just jump straight into number four.
adrianratnapala 9y ago
I think you are dead on that about the similarity between these different things. But such temptations are not easy to overcome. Or at least just about everyone will have a weakeness for some such thing, and if yours happens to be resentment -- then it will be hard to get over. But you rinsight is still valuable: if you have difficulty getting over something, then remind yourself that you are being a like a drunk.

rajangdavis 9y ago

At least you are aware of this. What's worse is dealing with someone resentful that isn't aware of their toxic behavior... you can change, nobody's perfect.

ewanmcteagle 9y ago

As Charlie Munger says, envy is the only one of the seven deadly sins that has no upside (isn't even fun).

rorosaurus 9y ago
Devil's Advocate: Envy can be a powerful motivator which can empower you to strive to achieve what you desire.
- adventured 9y ago
  Devil's Advocate on that: if you pursue something out of envy, it's very unlikely you're going to enjoy it nearly as much as anticipated, after acquisition. There's a difference between pursuing what you want independent of particular concern for what others have, and pursuing something because someone else has it. The end result upon acquisition is entirely different. It's similar to fame or prestige in that sense, which are given to you by other people's often fleeting opinions, and are frequently torturous accordingly to the extent one cares about such.
ramblerman 9y ago
Buffet has spoken out on it as well, saying envy is what really drives the world, not greed. Most people don't really want things until they think they are getting the short end of the stick.

jamesrcole 9y ago

> ...I do envy their success. I know this attitude is counterproductive... I don't think it's necessarily counterproductive. Of course an all-consuming envy isn't good, but I think some degree of envy is human nature and not a big deal as long as you don't take it too seriously. It can have an upside, if it becomes fuel to push yourself to work harder.